The Podcast on Haunted Hill

The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.

I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.

I think some of this might come.

Be one of us.

Come on, come on.

I didn't kill you my name.

Hang up.

I didn't kill you my name.

Oh, pardon me.

They're all friends.

It is time to keep your appointment.

Oh, well, I hope it's not a bloody, you know, one of those razor blades in that apple.

Well, that was quite a good haul from that house.

We've done all right tonight so far with this trick or treating, haven't we?

It's not too bad.

What are you?

I'm Wolfman, obviously.

Oh, I'm a penguin from the '89 Batman.

I know.

I think that's the reason we're doing so well is because, you know, I'm Wolfman.

Specifically, well, I'm specifically Benicio del Toro's Wolfman as well.

And I think that's what's selling it.

And you're Danny DeVito's penguin.

We're both very specific.

And yeah, I kind of got that sort of look about with the pointy nose and that.

You know, I'm doing my inner Danny DeVito.

I'm not sure you needed the real fish in your pockets.

No, no, but, but, you know, at least people are going like, OK, get going, get going.

Hang on, look at this in my bag.

Oh, what was it?

There's a marathon in here.

It's not Snickers, a marathon.

Hang on, let me check the sell-by date on this.

This is before they were called Snickers in the, oh, wait a minute.

It's American.

It's out of date 21 years ago.

Shall I still eat it?

Yeah, I'll eat it.

All right, I'll put that in the bag.

Right, let's get, let's get down to the next house.

Look at this.

My Mars boss looks like it's got peanuts in it.

How does that work?

I hope that is peanuts.

I think that might be a turd.

Is that a turd?

That's sweet corn.

Oh, chat that in the bush.

Oh, what's that?

There's someone in the bush.

They're stepping out.

Is that William Shatner?

Is that William Shatner in a boiler suit?

Is he been working on his car?

Oi, Willie, are you working on your car?

Oh my God.

Hang on.

There's someone across the road.

Who's that man waving at?

Is that Columbo?

No, it's Donald Bresens.

It's Donald Bresens.

What's he saying?

Can you hear?

Get away.

He's saying something to get away.

Let's sit like a mull.

Move your ass out of here.

What?

What are you saying?

Boys! Anu here!

Why?!

Let's just move on to the next house.

Shall we go? Ok, cool. Let's get on.

Let's knock on the next door.

Hopefully William Shatner is like can go on back inside now and he's fixing his car and those overalls.

He's not there, look he's vanished.

But let's knock on this one. This is number 13.

Let's get to the next one, we've got to go and do this Halloween podcast. Special.

Right. Let's knock on number 13 then. You ready?

Yeah.

Alright.

Oh my God.

Who is it?

What? I don't know.

Is that a creature from the Black Lagoon?

Let's get going. Let's go to the podcast.

We've got to get going. Come on.

We've got enough candy and sweets here. Let's get going and run back.

Come on. Let's get the microphones on.

Hello and welcome to the podcast on Haunted Hill episode 146.

Two.

Two.

I didn't know.

Episode 666.

I jumped into the recording and I was like I don't know what number it is and Dan's just

putting up fingers slowly in front of me but I'm...

No that's just me.

Oh.

That's just me keeping you the middle finger.

Birding me off.

Of course that says it's episode one. That's weird.

That will do to us.

So yeah, welcome Halloween spooky dooky people.

Your ghouls, your ghosts, your goblins, your green slimy things.

Slimer. Anything.

Anything spooky dooky.

Yeah.

Terror dogs, Zool and things that aren't from Ghostbusters like Wolfmen, Dracula's,

Brides of Frankenstein, goblins and Garden Gnomes of Concealife.

Gav, it's Dan here.

Oh, Gav.

Yeah.

I think we did that. I'm not sure actually now.

We're very excited because A, we're full of sugar because you know it's that time of year and B,

we're very excited because it's Halloween.

Spooky.

You all know the song.

Anyway, I hope you're all well.

Obviously this day, this episode is released a little bit before Halloween,

but for us to do like a Halloween special, we have to.

We can't do it live on the day.

It's just one of those things.

Yes. I hope everybody's well, safe, happy in the world.

Indeed.

This is our ninth Halloween special.

And your Halloween special.

So yeah, great times.

What are we covering?

We are covering some fun, comedy, horror, family friendly stuff.

One very old and one very new.

One borrowed and one blue.

A blue movie.

I've got one of them sort of kind of my choice really.

Well, last year I was like, oh, you want to do it?

And Dan was kind enough to say, yeah, go for it.

And that is actually the Frankenstein, Abagastomy Frankenstein.

1948.

The old school universal film, but a fond fondness from childhood,

which we talk about when we get to.

And it's just, it's just a fun film.

To be honest, what we've done this year are pretty much family friendly,

horror double bill.

We've pretty much done a Huey Halloween.

You could watch with youngsters.

It's not too bad.

This is the odd sort of thing, but it's no more than say episode of Simpsons.

You know.

Yeah.

So Huey Halloween being the other one that we're covering.

Yeah, it's definitely, it's got some jokes that might

sit well in an American Pie movie as well.

But also it kids won't notice it.

Like you said, Simpson stuff goes over your kids heads.

Adults get it.

Funny stuff.

Yeah.

So we're doing those and you've got some spooky things to talk about

on the world on the stream.

Yeah.

Bill Murray is already here.

He's carving a pumpkin, hollowing out that pumpkin.

So far he's made one hole in it and I don't like what he's doing with it,

to be honest.

But is he making a glory hole pumpkin?

He might be.

I'm not sure.

I'll have to check back in with this.

It's like American Pie, but the Halloween version.

American Pumpkin Pie.

Pumpkin Pie.

The Halloween spin-off.

Yeah.

So he's here.

He's got some stories for us, which is great.

Why is he putting three holes in it around it?

There's one there, one around there.

Is he like got friends coming around or something?

Don't cross the streams, Bill.

He should know not to cross the streams.

And I don't like the fact that in this room there's three of us.

Bill, stop looking at me with that glinted, whiskey eye of yours.

Look, it's Halloween if Bill wants one.

Bill wants.

So yeah, Bill's here.

We're going to be talking about our movies,

watching THONS that we've been watching all the way through October.

Yeah, watching the stuff we've been doing, our 31 and 31.

Obviously, we haven't completed it.

Well, you have, you're fucking gone past it of the number.

You're just at you because you like to do in the days of 31,

how many films?

Well, I don't.

I just attempt to get to 31 movies.

Yeah.

I try.

Well, we'll come on to that in a moment then.

And like we, you know, there's no rules to it,

but we'll come on to that in a minute.

But first of all, it must be a Halloween episode

because about 10 minutes before we hit record,

my nose suddenly started pissing blood.

So Lord knows what that was about.

My wife came down and said, you're ready.

Oh my God, what's going on?

And I had just had blood all over the kitchen, the sink, my tissues.

I was like, I'm really sorry.

I don't know what's going on.

But that's all stopped now, which is good.

Weird, very weird.

Maybe I was just very excited to be recording.

I'm going to be excited.

Yeah.

Maybe it was my body gets excited wrong.

When I get excited, rather than get an erection,

my nose just gets blood coming out of it.

It's weird.

Very weird.

So that's that.

But yes, what have you been up to, Gal?

Obviously, we know we've both been watching horror movies.

We're going to come on to that in a moment.

But have you been doing anything else?

No, you and your son did a little bit of pumpkin carving.

But what else?

Tell me about that.

Tell me about other things you've been doing that are fun

and exciting and spooky.

Yeah, I was with them yesterday for my day with them in the week.

And I was like, what can I do?

So I did what I do most now each year,

which is like there's a garden center about 30 minutes from me,

which do like a Halloween walkthrough.

So I did that.

I think I sent you some pictures.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't really put up on social media.

I've kind of not put stuff up on social media anymore.

But yeah, it was really fun.

Some really cool stuff there.

There was a one point.

A lot of you guys be,

I think that's supposed to be a baby coming out.

And it's like this zombie torso on the floor.

But then just like her baby just been ripping out of her on the floor.

And I was like, wow.

Made out pumpkins or just a little bit?

No, this is like a very realistic plastic thing or whatever.

And I was like, shit, okay.

Yep.

I guess that's logic.

We go now.

Yeah.

But he was scared though.

I liked it.

And at times I'd push him forward.

And no, no, stop pushing me back.

So I had to go front.

You know, it's quite fun.

And then we came home and we carved a pumpkin.

Well, he carved a pumpkin.

I just held it.

He designed the whole thing.

And I called it a punkkin.

Because I'll show you what it looks like when he finished.

Because it just looks like a punk.

He's just got,

he's got the blade stick out of his head with a little pumpkin carve.

I'm sticking out.

He's got some big plastic teeth.

It's just like, it's really his punkest pumpkin.

So that's what I called it, a punkkin.

Well, that should be a movie.

There should be a rock horror movie.

Rock opera.

Smashing punkkins or something like that, you know.

Yeah, a horror opera.

I had a fucking eight musicals.

Well, yeah, I know.

What have you been doing?

Yeah, I've, my son's been off sick this week.

So everything we've done in the center of Bristol is,

there's always, there's loads of Halloween stuff up.

So he's very excited to spot Skeleton's ghost.

Takes about three times as long to get anywhere.

Because he's like, look daddy a pumpkin.

And then we walk five more feet.

And he's like, look daddy a pumpkin.

And he's so excited about it all.

So that's great.

We went to a Halloween party today.

My cousin has got a couple of children as well.

So she's, she goes all out.

I sent you some pictures.

She's got a life size mummy in the hallway,

which she keeps in a bag in the garage,

in a bag, a big bag in the garage.

It's like a body on it.

It's life size.

And she's got that in the hallway.

She's got three pumpkins with a projector pointed at them.

And they sort of got that animated thing going on.

Where they're singing along.

So whatever song is on, ghostbusters, whatever it is,

they're singing along to it.

It's pretty cool.

She had that cauldron with dry ice in it.

And you blow on it and all the smoke goes everywhere.

And it looks really cool.

Edith was dressed up as a witch.

Jack was dressed up as a bat.

And I found a mask, which looked a bit like the mask from Demons.

So I was pretty chuffed with that.

So I wore that.

Yeah.

So we had a lot of fun there.

A lot of sugar was, was eaten.

And I think on Halloween itself, when it comes,

this will be the first year I'll probably take them out

to select few neighbors knocking on the doors.

Old man withers down the road with his razor blades

and his apples.

We won't be knocking on his door.

You know, the P.Dale up the road.

No.

It'll be trick or treating.

Daisy went to Fort Park today.

She went to the scary Halloween thing they do there.

She won't be trick or treating with me,

but a lot of days, they're trick or treating me.

We always got my parents' road, which just every year,

just fucking rocks.

It's just the whole year that everyone, all the people on the street,

it's like a massive thing.

So many kids go there and stuff.

When I was a kid, fuck all.

Nothing there, nothing at all.

I know.

When we were a kid, we were kind of deprived really.

Obviously I'm 45, you're 46.

So over 40 years ago now,

you didn't really get the celebration of Halloween in the UK

that you do now.

No, no, no, it's not.

You know, like you said, we also went to a pumpkin picking patch as well.

We go to a couple every year.

Those things are so telepenny now.

They're everywhere in the UK, pumpkin patch picking.

There's trick or treating galore.

There's even specific rules.

Like if you go knocking on doors between four and six,

then you're a toddler with your parent.

You only knock on the doors of people who've got decorations up,

all that kind of stuff.

None of this was around when I was a kid.

I'd loved to have done trick or treating.

I remember about it.

She was laughing at me.

'Cause I said, "Well, remember when we had a Halloween party?"

You said, "Yeah, we can have a Halloween party."

Really, it was a fireworks party.

'Cause that was more exciting for people.

For Guy Fawkes and I, which is like bullshit.

I don't care about.

And I was just there, in fact,

suggesting by myself, no one else whatsoever,

as a kid, going, "This shit, it's supposed to be a Halloween party.

I don't care about looking at fucking lights in the sky.

Who gives a fuck?"

Yeah, it was more geared towards Halloween,

which is only five days,

um, a bonfire night, which is five days after the 5th of November.

Remember, remember the 5th of November.

Who gives a fuck?

Well, I mean, we really enjoyed it.

'Cause my dad would always put on a little mini fireworks display

in our garden as kids, and that was fun.

It was quite sick as well that we would build a guy.

Me and my sister would go out and do penny for the guy.

And then once we'd bought all our sweets,

my dad would then put that guy on the bonfire every year.

And we'd just watch this effigy of Guy Fawkes burning to a crest.

Burning to death.

As young children.

I didn't do me any harm.

I'm fine.

Look at me.

[Laughs]

The other thing I did, I don't think I mentioned last time,

'cause I've done it since we last did a podcast,

I went to Whitby, Rosario.

I don't think so.

You did?

Yeah.

We did a little video on,

I'm gonna put it up on Instagram,

I did put it on Facebook.

So I went to Whitby where, if you don't know,

Graham Stoker went on holiday one day,

then got inspiration and started writing novella, Dracula.

Even the, that's the town that the boat comes in on.

So I watched a load of horror movies while I was in Whitby, Rosario.

We watched Dracula was on the first night,

the Peter Cushion one.

Amazing.

On the horror channel, like that night,

we were gonna be there watching on TV.

So I was like, "We watched this,

and we watched some other horror-y stuff."

You watched the Voyager the Demeter, didn't you, as well?

I did, I quite enjoyed it.

It's alright.

Which is cool, 'cause obviously that is

the opening chapter or so of the Dracula book, really.

Yeah, and really like this,

I really liked that episode when they did that free part of,

say, the BBC adaption thing recently,

it's on Netflix.

Oh, that BBC thing.

That third one.

The first episode was amazing.

Yeah, the second one I caught on the boat one.

But that third episode, it's just like,

"Why did you just totally,

series was really good,

then you like ruined it totally?"

I am probably gonna go back and watch that,

but I won't actually watch part three.

I'll pretend that it's a two-part.

Yeah, it's, I don't understand why they all said,

"Right, so we're gonna completely change

what we've set everybody up for watching and do this."

Dracula is now a social media

stalker, and what the fuck is going on here?

This is what Dracula is.

So I am gonna moan about it very quickly,

that fucking David Gordon Green Halloween trilogy of films.

I, the other day, I thought I'd never get back.

I thought, "I'm not gonna come back to this.

Here, I am back again."

The second one was on Netflix,

and the other day I was like,

"I'm just gonna put it on."

So I put it on, I'm doing this sort of stuff,

I'm gonna just watch it again.

And I'm just like the second one,

I remember it being like,

"Why is this just like this massive witch hunt?"

And it's like, "Everybody banned."

And I was like, "Oh, maybe that'd been bad."

Start watching it, and in the first few minutes,

I was like, "This looks really good.

The aesthetics are really good.

Production's really good.

We're a Blumhouse film.

You know you're gonna get good production.

It's in focus.

There's good sound, there's good sound design.

There's good camera work, good costumes, etc.

Everything's really good."

But then straight away, within the first minutes,

the inept police detectives,

and I know it's a horror movie where you get policemen,

you're always like,

"What are you, the police was doing a stupid thing."

They're doing like really nonsense things,

and they're straight away going,

"What are you doing?"

And then it cut to the bar,

where it's going, "We've got this guy coming up now

called Tommy."

And he comes on stage and says,

"I'm gonna now tell you all about a story of when I..."

And it's just like,

it's straight away, I disliked it again.

- So that was where I started laughing.

- It was just like, yeah.

It's like, this is like,

is this made by like children?

For like, make a film with numbers?

- And the coincidence then,

was everybody going, "Hang on a minute.

We all have the same thing in common."

Yeah.

- I know.

And I was just like, I turned it off.

I laughed at it and I put something on the couch.

I was gonna give it a shot,

'cause I was like,

"Oh, it looks quite good,

like the grain on the film."

But yeah.

And then the whole Donald Loomis thing,

Donald Pleasant standing there,

"What did he do?"

And it's just like,

his voice that they've got,

you could have done the Loomis better.

It's just like, "Oh man."

Anyway, yeah.

And I exed this movie still,

flopped a bit.

So I don't know if they'd be doing a trilogy

or something.

But I don't know.

It's with "Bloom House."

I read an article earlier where they just seem to be,

once upon a time,

like this real good indie studio

where "Get Out" came from

and all these new directors,

you know, new film.

And that seems to be just remakes

and intellectual property,

which is already owned,

and they just take it.

Like they've just released "The FNAF."

- They're like the new platinum tunes, aren't they?

- You know, "FNAF,"

"Five Nights at Freddy's."

Yeah, yeah, kind of.

They're going that way.

"Five Nights at Freddy's" is a game

that James been playing for years.

Years and years and years.

And they've just made a movie.

Jay came in last night and said,

"Well, they already made that movie, though, didn't they?

With the Nicholas Cage, you know what I mean?"

Yeah, because Jay came in last night and said,

"Oh my God, they've ruined it.

I've heard it."

Like, because Jay's got loads of people on it.

It's aimed at Jay.

Yeah, yeah.

And Jay's online with all their

- Twitchers. - ...fans about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Jay, yeah, said,

"They've ruined it.

I've heard about the story.

It's completely, da, da, da."

And I read a review earlier,

someone saying they could play,

just like missed exactly what it was.

And it's like, "How?

What are they doing wrong at Blumhouse?

Have they just tried to get too big for their own boots?

And they're just not...

They're ignoring what the audience actually want,

even though they're...

Are they like going,

"You want this, but we're duping you into it

because you're not getting what you actually want."

Because that seems to be what's going on.

Like, the Nexus movie is not what people wanted.

You know?

So...

Anyway, that's me.

My name's Ben.

I'm not going to mind about Blumhouse

because never know.

They might say,

"Hey, do you want to make us a movie for us?"

So then listen back and they'll be like,

"You dissed us."

"Oh, okay."

"Well, fuck you, Blumhouse."

Oh, no, I'm not saying that.

Just in case.

"And fuck you, Ghost Castle."

I'll sell out.

What is it selling out?

I suppose not, really.

No, it's not.

Not Blumhouse.

No, we love all the people who are...

I think Blumhouse has been a really good label.

No, I do as well.

When you saw it at a studio,

sorry, when you used to see that come up,

the logo, you'd be like,

"Oh, sweet."

But then it's just got so much now.

It's like, I watched "Totally Killer"

last night with Jay, Blumhouse,

Snooping, "Bats of Future Style,"

"Killing Red,"

and the woman goes back in time

to save her mum who died.

No, I've heard a lot about it.

I watched it and I was like,

"This is...

They've made this film about four or five times now."

It's that same sort of film.

It's just...

Yeah.

Like...

I've heard it's worth a watch,

but it's not like...

No, it's not even like...

I'm not going to say it's worth a watch.

You've seen the film a million times.

It's not even interesting.

It's kind of just literally like,

"Let's throw that out for the kids."

"It'll make some money."

Oh, and that actually went straight down.

It was in prime, so I don't know.

It's been a funny year for horror this year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, but when we get the time machine out

in January,

one of our January episodes,

we'll of course be able to look back at the year

and see all the horror movies that came out.

But it's been a funny year.

There's been some good ones

and there's been some stinkers as well.

Tell you what I'm going to moan about now as well.

Fuck you now.

Gav's on his fucking...

Here we go.

He's off.

Hang on a minute.

So people on my lawn the other day know,

I'm going to moan about

John McTurin's first directorial debut film.

I was like, "Wow, the dude a year later made Predator.

The year after that, he directed Die Hard."

All right, what was his first movie just before?

No Mads with Piers Brosnan.

Remember, we were going to do Bonds and Horror.

We never did.

Oh, yeah.

I watched No Mads with Sarah.

We rented out.

She's like, "Yeah, the toilet.

Yeah, cool. Superb you're quite good."

Fucking out the clue what's going on.

Even said, "Sarah, what's going on?"

Because she normally helps me when I get confused with films

because it happens.

And she's like, "I have no idea."

I was like, "Fucking..."

And it ended like, "I dunno.

I have no idea."

Schwarzenegger saw that.

He must have been fucking smoking some suits

when he watched that movie.

He saw that movie and was like,

"Let's get him to make Predator."

I was like, "What?"

And he persuaded the producers to direct Predator

because of the tense scenes there.

What tense scenes?

Luckily, on In New Wright,

because Predator's fucking amazing,

but that movie's bullshit.

Absolute bullshit.

I was gutted.

Gutted.

Like, honestly, a year later, you direct Predator,

then do die hard.

I love that in my top,

like probably top 10 films, those two.

And the year before, you make horror movies.

"Oh, let's check it out."

No.

Bullocks.

Okay.

And what's next on your list of...

No, you go.

I'll just pick a couple.

I'm not going to go for all of them.

I'll just pick the odd one,

which is worth talking about.

Oh, I'm going to run through mine very quickly,

but I won't be long.

But before we get to our 31s,

I just want to very quickly say happy Halloween,

of course, to all of our listeners, supporters,

patrons, et cetera.

We'll do that properly at the end as well,

but I feel that I need to say happy Halloween to everybody

because it's a very spooky, special time of year.

And I also want to say a big shout out to Don Collier,

one of our patrons, our newest patron,

actually, because he got his t-shirt.

Finally got his t-shirt.

Yay.

Sorry about that, Don,

but I'm glad you got it.

And I did post up a picture of him wearing it,

which he emailed me.

He sent himself a picture of it about five minutes away

from Camp Crystal Lake.

They shot the very first Friday the 13th movie,

which is fucking cool.

He lives in the US.

So that was amazing.

So thank you, Don.

Thank you for your support.

I'm so glad you got your t-shirt.

And thank you for sharing that picture.

Post it up on the Facebook page.

I know you're not on social media, my friend,

which is why I want to give you a shout out now.

Thank you, dude.

I won't read your email out because, you know,

it's your email and it's between you and us.

But yeah, cool.

Thank you, dude.

I'm glad you got your t-shirt.

And I hope you're enjoying all of the stuff

that we put in your ears, as well as everybody else's,

because it's not just Don's podcast.

It's everyone's podcast.

So when you're sleeping at night listeners,

each one of you, you don't know this secretly

about the podcast.

This is what happens in the podcast community

and into the world.

Now, I'm going to be assassinated

by the head of the podcast in the circle, Worldwide.

That's the name.

Oh, God, you're way done this.

I'm going to tell them.

I'm telling them.

At night, the podcast you listen to, at night,

the hosts come to your house like farm Christmas.

It's magic.

They know they come to your house.

They go to your room where you're sleeping

and they actually put proper things in your ears.

You're going to be thrown out of the equivalent

of the magician circle for telling everyone that.

I know.

The podcasting circle.

I'm going to have assassins sniping me out,

the podcasting circle.

Circle jerk.

Yes.

And we put things in your ears.

It's not just the audio you hear right now.

So be warned, listeners, but it's not always bad things.

Sometimes we put good things in your ears.

OK.

Well, we hope you've all been watching horror movies.

The Facebook page has been blowing up with everybody,

posting what they've been watching.

Now, for anyone who isn't aware or isn't on social media,

there's something called "31 Horror" or "31 in 31"

or "31 Days of Horror" or whatever you want to call it.

And what this can be is that traditionally,

it's watching a horror movie every day throughout the month

of October and finishing up with perhaps your favorite horror

movie on Halloween or something big or classic on Halloween

night.

That's cool.

And that's kind of evolved over the years to people watching,

or playing horror video games as well,

and posting that they're doing that, listening to horror music

and horror albums.

Whether you maybe watched three or four in one night

and you skip a few nights, some people

like to just say they've watched 31.

You could do that all in one week.

Some people do more than that.

I generally would pick around about 50 movies

and try and get through them all over the course of the month.

It's just whatever you want it to be, really.

But the main thing is you share what you're doing,

the excitement that you're doing on our Facebook page.

And everybody's been doing that.

People have been watching the Freddy movies, the Jason movies,

all the classics.

But then there's been such random things popping up as well.

And I know you've been watching stuff you've never seen.

Yeah, I've failed, actually.

I'm not doing this again because I'm such a neurodivergent

weird person that the fact that I've made this this 31,

I must watch.

And then it's like, I cannot move from this.

I must watch it.

And then it's like, now I'm forcing myself into a corner.

Then I'm like, well, which one do I watch?

I don't know.

And I haven't been enjoying forcing myself to watch things.

That's fair enough.

It's weird.

It's the first time I've done that.

Because on the side, I'm watching random things.

I watched the 9th Gate again just because it was on Free V.

And I've not seen it in HD.

And I love that film.

It's a brilliant film.

And I watched the other night.

I watched the Barbarian Sound Studio.

I couldn't remember the end of that.

I had it on Blu-ray.

And I was like, I can't remember the end of this.

I was watching it.

And I was like, again, I don't know what's happened.

I don't know what's going on in this film.

I didn't like that movie.

I really wanted to like that movie.

I loved the song.

But I watched it twice now.

I really love kind of where it's got a message,

but I'm a little bit too thick to understand what that is.

I think, yeah, for me, that's more style over stuff.

It's really-- I love it, though, because for me, it's great

because it's the sound effects and that sort of stuff.

For me, it's not-- for me to nerd out, it's really good.

And at the moment, I've been doing sound effects for Star Wars

film.

So, yeah.

Cool.

Yeah, which we could quickly go on to very quickly.

We've got a release date for that.

Yeah, Star Wars Sanctuary Moon, which

is the deadbolt films on production studio.

Almost a year in the making.

Yeah, and it's coming out November.

November 17th, we're going to do it.

It's not even finished yet.

But we-- I'm just like, right, putting a date on this,

because then otherwise, we're not getting this done.

So, slips into Halloween and Christmas.

Yeah, on YouTube premiere.

Don't you worry, we will post the link to that.

Oh, God, everyone and that.

You'll be sick to death of it.

You'll be bored of it.

You'll be watching it every day.

I'm hoping, though, once you've seen the film,

like, it's only eight and a half minutes about--

I think once you've seen it, you go, oh, that's really good.

You go back and you can watch it multiple times

because there's so many layers in it, I think.

And also, you can show your mates.

You can show your friends.

Oh, share it to--

Friendly.

Share it to Star Wars fans.

People that are just Star Wars fans or just horror fans,

whatever it is.

Yeah, do it.

And if you can just watch it, put it on the loop 24 hours a day,

all of you, that will really get our ratings up on YouTube.

No, don't.

I don't want to cheat.

No, do that.

It's fine.

We will probably have another episode out

before that date's released.

So we will remind you all.

But then again, you know--

That's true.

And then it'll just be on YouTube.

So then we could just be like, just go to Deadbolt Films

and check it out.

So--

Yeah.

And from there, you'll be able to base on to anything else

that's on our channel as well.

Yeah, but it's almost done.

I'm really, really proud of it.

Yeah, it's looking very good.

Very excited.

Yeah, there's just so much, so much intricacy and detail.

And it's--

It's got to the point now where I'm just excited to get it out

there.

And I'm sure you're the same.

You know?

I'm kind of like-- it's so precious now.

I kind of almost don't want to be like Prince

and just lock it up in a basement

and I won't ever see it.

Because I've just-- it's so big now, if it was in my head.

I don't want to see it.

Which Prince is this?

Prince Andrew locking children up in basements?

I don't want to know what's locked up in his basement.

Oh, you mean Prince the artist?

Right, sorry.

I just apologize.

Apparently he wrote an album once with an engineer.

And the engineer was sitting there, did the whole album,

and sort of finished it and said, oh, that's really good.

And the guy was like, that's fucking amazing.

It's such a best friend I've ever heard.

And then he came over and went, beep, and just deleted

the whole album.

Because a true artist is someone that does it for themselves.

They're doing it because when they say put it out, they go,

oh, that's the thing you get.

That's your orgasm.

You're going, oh, that's fucking awesome.

Like us release the stars.

There you go.

It's fucking-- it's not mine anymore.

It's the world.

But it's like precious, like I've said with the stars.

Just keeping it so no one can ever see it.

It's like special just for you or whoever's involved in the making.

It's an artist thing.

Where we--

Oh, there we go.

Print's in a basement.

Of Prince Andrew's basement.

Not Prince Andrew.

Prince, the artist formerly known as.

Imagine that basement, mate.

Even though he had nothing to do with anything,

because he just paid off 10 million to a stranger.

I wasn't there.

Take 10 million, do you think, I was there?

He doesn't sweat.

Prince Andrew does not sweat.

I know there's a photo of me with the arm around you,

but that means nothing whatsoever.

Don't worry about it.

You're fucking nonce.

Right, anyway.

Fuck you, no.

Let's get back to 31.

Fucking come.

Right, yeah.

Jesus.

So 31.

So anything else you want to talk about?

Any others?

Do you want to bank back or some forward?

Do you want to carry them with your list for a bit?

Not really.

I also did a walk.

I turned up at the apartment with Sarah.

I was like, don't worry.

Could take the laptop, HDMI output, plug it into Tele.

We've got fucking anything we want.

No way to turn up.

For whatever reason, on the Samsung Tele,

it just made everything go green and pink.

I was like, what the fuck?

And apparently it's a Samsung TV thing.

I don't know.

So we had to-- there was a DVD player there.

So we had to go--

I was like, tomorrow I'll go find some DVDs in Binderman.

And I found a trilogy box set of Twins of Evil.

It's a hammer box set.

Broids-- oh, I don't know.

Twins of Evil, Psych-House.

Oh, Cirque van Parcer.

Cirque van Parcer?

Oh, yeah, there's a trilogy, isn't there?

And then the other one, which is a really random one,

which was Countess Dracula.

But it was a period piece.

And it wasn't very interesting.

And I was gutted.

So I did watch that as well.

I had a full-on van par weekend while I was in Whitby.

But that's it, really, apart from that.

And the movies I've seen for this show.

Excellent.

And what will you be finishing up for Halloween?

Or did you know?

I don't know.

Halloween day time.

I've got a day off because I always take a day off for Halloween.

And I don't know.

There's quite a lot of films that I fancy watching.

A few things I want to see.

I've got Kujo to watch.

What I'm still like, I don't know about Kujo.

He's got a child in peril and a dog with rabies.

And I like dogs.

You could watch that in the day and then finish up

on something really good in the evening,

that you're like a comfort blanket.

Yeah, not sure yet.

Don't know.

Cool.

Yes.

Anyway, should we do an episode?

Well, can I talk about my--

I thought you finished, sorry.

I haven't even said one of them yet.

Well, that's you done, Dan.

Right, next one.

Only I matter.

I am the opposite to you in that because I have so many films

to get through on so many lists.

If I don't have a pattern in front of me,

I won't know what to watch.

Well, I will.

And it will just be random.

So last year I did all those Hammer Horror movies.

But about 50 of them.

And I really enjoyed doing that.

And I thought, let's do a theme next year.

So this year, as a lot of people know,

I'm doing werewolf movies, which has been a lot of fun,

actually.

And there's a lot of werewolf movies out there.

There's probably about 70 or 80, maybe close to 100.

But I'm not obviously watching all of them.

And I did talk about some of the ones

I've watched on the last episode.

So I won't go through all of those.

Well, can you currently mention you put up--

I don't even have it.

I paint a cushioned werewolf film on YouTube.

What was the name and what is this?

What studio?

I'll scroll through these then very quickly.

So yeah, I watched the American werewolf movies,

both of them.

All the howling movies I've watched.

Werewolf of London, the Wolfman, the original.

Frankenstein meets the Wolfman, which

was the original crossover.

And that was a lot of fun.

Last year I bought the Universal Wolfman Legacy DVD

collection.

And it's all done--

It's so good.

I think it's five movies.

It's so good.

Yeah, I like the scrap that they have at the end.

Big old scrap.

I watched Frank She-Wolf of London,

which was probably one of the worst I've seen out of all

of these so far.

The Wolfman from 2010, which I'd like to cover with you

sometime.

I really think that remake's quite decent.

It's not a bad movie.

And there's a few bits with Rick Baker and that

to discuss around that as well.

Yeah, it's a shame it had made him retire.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Curse of the Werewolf, obviously the classic--

the one and only Hammer Horror movie they did as a werewolf.

Now, there's a couple I want to talk about very briefly.

One of those is Wes Craven's Curse from 2005.

Me.

That's so bad.

No.

Don't.

I enjoyed it.

It was made twice because it was so shit.

I know.

I know all about it.

I know they reshot pretty much 70% of the film.

And they cut loads of actors out of it.

Rory Felburn was in it.

And his role was cut.

But I watched it having only ever seen it once and thought,

that's not that bad.

It's not that bad.

I thought it was OK.

I was a teenage werewolf.

Ginger Snaps 1, 2, and 3, the second two were awful.

But the first one is still a great, great, very original

horror movie.

You found a Ginger Snaps?

I made my first watch to it.

I thought it's quite good.

Yeah, it was the first good werewolf movie we'd had in a while.

I think I fancy the Lisbeth work of her name

was at the time.

What's her name?

Catherine Lisbeth.

Catherine Lisbeth, who we met a couple of times,

haven't we?

Also did the company of Wolves.

That is a fucking weird film.

But I kind of like it.

But it's not in my top 10, even, werewolf movies.

But it's good.

It's just a very weird film.

Beware the Unibrow.

Team Wolf, Team Wolf 2.

Team Wolf is definitely one of my favorite werewolf movies

of all time.

It's to do with Puberty.

We've covered it on this show.

It's that whole thing for me.

It hit me at the right age.

And it's got some genuinely creepy stuff in it.

Wolfen, which I know we've talked about.

Yeah, and it's not even a werewolf movie in some ways.

Not really.

It's a killer.

Yeah, but it's a good thing.

I think I'm going to get it from House of the Dead.

It's got a similar vibe to howling in that.

No, House of the Dead.

A Tyrest movie.

House of the Devil.

Sorry.

Yes, that's right.

Noonan.

Tom Noonan.

It's got a similar vibe to the howling.

It's got a bit of a dirty.

You feel a bit gross watching it.

Do you know what I mean?

And it almost has a kind of vibe, almost a little bit,

like manhunter or something.

Yeah.

Original Salsa Lambs.

It's just kind of, yeah, it's kind of a grittier type sort of film.

I really like it.

I'm a big fan of that, maybe.

Yeah, it definitely grows on me every time I watch it.

I watched Lobos de Argo, which is the attack of the werewolves,

which you lent me many years ago.

It's a good film.

Yeah, it's like a...

The writer goes back to his village, yeah?

Yeah, it's like, it's got...

It sounds wank when people say,

"Oh, it's like, 'Shall of the Dead' with werewolves."

But it is actually like that.

And it's not a...

It's a French.

Yeah, no, it's Spanish.

It's French, it's German, Spanish.

It's incredibly funny.

It's not, it's a shame it is Spanish.

It's a shame it's not an English-speaking language.

Only we's normal saying it, because it would have got more views.

It would have been bigger.

And it would have been more of a classic.

If that had been in English, if that had been British, you know.

If you're not afraid of subtitles, I urge you to watch it.

Yeah, I...

That's Lobos de Argo or Attack of the Werewolves is from 2011.

I think I've got it on my ears somewhere.

Yeah, it's a good film.

I think, well, you lent it to me on, I think DVD,

or I watched it with you or something.

So I've been meaning to go back and check that out.

And yeah, it's very silly.

It's got some dog soldiers coming...

comedy in it as well.

I thought that was fun.

I watched Wolf with Jack Nicholson, which I think is a great movie.

I think that's a great movie.

Quite a serious movie.

Jack Nicholson is amazing in it.

I watched Dog Soldiers and I go,

"Dog Soldiers is edging from one of my top...

one of my top three close to being number one werewolf

in the movie The All Time."

That film gets better with every watch.

It's like watching Predator from the Aedians with the action.

Because you forget the action scenes are really well directed as well.

That whole scene at the end with the barn and the Range Rover

and the fight against the werewolf.

But then it's got all the comedy in it

and the fact that it's werewolves as well.

And I have never really noticed, and I'm such an idiot,

we've covered this on the show,

that it's got all these sort of Hansel and Gretel

and Goldilocks on the three bears,

because they find the cottage that's got all the food on the table in it.

So it's got all these other layers and elements to it as well.

It's just such a good film.

Dog Soldiers, man.

I really hope they never make a sequel.

They're always threatening to make a sequel.

But I had a pirate DVD back in the day.

I got off the streets from London.

It just stopped really quickly and I jumped out the van

and I was working and I was like,

"Oh, nice. What have you got?"

And I was like, "Yeah, I'll take that."

And I went home and it was just the blackest thing.

It was just so dark.

I couldn't see fuck all.

Oh, man.

And the sound was all shit.

And I was like, "Why did I do this?"

I'd say.

But yeah, no, it's a good film.

Good film. Now, there's one werewolf movie I'd never seen before,

which I watched.

And that is from 1993,

starring Patsy Kenseth and Mario Van Peebles.

What the fuck is this?

It's called Full Eclipse.

I believe it was Jamie Sammons that mentioned this.

Now, it's like lethal weapon meets X-Men.

Essentially, Mario Van Peebles' partner, he's a cop,

and his partner is killed at the beginning in a shootout.

But then he comes back and it turns out he's been recruited

into this vigilante wing of the LA police

that inject wolf serum into them.

And they sort of wolf that a little bit on nighttime missions

with claws and fangs.

And they go in and they rip apart these drug cartels.

And then in the morning they're all like...

It's a wolf cob.

It's like a serious version of wolf cob.

But it's Mario Van Peebles, Patsy Kenseth,

and all these wolves are in it.

And then he's like, "Do you want to join the pack?

Come on, Mario Van Peebles."

And he's like, "Man, do I want all that power?"

I don't know if you're selling the movie to me

or really putting me off.

I can't tell.

It is on YouTube.

It's free to watch.

And honestly, it's cheesy, but good,

and unusual and original.

And I just never heard of it.

So I always love checking out a new werewolf movie

that I'd never seen, especially one from '93.

And jumping onto that, what is that Peter Cushion movie?

Don't leave me hanging.

The Peter Cushion movie that I watched recently,

that is The Legend of the Werewolf.

What the fuck is this?

What's the name of it?

1975.

Is it Doggone?

No, it's not.

Hang on, let me...

A lot of people thought it was Hammer, but it's not.

No, because Hammer only ever reads Oliver Reed's werewolf film.

That's the only werewolf film they did.

I'll tell you now what it is.

Yeah, well, I know that and you know that.

But hang on.

It's also got Roy Castle in it.

It's 1975.

It's directed by Freddie Francis, stars Peter Cushion,

Ron Moody, Hugh Griffith, Roy Castle, and it is...

What studio is it?

Tyburn.

T-Y-P-U-R-N.

Tyburn films.

Oh, OK, cool, yeah.

But yeah, it's all right.

The werewolf in it is pretty decent.

Obviously it's Peter Cushion.

And it's about a boy in a circus that they sort of, you know,

"Oh, come and see the wolf boy.

Come and see the wolf boy."

And he bites someone.

And yeah, it's usually a werewolf film,

but that is another one I'd never seen, actually.

Any good?

Yeah, I think I gave it like six out of 10.

It's not like spectacular.

It's pretty cushioned, though.

Yeah, it's all right.

It's worth watching.

And again, it's on YouTube.

So if you guys want to check that out, I'll just round up.

I also did Bad Moon, which we covered on Jamie and Brian's show.

Like in it, which...

Good film.

It is a good movie, and that's from 1996.

Again, under the radar, and I think, like I said before,

I think it's because the actors and stuff,

they're not really...

They're really people who care.

What's amazing about it is the majority of it

is taken from the point of view of the dog in it,

who's protected the family, and it's great.

And I'd really like to cover it on our show sometime, actually.

Yeah, but we did cover it on Jamie's.

But I'd like to cover it on our show as well,

because I think it's worth bringing to the attention

of our listeners as well, but it's just...

It's really good stuff.

The only thing that lets it down,

as a lot of werewolf movies do,

is the werewolf or the transformation.

That can be...

Often be the poor thing.

Now, I also watch The Beast Must Die.

Now, we love that because it's got a werewolf break in it.

For anyone who's never seen The Beast Must Die...

-Werewolf break. -It's a who done it,

where about 20 minutes before the end,

because it's basically 10 people in a mansion,

and they're trying to figure out

which of them is the werewolf.

And then 20 minutes before the end,

it goes, "Now it's the werewolf break.

You've got one minute to tell the person next to you

and the third to who you think is the werewolf."

And you're supposed to have been keeping score

of who you think. It's so fun.

And they've never done anything like it

in any modern movie that I know of since, really.

No, funny enough though,

because the guy with the long hair in it

who lives in my town is the long blonde hair actor.

-Yes, yeah. -I bumped into his daughter the other day

in St. Petersburg, he's looking for a door,

and straight away she's like, "Have you finished it yet?"

And I said, "Fish what?"

The Star Wars film, she went, "Yes!"

And I went, "Soon."

She goes, "Let me know. I will. I will."

At some point, I'd love to try and get a dad on the show

for an interview, but we don't read the interviews,

and I don't know. I don't know where that fits.

And I haven't been trying for a few years,

but it seems to be quite a hard thing.

He doesn't act anymore, unfortunately.

Yeah, well, he'd probably have some good stories about...

He would have probably great stories about Beast Must Die.

-You know? -Yeah.

Very quickly then, whizzing through,

I also watched Werewolves Within, which is fun,

came out only in 2021. It's still on Netflix.

Again, another who'd done it, and it's very funny.

Very funny Werewolf movie.

I watched...

What is fast becoming probably in my top 10?

And it's quite a new movie, where, W.E.R. 2013,

it's really, really tense, terrifying,

and probably the most...

Is that the one on the train at the beginning?

No, that's Howl.

Which starts at the first half, it's great,

and then it's just shit.

Oh, Howl is awful. I watched it again.

Howl starts off OK, on the train journey down,

and it stops, "Oh, what's happening?"

Then it just goes shit.

I watched that again the other night.

Yeah, I tried that one a long time ago.

It's about the third time or fourth time we watched it,

and I won't bother again, it's just a shame, really.

It is?

But Where is the most...

That's someone who's being interrogated.

Yes, so it's the girl from Final Destination 2.

She's a lawyer, and there's been a brutal attack,

or a boy and a mum and dad were all killed.

And they think it's this guy,

but it looks like Animal Attack,

and they bring this guy in who's very hairy,

he's about six foot ten, doesn't barely speak,

he's got really big hands,

and the actor is incredible, really intimidating.

And it's the girl from Final Destination 2,

and she's the lawyer, and she's like,

"Look, you need to tell me what happened,

"I'm here to protect you."

And they start to figure out,

has he got some kind of form of werewolfism,

but there's a medical condition for it?

And it really looks into the realistic nature of likeanthropy,

and could it be real?

And that all sounds really shit,

but it's not, this film is done incredibly well,

and then halfway through, like the midpoint,

it just goes into a direction where you're like,

"Fucking hell!"

And it just gets really, really good.

There's a couple of like sloppy bits towards the end,

but it's done really, really well,

and I really recommend Where from 2014.

Thanks, Lately.

- You reminded me of a co-star of yours, Dan,

in the Shadow of Death, Dan Carter Hope.

He made a short film, which I'll tell you once,

called The Third Man, as in F-U-R-R-E-D, as in the--

- Oh yeah, I remember.

- Awesome, World's Third Man,

where he's been interrogated in a werewolf costume,

but he's just got the mask off,

and he's just sitting there.

And I won't say anything more,

but that's on YouTube, if you want to check it out,

it's a little short film.

It's quite a good little short film,

and that's a werewolf short film.

- Oh yeah, completely forgot about that.

- That's a good film, isn't it?

- Yeah, it is, it's very good.

And then, the last couple, very quickly,

my mom's a werewolf from 1989, which is so cheesy,

and jumped on that.

Team Wolf Bandwagon, but it's fun.

Two movies, which I will never watch again,

Wolf Cop and another Wolf Cop,

they're all four, really.

I thought they were good, but--

- That's the thing, I remember,

I've never seen another Wolf Cop,

I remember the first Wolf Cop,

just being really impressed with the werewolf look,

but then being like, it's a shame it's in this film.

- Yeah, it's--

- Because you get so many werewolf films,

like, oh, this could be a good werewolf film,

then it's ruined by the werewolf,

and you're like, oh.

- Then I watched a very short one,

Michael Jackson's Thriller,

'cause he turns into a werewolf creature and that,

although he doesn't say he's a werewolf,

he says he's a werecat and that, which is interesting.

Little fun fact for you,

apparently halfway through recording the song of Thriller,

Michael Jackson started crying

because they couldn't get the mix right

with the sound engineer.

So he got on his bicycle, apparently,

and he cycled up to a local children's park,

and said he's watching children play

for about 90 minutes or so.

Then he came back and said, right, I've got the idea,

I've got inspiration again, let's do this,

and then they finished making the song Thriller,

so I just thought I'd share that little fact for you

with you all there.

A last couple I watched, Late Phases,

what an incredible film, again.

- Yeah, yeah.

- The werewolves let it down a little bit,

but it's great, Howl, terrible film.

I'll be watching Viking Wolf,

which hit Netflix very recently,

and I've heard it's quite good.

I'll also be watching Strippers versus Werewolves,

The Wolf of Snow Hollow.

- I've seen a lot of Strippers,

but Werewolves is awful.

- I know, I've seen it before.

The Wolf of Snow Hollow,

which we covered for our Christmas episode recently.

And then, I'm very excited that Marvel

have released a color version of Werewolf by night.

- Oh, okay, yeah.

- Which I'll be watching on Halloween,

along with my favorite Werewolf movie

called, "Wall Time Silver Bullet."

And that's what I'll be finishing on,

"Silver Bullet" on Halloween.

And that'll be 49 Werewolf movies.

- Fuck me.

I wasn't really into Disney one.

I never made it all the way through.

- Disney? Oh, Marvel, yeah.

- All the way through Disney.

I'd still like to make a found-for-werewolf movie,

but I just don't have an idea.

- Well, that's why Wear,

that's what going back to Wear is so good.

And that's probably gonna be that

and the Mario fan people's ones.

- The fan people's.

- Oh yeah, I've got a bad throat, as you know.

- The fan people's throat.

- That and the Mario fan people's movie.

- Oh, that's like the fan people's.

- Don't make fun of my condition, Gavin.

Yeah, Where is the one?

It's almost like a semi-fan footage.

Do you know what I mean?

It's one of these ones.

- Werewolf? There, wolf.

Werewolf.

- Werecastle.

- There, wolf.

Werecastle. There, castle.

- Yeah, check it out.

- And that is, and will be,

my 31 days of werewolves and lycanthropy.

Exciting, hairy times.

- You never know on the Halloween night,

and it's might turn into a werewolf.

And it looked like that one at the end of Howlin'.

- The little cute fuzzy gremlin.

- Yeah, you're in bed with a little cute fuzzy werewolf.

- Having watched this many werewolf movies,

it's interesting at just how much

they shit the werewolf movies,

shit the bed at the last act

when the werewolf is revealed

or the transformation is shown.

Unless you've got like Rip Baker or Rob O'Teen,

you are, and even then sometimes it's a bit dodgy,

you're like, "Ah."

- Yeah, I've got incredible practical effects

or you've got good camera work.

- I think, for werewolf movies.

- But they don't show the whole wolf, so it's...

- I think for werewolf movies, right,

so for creature features,

it's always the rule less is more.

But for werewolf, you do wanna see that transformation,

but I think that's the advice, less is more.

Try being as practical as you can.

Avoid CGI, guys.

- Every time though,

you're just up against American werewolf.

So it's like, that's what,

I'd love to make a found footage,

where were we?

How the fuck do you do that?

Don't forget from the werewolf's point of view.

- Well, there was that.

- The werewolf's got a cam called a strap to his face

and could give off.

- I'll tell you what, there's that really good

found footage of a vampire movie

where the guy gets bitten when he's on holiday in Europe.

- Yeah, that's good.

- I'm happy for the life of me

and recall what that's called, though.

- That's quite a good film,

when he gets powers and stuff.

- Yeah, and his buddies with him,

and he's like, "God, see if you can jump over that building."

And he starts figuring out, you know.

- And then he goes to work bad.

Oh, I thought I had the name then, gone.

Anyway, should we get on to our show?

- Yes, so that's Halloween.

This is Halloween.

I am Halloween.

We are Halloween.

(humming)

Halloween.

(laughing)

Well, we're gonna kick things off

by going back to 1948 with a trailer for--

- We're going to turn black and white ourselves.

- Yeah, we are, we're ready.

- Look at us.

My beard's black and white.

- That's how color gets sucked from me.

(snoring)

- Oh, it sucked my color.

- Jesus Christ, you just made Bill Murray look rained.

- Fucking E-Wooder is free, hold pumpkin.

- He's still carving out.

So we're gonna be going back for a trailer

of "Abbot and Costello Meets Frankenstein" from 1948.

We'll go into that and then we'll go

straight into our review of that film.

- Here's a trailer.

- And it'll be an old trailer, so good luck.

(dramatic music)

Count Dracula sleeps in this coffin

but rises every night at sunset.

Chick is right, this is awful silly stuff.

(door clicking)

(dramatic music)

- Come on, take it all out.

Wow.

Look out, chick, come on up.

It's a man of color, come on up.

- The nation's top comic's "Abbot and Costello,"

petrified but hilariously.

(dramatic music)

- Oh!

- Plus the dangerous and terrifying wolf man

played by Lon Chaney.

Plus that beaned out of a nightmare,

the vampire Batman Count Dracula played by Bella Lugosi.

Plus the most dreaded creature of them all,

the Frankenstein monster played by Glenn Strange.

(gunshot)

Plus a couple of luscious but designing females

in the spookiest laugh fest on record.

(dramatic music)

(baby crying)

(baby crying)

(dramatic music)

(baby crying)

(baby crying)

(dramatic music)

And we're back, and that was a trailer for

Bud Abbot, Luke Costello, meet Frankenstein.

Now, I'm looking at our IMDb,

Dan I was currently discussing this off air,

and I would always call this Abbot Costello,

meet Frankenstein.

Then the reason is, I'm looking at this now,

the reason why I've always called it that

is because the large, fontid Abbot,

large fontid Costello, and large fontid

meet Frankenstein on the poster.

The Bud, Luke, and a like 15% of the smaller text.

That's why I've always called it that.

- But also, it's more commonly known as

Abbot Costello meet Frankenstein these days,

over the years.

- Yeah, and I think from that though really,

it's easier, it flows better as well though, doesn't it?

Why would you want the rest?

Anyway, I'm going back for my old title,

Abbot Costello, meet Frankenstein from 1948.

It's an hour and 23 minutes long.

The Wolfman tries to warn a dimwit porter,

Dracula wants his brain for Frankenstein's monster's body.

7.3 out of 10 IMDb.

- That's good, that's good.

- Yeah, I am a big fan of this one.

- Yeah, I love it.

- My uncle who lived over the road through

when I was growing up, literally over the road,

I could have actually thrown a stone at his house.

He had a massive film collection,

he's the one who got me to films.

This is not his birthday the other day, I gave him a card.

I gave him the new recent James Bond movie for his birthday.

- Nice.

- 'Cause he's still got a massive movie collection

of random movies I've mentioned before.

And he would take me over there,

but I'd be like, I'm into horror.

But obviously, when I was a kid for me,

it was mid 80s really, I'd be starting to get into horror.

A little bit, it's been about eight all over.

And, but he was showing me stuff like this.

So he got me, 'cause he's coming

from an old school generation,

and he's showing me stuff, and this is 1948 movie,

in the 80s.

But for me, this is kind of my childhood,

which is kind of weird, do you know what I mean?

It's not like it came out then.

And I was like a kid in the 40s.

And it was really funny to watch a lot of these films.

And I got a massive fondness from this.

And I watched this before any other universal film,

like before the original Franks, or for any of that.

So I knew all these people, I knew like,

Talbert is gonna be played by who's played by.

I know Dracula's played by who's played by,

and they were the original actors in them,

better than the go-see in that.

So, I don't know, this is the OG universal film for me.

- So this is your first one,

that's an interesting gateway into it.

And I think, you know, I can see why that would be.

- And the gateway into horror,

I reckon this is probably one of the first horror films

I watched.

- Well, off the back of that,

I would say that part of the reason for that is,

it feels like a bit of a live action Scooby-Doo.

- Yeah.

- And Scooby-Doo is certainly a gateway

for a lot of us into horror.

- It feels safe, because Alan Costello are safe.

- Yep.

- You know, you could not really--

- No one's gonna get bruised, really.

And you've got really like the, I'm gonna say,

Tubby, a fatty guy, I ain't saying that

'cause in the movie, they joke upon his weight

in certain ways, it is quite old school, obviously.

But him, and then his mate, who's a little bit,

(groans)

taking the piss out of the old time

and clipping around the ear sort of thing.

And 'cause you have that interaction and play,

there's a real safety to it.

You know that they could be all right.

They could probably take care of themselves if that did.

If they had that, they'd have a little punch-up.

They probably could do it, you know.

I don't know.

I'm a really, really big fan of this film.

- There's a couple of other things that I would comment on

here related to what you've just said.

Firstly, it's got a very carry-on movie feel,

which again, you and I, and a lot of people

who are age grew up watching.

- In the UK, yeah.

- Yeah, and our US listeners or other listeners

would know of the carry-on movies,

but there's a real simple childlike, silly slapstick,

and that isn't a bad thing, style to this movie

and all of those carry-on movies and stuff like that.

And it makes it really accessible

to both children and adults.

And the fact that it crosses over into the universal horrors

is fun for people who know those movies.

And like you said, it's a great gateway

for children to get into.

The other thing I like about Aberdeen Costello is

there's a real, you know, they're a classic duo.

Not many people have heard of them.

And we will briefly give everybody just a brief overview

of their career at the moment.

- I've got a DVD box, actually,

all the little things they get up to.

- Yeah, not many people would have heard of them in the UK.

You probably would have heard of Aberdeen Costello,

but, you know, I'll come back to their career in a minute.

But what I like about them is, as you said,

there's a straight guy and there's a funny guy

that you get in all your classic duos,

whether it's the two Ronnies, you know,

and all that kind of stuff in the UK

and all over the world.

- Yeah, one of them's a joker,

one of them's a more business type.

- Yeah, and what they remind me of.

- They're probably at the back business at the front.

Do you know who they remind me of?

They really remind me of Bert Reynolds and Dom Deleuze.

- Yeah.

- And especially this time around,

but whenever I watch them, they always remind me,

'cause you've got the Dom Deleuze style,

Chubby, Snapped It. - Could be AI,

'cause someone's AI that filmed for us.

Can we have this film,

but Black and White, Bert and Dom, like, in it?

- Can you imagine that the Cannibal Run style?

But yeah, so those are my reasons why.

- But it would be like,

"Why are you getting all the ladies?

"I'm the player."

- Yeah, exactly.

And this would be, you know,

and I'd love to see that with the Dracula

coming out the coffin and, you know.

- That'd be funny as fuck with Dom Deleuze.

- So yeah, so those are all my reasons

why I can see a young guy loving this.

Now, I didn't see this as a young kid.

I don't think anyway.

- Yes, I don't imagine many kids--

- Some of these was on TV.

- Many kids have shown this from their uncle's film.

It was like, "I like horror," and he was like, "Hmm."

I probably would have seen this 20 years ago.

Maybe even less than that.

- Even in the 80s, the people weren't going to

"Watch this movie from 1948," you'd like.

And I sat there going, "Yes!" and loving it.

You know, and I have a massive appreciation

for black and white films.

- But what we're saying is, guys,

that there's a lot here to love.

If you like "Carry On" movies, or you like "Slapstick,"

or you like "Universal Horror" or "Scooby-Doo,"

all that kind of stuff, this has got it all for you.

And although that's dangerous to say--

- "Scooby-Doo," this has got it all for you, yeah.

- Oh.

Although saying all of that often means

it's probably a shit film.

This isn't a shit film.

It's a short film as well.

It doesn't like it's day, it's welcome.

It is essentially a series of silly sketches and scenes,

but there's a good plot to it that ties it all together.

And it's just, you know, I really like the plot.

Essentially, all of the monsters are gathering together,

a bit like in the monster squad.

And the goal is they wanna take Costello's brain

and put it in the Frankenstein monster,

'cause he's so thick and dumb that they figure--

- It probably works out.

Why don't you get a really intelligent person?

Why do you wanna--

- 'Cause Dracula wants a really--

- Dose-R.

- Malleables, Dose-R, slave, basically.

So you've got Dracula and you've got

Frankenstein's monster,

and then Wolfman is the one that's showing up going,

"Abba Costello, listen to me."

- We're getting to it, we're getting to it.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I just wanted to break down the basic part really,

which is like--

- I said, I was gonna watch this and stuff,

the podcast with the character Sarah,

and she's like, I'll probably,

she's not a fan of "Hoopy Halloween,"

which is fine, we'll get to that.

But she's like, I'll probably watch that either.

I don't think she'd really go towards this movie.

Not really for her, and I imagine there's a lot of people

out there who would be like, this is not for me.

I love it, but I was brought up with it.

- It's a cozy afternoon film, isn't it?

- Yeah, I think you gotta kind of be into the universal

films and be happy with a light, hot, slapstick,

but at the same time, in my notes,

I've got a point where I'm saying like,

if "Abba Costello" took out this film,

it's a straight film, it's a straight horror movie,

which is quite a good film actually,

'cause you did have the crossover movies.

- Yeah, and there's "House of Frank" and "Sky."

- "House of Frank" and "Sky."

- "House of Frank" and "Sky," which you--

- Yeah, "House of Dracula."

- That's got most of the crossovers in it.

- "Frank" and "Sky," versus "Wolfman."

You had all of those.

- This was one of the first to do it as well.

- Let's briefly give people a quick overview

of who "Abba Costello" are.

So Lou "Abba" and Bud "Costello,"

or the other way around.

They are first--

- In the "Shadow of Death,"

I thought of it as a watching movie earlier.

I did the line when someone says about "Ween,"

and he goes, "Oh, it's Bud, Bud Abbott."

And it is because of this film.

- Oh, that's right, Bud Abbott.

So yeah, Bud Abbott and "Lucostello,"

they got together and started working together

in the '40s, and were very popular on TV and on radio,

and they were the highest-paid entertainers

during the Second World War in the world.

Highest-paid entertainers during the Second World War.

- Wow.

- They became really popular,

and they were really well-loved.

And I think people love them

because they're a silly style, slapstick, humor,

which just took people's minds off

of what the hell was going on, you know?

- I watched "As a Child"

and being a demographic of a young child.

I loved it, and I imagine other kids would,

as well as the adults.

So they've got that whole appeal, all right, age range.

- They made, you know,

they started making movies in the '40s.

Like I said, they did some television stuff

and some radio stuff, but they started making their movies.

- It's a cool record of theirs, actually.

- Yeah, some records, people were buying it,

it's that kind of stuff, you know?

So they were everywhere,

and their movie career was doing all right,

and it wasn't until they made their first horror film,

or horror comedy, called "Hold That Ghost" in 1941

that people really started to take note of them,

and they thought, "Well, hang on a minute.

We both enjoyed doing that.

We liked the whole,"

'cause in a horror situation,

there's some good fun elements like Scooby-Doo,

you know, where the ghost is behind you,

and you're like, "Ooh, you can really ham it up," you know?

- In horror movies, you can play a lot more as an actor

than other genres, like a straight drama.

- And obviously, the way that these two are,

is that, you know, the Buds is,

sorry, Costello is always scared of everything and worried,

and then Buds's like, "Nah, there's nothing here.

There's no ghost here.

Come on, what are you talking about?"

So it always works really, really well.

Well, like I said, they made "Hold That Ghost" in 1941.

Then they made a couple of other ones,

and their biggest ones were obviously,

Albert Costello meets Frankenstein, this one.

Albert Costello meet the killer Boris Karloff in '49,

then they did Albert Costello meet the invisible man,

meet the mummy.

I think that was, they did Albert Costello go to Mars in 1953.

- There's a good one when I go to London,

and the police, the Wolfman's in the police,

which one's that, let me find it.

- Oh, is that the meet the killer Boris Karloff, isn't it?

Was that not that one?

- No, I'll look for it, you keep talking.

- But essentially, they had all these universal actors,

you know, coming to it, Lon Cheney Jr., Boris Karloff,

Vincent Price, popping up, well, it was great.

And weirdly, and Gavin and I were talking about this off air,

weirdly, universal kind of saved Albert Costello's careers,

because they were going on a bit of a decline,

but because they did these horror comedies,

particularly the universal crossovers,

that made everybody take notice of them,

and they got a lot more work for a few more years after that,

because of that.

Weirdly though, because obviously,

1931 is what kicked off the universal movies with Dracula,

they were on the decline at the same time as Albert Costello,

so they assumed, look, will we use Albert Costello

to really make ourselves popular again?

But sadly, people saw them as selling out a little bit,

and their serious horror movies that they'd done,

they were turning into silly, you know, comedies

by chucking in Albert Costello,

who were the popular actors at the time,

the popular comedians at the time,

and sadly, the last few movies they made

were all of those Albert Costello movies,

and the last movie they made was the third

creature from the Black Lagoon movie,

which flopped big time in 1956,

and Universal closed their doors.

So weirdly, these movies they made together,

Albert Costello and Universal, off the back of it,

Albert Costello did great,

their career blossomed even more,

and the Universal just were like,

you can't do it anymore, we're just closing our doors.

- Yeah. - So yeah.

There we go.

- But at the end of the day though,

everybody's got to have their fucking,

be like, cool, I've done my thing.

- Well, let's be honest,

guys, Universal went from 1931 to 1956,

so 25 years of horror they put out

in the early part of the century,

that's incredible.

- Like Blumhouse, you know,

they saw that they know that there's a market,

and you can work in that,

and it helped them, it brought them back,

the original Universal films,

brought them back from when they were dead,

as well as Universal, they were fucked.

- Universal changed, not just horror,

they changed film.

- I can't think what that film was, by the way.

I think it was. - They changed cinema,

and they changed horror as well.

- Really? Oh, of course, 'cause the inspiration

we'd have gone on to make so many other horror films

that people watched now. - 'Cause then when Hammer Studios

came out, they essentially remade a bunch

of the Universal ones, but put their own spin on it,

their own British spin on it,

and you know, it's just the way it goes, really,

but yeah, so without those early movies,

with Boris Karloff and everybody else,

Lon Cheney Jr. - Yeah.

- And that is where we're at.

That is where we're at, so that's who Abbott Costello,

well, that's what Universal's up to,

and we're here to discuss.

- Abbott Costello, meet Frankenstein.

Now, do you remember the first time you watched it?

- Uh, that's about 15, 20 years ago,

I can't really remember.

- Now, I felt, watching this film,

the same comparison for me as the Monster Squad,

as in how good the monsters look

as a combined effort in a film.

Monster Squad, the monsters in that look fucking so good.

You just like, we could have watched any,

we could have watched a real movie,

we just wanted to rail from this,

any of those monsters in that.

Same with this, all the monsters here look great.

- Yeah, Wolfman looks great.

- Very, very impressed.

I love the opening of this,

we started to open up on a foggy London sinister music place

as a classic werewolf Long Cheney Jr. is standing there,

and as soon as you see him, for me,

he is the quintessential classic old school black

and white American werewolf character,

is older Long Cheney Jr.

Plain Lawrence Talbot,

which is the classic Talbot from the original Wolfman family.

So it's basically reprising his role,

and I loved it for that reason.

Is that the same as Bella Legosi plays bloody Dracula,

and he's actually got Glenda Strange

playing the monster as well.

- Yeah, so they did really well to bring these guys back.

- And they all did it,

but I know at this point, Bella Legosi is probably,

in his fair share of having issues,

'cause I know dependency on drugs, things like that.

- But he does a great job of not looking too much older.

- He's good in this.

I actually thought he was really,

he does a great role of not acting too much,

and not acting enough, I think he did perfect.

- Considering he's in a comedy, and he's a very serious actor.

- Yeah, well, everybody's playing it straight.

Even Abba and Cassella are essentially playing it straight.

- And that's what makes this work.

- Yeah, that's what makes this work.

- Even though he is an idiot,

but it's like saying, "Shawna dead."

It's a comedy, but it's still playing straight.

- Yeah, and there's some great things with Bella Legosi,

where he does something very unusual,

which is he puts his cape over his nose and mouth,

and covers, so you only really see his eyes.

- What's that noise?

- And it looks great,

and I'm sure some of that was to cover up,

maybe the way he looked on set that day, and whatever.

- It is also a classic Dracula.

- But apparently, he was a real asshole on set, Bella Legosi.

- Well, let's go back to what I was just speaking about.

He was really saying, "We shouldn't be making fun

"of these characters.

"We shouldn't be doing that."

But he still took the money and made the film.

- Yeah, he's probably desperate to it.

Yeah, I can see.

He's coming back from,

"I was the one who brought fucking Universal back

"with Dracula." - Yeah, totally, totally.

- "I was the first one.

"I did this.

"I'm the fucking daddy.

"Look at me.

"We shouldn't be taking a piss out of this."

But at the same time, it's like,

"Yeah, but we've got to make some more money."

Studios are doing it for a reason as well.

They know there's a new market out there,

and you can't keep them the same all the time yet.

Have to have changed, don't you, Dan?

- You do.

And there is someone who we will mention right at the end

who has a little cameo as well, which is fucking awesome.

That has been surprise.

Just a voice cameo at the end,

does the invisible man, which is great

that he jumped on this as well.

I was like, "Yeah, hell yeah, I'll do that.

"I'll just say two or three lines at the end."

- Yeah, yeah, it just gives it a nice little bit of icing

on your cake at the end.

- It just makes it even like--

- The last bite is still quite nice.

- It gives you, 'cause the film ends,

and it's all silly and nice and happy,

but that makes you smile even more.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a little joke to it, yeah.

- The only thing that would have made me smile even more

is a rap song over the end credits

describing what the plot of the film is.

You know I always love that.

- But if Vincent Price in his kitchen

was mixing up a cake mix.

- Yeah, with Drew Barrymore.

- I know, mixing cake mix in the kitchen, you know, whatever.

- The werewolf man is truly bitchin'.

So he's trying to make his phone call

along with Cheney Jr. in his hotel room.

He's like, "What's going on here?"

And he tries to make a phone call.

"We cut to America and we meet Abbott and Costello."

If you don't know him already,

we soon do a side for the old Costello player,

Willeberg Ray, as long as Luke Costello,

the shorter of the two, shall we say?

- The stow two of the two.

- The shorter of the two.

And then you've got-- - He's a buffoon.

We essentially know he's a buffoon,

and his mate just basically takes just root him all the time.

- Just hates him.

He, actually, and I do like how Costello,

but I've always disliked Abbott

because I always feel sorry for Costello

because he's so mean to him.

He's like, "Come on, you fat, ugly loser.

"Let's get going."

- I was wondering if we were coming out of a depression.

I suppose we were sort of coming out of like,

I suppose World War II was still imminent.

Because when the dude comes to pick up it,

who owns the house or where it comes to pick up,

is just in quiet about his packages at the company,

he is fucking, he has not been laid for probably six,

seven years.

He is fucking angry, like, "Where are my packages?

"What the fuck?

"What is up with you?

"What's your deal?

"What's going on?"

You know.

- Yeah, that's Mr. McDougal.

- Mr. McDougal?

- So essentially, Mr. McDougal has

the House of Horrors exhibition opening.

And he has, had sent over to him,

Frankenstein's monster's body and Dracula's coffin,

which he hopes that Dracula's corpse is inside of,

to display within his House of Horrors.

What a mentalist.

What the fuck have you done, flown those over for?

If they're real, you're condemning everyone in the US

to pain, suffering and vampirism, because--

- It's just insanity, like, really?

Before we do get to that, we will get to that.

We find out that old Luke Stello,

there's a stout or a guy of the two, as we were saying,

has Sandra, who loves him,

but does not understand how he can have people fancy him.

He's like, "How does everyone fancy Luke?"

- Well, she is in, she's hot as well,

and she's so into him, and she's like,

"I love you so much."

And he's just like, he's like a cartoon character.

He's just like, as soon as she walks off, he spins around.

- He bumps his head.

She's like, "Oh, how are you?"

I'm sure he says, "My poor werewolf head."

It's a really weird thing, he says.

I've never understood what he says.

- He says, "My poor, weird-o-head, wittle."

- "My poor, weird-o-head."

- Thank you.

- And Bud just doesn't understand the love affection.

He's just like, "What's wrong with you?"

The whole time, pushing him in front of the daylight.

"I can't see, what can they see?"

- Bud's not got a girlfriend,

probably hasn't had one for a while.

- Bud hasn't got a girlfriend, 'cause Bud's a dick.

- Yeah, he's really annoyed, and Lou just goes to show,

"It doesn't matter what you look like,

"if you're a lovely guy, a sweet guy,

"and a very happy, positive guy, you'll get girls."

- But to be fair-- - Or boys, whatever you want.

- I reckon guaranteed,

women were rather happy with Lou than Bud.

"I'm not making love to you."

- Who would you rather go for a few beers with?

Lou or Bud?

- Lou.

- Yeah.

- Fuck. - Yeah, fun time.

- If you went out with Bud, you'd be sitting there with Bud,

not saying anything, saying, "Did you play darts?"

No, "Oh, it was dartboard there."

Then you'd be like, "What's Lou up to?"

"He can't come out."

All right.

- "Look, why does everybody want to be friends with Lou?"

"For God's sake, I don't understand what the attraction is."

- Then fucking McDougal would come in,

I'd be like, "Oh, God, McDougal's gonna sit with us now."

But yeah, no, so he doesn't understand

his love affection which is going on.

And I love the fact he says to him,

"Why don't you go check yourself out the mirror

"and Lou responds with,

"Why should I hurt my own feelings?"

- I know.

- Why do I want to hurt my own feelings?

- Well, this scene with them,

so they work in a hotel,

they're porters receiving packages,

and this scene really sets up

the kind of homidy we're gonna get,

which is a lot of slapstick suitcases falling on people's heads,

slipping on banana skins.

It's that Tom and Jerry, we know what we're in for,

and we go with it 'cause it was '48.

- The bit where he's standing on that big crate

going back and forwards,

is he in leg braces, really,

so it's stuck to the crate?

- I think he must have been, yeah.

- Because that's amazing.

- Yeah.

- It looks really, it's a really good stunt, actually.

I was really impressed.

- Guess who is gonna be in charge of

Frankenstein's monster's body

and Dracula's coffin with the corpus inside of it?

When those packages arrive, of course,

it's gonna be Bud and Lou.

- I know.

- I'm a big solo.

- Well, before we get to this,

so the phone call does eventually get through.

Doesn't it, too?

- Yes, and it's launch.

- And he's like, and they're like,

"Oh, this is a Greek collector,

"we take a call from London."

You gotta remember, ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls, this is performed by mobile phones.

This is before where we could just jump on

fucking Skype or whatever,

and make a call to someone in the world for free,

and look at them like Dan and I are right now.

This is when it cost a lot of money to make a phone call,

and you'd have to go through someone

who'd have their job sitting there,

going, "I'll patch you through, hang on,

"it might take a moment,"

and it would take a while for the phone it to go through.

And this is basically, back to London,

we've got Old Long chaining his hotel room,

frantically trying to make a phone call.

He makes a phone call, gets through to Lou,

he says, "I've viewed the guys

"who've got the packages going to the,

"the Wax Museum,"

'cause he's basically like, once, he's hunting,

essentially, he's Van Helsen, he's hunting Dracula,

because he knows Dracula's got the mummy,

Frank's mom, Frank's mom, Frank's mom,

Frank's mom's creation, his monster,

and Dracula's gonna use it, put a brain into it,

and I don't know, do some, do some havoc.

And he's like, "Right, I'm fucking,

"I'm taking over from Van Helsen."

- Well, he said he's been hunting him,

he's been tracking him for years.

- Yeah, it's cool.

- It's really cool.

- I would like to see that film.

I'd like to see a werewolf hunting Dracula.

- And he says to them frantically on the phone,

and obviously he's talking to bloody Lou,

who's just going, "Who, what, what are you talking about?"

And then he starts going, "Who, who, who, who, who?"

And he's like, "Is this the bit where he says,

"Have you put your dog on the phone?

"Why is your dog barking at me?"

- And he barks back to him.

- And he says, "God, it's a lot of,

"you're wasting a lot of money

"if you've hauled all the way from London,

"and you've decided to let me talk to your dog."

- He's just a growl at me, for God's sake.

- Yeah.

- But basically, he starts wolfing out.

The last thing he manages to say is,

"There's a full moon here in London tonight.

"I don't have long,

"because there'll be a full moon there soon as well."

And then he wolfs out and--

- It's the classic, basically, they do a still shot.

They apply more makeup, they do another still shot,

apply more makeup, and they put cross dissolves

over all the shots, so it just seamlessly,

slowly changes right in front of your eyes.

- And I do like the look of Lon Cheney Jr.

as the wolf man, I do like that look.

And that's it, so he, Costello's like,

"Oh, that was weird, this guy said,

"to look out for his two crates, that's weird."

And Bud's like, "Whatever, we've got loads to do,

"let's get going."

- And then we cut back to him,

and he just starts ripping the room up as well.

"Let me turn and cut back again."

And there's the very, very, very, very, very, very,

very, very, very, very angry McDougal.

- He is angry, well he's stressed

because his new exhibition is opening,

The Haunted House of Terror, what is it called?

- Stressed, that dude's having a heart attack

before he has any enjoyment in life.

- And he turns up, and he says,

"Well, I've had my packages arrived yet,

"I'm waiting on two huge packages,

"and if they break them, which I know YouTube

"of the food is probably real, if you break them,

"I will be suing you all, I'll have your jobs."

And he's like, "Hang on, whoa, whoa,

"we don't even know who the fuck you are, mate."

- "Stop taking Coke early in the mornings,

"like what the fuck?"

- Was there Coke in 1948?

- Probably.

- Oh, of course there was.

It's been Coke for, that's fucking old school cavemen

used to coke out on the floor.

- Coke out?

- Coke out cavemen, that's the movie I want to see.

- I want to see that, "Coke in Caveman."

It's the fucking "Coke in Bear," I want "Coke in Caveman."

Fight in a T-Rex.

- Come on!

- Wow, copyright.

- We have a fucking can of Stella.

(laughing)

- Why is he got a can of Stella?

- Look, time machine.

All they could do is to send one thing back

and they chose a can of Stella.

- Great, good job.

- Strong brew.

- So, the man arrives, like I said, for the crates

and the House of Horrors, blah, blah, blah.

So they take the crates to a duel's place.

The reason they take them there.

- Yeah, well, very quickly,

we have the info dump of what they are with,

we have Lou's love interest, again, at the desk,

and they just, "You know what I've got in there, Miss?"

Angrily says to the woman next to her,

she's like, "I have no idea what."

And he goes, "Drag it out in Frankenstein."

Like, what the fuck?

I'd be like, "Step away, step away.

You're dangerous."

- So he tells Sandra.

- He gives us an info dump, yeah.

- What they are.

And they've got to take the crates, basically.

They're just to, like, accept the crates,

deliver them to the place.

That's their job done.

- Well, the reason they have to take them there

is 'cause they cracked the woods a little bit,

and he wants them to unpack it

and make sure that there's nothing broken inside.

- He's already, I think he already rehearsed

these lines at home, 'cause he's like,

"And I'm gonna have an insurance person there

on the site to make sure that nothing happens."

And they can sit first hand.

So, wow, calm down.

- So we get that classic Scooby-Doo scene now of this.

- Oh, so very quickly, sorry to cut up,

we'll cut you in.

- So, the guy who speaks to the lady and gives the info dump,

he then does slip in there.

He says, "I was just pulled out of a name,

pulled out of a hat, out of thin air,

and the person rang me up, I got these dirt cheap, I did.

I don't know how they got all of me, sort of thing."

So, oh, so like Dracula, basically, he's rang him up.

- Yep.

- I am not Dracula.

Would you like to buy Dracula?

- I'm Dr. Acula.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause yeah,

like you're on Dracula, he's a doctor in this, isn't he?

- He's got a name in this, doesn't he?

- So I said it would be Dr. Acula.

- Yeah, or Dracula, but it's Alucard.

- But he is a doctor in this later, so it's got to be Acula.

- Yeah, he's called like Dr. Bob or something.

- So we know that, we know that,

and it's gonna go to this wax museum,

and that's where we're gonna be cutting to next.

- Yeah, so we get the classic Scooby-Doocy now,

there's lots of wax works of, you know,

hunchback and skeletons and things like that.

- It's straight away though,

as soon as we descend on the place,

it's all (whooshing)

(whooshing)

lightning and all this shit.

- And in the big Frady cat he is,

essentially he's Shaggy and Scooby combined.

Luke Ocelo is sort of like,

"Oh, what was that?

"What was this?

"What was that?"

And Bud's like, "For God's sake,

"we just gotta get these packages unpacked,

"and then get back,

"as soon as we get this done,

"as soon as we can get back to just the hotel

"and then have the evening off, come on, come on,

"let's get this done, let's get this done."

And he says, "Right, I'll go off and do this thing,

"and I'll leave you here to unpack Dracula's coffin."

- So it's like scared, he's not into it at all.

- So he's like, "Oh, God."

So he said, "What's that logo on there?

"What's Dracula's crest?"

- Yeah, and he goes over and he finds this little note thing,

just basically, literally what I saw last week

when I went to the Dracula experience at Whitby,

I forgot to say that actually,

really good, all based on the Bram Stoker movie,

which is quite cool.

Had some, the whale flies out at you,

but I was waiting for it to happen, it didn't happen,

it was really annoying.

- Oh.

- I know, as I worked around the corner,

it descended. - Did you say, where all?

- It never extended, I never had an extender,

it's just descender.

- Did you say, where a wolf?

- Where?

- There was, there was a wolf,

I can't remember, stop it, right.

- Yeah, he reads to the description of Dracula.

- He sits there by candlelight on a coffin,

just reading this whole thing about Dracula, what he is,

and it's like the perfect atmosphere,

and then all of a sudden,

(imitates a wolf growling)

- Yep, the coffin slightly opens,

a little hand comes out.

- And then he sometimes he stops

and sometimes looks up.

- And then he turns back and looks back,

and then it's shut again.

- It's very like, you could make a stage show of this,

a pantomime.

It's very like, ooh, it's behind you.

- And obviously, a couple of times,

Bud will pop back into scene and say, what's going on?

- 'Cause he's not screaming,

it's basically the boy cried wolf.

He's not screaming, I'm like, ah, get back in there,

get back in there now.

- And he'll run back in and he'll say,

what is it, and the coffin's empty.

And there's this great moment where Dracula

actually climbs out of the coffin fully.

- Yeah, and then pretends to be like a wax.

- And then he stands in the back like a wax,

where they look around and they're like,

the coffin's empty, I told you,

you were worried about nothing.

- And then he creeps back, he's just like,

Dracula's just like--

- He's just winding them up.

- He's just like, I'm just gonna go back again right now,

I'm not even gonna wait till later.

And it's like, did he plan this?

'Cause surely if everyone was there all of a sudden,

it opened up, was he just gonna

hypnotise everyone at once?

(imitates a wolf growling)

You know, what was the plan?

Now it's time to open the second crate.

Frankenstein's monster.

- Frankenstein's monster, which freaks him the fuck out,

and it wants to scream.

- I mean, the first thing they find is the face

sticking out of it.

- It would freak me out, yeah.

- Yeah, it would freak me out too.

So they see the face, it freaks him out.

But just as they start screaming,

and he says, oh, oh, this is too scary.

- What are you doing in the dark in there?

Angry McDougal turns up with the investigator

in the background, so,

look, Budzo, well, I'll go check him out,

stay here, don't move.

- And of course, this is where Dracula hypnotises

Costello, or Wilbur.

- Brings Frankenstein back with a (imitates a wolf growling)

electric to the--

- It's really great how he does that.

- To the little sockets to the side of the neck.

- That's really great.

I really feel like Monster Squad

took quite a lot from this, didn't it?

- Yeah, yeah.

- It's great, and that's not to not Monster Squad.

Monster Squad is an incredible film,

but I just didn't realise how much

they were in margeing films like this,

but it's great, good stuff.

- Monster Squad should be better than it is.

That's the problem with Monster Squad.

It should be better, it is okay,

even though it looks incredible,

and it's produced amazingly, it's only okay, really.

- There's a lot of issues with that film.

They didn't know how or who to market it to.

- I think, 'cause we've covered it.

- We have, but it also came out of the year--

- And I think that's what we came out with, yeah.

- It also came out of the year

when there were some incredible films,

and it came out, not Halloween.

It came out in the summer, I believe,

and people were just like, "What is this?"

It's done incredibly well since.

It was great on VHS, especially in the UK.

In fact, the UK is one of the biggest places,

it's done well.

- Say, the Disney Channel, if they just dropped that

on the Star bit on Disney, if they just dropped that

on there, everyone'd be fucking loving it, wouldn't they?

- Yeah, yeah, totally.

But then they'd end up making a fucking series of it now.

- Then there'd be a remake,

and then a TV series, and then the universe.

- Well, Frankenstein wakes up, or his monster wakes up,

and he says, "By the way, guys, for the sake of this review,

I'll probably just call in Frank or Frankenstein,

'cause I know he's not Frankenstein, he's the monster."

But he wakes up and he says, "Master!"

So Dracula and Frank leave.

What's quite funny here, and a bit rude, really,

is that Frankenstein jumps when he sees Wilbur,

'cause he's afraid of Wilbur,

which is so, basically, he's chubby and ugly, and it's me.

- No, it's 'cause it's an actual human, so he's afraid.

- Well, he kind of jumps you as well.

- I think he's afraid of humans, though, really.

- But Dracula's like, "Don't worry about that."

- So the investigator comes in, and then all of a sudden,

they check the bottom, there's no craze,

and old Bud's like, "Well, yeah, but there was none.

We were here, we opened them up, there's nothing here."

And he's just like, "Right, that's it."

We get it, and the insurance guy's like,

"Well, we're not gonna pay out until there's

a proper investigation."

He's like, "Right, that's it, we're going to the cops."

And it's a bit like, "Hang on, look around.

What have they done with the bodies?

What do they want to do with Dracula and Frankenstein's body?"

He's gonna go, "You're gonna sell 'em to someone else

'cause they'll go off a lot of money."

But it's just, why didn't you follow them with you

the whole time?

I don't know, the guy's just such a dick.

- And while a lot of this goes on, Wilbur is stood there

like a statue because he's been hypnotized or mesmerized.

- Oh, Dracula, but he comes around in the end

and he's like, "Oh, I don't know what happened there.

I don't know what happened there."

Anyway, then we see quite a good effect

of a bat flying towards a castle.

It goes to the window of a laboratory in there.

And it's quite good sort of cartoon-y effects.

- It's the animated bat, isn't it?

- We didn't actually talk about the animated intro,

did we?

- Yeah, there's a lot of animation in this film.

So there's an animated intro, which kind of straight away,

that does give it an appeal to children.

- Yeah, and a lot of the carry-on movies

had like an animated intro, didn't they?

- And that wasn't definitely supposed to be for children.

- Or the Pink Panther movies.

And that's again, something like this

would have influenced the Pink Panther movies, you know?

- That always confused me as a kid,

'cause I'd want the cartoon and I'd be like,

"What's this strange French man doing with falling

downstairs?"

- Why is he fighting this Chinese guy?

- I've got the butt up at Sarah's on my side,

the bed I've got like a little cupboard,

a little chest of drawers things next to me.

And I've got it in my box set of Inspector Poso.

And I'm saying, "Come on, we can watch from one day

"and then just never get round to it."

'Cause she's not seen him.

- Some of them are good, some of them are not.

- So it's an animated bat, but it's how they do it,

basically, they do a bit of animation to it.

And the bat's looking in the window

for us to so we know what's going on.

And there's a lab.

- Yes.

- And there's castles.

It's very classic Frankensteins, really, isn't it?

And then the animated bat changes to Dracula.

And it kind of had a like a creep show vibe

where they'd go in and out of episodes,

stories on creep show.

- That's true.

Well, who lets Dracula in, Gav?

- Well, very quickly, I did think,

pretty good way to travel if you're a vampire is bat.

- Well, you've got it easy.

If you're a Dracula, especially,

you can transform into mist.

You can be a wolf, you can be a bat.

- What happens though, if you're flying along

a bird of prey eagle, let's say, comes down, grabs you.

Do you turn into Dracula?

So you're like a full massive person just there.

And they're like, what the fuck?

And they drop you.

- Sorry?

- What do you do to get out of it?

Do you turn into mist?

Do you turn into a wolf?

What do you do?

- I would bite it.

A stare's a bat and I'd bite it.

- Yeah, but if you can't get your neck round,

'cause they've got their claws on you, you're fucked.

You've got to change.

- Bite it on the leg.

- No, you've got to change.

I think.

- You've answered your own question there then.

- Oh, right.

Well, I needed you to help me do get to that conclusion.

- For any of our vampire listeners,

if you're a bat--

- I don't even need you to know that, or for that.

- And a bird of prey grabs you,

please transform back to your human form or under.

- But then, gotta be quick getting back again.

I want you to form your flat to the floor.

- Yeah, but you're Dracula.

He'll always land on your feet.

You're turning into you mist, turning into a wolf.

- As a cat, I suppose.

- No, the interesting thing here is that

Dracula is let into the laboratory by Sandra.

- A lady called Sandra.

- Who is, this is Costello's lady, friend.

- Oh, I smell a rat.

- This is interesting, isn't it?

- Mm-hmm.

- So she's been experimenting with him.

They plan--

- Yeah, 'cause Bella's there.

As Dracula's there as his human form.

So it's called him Bella.

- And their plan is she's gone out

and she's snagged this old silly tubby fool

that she's then gonna--

I've got the most stupid person ever.

We're gonna put his brain in Frankenstein's monster,

Dracula.

- Now we know.

- Dracula's like, good, good.

This is very good. - Now we know what's going on.

- Yeah.

Yeah, so this makes us feel even more sorry for Costello

because we thought, oh, this guy's done great.

He's got this hot girlfriend.

- And it's how rude.

- Yeah, she just wants his brain to take it out.

So she wants him dead.

And she's working with, does she know it's Dracula?

Or does she just think he's a professor?

So I think she just thinks he's a professor, doesn't she?

- I don't know, 'cause she's, we're assuming that she

and the guy that who's at the castle as well,

Danverska, are both into bringing back the dead.

- I think Dracula's lied to them about--

- Probably.

- Who he is and some of the plan.

But they're certainly like on board for--

- But they know it's actually Frankenstein's monster.

- Yeah, they're on board for brain removal.

- Do you think it's like the dark web?

They somehow got hold of it.

How did they get hold of each other?

- The dark telegrams.

- The dark pigeon.

- Yeah.

Well-- - That'd be the Blumhouse's next movie.

- Who should show up in the next scene?

- The dark pigeon.

- But Wolfman Talbot.

And he says, right, listen, whatever you do,

do not open the crates, okay?

I've been following Dracula and Frankenstein's

monster from Europe.

You mustn't open the crates.

And they're like, ah.

He's always just turning up.

I love the fact that when they finally go to this castle

on an island to pick up one of the girls,

'cause that's where she lives,

straight away like that's the sketches it is.

But when they're there, they're just there,

stand there, the phone rings.

It's Larry again later on.

You're like, fuck, they must be like,

there's not that many phones in the whole place.

How come, what is it you?

How are you here?

- Well, he checks in, Talbot checks into the hotel

that they live in and work in.

- Gives them an infant, I'm telling you,

there's nothing going on.

- Yeah, I've been following them, blah, blah, blah.

- He gets it wrong, opposite them.

- Yeah, he says, I need you.

There's a full room tonight.

You've got to lock me in my room tonight.

And no matter what you hear, no matter how distressing

the sounds might be, do not, whatever you do,

do not open the door.

Castello's like, yeah, sure, I'll do that if that's what you want,

whatever your insuring thing.

So he locks him in and then he thinks, oh, bloody hell,

he needs to take his bag back into it.

- It's like a classic slapstick.

- Classic.

It's almost like that Indiana Jones bit

where he's gonna go back in and speak to Marion.

But then that guy starts strangling him.

It's just, there's something about it

that's very classic slapstick.

So he unlocks the door, he goes back in.

- He goes in, he goes, oh, where is he?

I can't find him, even though there is a bathroom.

- He says, how did he get out of this whole apartment?

- Well, it's, yeah, you basically got like a living room,

a bedroom and a toilet.

It's a very big, very expensive hotel, I'm sure.

- He's been getting, well,

he's walking out of the bathroom, isn't he?

- Yeah, and I don't know why he didn't assume

that he could be in the bathroom.

And I don't know why he just didn't open the door

when he couldn't knock and put a bag there

and then just shut the door.

I don't know why he had to go wandering in.

- He's having a sleeper right?

- What if the dude's there fully naked with a full-on boner?

- What if he's doing that thing in the cupboard

where he's strangling himself with a bit of, you know?

It only in 10 seconds,

but I'm sure he could get going if he had to turn that time.

- Yep.

Well, he goes to leave.

- But he's already turned.

- He's already a wolf man.

And he doesn't know that the wolf man's behind him

every step of the way. - Except, well, he's in one room

and the bathroom door sort of opens up onto him

and he's just standing there and he goes,

I wonder how he could have gone out?

Oh, leave him a note.

And I love the fact that whenever the wolf man's there,

the wolf man jumps.

If that wolf man doesn't know if he pounces like a cat,

it's just really bad timing.

The wolf man has the worst timing ever.

It's like, right, I'm gonna pounce now.

I'm gonna pounce now.

- Where is this superhuman agility?

- He'll pounce now and the music goes at the same time

a clarinet will play as he pounces.

And then they say, oh, I missed him.

- That was a good wolf man clarinet man.

- You're the craziest werewolf.

Yeah, thank you.

- And then he goes to leave,

because they're low and they're just as easy.

He thinks, oh, he's got some tasty looking oranges there.

I might take one of these.

- And he gets out.

He gets out and he's like, oh.

And then he stops and he goes.

- He might have counted them.

- I might, I'll take it back in.

- Why would the person have counted them in his hotel room?

- And you think don't go back in there.

And then he goes to go back in,

but then he doesn't, but then he doesn't,

but then he doesn't in the end.

Then he goes back to his hotel room.

Thank goodness for that.

- Then I start thinking,

what does a werewolf actually intend on doing

when they're locked in?

Yeah, it's always a classic with a werewolf.

Lock me up.

I'm just gonna be here.

Sometimes it's all right if you chain,

like handcuff me up to this pipe down in the basement,

like, you know, which we've seen before,

but the hotel room or Maricarell for London,

his idea is staying in the apartment sort of thing.

What's nice, he didn't know he was to go

turn into a werewolf actually.

But what is the idea?

What do you think he's gonna do?

Is he gonna curl up and have a little sleep?

Is he gonna poop in the toilet?

Probably not.

He's probably gonna poop all over the place.

He's a werewolf.

I just wonder what's actually gonna happen

if you're like a fly on a wall watching.

- Probably just gonna,

the main thing is he's not gonna go out and eat anybody.

- We do see what happens.

He does kind of trash the room.

So I'm sure that's what happens

when you're a werewolf locked in a room.

- Well, Wilbur continues messing about and telling,

but like, look, listen,

I definitely saw something in that museum

in that, you know, a place in those crates.

I saw the Frankenstein monster.

I saw Dracula.

Obviously he doesn't believe where he says,

'cause he's, you know, the slapstick comedy.

Doesn't believe us, anything that he's telling him.

He's like, well, what's it with it?

Whatever you think.

I don't care, 'cause I know what I saw.

That's the, I think he's saying is,

I saw what I saw, but I saw as what I saw.

And I know what I saw.

He says something like that, you know,

the classic sort of line.

Sandra.

- How did I get arrested?

- Uh...

- I don't have it in my nose.

- I think you were jumping ahead.

Can we just...

- Oh, okay.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe it's in my notes as we go through.

But Sandra checks in with Robert and says, you know,

are you still coming on this date with me?

And he's like, well, of course, you're my girl.

You're the only girl for me.

Don't worry about it until Joan shows up.

And she, oh, that's right.

Joan bails them out of jail.

You're right.

How did they end up in jail?

I can't remember how they...

- Because, no, they fucked it up, haven't they?

They would have, this should have been after they

caught off by the Mr. Angry McDougal.

He caught us off saying the police.

That must have been them arrested.

But we've got a scene of them at the hotel room

with Lawrence Talbot explaining what's going on.

And they're not in prison.

- Oh, yeah.

- So they fucked up.

- Yeah, they got the scenes around the wrong way, perhaps.

- So I am following the story with you, my friend.

I wasn't jumping ahead.

- No, no, that's fine.

You're right. - They've just, they've missed it.

- Well, this new mystery lady, Jane,

she shows up and she bails them out of jail.

- Yeah, and we find out who she is, don't we?

- And she instantly says to Wilbur,

you're the most handsome man I've ever seen.

I think I want you.

- Bud's just like...

- Bud's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

what the fuck is going on here?

You've got two hot women after you know?

- I love the fact Bud's name's Chick.

- Yeah, I know.

And the funniest thing is, is that this being 1948,

there's no chivalry.

So Lou's just like, oh well,

I've got to take both of them, I suppose.

- It, it, well...

- He's not going to pick between him, he's having them both.

- I find it amusing, he opens up the door

and just shuts his eyes,

because he thinks Sandra's there to give him a kiss,

and he goes, mm-hmm.

And it's basically, this other lady steps in to kiss him,

so Bud's just letting him go,

what the fuck's going on with you?

Why do you, and that's where he pulls him to the window

and says, let me look at you in the light.

Is there something they say, I don't see?

You know, it's like, just let him be.

But yeah, it-- - Chick is extremely jealous.

- And she's like, oh, do you believe in love at first sight?

I'm in love with you, basically.

Right, tonight then, what have you got?

I'm going to go get some change,

and then meet me in the lobby and we go.

And he's just like, yeah, no worries, hang on.

You just jumped into like,

at least a three or four month relationship line nine there.

How, you've just met.

- Well, he's also reminded that the party that he's taken her to

is also the same party's taken-- - I think she is hotter

than Sandra though.

- Well, he's also reminded that the party that he's taken her to

is also the party he's taken Sandra to.

So he's going to take the both brazenly,

taking both girls at the same time.

- I don't think he's fought this through.

He's got his mates there, he's going to be like,

"Well, I'm a complete Gooseberry,

'cause you've got two women."

And he just takes her along. - He keeps saying to him--

- He goes to the pick up Sandra and takes her along.

"Oh, we've got to go pick up Bud's date.

"We're picking up Bud's date."

- He keeps saying to Lou though, Bud keeps saying,

"Let me just have one of them.

"Go on, I don't care which one of them.

"Please, just one of the girls.

"You've got two, let me have one, just one."

And even gives him, later on, he gives them a scenario.

He says, "Let's just say that there's a third girl out there."

- If there's three of them, why don't they get them called Mary?

And he says, "If you can have Mary."

- Yeah, he says, "You can have Mary."

Why? 'Cause she doesn't exist.

Oh, brilliant.

So anyway, they pop back in to check on Talbot

the morning after the full moon.

This is where we find out his room is trash.

- Yeah, 'cause they go, "Oh, we forgot about Talbot."

At that point, I was like, "Yeah, I've forgotten about Talbot too."

And I love the fact that you guys arrested somehow,

snuck out, stuck back in the hotel room.

Weird.

I can't believe I didn't realise that.

I'm quite shocked by that.

- Talbot calls the lab and he says that,

"I think you guys are literally,"

because they pick up, they're in the laboratory.

They're there to pick up the girl.

And he says, "I think you guys are literally

"in the house of Dracula right now.

"I believe that the scientist you're talking about

"is actually Dracula himself."

And now he doesn't say that until the phone call.

He says, "You're in the house of Dracula."

- Yeah, that's the bit I was talking about.

I just said he phones them up.

- No, no.

They're at that, they've gone to the island to pick up.

- No, no, 'cause he explains that he's aware of now

in the hotel room.

They've trashed the hotel room and they find him there.

But he doesn't say it until the phone call later on

that evening, he rings up and says,

"You're in the house of Dracula.

"You're in the house of the monster.

"I need you to go find him."

- And he reveals what the plan is.

- He does then, yeah.

But that's like--

- He says Dracula's plan is a brain, blah, blah, blah.

He says, "So what I need you to do,

"snoop around in the lab."

- Yeah, so--

- So you can find out.

- I like it.

They get this dock for this castle.

I do like it.

It's very eerie and stuff, but they get there.

Do you see the size of the knocker on the door?

- Nice, knockers!

- Yeah, it was like, I would say a steering wheel.

Boom, boom!

I was like, whoa!

- Again, you know. - It was a good big knocker.

- Again, young Frankenstein, definitely.

You know, there's some bits from that

taken from this as well.

What I will say, sorry, just to interrupt,

at this point, from this point out,

and probably the whole movie, really,

the set design is incredible,

but from this point out--

- Yeah, the cast is great.

- The island, the castle, the laboratory,

the secret doors and spinning balls.

- That's why in this game,

you play super good horror movie.

You take Abbot and Castella out of it,

you can make like a good horror movie.

- And again, you can see where Hannah Barbera

got their Scooby Doo stuff from this kind of stuff

with spinning round balls.

- Well, they would have grown up on these.

- Yeah, yeah, totally, man.

It's so good.

- So Sandra's now being picked up, basically,

and they got the investigator lady there,

whatever her name is.

She's there now, so they meet each other,

and they just go, "Let's go powder our noses."

And they just go wandering off like they've known each other.

And it's like, at some point,

one of you must go like, "Oh, yeah, that's my date.

"Hang on, that's my date."

And how does he get out of it?

It's like, you are like your Tom Cruise.

- More like Tom Selleck.

- Oh, Tom Selleck.

- Yeah, it's--

- And that's when you get the phone call,

and that's when Talbot says--

- That's right.

- And they're just like, "Oh, it's Ted."

He goes, "Who is this?"

And he says, "Oh, it's me, it's Wilbur Gray."

And he says, "I thought I recognized your voice.

"What a coincidence.

"Surely this must be shocking."

- Every time I pick up a fucking phone,

I've got all the fun on the other end.

- Every time, you're there on the phone.

Everywhere I go, I go over water every time.

And yeah, over the seas, England to America.

Now I'm over in a castle from land on an island,

and it's still fucking phoning me.

- So they sneak around, they find a secret lab

through a secret-- - Trapdoor.

- Trapdoor thing downstairs.

They get separated--

- It looks so good, though, that whole staircase

next to the dock.

Yeah, well that wall that spins round.

And then, of course, Wilbur is through the spinning door,

and he's on his own, and he doesn't see what's behind him.

And what's that behind him, Garth?

- It's the old Frankenstein's monster

just sitting in a chair, and he just stumbles back

and sits on the chairs.

He's sitting in his lap like Father Christmas.

- But the way he does this--

- Frankenstein, Christmas.

- The way he does this with no words--

- Father Frankenstein.

- Listen, the way he does this with no words or any--

it's all done through silent comedy.

He looks down at the giant hand, then he looks at his hand,

then he looks back at the hand, then he slaps his own hand,

then he slaps the Frankenstein hand,

and he starts figuring out, this isn't my hand.

Then he realizes, I'm sat on something very big

that's got a very big hand.

It's just so funny, done so well.

His reactions are occasionally a bit annoying,

but I really, I love Lucas Dello,

so I will always, whenever he reacts to something,

is the little way that he does, I love it.

- What I do like about this is I've had it,

if we were to cut back just to like this hallway

in his house, we're just like in a hallway

in what was very elegant house at the castle,

it's a bit, not the average,

but it's just normality sort of, you're just there.

Really though, they're fucking in some dungeon somewhere

and a trapped door next to a moat with monsters and shit,

where they should just been waiting upstairs still,

so the rest of the household must be assuming

that they're still just there.

You know.

- And what poor Costello doesn't realize is

that the further he stumbles into this laboratory,

the closer he is to the place where his brain is planning

to be removed by everybody that's there.

So he doesn't realize he's actually getting closer

and closer to the place that his brain's

gonna potentially be taken out.

- He stands on the trapped door

and it spins around to him outside

and is fucking dragging up top the steps

as Frank Steins wants to down the bottom steps,

getting a boat ready or something like he's

and they knew some sort of fucking sailor,

Seaman Frankenstein.

And he's just like, "Oh, where do I go? Oh my God."

And then it spins back around back into the thing again.

And it's just like, "What the fuck?"

He's just staying the lobby.

It's a lot safer.

- It's a very funny scene now with a lot

of the rooms spinning round.

- Oh yeah.

- And bird up, it doesn't quite see the monsters.

- Again, it's a more elaborate and extended version

of what we saw in the wax museum.

- Yeah, and it works very well.

- It's very visual stuff and works really well.

- But then, so we go back to where they were originally

and they're just literally back to nothing happened.

Oh my God, you were just fighting

pretty strong monsters from books.

Like, "What the fuck?"

- And by the time they've done all of this,

they've been gone for ages.

The girls are just still freshening up.

- They have powdered, I reckon, cocaine their noses

if they're powdered.

- That's what they mean by powdered.

- I think so.

And I love the fact that then they're back there,

and then Dracula now, Albella, he's now just Dr. Acula

'cause he comes down as just a doctor.

Hello, I'm not a doctor, I don't know what that is.

Comes down as a doctor.

- Hello, I'm Dr. Dre.

- Dr. Acula, hello.

Just as normal one.

But then the ladies just start, "I need to talk to you.

"I can't do this.

"I can't go on a date with him."

That other woman is a private investigator

from an insurance company.

She is bad trouble.

We can't do this now.

We're gonna get caught.

It's all fucked.

- Drac is like, "Fuck you.

"I've got fucking magic eyes.

"And I look at you with my fucking magic eyes.

"I'm gonna make you do whatever I fucking like.

"All right, love.

"Get out there and get all that fucking thing."

- Well, the lady, one of them is Pip Fiennes

Frankenstein's book all about,

and realizes the full extent of the plan.

That's why, so the women immediately

become incredibly suspicious of each other

and where they all are in this plan.

But like you say, Drac, Drac, sort of sort of like

with one little look of his hypnotizing eyes.

- Drac, it's his cool name, isn't it?

- Drac. - That's his new street name

of the kids. - Drac.

Drac's back.

- Drac, Drac's back.

MC Drac.

- Funny enough, later on when he's standing there

mixing up stuff, I actually put down DJ Dracula.

I wonder what it'd be like as a DJ.

Hello everybody, look into my eyes.

Come on, get down, get down.

- Well, Dracula shows up in a full-on smoking jacket.

- Chilling.

- Just hanging like fucking Hugh Hefner.

And he meets Wilbur and Chick properly

and he's like, "Hello, welcome, welcome.

"It's so nice to have you at this little gathering

"I'm having."

And what we realize is that Wilbur is still

a little bit under his spell 'cause he's sort of like,

"Oh, you're a very handsome fellow.

"You're very nice, it's really lovely to see you.

"I'm really pleased to be here."

And they're like, "Anyone that's been under his spell

"is immediately kind of like enamoured with Dracula."

Do you know what I mean?

- Is this what, is this in the hallway there?

Or is this later on at the party?

- This is at the party.

- Oh, at the party, he pretty much turns up as Drac.

- He does though.

It's a fast-gest party and he turns up as Dracula.

- Sorry, this is before the party.

This is when he just finished making Dracula.

- Yeah, it's when he comes up, it's just Doctor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- And we realize that Sandra's also under his spell.

- That's when she, yeah.

- And he sucks her blood.

This is the first kind of like,

horror type thing we've really seen really in this now.

She's stuck, but you don't see it of course,

but he sucks her blood.

So everyone starts arriving at the party.

- And Dracula turns up as Dracula.

- Oh, you look fantastic.

Oh, thank you very much.

I've come as Dracula.

Oh, that's good, isn't it?

- It's cheap as shit.

- Wilbur and Chick, they meet up with Talbot.

- Why didn't Dracula, I was like,

then standing there, I just cut to,

there's a camera pan to Dracula, standing there,

and he's in a fucking werewolf costume.

I'm a werewolf.

That's fucking amazing, isn't it?

And she'd be looking at him saying,

"Why didn't you just come as Dracula?

"You play it well.

"You are actually Dracula.

"No, I'm a werewolf."

- Well, that's because,

but Abbott is got a werewolf mask, hasn't he?

- He does, and dressed in the same.

- And this causes some confusion.

- Exactly the same.

Him and Talbot are in the same slacks and shirt.

- Yeah, and even in black and white,

you can tell they're wearing exactly the same costumes

by chance, so do you.

- Gantino's in some fucking brown or shirt or something.

- What's gonna happen here, then?

There's gonna be a mix up.

So they get into costume these two.

- Well, Larry especially gets into old old Larry

and Lawrence Talbot, especially does,

'cause he turns into the werewolf.

- Indeed, indeed.

Well, that's just a moment.

So Dracula arrives with Sandra,

who's like, "Yes, master."

Tells them that the doctor is Dracula.

- The Dracula.

- The Dracula.

- The Dracula is in.

- That man over there isn't a doctor.

He's a kind Dracula.

No one seems to believe him, of course.

And Sandra then says she wants to drink Wilbur's blood.

So she hypnotizes him.

So she's got some vampire powers as well.

But thankfully, Chick interrupts,

and they all end up on a bit of a walk in the woods

and get a bit lost.

They're all looking for Joan,

'cause Joan's gone missing.

And this is where Talbot sees the moon

and sort of goes, (gurgling)

wolfs that again.

So we get quite a lot of wolfing out in this,

which I like.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- It's like his third transformation.

And he sort of falls over and wakes up

as a wolf man under a log and gets up.

Then of course, you know, he looks exactly like

but Albert in costume,

and he's got his Halloween costume on,

which causes a lot of confusion.

- It does.

It turns into like almost a crowd after them now.

It turns into like a witch hunt type four thing going on,

which is very reminiscent of the original Frankenstein,

I suppose.

- And of course, your friend, Mr. McDougal, is bitten

by a wolf man. - Mr. McDougal is bitten,

and then they find him and it's a buttock,

but find him, "You all right?

I think you've been bitten."

And those people crowd around at the party,

"You okay?"

He's like, "I think I've been bitten."

He says, "You're lucky.

A little bit more now, Juggler, you've been done for."

Someone says to him, and he's like,

"Someone bit me in a rare wolf mask or wolf mask."

And looks up and says, "It was you!"

To an old old buttock.

And then he even-- - And then Lou pops up

and just says, "What are you doing, chick?

You're trying to take a bite out of me."

But then the angry guy, McDougal, says,

"Don't listen to him!"

"No, no, do listen to him,

'cause he's telling you he's helping you.

Don't listen to him, he's in on it."

And then they run off and it turns into a silver bullet,

witch hunt, and it's the drunken fucking people

in the bar with their shotguns and the peacemaker

going after the werewolf, essentially.

- Yep.

And obviously we've got a real werewolf

out in the woods running around as well.

- Yes, both in the same comical clothing.

So the party goers chase them through the woods,

Dracula chases Wilbur, he turns back into a bat

and he's chasing Wilbur through the woods as well.

Chick faints when Dracula--

So he finally, but Abbot, finally sees supernatural evidence

because he sees Dracula turn from a bat back into Dracula

in front of his very eyes.

What does he do?

He faints.

- Yeah.

- He passes out, which I probably would,

to be honest with you as well.

- The foggy swamps are well good.

- Yes, it's all fantastic.

- Really good.

- And they probably just use all the leftover universal sets.

But why not if you've got all that stuff?

Those Frankenstein castles,

the Drunkenic castles are incredible.

- So it's the next morning,

Luzbin's taken away, basically kidnaps essentially,

and Bud's just wandering around and Old Talbot sees him

and says, "Come over here!"

And into the bushes.

And that's when they still got the search party

with really angry McDougal joined with a gun now,

hunting them down.

Like, it's like, you guys are just so gnarly.

All night, all of you have just been hunting down

these people, supposedly bit this person.

Like, get the cops involved.

Like, this seems an angrier lot of people.

- Well, we've got the dream team now of Bud Abba

and Long Cheney Jr. teaming up to go on the rescue mission.

And they're gonna go and rescue Joan.

- The dream team.

- They're gonna rescue Joan and Wilbur

from where he's going. - They're dressed the same.

- They're dressed the same.

So they're a little team.

You know, they're gonna go in there, they're gonna do it.

- Costello's in a fucking stock,

the actual stock's like with his hand,

hands through and his head through.

And I'd slam down. - So funny.

- And Sandra is pretty much in one as well.

And Frankenstein's just there, just like,

"Ugh, Dike's just waiting for his little electric shot

to get him going."

- Yeah, and really, this is where Wilbur realizes

and is told what's gonna happen,

which is, "We're gonna take your brain out."

She says to him, "You won't be small and tubby anymore,

but very tall and strong."

And I, "Great, thanks for that."

- I know, and he really, really realizes,

"Oh, shit, this is not gonna be good for me, is it really?"

- It's like this whole time,

I thought you wanted some dick,

some action for me, yeah.

- You just wanted my brain.

- It's like you wanted the brains,

the only organ thing you needed.

It's a brain and organ?

- Yeah, oh, it's a brain.

I don't know if it would be.

- Yeah, I think it is.

- Okay.

- Where are we at?

Oh yeah, so they managed to help Wilbur escape.

There's a whole scene here where we, you know.

- This is where I thought with DJ Drake,

'cause you got to cut to Drake,

and they're out of the controls, just doing some shit.

It's like, "Oh, Drake is doing some shit."

- This next song's got a lot of bite to it.

- Ha ha!

Now dance!

- All of you. - Look at my eyes and dance!

- I want to get your blood pumping!

- Get down tonight, come on!

- This next song will drive you bad!

Ha ha!

Oh, that'd be amazing.

They want to see DJ Drake Dracula.

So yeah, they, we're coming towards the end really here.

Talbot will, so.

- I got to say, at this point here,

I think the film could have probably cut down

maybe five, 10 minutes, just cut.

It seemed to be a bit like,

"Oh, we're kind of just going along a bit."

- They're running backwards and forwards, aren't they?

Doing the same things. - It's a bit.

Yeah, I did think-- - Essentially though--

- I never saw that before,

but 'cause we were reviewing it, I sort of noticed that.

- Well, essentially though, they fight Dracula

at Frankenstein Bus Loose, so he's, you know,

then they've got to try and fight him off.

Dracula fights a wolf man. - There's a fight,

and an older loo still strapped to a bed,

and he's basically like ping pong or tennis

going back and forwards with Dracula and a wolf man

using him as a ball. - That's hilarious.

- Back and forwards, he's on table going,

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

- He's not spitting round,

and I was looking at that stunt thinking,

"You must have been sick after that take."

- I thought it was quite good though.

- Because he's back around so much.

- But imagine, like, when you go to bed that night,

what did I do today?

I had Dracula and a wolf man use me

as like a huge table tennis, like,

bat and ball, on a table.

It was a weird thing. - He does get back

and forwards quite a lot.

- That's what I did today in my life.

- Wilbur does a great thing where he pretends

to be Dracula, so--

- Oh, it's a Frankenstein.

- Yeah. - 'Cause they're stuck.

They're running from one room to the next.

Every room they go into, there's more shit going on.

- They're secret passageways. - All the zombie

like wolf man and Dracula smash through a door

in front of you.

What the fuck? - But that makes me laugh so much,

'cause although it is quite same here,

it's like, "Right, we're in this room now,"

and then suddenly, literally, the wolf will smash through it.

It's either Frankenstein,

or all the wolf man, prison, Dracula's fight.

- Or all the wolf man, prison, Dracula's fight.

- And you just want to.

It's basically Friday night after the pub.

Don't get involved with those two piss-heads having a fight.

Stay well away, but everywhere you go,

the piss-heads seem to get nearer.

No, I'm trying to get away from you.

It's that. - Oh, Frankenstein

smashes through the wall.

It's so funny. - Yeah.

- There's a great shot here where--

- I was gonna say, when Lou pulls the sheet

off the table and everything stays there,

and he breaks it full-four and looks up the camera,

and he goes, "Huh?"

And then it runs off.

- But there's a shot that they left in where Frankenstein,

so Glenn Strange, punches through the door,

and his fist is supposed to go between Aberdeenstelo,

who's on the other side of the door.

But Lou said his line a little bit too early

and moved his head forward,

and he actually gets punched in the face

four-pelt by Glenn Strange.

But he kept going and said his next line,

and after they called cut, he was a bit dizzy,

but they left it in, and it's like a really funny scene now

where he gets punched through the door.

- I didn't know that.

- Yeah, he was supposed to not get hit.

It was supposed to just punch straight through the door

between their faces, but Lou Costello moved forward,

and like the champion he is, he carried on with the scene,

even though he took a massive fist to the face

of Frankenstein, so that was pretty funny.

- I dig it, I dig it.

We get back out onto the docks, they do get down there,

and at this point they run past McDougal,

who's finally happy, he's probably got,

"I've been so angry all day, I haven't slept,

"I've basically been hunting the person,

"you guys, who delivered the package,

"because I'm hunting you down,

"because I hate you so much, because I don't know why."

And they're just like, "You wanted your monsters, yeah?"

He's like, "Yes, because there they are."

I love it, he looks up and like,

the monsters, Frankenstein's monsters, walking towards him.

Then a complete opposite, doesn't even look like him,

stunt double, jumps in the water,

because I watched a high definition copy of this.

I watched a high definition,

he comes out of the water,

and he just goes, "That's not him."

- Yeah, no, you're right, it just doesn't look

like anything like him. - And then the same caness,

I always remembered, because I've just,

I don't know what it is in my brain,

I noticed these things, and I always noticed as a kid,

I was like, "That's the same line," said over and over,

and he says, "Untight the bolt."

Then there's that same phrasing, "Untight the bolt."

- Yeah, I've noticed that before.

- Then he says a little bit more, "Come on, untight the bolt."

Then he says, "Would you come on and untight the bolt?"

So they had the smallest bit, repeated it,

then they extended it a bit more from the original line,

then they extended it and said the full line.

And his mouth-- - Yeah, I find that quite annoying.

- His mouth, yeah, 'cause they're trying to,

obviously tell the crowd what's going on,

and 'cause maybe the audience's like,

"I don't understand why they can't get away."

Well, that's why. So they telegraph it with this line,

and his mouth isn't moving when it says the line.

Again, I'm watching it in high definition.

I was like, "Oh, his mouth's not even moving."

Okay.

- Well, Dr. Stevens, the other guy that was helping

with the brain thing, he's had a change of heart.

He sets the pair on fire,

which therefore sets Frankenstein's monster on fire.

They row away on the boat, and as they row away,

I'll let Gav tell you the last scene from the film.

- They think they got away, and it's all nice and safe,

but alas, no, a voice comes from nowhere,

then the cigarette is in the air, floating by itself,

and we hear the voice of Vincent Price.

- I can't remember quite what he says,

but something along the lines of,

"That was quite the adventure you guys had."

- Yeah, you're not alone.

I'm here all over it.

- And it's the invisible man, and yeah, like we said earlier,

Vincent Price does a little cameo, a voice cameo.

- It's nice. It is really nice just to have that

to finish off one.

But I'm a big fan of this.

I recommend this, thumbs up for me.

- Yeah, absolutely a thumbs up for me.

It's one that I've probably,

it's probably only about the third or fourth time

I've seen it, but absolutely, you're right, I love it.

And I look forward to showing the kids that

when they're a bit older.

It's a live-action Scooby-Doo film.

That's all I can say really, and it's got,

if you love the Carrion movies,

if you love the Universal movies,

you get a kick out of this.

This would sit so well with Carrion screaming.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

- If you could watch those back to back,

or even "What a Carve Up",

all these kind of old school movies,

you could even watch this with "Monster Squad".

You could watch it with that.

It's just fun. It's really fun.

And yeah, thumbs up for me as well.

And plus, they've got Bella, they've got "Glenn Strange",

they've got "Long Chaining" in it.

And Vincent Price, they actually got the big boys

in this one.

- Good stuff. So yeah, thumbs up from both of us.

So that was our first review for our Halloween special.

Thank you, Gav, for electing that.

- Do check it out if you haven't seen it,

but like, realize that you're going into

an old school, universal black and white film.

It's a bit tongue-in-cheek,

but don't take it too seriously and have some fun with it.

- Also, what I would say the final thing is,

but it's not got any of the stuff

that you might be worried about

that wouldn't pass these days.

There's no sort of casual racism or homophobia.

It's just childish humor really.

There's maybe a little bit of sexism in it,

but it's fine, go and watch it, it's fun.

- That's right, are they?

- Bit of body shaming maybe as well.

- Yeah, I don't even think about any of that sort of stuff

really, but yeah, check it out, it's good movie.

Now, "World of Strange", should we get into this?

- Bill, are you ready?

Oh my God, look at the holes in the pumpkin.

- There's multiple holes now of all sizes.

- I think he's just drunk to be honest.

- I think he's just happy with his drill attachment.

Right, let's get into it.

- You all right to do this?

- Let's do this.

Hi, welcome back to "World of Strange".

(sniffling)

- Wow.

Strange, it's Halloween.

Strange Halloween.

- Oh, it's Halloween.

- It's Halloween.

- Got a few stories, Gav.

(humming)

(humming)

- Halloween.

- Bill, so what is this pumpkin hole thing?

- Oh, he says it's like a flash Gordon thing.

You know, he had to put your arm in it.

But why is it that size?

Oh.

I don't like this.

Is it a flash Gordon?

- Is there a scorpion in there?

- He says it's from a flash Gordon.

(laughing)

I don't like the idea of this game.

- Well, let's get into some of these.

'Cause I've got a few little stories for this.

This, you know, it's Halloween, "World of Strange".

The first one is just a fun one.

Just a little fun one for you, Gav.

So I know you love AI and bots.

- I'm very interested in AI.

- That's what I mean.

- I don't look at it as a negative.

I'm interested.

So somebody put in a very small amount of information

into a bot and asked this bot to write an obituary.

Okay?

- I...

- You?

- Yeah.

- You posted this.

I got this from you.

- It's very funny.

- But for our listeners, this is ridiculous.

So I thought it'd be fun to read this out

and we can just laugh as it goes.

So don't forget this is written by a bot.

- To explain what it is with AI and chat.

Basically there's a different, there's a chat,

what's it called, chat?

- Chat GPI or something.

- GPT, GPT, I don't know why.

There's a few of them, different ones.

And this one's about the best one sort of thing.

You can get it to write what you want to write.

You can say, "I would you write a..."

And this is basically said, "Can you write this?"

And then you just put in the key points.

So it's gonna be age to the person.

You give it basic stuff and it will then take that

and present it right out.

So that's basically what someone's gonna done.

And Dan is gonna read the outcome of this.

- So this is an obituary.

So Brenda, so this is what the bots written,

"Brenda retired from living at the age of old.

- Yep.

- Surrounded by family and natural causes."

- Yeah.

(laughing)

- "Librarian from Burr."

- Just surrounded by natural causes.

- A librarian from Burr.

- Amazing.

Like literally from Burr, if I can read.

Can you?

- "Brenda was an avid collector of dust."

- It's just like, I've got these dust collections

everywhere from dating from 1982.

- "She had a sweetheart and married her high school."

- Will you take this high school?

I will.

- I think that's supposed to be a high school sweetheart,

isn't it?

- Every class for a minute.

- "She loved having hobbies."

- I love having hobbies.

- Which ones?

- Just hobbies.

- "And she loved helping her sons to be disadvantaged youths."

(laughing)

- Are you fucked?

Yep, great.

- Good lad.

"She had no horses, but she thought she did."

(laughing)

- Just like, my horses.

I love horses, mommy, I've got any horses.

I thought I had some the next day.

I love my horses.

You know, I've got horses.

- "The church has given her a choir today

"because she sang like a bird and looked like a bird.

"And Brenda was a bird."

- "Brenda's a bird," everybody.

Brenda's literally a bird.

And they thought, "She today sang like a bird

"because she is a bird."

She's up there on the podium.

- She's dead.

- "Burr, burr, burr, burr as a bird."

All right?

So we're gonna give her a whole choir.

So there's a bird sitting in the living room

called Brenda with a choir sitting around her.

Just looking at her going,

"What do you want us to do now?

"Sing another song?"

- "She owed us so many poems."

- She, fucking bitch.

She told us she's gonna give us--

- "That bitch cheered me two poems."

- She told us she was gonna give us a poem.

She didn't.

- And then the final part of it is--

- "How many poems?"

Everyone, she owes poems to everyone.

She owed us so many poems.

- The final part of this bit or picture is,

"The funeral will be held in 1977 in heaven.

"In lieu of flowers, please send Brenda more life."

(laughing)

- Wow.

- Right, give her some more life.

- Please, she doesn't want any flowers.

Just send her some life.

Also, it's being held in 1977 in heaven.

Fucking hell, you're having your funeral in heaven.

- I'm going back in time and it could be in heaven.

- Wow.

- How'd you get there?

- Oh, it's the Uber.

Where's your destination, heaven?

'77.

Is that a club?

- Good stuff.

- No, sounds like a house club.

It's not.

- Good stuff, man.

- It's great.

- So there we go.

So that's the first one.

Just thought that'd be fun to read out.

- It's so good.

- Corrects me up.

Next one is about a little Scottish clown.

Have you heard about what's been happening?

- No.

- Okay, so there's a--

- Not like what we used to have for those clowns

and the whole sightings.

- Not really.

So there's a little area in Scotland called Scale Morley

and there is a Pennywise-style clown

who's posted a message for the nation, a game.

He wants the nation to play.

Bit like Saul.

- All right.

- He's been stalking the streets of this little village

and he said, like I said, he's got a message for the nation.

He's a masked character.

It's a Pennywise-style outfit.

He said, "I want the whole country to join in with this one."

He's been leaving riddles and clues

around the village of Scale Morley

in Scotland in North Ayrshire to solve.

Videos have been uploaded to Facebook

and the clowns highlighted lots of landmarks

and they're saying that people must visit them

and take a picture of them at this landmark

pulling a scary face.

You then need to share your pictures online

with the hashtag #ScaleMorleyClown.

- Is this a fucking promotional marketing thing?

- I don't think it is.

- Right.

And he basically leaves this like a poem,

like of instructions as to where you need to go

and take your picture.

Hang on a minute.

It's taking a bit of time to load up the next bit.

Sorry about this.

But there are prizes as well.

And the only person who's won a prize so far

is a lady who, she opened her front door

and there was a safe, a little safe box outside

with a red balloon attached to it in the morning.

- How did he know where she lived?

- Well, I think she,

I don't actually honestly know how he knew that.

But inside the safe box

was a mirror that said clown on it.

So when you look in the mirror,

you see yourself with the word clown over your head.

- That's her prize.

- Yeah.

- It's worth it.

- So he's been leaving these messes basically.

He wants people all around the country,

not just Scotland, all around the whole of the UK

to take pictures of themselves at these different landmarks.

And yeah, people have been going crazy about it.

It's been all over the news.

The police are like queering,

'cause one of the places he wants you to go

is the top of Ben Nevis.

Obviously a mountain, and it could be quite dangerous

to sort of take a selfie at the top of the mountain.

- What's that to do with a fucking mirror?

It says clown.

- I think there's probably other prizes as well,

but that is one of the prizes.

I'll see if, oh, here we go.

So here's his message in rhyme.

- In rhyme, fuck you.

- Yeah, see, I have a message addressed to the nation.

I've created a game for the country to play in.

Robert Brun's Cottage, where the legend was from,

the Banachburn Monument, where our king won.

Inlock Ness, home to the Nessie,

in Falcrook, the horses that go where they kelpies.

I'm not gonna read it all out, but basically,

each of these is like a little clue to a landmark

that he wants you to go to.

And at the end of it, he says,

all of these landmarks from east to west

make up the country we know is best.

Your game is simple.

At each of these places,

take a selfie with your scariest faces.

Post it online so your pick can be found

and please use the hashtag #SkillMorleyClang.

And he basically, the police are like,

who is this guy, what's he up to?

Is there something more sinister?

He hasn't really said what the prizes are

other than this one lady that won this box

with just her face inside on a mirror.

But yeah, I think it's quite interesting.

It'll be one to watch.

- Yeah, weird.

- It is weird, isn't it?

- Is there a cross between--

- Are you really bored to do this?

- Well, it's like a cross between that gimp guy

that was going around near me, a village near me,

terrorizing people in the middle of the night

just as a gimp.

So it's a bit like that,

'cause apparently this claim sort of creeps around

a bit in the village as well.

- But it can't be anything there.

Like nothing like the cops saying something sketchy.

Like, 'cause he can't be there every place

and it's just gonna be whenever.

So it's, I'd have said a remarket and thing,

but or someone on the board.

- It does sound a bit like that, doesn't it?

- Yeah, I'd have said a market and thing.

It has to be.

- Yeah, maybe it's just someone very bored.

- Or someone really fucking bored.

- Well, that's the Scalm Wally Clang.

And if I get any updates and developments on that,

I will of course--

- People start dropping dead at these spots when they're there.

Now, my last two stories have been provided to me

by my very good, almost best friend, I would say,

one of my longest serving friends, not you, Gav.

You are in that circle.

But Robert, who you know, you've met him several times,

known him since I was 10.

He,

wow.

He sent me two stories.

Well, he sent me one story and told me another story,

something that happened to him two weeks ago.

Now, Rob is,

self-confessed, loves a good mom.

He loves it.

He doesn't love it when things go wrong,

but when things go wrong,

he's the best person for them to happen to it.

'Cause he just, he always puts a very cynical spin on things.

So let me tell you the story

that he told me of what happened to him.

Rob lives near a beach.

So he often takes him, his dog, for a walk along the beach.

And he's got his two sons.

They often come with him.

The other day, about a week or so ago, he messaged me.

I won't tell you the message.

I'll just break the story down.

He's walking along near the other water.

It's the evening and they've got the dog

and he's got his son with him.

And they see a group of people,

you know, 20 feet away from him or so.

And they're all stood together

and they're by the water as the tide's coming in

in the evening.

So I'm setting this romantic setting for you.

Suddenly, he sees a bit of commotion from these people.

And he thinks, well, I don't really know what that was.

And then him and his son and their dog

all sort of get smashed in the face with something.

And then I, what the hell is going on?

What's, his son's going,

"Dad, I'm not being funny.

What is that?

Oh my God, I can't see my eyes are stinging."

Rob's like, "What is, what's going on?"

Rob's thinking, "Are they throwing some bird seed?

What is this?"

No, what they've done is they've thrown the ashes

of their relative.

Oh no.

And the whole cloud of it is blown directly into Rob

and his son and his dog's face,

Max's eyes.

Oh no.

But so, right, you've got two things going on here.

Rob's going to either find out and go,

"I'm going to send in what this is."

Or he's going to find out and say,

"I'm not going to send in what this is."

His son knew, his son's, well, he knew what it was.

They worked out within seconds what it was.

Oh no.

Apparently, as they were working out at the family,

looked really angrily at Rob.

It's not his fault.

Like, you've ruined this beautiful moment

that we were trying to have.

And yeah, I said to Rob,

but actually what they've done is illegal

because it's not actually allowed.

You're not allowed to do that.

You have to have the right permissions

and you have to do it in a place

where it's not going to go in someone's face

for health and safety.

You can't just chuck ashes.

So imagine, right, okay, let's jump to the family.

'Cause you know Rob, so you know how he must have reacted.

- Let's jump to the family there,

Santa Beach, okay.

Barry, you were--

- He's always Barry with you, isn't he?

- Barry, you were a great guy.

You did some amazing things.

That time you jumped out of that airplane

and saved all those ducks,

which are somehow were in the air, was amazing.

And you shout with Steven Seagal as you did it.

It was incredible as you flew through the air.

You were amazing.

Here, we will push your ashes out to sea,

shake, shake, shake, shake.

(groaning)

What's that?

(groaning)

What is that?

It's just here in the family.

And they're just hearing Rob.

What is that, Dad?

What is that?

I've been off.

Is it my throat?

- Yep.

- Barry's in their throat.

- Awful poor Rob.

- Poor Barry?

- But also, I immediately said to him,

"That's great.

"Can I tell that one on the podcast?"

And he said, "Yeah, of course."

- Well, let me know that the world now knows.

And then the other story that Rob sent me

is one that is apparently doing the rhymes at the moment.

But I'm not sure if you've heard this story, Rob.

I'm calling you Rob now.

I'm not sure if you've heard this story, Gav.

This is the fourth and final story from World of the Strange.

This is a story that takes place in Amsterdam.

- Amsterdam.

- Yeah.

So very recently, there was a joint hen and stag do.

I had one of those called a hag do.

You can also call them a stendu.

And they, you know, a bunch of guys and girls

of the Broden Groom Society.

- I never know such a thing.

- Yeah, yeah.

So they all went, basically,

they all wanted to join holiday to Amsterdam.

And the stag do, the hen do, whatever you want to call it,

had to be called off

because something went terribly, terribly wrong

with the sex act.

- Oh, no.

- Right.

So what happened was you got...

So is this people you know?

- No, no, no, no.

This is a story that Rob sent me that is doing the rounds.

But I will tell the story.

So we're in Amsterdam, as we know, anything goes.

Anything goes.

So everyone had been on an all day bender,

drinking, doing coke, smoking weed,

having a great old time.

And this is both the hen and the stag parties.

And they're, you know, bumping into each other

in different bars.

They're going off and doing their own thing.

You know, red light district, it's all happening.

The bride to be decides,

I'm going to go into one of these booths.

Yeah.

Oh, look, there's a little glory hole there.

Mm-mm.

So she's, I don't know how she, what you do,

but she basically signals when she's smashed out of her face,

go ahead, put your dick through the glory hole.

So she, so the dick comes through the glory hole.

Now, bear in mind, she's getting married in a week or so.

So it's a bit naughty that she's doing this,

but you know, whatever she wants to do,

she's her hen do.

So she gives it a little suck,

she has a little go on it,

whatever you do with a willy.

And then apparently there's a button you can press.

And if you press this button,

it makes the glass unfrost and you can see it

on the other side.

And the person on the other side can do that

if they want as well.

It's like a little drunken thing.

Oh, no.

So she presses the button.

Who was it?

Her dad.

Her own dad.

Her own dad.

(shrieking)

It's just like.

There's a lot going on there.

So immediately after they saw each other,

she screamed, he obviously pulled his dick out of the hole.

Everyone came running in.

Everybody went back to their hotel rooms.

How'd you, what was the dad?

So the dad was like,

"I'm gonna come to Amsterdam with my people."

He's on the stag do with his son to be,

son-in-law to be, you know, so.

Oh, right.

I would have been like,

"Dad, I would have been like, no,

"Dad's not coming to Amsterdam, wouldn't you?"

Yeah, but this is, you know,

Alice's dad would have come on my stag do.

To Amsterdam?

Maybe not Amsterdam,

but it depends what the families are like.

I don't know, I'd have been like,

"No, dad's not coming."

Fuck that, it's youth.

Well, not youth, but it's just not like

dad's coming with us.

Dad did come, that was the trouble, Gav.

You know what I mean?

(sighing)

What do you say?

What happens then after that?

Well, apparently after that,

the wedding, I don't,

I think the wedding's been postponed.

Fuck yeah, 'cause basically,

the other side of it was the fucking groomed to be,

wasn't it?

And he was just like, "Where's my wife to be?"

"Oh, she's sucking your dad's dick."

What?

No, sucking her dad's dick.

Oh, she's sucking her own dad's dick?

Fuck.

And on top--

That would have got to him.

I'm sure it's been probably postponed permanently.

Well, he's married as well,

so her mum found out that he'd been

putting his dick in glory holes in Amsterdam.

And her daughter had been going in them sucking on them.

Yeah, and then, like you said,

the groom to be is also found out

that his wife's going in there

sucking random dicks for a joke.

And on top of all that throwing the incest thing,

you're probably gonna wanna wash your hands on that

and move on with your life, aren't you?

Yeah, you're not gonna save that anymore, are you?

Unless that's your bag.

And that's a weird bag.

That is a weird bag.

Like I said, anything goes to Amsterdam,

but perhaps not that.

Yeah, yeah, things go on in Amsterdam,

but definitely not that.

That is the horror.

Well, that's put a bad taste in my mouth.

Oh!

Well, talking of glory holes, Bill,

how are you gonna get that off?

How are you gonna get that pumpkin off of there now?

I think you should have gone for the slightly bigger hole.

You had so many drill bit attachments

with different sizes, diameters.

I think during the next little break,

I'm gonna have to go and get some Vaseline for him

because he's not getting that thing off any time soon.

Oh, holding by the shoulders.

(laughing)

You go.

Jesus Christ, look.

Bill, take us out of here, for God's sake,

and then we'll have a little trailer for Huey B. Halloween

while we try and remove this pumpkin from Bill Murray.

Pumpkin, let's go.

That's all the time we've got for this week on World of Strange.

Next week though,

Gimme iron.

Hairless pets.

We're gonna get some hair.

Well, hello, my ghouls and goblins.

(upbeat music)

I know you've got your costumes picked out

for the frightful festivities.

(upbeat music)

(laughing)

And I hope you all get more trees than tricks.

Halloween's your partner.

(upbeat music)

See a good guy?

Huey B. DuBois is the nicest guy in this town.

He was some happy Halloween word searches.

He can pass it out to the kids.

Thank you so much.

(upbeat music)

As a trained volunteer,

I know what it's like when you're spooky fun just out of hand.

(cheering)

What'd you think?

The supermarket's selling expired bacon.

Janet at the library has not been herself lately.

I heard a voice in the sewer.

I'm sorry, I didn't recognize her.

(upbeat music)

It's pretty impressive how long he's been a loser.

(upbeat music)

Oh, that's what you should be doing.

(screaming)

A Salem tradition.

(laughing)

You gotta expect the scare here or there.

(upbeat music)

There's something off in this town.

(screaming)

Mr. Cambridge?

(growling)

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

Mr. Cambridge?

(gasping)

He's got you?

(screaming)

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

Oh no.

(dramatic music)

(thunder rumbling)

Salem PD?

Yeah, I'll be here.

You can shoot me, DuBois.

(upbeat music)

♪ People are strange ♪

♪ When you're a stranger ♪

♪ Faces look good ♪

Salem needs me.

♪ When you're alone ♪

What are you gonna do, Mr. DuBois?

We're gonna do every act over 31st.

Make sure every CDC is protected.

♪ Sorrow eaten ♪

No one in Salem is safe tonight.

So would you lose your thermos?

Oh, that'll never happen.

(glass shattering)

Anyway.

(upbeat music)

We got a long mystery here.

Oh.

(screaming)

And you know who did this?

Not now, UV.

Mayor, I suggest we cancel Halloween immediately.

We ain't cancelin' that damn thing.

(screaming)

(gasping)

This is some dateline NBC shit.

♪ People are strange ♪

♪ People are strange ♪

♪ People are strange ♪

(laughing)

You're the best person I know.

That's why you're a hero.

♪ People are strange ♪

What the heck, boy?

(screaming)

(glass shattering)

Help me!

(laughing)

That's cool.

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

Hello?

(screaming)

(speaking in foreign language)

Help me!

Help me!

(screaming)

(upbeat music)

- Hubee Halloween from 2020.

- Hubee Halloween.

- Despite his devotion to his hometown of Salem

and its Halloween celebration,

Hubee Du Bois is a figure of mockery

for kids and adults alike.

But this year, something is going bump in the night

and it's up to Hubee to save Halloween.

I want to change my name to Du Bois.

I love it.

- Gavin Du Bois.

- Gav Du Bois.

- Gav Du Bois.

- Dan Du Bois.

- Dan Du Bois.

- Oh, that sounds good, doesn't it?

I like that.

- Don't take that from me.

- So, Adam Sandler movie.

Now, we have to very briefly discuss Adam Sandler.

I never thought we'd cover him.

- Oh, right.

- Yeah, you either love him or hate him.

Most tend to hate him, weirdly.

- I think in the nowadays,

I think back in the day when he didn't do so much,

I think not so much possibly.

I don't know.

I've always enjoyed Adam Sandler since Happy Gilmore.

- Yeah, Adam, you know, Happy Gilmore, wedding singer.

I'm a big fan of a lot of his stuff that he's done,

but he did make a lot of shit.

There was about 10 years where his career was awful.

Now, he's quite a good serious actor when he wants to be,

particularly like Punch Drunk Love.

- Did he do some diamond heist movie or something?

- No, that leads me onto,

Uncut Gems, which is really, really good,

really tense film.

Very, very good, straight acting from him in that.

However, he said, "If I don't win an Oscar for this,

then I'm gonna go straight back to Netflix

and make the shitest film I can

using the sort of characters that you lot

are always slagging me off for using."

And lo and behold, he made "Huby Halloween"

where he plays a man child with a silly voice.

So he made this despite, you know,

- Did he?

- The Oscars or whatever, the Academy.

- It's a bit fucking, it's a bit,

shit's been like, if I win an Oscar,

that's a bit fucking up your own ass, isn't it?

- I know what you mean, but Uncut Gems is an incredible film.

But there was more to it than that,

'cause they were basically saying,

like, he shouldn't be doing this,

he should stick to the kind of shit that he does

and no one watches.

And he said, "Right."

- There's more to it than raves and that, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, so he went back and he made this,

and you know what?

- I like it.

- I fell in love with this movie

when it dropped three years ago on Netflix.

- It looks so nice.

So, it's such a love letter to Halloween.

- Great production, and we'll get into all of that.

Loads, incredible amount of, you know,

homages all the way through it to many films,

not just horror, but many films.

There's "Werewolf" in it as well.

There's lots of random stuff in it.

And yes, Adam Sander does play a man-chart

with a silly voice, but he's someone that I can get behind

'cause he's there to protect Halloween,

which I really admire and I love.

- Yeah, I love the fact he's just like this marshal

to this little town.

I always loved the little town dynamic.

I love things that only get used to all the characters.

That's why I quite like the sort of Stephen King stories,

the Salem slot, that sort of thing.

Like more recently, it was like a midnight mess.

- I do like the sort of, you get to know everybody,

regardless of what genre of being dark, straight,

or this being goofy and comedy.

But this has that whole thing as well.

It is a bit weird though, that he has this love

with this woman called Viola, that he's loved

for all his life, and she's really liked him.

Yet somehow, it's because it's a movie

and we're having an info dump on it,

but they're like saying to each other what's going on.

It's like, you must see each other every day

and have done four years on end.

Why all of a sudden, how are you just explaining

to each other what's going on?

Well, I've got two children from a marriage.

It's obviously for us as the audience.

- I know, I don't think you've seen her for a while.

- Well, where's she been?

- Well, she's been married to the cop for years.

- But they've been living in that town though,

though you've both had one.

- I know, but I just don't think they really talk

to each other. - I don't understand.

I don't, just don't understand.

But I don't really-- - But you don't know

anything at all about her.

- Yeah, I don't think that matters though either, does it?

- It doesn't matter, that is just whatever.

It's an info dump for us.

- And there's a lot of fun faces in this,

lots of people that you'd see.

- Lots of camos.

- Loads of Adamson.

- I love Shaka Nill.

Shaquille O'Neal as a DJ Aurora,

who's basically has the voice that she's the DJ

from The Warriors.

- Or The Fog.

- Okay, Warriors.

This is, this is--

- I think that's more of the Fog thing.

- Oh no, that's taking it from The Warriors.

- Oh okay, it was actually supposed to be,

it's supposed to be a Foggo march apparently.

- Oh you, oh I suppose they are doing a horror movie,

but I just looked at that as a warrior.

- Yeah, you're right, The Warriors as well.

Yeah, and there's obviously some psycho

and Friday the 13th references in this.

Excuse me, there's also some werewolf stuff going on.

- I love the fact that his voice is a female.

I think that's fucking brilliant.

Then his girlfriend or wife comes in

and her voice is a man.

- Yep.

- That's fucking amazing.

- You, you, you.

- I like it, I know Sarah, she'd look at that

and be like, "This is fucking shit, Gav."

And I'm like, "I like it."

- So just to throw in some of the people

that are in this as well, you've got Ray Liotta.

Amazing that he's in this briefly.

Rob Schneider of course, we're big fans of him

as he was in Jules.

- Steve Buscemi.

- Steve Buscemi, we've got Tim Meadows,

Kenan of Kenan and Kale.

We've got Michael Chickliss.

- That's right, I really.

- Well, there's a few other little people popping up,

but yeah, Shaq.

But there's sort of people that are always popping up

for random silent movies.

You know what you're getting with this really.

And like you said, I think what sells this to me and you

and other people that were shocked that they liked this.

- It looks so good.

- Yeah, it's basically, it takes place

in a town exactly like Haddonfield.

- It's not Blumhouse, is it?

- Because it's Netflix.

- No, it's Netflix, yeah.

- It is so nice looking, honestly.

Just look at the production and just the color palette

they've gone for, the oranges, the greens,

and sort of the darkness to it.

It's just so gorgeous looking.

It's something which I don't know.

- It's Adam Sandler's own production company,

Happy Madison, which is two of his movies,

Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore,

but his production company is Happy Madison.

So it would have been him and his producers

that came up with this.

And Adam Sandler is a huge horror movie, scary movie fan.

And especially he loves Halloween, not just the movie,

but he loves Halloween the season.

So this is like a love letter from him

and his gang of people to finally do something

that's scary-ish.

- I think they do a really good job.

'Cause it's kind of, the way you say it,

it's at Blumhouse, obviously straight away.

I was like, oh, I know, of course it's not.

It's Netflix with them.

But it just, it kind of looks Blumhouse a bit,

but actually looks kind of better, do you know what I mean?

It has a little bit more of a slicker look,

a bit more of a different look, a bit more pro.

- It's got the same sort of production feel

as that first Goosebumps movie, with Jack Black.

Do you know what I mean?

It feels slick and some money has been spent on it.

- See, I like the gags now.

I like the editings.

'Cause you can make jokes with just editing.

It's easy to make a gag. - Totally.

- You can cut someone off half a food and saying something

and that would make you laugh,

even if it's a serious thing.

That'd even make you laugh more.

But this has, this is a really good job with editing

and gags, mixed with gags.

Actually pretty funny, some really good shit.

Like, I love the fact his mum has all these things

like the boner doner t-shirt, all these different t-shirts.

So far, I firstly find that really funny.

- Muff Diver, she's wearing a t-shirt that she got

from the thrift store that says Muff Diver

or boner doner, are we?

- Boner doner, yeah.

- So funny.

- And she thinks it's when you do something wrong.

So then he's at the school, thinks, oh, sorry, my boner.

- I did have a boner myself once at school,

at the time. - I used to be able

to get a bed there.

I used to have different boners at schools.

- We've all had boners.

One time I made a huge boner at school.

- Yeah, man, I used to get boners.

- So funny.

And we've obviously got the recurring joke

with his thermos, his flasks.

- His thermos flasks, I love it though.

- Which is like a Swiss army flask.

He's always got a supernet, but it's also got a megaphone.

It's got a grappling hook.

- And he's basically this character

that everybody in the town just takes the fucking pit

out of and they just rip the shit out of him.

- They call him Pubi.

- They're just so horrible to him.

- And they always twist his name out.

At one point somebody says, "Hubi, do be careful."

And Hubi do be do, they just really rip into this guy.

- I really like it, but let's get into the movie.

We start off with Ben Stiller as a,

a kind of character you've seen before,

a real nasty horrible doxer.

- Well, no, he's really playing his character from--

- Ah, what was that from?

- From Happy Gilmore, remember?

So his grandma's a mental home.

- He's looking after his mom, yeah.

- Not the mental home, but the old people's home.

He says, "He's got all the old people sewing for him,

like a sweatshop."

But one of them says, "My fingers hurt."

Then he goes, "Yeah?

Well, how about your arms gonna hurt?

'Cause I'm gonna break it off if you don't,

no, keep sewing, Granny."

And he's the same crazy guy, same as Ash.

- And he starts up and he basically goes into a cell

and prods it around in like this place.

He's like, maybe it's an institute for criminally insane,

or something like that.

And he goes to pull off the sheets and it's nothing there.

What is it?

Like some jelly. - Jelly.

- And a hot dog as a body.

- Yeah, and it's basically--

- I quite like the fact it's jelly and a hot dog.

A hot dog sticking out of jelly.

- Our version of Michael Myers,

which is Richie Hartman, played by Brock Schneider.

- Yeah, it's gone.

And he's like, "Oh, no, it's gone."

And that's Ben Stindler out the film.

- He's escaped.

And that's, basically there's a psycho on the loose.

- We've got a bit of a Halloween thing going on here.

Michael Myers is on the loose.

- They've taken Halloween.

And yeah, that's what we're doing.

- And we kick in with Monster Mash playing.

And we have got a great soundtrack.

- Turn montage.

- Yep.

And I love a good turn montage.

- We have a radio DJ.

- Yep.

And like I said, the soundtrack is great

all the way through this, Monster Mash.

You've got loads of stuff, Ghostbusters.

Loads of stuff plays all the way through this movie.

It's fantastic.

And we get to meet Hubey on his bike,

cycling along the town of Salem,

and literally not one single person

apart from his mum and Violet Valentine.

They're the new two people in the whole town

that seems to like him.

Everybody else is throwing eggs at him,

throwing rubbish at him.

And he's become so used to this

that he's a master at ducking

when things come flying his way.

- Yeah.

Like things come out and he's putting his flask,

putting it into the flask, putting it back in,

just literally ducking back and forth

so I can go along.

It's got to the point where

he as a person must at some point

cried himself to sleep in bed,

going, "Nobby likes me."

And then gone, "Actually, I don't care.

"I'm better than that the next day."

Just getting on with it.

- Well, is mum and Violet Valentine,

all we say, you're the nicest person I know.

You only ever think of others.

And I think really that there is a--

- There's a little message to this.

- There is a message to this.

And it's, you know-- - It's been nice.

- People might not believe we're saying that,

during an Adam's Anaconda movie.

- This is never a movie before.

We'd rather be the nicest person in the other film.

- Yeah, yeah, totally.

So he sees Violet, who's just like,

"Hi, Yibi."

And he crashes, obviously.

And this is where he meets his new neighbour.

He's just moving in.

- Steve Buscemi.

- Yeah, who may or may not be a werewolf.

Which is brilliant.

By the way, Yibi, if you ever hear any weird noises

coming from my house during a full moon,

don't come around knocking on the door.

Don't, especially during a full moon, just stay away.

And he's like, "Why are you boarding up the windows

"in your house?"

He's like, "Oh, I'm just paranoid about burglaries.

"Don't worry about it."

It's just like these silly things that are happening.

It's so good, I love it.

And we find out that he works in a deli, doesn't he, Yibi?

- Yeah, he does.

And he's over at the actual bit

where they're sort of serving food and meat and stuff.

And he chats to one of the meat guys.

And Ray Liotta happens to be there as a customer.

And Ray Liotta plays,

we find out later on, spoiler,

Ray Liotta plays a stupid person.

He has a very low IQ, but masks it,

which we find out later on.

He masks it with being a twat.

- Bullying, gov.

Bullying.

And yeah, basically the big prank

in this supermarket with the deli

is that they love scaring him.

He scars very easily, considering he loves Halloween.

So they're always trying to prank him.

- He does everything and they find it amusing.

So Ray Liotta looks over to the guy behind the counter.

The guy looks at him and they just nod at each other

'cause they've got his prank going.

So then he goes, "Huey!"

Ray Liotta does, "Have you got any sheep's head?"

(Rey laughs)

And I think, "Well, it turns around, looks down."

And there's a rubber sheep's head with the deli guy

behind up through the salad stuff going,

"Ah!"

And it makes Huey jump.

- And we also see the O'Doial kids,

and the O'Doials are from Billy Madison.

O'Doial rules.

So there's lots of other Adam Sandler movies

that bleed into this one as well.

And in fact, some of the O'Doial kids

wear screen masks and like to chase Adam Sandler

around on their bikes and throw things at him.

- Yeah, it's quite, I like the fact they're in screen masks.

Sergeant Donnie we were introduced to,

which is a very bad fake beard and wig going on

on their pitch policeman.

- Which our friend, Darje McCready,

once sent a picture of to me and said,

"Oh, I didn't realize you were in this movie, Dan."

(Rey laughs)

I was like, "Thanks for that very much."

- And that's the cop who we find out was married to

the lady, the love interest of Adam Sandler and his hubie.

- Violet Valenside.

- So, but they're not together now,

but he's also aware of hubie 'cause hubie seems

to bother the police department regularly with nonsense.

The boy at Cried Wolf Top sort of thing,

always saying to him, "Have you noticed

there's something going on?"

And they're sick of it.

- Yep.

- They can't be bothered.

- So they, so the plot, so where we're at right now is

the police have heard that--

- Richie Hartman.

- Richie Hartman's on the loose.

And we're just starting to find out how much--

- He could be going back to his hometown.

- He could be going back to his hometown.

And we're just starting to find out that

hubie Du Bois is really into health and safety,

particularly on Halloween.

- Yeah.

- So we can see where this is all going.

Throw in that a new neighbor has moved in,

like I said, who may or may not be aware of Wolf.

He loves hubie's Halloween decorations.

What a great house hubie Du Bois has.

But then we find out he lives with his mum.

- Yeah, it's good decorations, yeah.

- And it, like you said, his mum is always wearing

a very inappropriate T-shirt, much like Styles from Team Wolf,

but she doesn't really--

- He doesn't know.

- No, no, so she's got a bonadonna T-shirt.

It says bonadonna and she goes,

"Well, I think boners are when you make a mistake."

That's right.

And he's like, "Hmm, okay, mum."

- Yeah, he takes that one.

- And agrees with her, 'cause it's his mum.

"Oh, okay, mum, you're not best."

- Yeah.

- He is a real man, Charles, and she basically says to him,

- Their father's dead, husband.

- She basically explains to him the plot of the movie,

which we don't realize until the end of the movie,

which is, "Son, Salem is full of bullies,

and today is gonna be the day you have to stand up

for yourself, want some for all."

We'll come back to that line at the end.

- Yeah.

- And he's like, "Well, thank you very much, my mum.

Try my best, bro.

Guys, as long as everybody has a good Halloween,

that's the main thing for me."

(mimics car horn)

And he does his little Adam Sandler voice.

And yeah, we find out here about his flask,

which is a ridiculous joke, but it's brilliant.

It's got mace in it, it's got a vacuum, a grappling hook.

His flask, his thermos can do anything.

At one point, he pours loads of drinks in it,

and it turns into a blender,

and he just makes a brand new drink out of it.

It's just, somebody says to one point,

"Aren't you worried about losing that thing?"

Well, then he goes, "Yeah, dad,

that actually will never happen."

And he throws it away.

- He throws it, and it just springs back.

(laughs)

- It just comes back to his arm.

It's so cute.

- I love it.

- Why does it make me laugh so much?

- Why do I like it so much?

I don't know.

- I don't know, it's funny though.

- Again, though, this movie, I felt very safe with this film.

- Yeah.

- Do you know what I mean?

I felt nothing really could bad happen,

but I'm in the world of horror in the kind of way.

But Gav, it's got you and I hooked in,

because then we get introduced to the jewels aspect.

So there's a parade happening on Halloween,

and the mayor has been told,

"We shouldn't go ahead with this parade,

because Richie Hartman's on the loose."

And he could come back, and the mayor says,

"No, this parade is so important to this community.

We can't close it down.

We can't have a curfew.

I don't care about this Richie Hartman thing.

Make it go away.

I don't wanna hear about it,

just like the shark with the mayor and jewels."

And of course, he's even wearing the same jacket

as the mayor and jewels.

Ooh.

- Oh, okay.

- Yeah, so there's that whole jewels thing going on there.

So we've already got Halloween,

some screen references, jewels, all that stuff thrown in.

There's gonna be a few other bits

and bobs coming up as well.

- There are a Salem exhibit of like,

the witches and stuff, which is quite nice actually.

And Huey's such a nice guy,

he's printed out word searches

for the kids waiting in line outside.

- Yes.

- And it's such a sweet thing to do.

And I would actually think women would probably

wanna be with him, 'cause he's such a nice person.

And she looks at him,

pilots there and she kinda looks at him like,

oh.

- Well, he gives a pile of them to the nun

and says, "Oh, could you hand these out

"to the children?"

And she says, "Yeah, walks off

"and just slams them into the trash can."

She doesn't even...

- Oh.

- We do find out that something has killed a pig

owned by these two farmers.

- And it's been eaten, yeah.

- It's been partially eaten.

- I love this husband and wife dynamic.

- Yeah, they hate each other, don't they?

- He's just like, just saying, "I love that pig."

He's like, "Look, I'm a bit more than me,

"but I think I did love that pig more in you."

And it's that sort of back and forwards.

And it's so funny.

- And he's like, "What are we gonna do?

"Peanuts lying dead on the floor?"

And she's like, "We're gonna fucking eat peanut later on.

"We're gonna fucking eat him."

Like, yeah, then they run in the police station,

they're just there arguing.

And it's the only time we see them, I love them.

- They're always arguing.

And the joke there really is that

they talk like a couple of real redneck Southerners,

but they're actually a black husband and wife.

But they've got this like real rednecky Southern way

of talking, which is hilarious.

It's just completely contrast with how they look.

- Side note, another thing about these Halloween movies,

yeah, did you see all of them?

The New York Free movie?

- I have not seen Halloween ends.

- Okay, I think it's ends where there's a gay couple

in their house and they're two blokes.

And someone the other day put a picture of that on Facebook.

I'm going back to the dynamic.

- No, it's Halloween kills, 'cause I've seen that one.

- Oh, okay, cool.

And they're the best things in the movie, those two.

- Yeah, I remember those two.

- I would have liked to have just seen a movie

with them two.

And someone put a picture of them up on just like

a Facebook horror group and everyone just saying like,

"Oh yeah, they're the best thing."

Everyone just saying that's the best thing of that movie.

And I was like, "Yeah."

And it's the dynamics of things.

And I would like to see that, like we were just talking

about with dynamics.

- Hubey talks to Violet at this sort of event

that's leading up to the parade and finds out

that she's been fostering children.

So she's got a couple of girls living with her

who are sisters, but they're her foster daughters.

And she has a son as well,

who's the guy from Stranger Things.

- Which I didn't realize.

And I watched this with Jay and Jay's the one

who said to me who that was and said,

"Yeah, he's come out as gay in real life."

I was like, "Who is he?"

Out of Stranger Things.

I was like, "That's that dude.

Oh shit."

It was obviously, I was like, "Will."

He's like the little one I got kidnapped.

Well, taken to the upside down.

- The upside down.

- The upside down.

- That was a good show.

I did like Out of Stranger Things.

That was all right.

- Yeah, well, there's one more season to go,

which has been keeps getting delayed,

but then that's it then.

- They didn't have a season.

They were there halfway through sort of writing it

and doing everything, but then that's it then.

It's done and dusted.

- That's gonna be CGI heavy, isn't it?

Can't the kids all grown up and shit?

- Well, yeah, I think it'll just be set up a few years later.

- Okay.

- I think that's it then.

- I thought that was done before.

- Hubey, what happens next?

Oh yeah, this is where Violet says,

"I think I'm in love with that man.

He's so lovely and so nice.

And we've known each other since kindergarten.

He's just really, really nice."

- There's the Durv's and Nabon, the gravestone name.

- Yes, so somebody says to Hubey,

there's something weird going on.

- It's what Violet says.

- Oh yeah, she says, "I don't know why she knows,

but there's something weird about that neighbor,

'cause the name you've just told me that he uses."

- There's something at the graveyard you should check out.

And what is it?

You should just check it out.

Which is a bit like, what does that mean?

- That could be anything.

- Well, look, if you sell Hubey to investigate something,

he'd be-- - He is a little private dick,

isn't he?

- And he goes along, drawing Regliotto's dad's funeral.

- It's not the best time to go.

Regliotto's just like, right, that's it,

I'm fucking having you.

- Well, he's scrabbling around on the ground

and he discovers that--

- Regliotto sees him, though.

- And he discovers that Walter Lambert,

which is the name that Steve Buscemi said he goes by,

has no death date.

He says, "Born here, died."

- 16, whatever, and doesn't die.

- So he then starts digging up the wood, the ground,

flicking all the soil, and he's going on to the priest,

played by Michael Chickliss, who's like,

"I'm gonna kick your fucking ass, man!

"I was a boxer, you know?

"I may be a priest, but I'm a boxer."

And then his little choir boy with him is like,

"You want me to go kick his ass, father?"

And he's like, "Hmm, yeah, maybe in a minute."

And they're like both really into like,

just beating up Hubey to bar.

- Yeah, totally, well, they all are.

And Rayleigh Otters is like, "Right, I'm fucking having him."

- Well, Rayleigh Otters initially says that,

"I really want to say sorry for the way I spoke to you

"in the deli the other day.

"Basically, my dad just died this week,

"and that's why I've been acting, you know,

"not very nice to people, and the grief has hit me,

"and I'm very sorry about that.

"And also, my dad loved to get jokes,

"so, boof, and he just shoves Hubey

"into his dad's grave, basically."

- Yeah.

- But his dad was a ripe bastard,

afraid he was like that.

- Yeah.

- And his mom's saying, "Well, have you done?

"What are you doing?"

He's saying, "Mom, it's fine, it makes it better.

"He liked it, mom."

- "It's what dad would have wanted, come on."

- So, then the Hubey pulls out his soup flask,

and thinks, "I'll just sip him,

"have some soup in the grave,

"showing on the coffin."

And then he just gets dirt thrown all up,

and he goes, "Hey, like that."

And the guy looks down,

and has a heart attack and falls on top of him.

Then we cut to Hubey, he's standing there,

and he goes up to Ray Liotta's mom,

and says, "Oh, nice witch costume."

And he says, "Witch costume?

"It's his husband's funeral."

And he says, "Oh, sorry, my boner."

- Yeah, my boner, a good pal of doubt.

- My boner.

- My boner.

- And then as he walks past, he'd be shown me,

who he's like, "Oh, you're boarding up your windows there."

He's like, "Ah, it's all about security for me."

So like every time he's in,

he's getting hairier and weirder and weirder,

and it's funny.

And then we cut to school,

where Hubey is giving a Halloween-help safety presentation.

It's so good.

He comes out dressed as a ghost.

- Ooh, and a head-bast is like, "Oh, God."

- And he's like, "It's okay, I'm not a ghost,

"I'm just a human being, is it okay?"

(laughs)

And then he looks over at that one kid,

he's got like a zombie costume on,

and he goes, "Ah, kill it, kill it, burn it, burn it."

And he's like, "Oh, I'm sorry," he said,

"that is a very good costume, I don't apologize."

'Cause he wants to like kill this kid.

And he holds up the word ghost.

We never get to find out exactly where this is going,

but he says, "This word can be broken down.

"G is for give.

"Give to others."

And he starts talking about how when he was a kid,

he would give most of his candy from Halloween

collecting to the poor.

But before he can get to the H, the O, the S, and the T,

the kids are just throwing food at him.

He's got an umbrella in his thermos, which opens up.

And yeah, he just doesn't get a chance really

to finish off the presentation, sadly, which is a shame,

'cause I'd love to know what the rest of the letters

stood for.

- Yeah.

- Help, I should imagine.

O was probably, I don't know.

- I don't know.

- Let's not go down that.

But Violet's son is invited to a Halloween party

by a girl in the coffee shop.

This hot girl who dresses as Red Riding Hood.

She's like two years older than him.

She knows he's younger, but she's like, "Yeah, you know,

"I'll go to the party with you."

So he's pretty happy about that.

And so at this Halloween party later,

there's probably gonna be a few things going on,

I should imagine.

- I like it in the morning.

You got the DJ talking over the top of

a Halloween morning montage of people getting ready,

stuff being done.

And they get the request of Ghostbusters to come on.

So that's playing with this montage.

And it is very reminiscent of a scene in Ghostbusters

when Casey Kasem's on the radio,

DJ's talking over the top of,

"We got new boys in town."

And then the Ghostbusters, it felt like that.

- After capture of the spirit,

the boys stayed on to dance the night away

with lovely ladies.

- Yeah, yeah, that.

It felt like that.

'Cause it's the Ghostbusters song playing.

- And the DJ saying, "Today's the day here in Salem.

"Don't forget, it's Halloween.

"We got the parade coming up this afternoon,

"but after that..."

- I love this.

And I'm sitting there going, "I love this film."

Like, I just want to be there that morning

with the radio DJ Ghostbusters,

starting that over this little town

that's all getting ready for the,

all they care about is Halloween.

Nothing else in the whole world matters.

- And he becomes out of his house in the morning

and he's got a little stash over him that says,

"Monitor."

'Cause he is the Halloween monitor for the day.

- Aw, he's a Halloween monitor.

And he saves a cat.

And the lady's like, "Why do you adore my cat?"

- He throws it at her, she can't just sit.

And then Violet says,

"Don't make me get out of this car and kick your ass.

"You know I could do it.

"Leave, you'll be alone."

It's like, "Oh, she loves him."

Everyone's getting their costumes ready.

You know, some really good costumes.

I put here great Halloween vibes,

'cause it just gives you, like you said, it's just.

- It really is lovely Halloween vibes.

They've so much love for Halloween in there.

That's why I really like this film.

- Yeah, you know what?

I also get a bit of a trick or treat vibe from this as well.

- Yeah, it's a child-friendly sort of trick or treat.

- Yeah.

Night time comes, it's a full moon.

So--

- I do like the bit where the lady says,

"I'm asexual, but that lady's making me hella horny."

- Oh yeah, that's right.

(laughing)

- Yeah, it's pretty gross.

Yeah, that is gross.

- That is.

- You sound more like Donald Trump.

- Oh, God.

Well, night time comes, there's a full moon,

so we know what that might mean for Steve Buscemi.

And, Hubey is on patrol.

He's on patrol, this is a bit where he saves the cat.

And Lester confronts him.

There's a bit more bullying going on here.

- Yeah.

- And we haven't met Lester yet.

He's been played by Tim Meadows.

And he's got really bad wig, hasn't he?

Really bad hairline.

And he's basically always been jealous of Hubey,

who's got nice hair, apparently.

But he's really mean to him.

And this is where they go to the drive

for a bit later on.

And they try and trick Hubey, don't they, into,

'cause Lester just tells his girlfriend

to go over to Hubey and say that there's a strange,

spooky car over there, which basically,

this is like a little nod to Kristie.

- Driving, isn't it?

- Yeah.

And the car starts up and starts flying at him.

And there's no one in sight,

but there's a headless man driving it,

which makes Hubey run away.

And then all the scream kids are in the back of the car

and they're all throwing stuff at Hubey.

It's all very mean and just more bullying, really.

Also, Lester says,

"I would like to complain about your neighbor.

"All I can hear is really strange howling noises

"coming from his house in the middle of the night.

"I don't know what all that's about."

And he does sneak into his house, doesn't he?

- Yeah, he did jump ahead with that driving,

so a lot, lot, lot, lot later on.

- Yeah, sorry, I was getting excited.

- I was thinking, "Oh, where the hell?"

- Yeah, all these noises are going on at the house.

- And Hubey breaks into Steve Buscemi's house.

- Yeah, well, his multiflass is also a drill,

so he manages to open the door lock, which is fine.

- Gets in there and he finds loads of dog food.

He finds a fucking massive hole in the floor.

- There's the dog turds on a newspaper.

- Is this you?

Is this yours?

Have you been doing this?

- And then he sees Steve Buscemi in the corner,

going (gurgling noises)

- He says, "I know you said come down

"if you hear bad noises, but I heard noises

"now come down, Steve Buscemi."

He's like, "Oh, yeah."

- I did say not to fucking come down here, then.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, he manages to escape anyway,

and all very strange stuff going on there.

And we cut back to the police station

where the pig owners are back,

still arguing with each other and with the police.

And Hubey interrupts, and he comes in and he says,

- He's very excited about what happens though, isn't he?

- Well, because they trick him here.

And we've seen this before in movies,

where they basically, to shut somebody up,

they give them like a pretend title.

And they say to him, "Look, you're gonna become

"a special deputy or something like that,

"but you can't tell anybody about this, Hubey.

"All I want you to do is spy on people,

"keep an eye on the town, write it all down in a journal,

"and then deposit your journal into the bin

"located outside of the park.

"And we will pick that journal up tomorrow morning,

"and we'll know everything that's gone on in the town.

"But you can't tell anybody that we've asked you to do this.

"You can't pretend, you can't tell anybody

"that we've anything about it.

"We'll deny all involvement."

Basically give them a fake mission.

And he stands up with a little, pretty much,

- He says to him, "I've got something we could do,

"have you ever heard about Giannicole?"

And he takes his like, he's got a little gasp

at his flasks, sounds like gasp.

- Oh, he's asked by Enhaler.

- Oh yeah, yeah, so.

(sniffling)

Then each time he's excited, he releases a sound.

He keeps every saying, he says, "We can't."

Well, you know, no one would know that you're actually doing it.

(sniffling)

You can't, so that's the same positive, yes.

You can't tell anybody about it.

We can't pay you.

(sniffling)

And he just keeps saying it,

and it goes down and down and down on how good this is.

And he's just holding on, going, "This is great.

"This is great."

It's very funny.

- It is very funny.

We get another little Halloween nod here,

where we've got Cookie and Danielle,

who are the two fostered girls with viola,

and they're on their own watching

"Creature from the Black Lagoon."

- Yeah, good choice.

- And the other, tonight, you know,

getting ready for Halloween.

Their brother has chipped off the guy

from "Stranger Things"

has gone to the Halloween party.

- He has, naughty boy. - Naughty boy.

He's basically looking after them.

There was a cute moment earlier where

Hubey meets them, and he says, "What's your name?"

And she says, "Cookie."

And he goes, "Well, then you are a smart cookie."

It's just a really cute little moment.

- He's quite off the cuff, isn't it?

- Yeah, I love it.

- He's cut to the party,

and the punch has been spiked.

We've got some amazing costumes.

People dressed up as all types of things.

There's a band playing as well.

And of course, Hubey shows up, Calv.

- And he starts talking about

wishing to get his boner and stuff again or whatever.

- Before that, he says, "Aye, smoking is for losers."

And he takes a cigarette of some smite.

Then he starts pouring beer away.

And in the end, the whole party's like,

"We're gonna kick your ass.

You're ruining this party for us."

So that's where he says,

"All right, I think it's time to tell you,

we all make boners from time to time.

I made some huge boners when I was at high school.

I'm sorry, this is my boner.

I'm so sorry that this has happened."

And then I don't think he knows what the word boner means.

And I'm like, "No, I don't think he's even ever had a boner."

Yeah, so poor old Hubey.

Just a buffoon.

And it sounds awful.

When we say all this out loud,

anyone who hates Adam Sandler is listening to me say all that

and saying, "And that is why I don't watch

Adam Sandler movies, 'cause I don't wanna hear him

stood there going, 'Dead is your boner.'

But if you like Adam Sandler, then you'll love this shit.

If you like Halloween, then you'll love this shit."

- Yeah.

- Do you know what I mean?

Do you know what I mean?

- I like it.

- Well, Freddie Mercury,

which is one of the kids dressed as Freddie,

decides to play a trick on him.

So a couple of them say, "Oh, the kid's gone missing

in the cornfield.

There's a corn maze outside."

- Yeah.

- And Hubey's like, "I better go rescue him then."

- Yep, Hubey's like, "I'm gonna do this."

- So he goes into the corn.

My wife hates corn, like high grass and corn fields.

So I said to her, she was watching this with him.

She was like, "I'd not fucking go in there in no way."

She watched that.

- She's seen in the tall grass, is it?

That's...

- No, I'm not saying it.

- Oh, it's very good, very good.

Anyway, Hubey goes in.

- It looks really nice, by the way.

There's a one point, there's this big crane shot

and there's all this fog.

There's obviously a lot of artificial fog,

but whatever, it looks nice.

I really like it.

It's got such a lovely atmosphere with the music as well.

It just looks so good.

- Yeah, they've definitely put some love into this.

- Yeah, I'm really impressed.

- So he's gone in there

and he sees the kid dressed as Freddy Krueger,

Freddy Mercury tied up and then he's vanished.

He's snatched away to the corn.

- You're jumping at it a little bit.

So he goes in there, he's looking for the kids,

then he got the other two coming in to look for Hubey

to tell him it's a hoax.

So we've got like different parties

going into this corn maze and it's huge.

But yes, he does find him tied up

and all of a sudden sucked out of camera shot.

So he's gone.

It's like, what the fuck was that?

And it was like, what the hell was this?

And I really like that

'cause all of a sudden it's flipped this movie again.

'Cause we've got this werewolf is here,

but that's not what is that, what is going on?

- Is it aliens?

Well, you know, what could it be?

Especially 'cause we're in a cornfield

and you're thinking of crop circles

and that kind of thing.

- I look forward to when Elijah can actually,

'cause I tried to introduce Big Trouble

and it would try it to him the other day.

We've got Arthur, for a minute, that's about it.

- I look forward to when his attention spans

a bit more interested in films.

To show him this film, I think you're quite enjoying.

- Yeah, it's a fun one.

Well, cut to Violet arriving at the Dairon issue

except for a night shift.

She can't get hold of her son.

So she's a little bit worried.

She doesn't know where he is

and that's because he is at the party.

- And what I love just before that,

we get the radio DJ again saying it's 9 p.m. now

and it's just like the radio DJ is just telling us

where we are through the story.

And I really like that as a simple way to do that.

- Well, she also says, or he would be fine, I'd say.

- Yeah, she'd kill her.

- It's 9 p.m. so all of you children

are probably just getting home now with your candy.

However, after 9 p.m. is where the adults,

monsters come out to play

and they're gonna be really naughty, really nice.

She basically implies that after nine o'clock

is when all the adults get smashed.

So there we go.

- Yeah, a fire lit a rice for it.

It came to hold up her son,

but luckily Adam's son has said to her son,

"Go home 'cause your daughters need you

and you should really go home."

And I won't tell your mother that I found you in here

kissing with this girl.

- Totally, and then we're at the driving.

- That's right.

- And I love it.

The man and woman, I love the fact that his head does,

costume, head does, head does body costume.

So good and he's holding his, and it's his head

that is in the costume, so shoulders above his head.

I realize, I love the fact he gets,

oh, the dynamic of this relationship.

He gets into the car and looks at her

and starts sucking on

- The fake fingers.

- Man's dead fingers.

And she's like, "Is this turning you on?"

She's like, "No, why would it turn me on?

You're sucking on dead fingers."

Man's dead fingers.

"Are you saying my hands are like a dead man's hands?"

(laughing)

And he's like, "No, I thought it was horny."

- I thought it would turn you on, it doesn't.

- She's like, "It's not horny at all."

She's, there's an outtake actually where she says,

"Are they supposed to be 10 little penises?

Is that what they're supposed to be?"

It's so funny.

- That's good, and then later on,

it keeps going on that she's trying to get it turned on

and she just can't get turned on by anything.

It's quite funny.

- So it's like a polished prank.

- Yeah, they do.

- It's a bit of a Christine throwback

because there's a spooky car in the corner of the driveway,

drive through.

Hubey goes over to it,

and the headless man starts driving at him.

He starts running and screaming.

- He starts freaking the fuck out,

which is quite funny really.

- And it's false.

- And then all of a sudden,

the ghost face being mixed squads

start chasing him as well.

- It's really mean, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- He runs off, he uses his graphic hurt.

- His last megaphone, he's already said to try

and get the cop to stop,

or the cop to stop,

the car to stop when it's coming towards him.

- That's right.

So my favorite accessory in it now is the graphic.

- It's well good.

It just pulls him up to knock him out on the tree

to flip backwards and come back down.

It's such a good stunt as well.

- And he lands in the forest.

- Lands in the woods over the fence for the drive-in.

Oh no, it's all atmospheric

with the moon in the background,

looks so good.

- He finds Steve Pashami pretty much like an animal

in the woods.

- In the bushes.

- And he's like, "Walter, Mr. Lambert, is that you?

Are you doing it?

What are you doing here?"

Mr. Lambert is just like, (growls)

just runs off.

- Yeah.

(laughs)

- It's so weird.

And he's like, he says to,

I think he says to him, "Are you a like-and-thrown?"

Or is this something?

And he thinks himself, that guy is definitely a werewolf.

But I know that whatever's going on here is,

this guy's a werewolf.

- Yeah.

- And then the parade starts.

And the cop says to the mayor,

something weird is going on.

We need to cancel the parade.

This is where they really get the jewels moment.

And he's like, "We are not gonna cancel this parade.

Too many people rely on it.

There's a lot of money in this.

So let the parade go on and just deal with this

Richie Hartman situation separately."

And we have seen all the way through this movie,

we've seen this person in a pig mask here and there.

A bit like Michael Myers just popping up here

and there in the background.

And it is cool.

There's a lot of elements to it.

And this is definitely a multiple viewing movie, I think.

You get more out of it the more you watch it,

especially if you're into it.

If you hate it, then you're just gonna hate it even more.

- Oh, well, you'd probably turn it off by now, I'm sure.

I really like it though.

- And Cookie and Danielle see this pig head guy

at one point and they run off.

So, Hubey goes to the dining to speak to Violet.

And he tells her about the missing boy in the corn maze.

And he's just like,

"There's something weird going on here.

"People don't seem to believe me."

And she was like, "Well, look, if anybody can do this,

"Hubey, it's you, I believe in you.

"And I think you're the nicest person I know.

"And I think you would do whatever you can to help.

"And you're a hero."

She basically calls them a hero

and makes them really start to believe in himself

for a little bit.

- The cop's gone to the man who's apple-bopping

and said to me, "Need to cancel the fireworks."

And he said, "No."

And then we cut to the head-to-horse man

and his wife again, driving down the road.

- There's a funny moment.

I don't know why this makes me laugh

when he, after he's rolled out of poor bobbin.

And then he says, "No, we're not canceling the fireworks."

He says, "Okay."

And he goes, "Are you sure?"

And he says, "Trick or treat."

And he says, "What?"

He says, "Smell my feet."

He goes, "What?"

He goes, "Smell my feet."

- "Smell my feet."

And he goes, "But do you actually want me

"to smell your feet?"

- It's just a weird bobbin.

- It is weird when he just turns around and walks around.

It's actually a power trip, actually, from the mayor.

- Makes me laugh for some reason.

- It's a really weird thing in there, but yeah.

So the dudes, they just drive down like a road

and there's like a scarecrow standing

in the middle of the road.

- Oh, the headless guy.

- Yeah, with the woman.

- That's true, and his girlfriend, yeah.

- And they just have to stop.

And he goes, "Oh, I'll go out and have a look."

And now I think he says to her to get out.

And she's, "Oh, look at her.

"You go and get out."

And he says, "You're the man.

"You can have a look."

And he's like, "Oh, okay."

- Sexist, sexist.

- So he goes, serve it to her. - It's both get out, yeah.

- And...

- It does look really lovely with fog and lightning.

It just looks so nice.

- It maybe reminded me how scary scarecrow can be.

- Oh yeah, scarecrow's great.

- And you just see what's to do.

- It's so simple and easy.

Yeah, because it looks like it's standing.

You think it's like a doll.

It's gonna move.

That's the whole thing.

You just stare at it.

And then your mind plays tricks on you.

So it's a good,

I might have to make a scarecrow for him now.

- It's a couple of good ones.

- It's so easy.

It's cheap to build the costume or the scarecrow.

- Yeah, certainly.

There's a couple of good scarecrow movies out there.

- Yeah.

Dark Knight of the Scarecrow.

- We should also mention that we keep getting this point

of view of whomever is back to be attacked.

We are seeing it through the eyes

from triangular eyes like a pumpkin mask almost.

So we get that again.

And Maya Rudolph, Lester's girlfriend is attacked.

And yeah, we end the scene there.

Hubee is now on the search for cooking Danielle the girls.

- His mom's got the Muff Diving School T-shirt.

We get wet.

- I love this.

- It says Muff Diving School, we get wet.

- So good.

- Yeah.

- It's so good.

- It does take me back to that shirt I think I've said on it

before when I bought it with cracks or whatever.

And didn't realize it was ass cracks

because I bought a Samson's going off

or his crack cocaine, which is equally just not really

that good, but I thought it was cool.

- I've got a super mario brothers T-shirt.

And it's got pictures of the super mario brothers on it.

And it says, cool for any plumbing needs.

And then underneath it says, we'll clean your pipes.

- Wow.

- And I've really never noticed that it says that

until like a couple of years back.

And I might shit.

I can't really wear this shirt around people

that will notice that and read that like my in-laws,

you know, we clean your pipes.

- Yeah.

- Hubey searches for the girls, Walter changes

and handcuffs himself.

So a bit of a bad moon reference there maybe.

And this is where-

- I don't think it's a bad moon reference.

- I don't think it is.

But this is where Rob Schneider shows up.

- Roy Schneider.

- Roy Schneider from Jules shows up.

And he knows these two know each other.

- Dun dun dun pig man's his brother.

- Well, not his brother, but they're just cell mates

from the asylum.

- I thought they're brothers.

- No, no, they're cell mates from the asylum.

- It's a mask off says we need to talk.

And it's, I thought that pig man that quite like,

"Whoa, and to me day and take some mask off."

You know, it's completely gone.

- But it's cool.

Cause we find out a bit more about them in a minute.

Well, Tommy from Stranger Things and the girl that he's with,

they, they meet Hubey and the sisters are with him.

So they're all reunited.

That's fine.

And he says, like, you need to stay inside.

So this reminds me of Halloween four now,

whether like you need to stay inside

or all gonna stay inside.

And Hubey says, I'm going to go and save the day.

He sees a dog outside.

- Yep.

- And he thinks, oh, this must be Steve Buscemi

fully transformed.

- And he's got a self put.

He says, you just stay right there.

And he throws a, I throw, he doesn't have a gun.

He throws the bullet at him.

- Yeah.

- And he's like, he eats it.

- He's talking to the dog and the dog starts pissing at him.

No, it's dog.

So it's eat it, shit it.

- And he's talking to him like it's a person.

Start doing that for you.

You know, are you eating your own food season

for enemies that when you're doing water?

- Come on, come on.

And then so he chases the dog

and they end up back around the back

of the haunted house attraction.

- And he just walks around freaking out

around the attraction basically.

- Of course.

He's very scared.

- Yeah, he hates it.

- Ray Liotta is outside and he says.

- I love it though, when he maces one of the

peri people in there supposed to be there to scare him.

He's like, who just maced me?

Oh my God.

- Yeah.

And they decide, well Ray Liotta decides,

I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna scare

the shit out of Hubey Dubois.

- Such a cunt, isn't he?

- Yeah.

But he gets snatched.

- And he's got a really bad clown wig on.

Ray Liotta.

- Like what a weird costume you're wearing,

really, Osa.

- And then Troy's chatting up like a 21 year old.

- Yeah, he tells him he's disgusting.

- Yeah.

- And then he says to her, right, well if I--

- Well, I'm gonna take it out.

Yeah, it was actually like--

- If I'm not gonna get to sleep with you,

then I'm gonna take it out,

take out my frustrations on Hubey

by going in and scaring the shit out of me.

- Which is quite deep in a way.

- And you're like, why?

Like what the fuck, that tells a lot about you

as a character.

- Yeah, man.

RAPY McRaperson.

So he gets snatched though, Ray Liotta.

So that's another victim that's gone as well.

And Hubey tells everybody that it's a werewolf.

It's Walter the werewolf.

No one believes him.

- So I had a joke upon look at that

'cause I don't think it's PC in there.

- Okay, that's fair enough.

And he says to everybody, it's Walter, he's a werewolf.

And then they get a call at the police station saying,

oh hang on, sorry, the police station then calls

and says, no, no, no, we've got Walter here.

And he's with Richie Hartman.

And it turns out that Walter escaped a few weeks ago

from the mental asylum.

Or as he calls it, the Institute for Werewolves.

He's set up camp next to, in a random house next to Hubey.

And his roommate is Richie Hartman, who escaped

because he missed him so much,

he wanted him to come back to the asylum with him.

And they're sort of there, they've known each other for years.

He's scratching Steve Buscemi like a dog.

And he says, what have you been up to

since you came to find me?

And Robert Schneider's like, oh, you know me,

pissing on this, pissing on that.

And he's like, oh, you do love pissing on things.

And he's like, yeah, I'm pissing right now.

And he's just sat there pissing himself

in the police station.

It's just like very random.

But it's fun, I like it.

So yeah, that kind of highlights that Hubey

do boy is talking nonsense.

And it's not a werewolf at all.

It's these two who are roommates.

So that's weird.

- He goes to the Witch FM, which is the radio show,

which is a nice name.

- Well, just before that,

he is actually blamed.

People start saying, maybe Hubey,

you're the one that's been snatching these people.

Maybe you want revenge on all the people

that have been mean to you.

- Oh yeah, they do go like, actually,

all these people hated you.

- So he runs off, and this is where he goes

to the radio station.

- And he's walking in going,

oh, look at this place.

And they're hearing on the speakers,

like the show, which is playing, which you get.

And he's walking along here in the female voice.

And he just looks through the glass window.

- A very sexy VMO voice.

- He looks through the glass window at the DJ.

And it's...

- It's Shaquille O'Neal.

(laughing)

- And he looks at him and goes, oh, okay.

I think we're gonna, well,

I think we're gonna play another song now.

- Yeah, it does like six months.

- Because I got a guest,

who I need to attend to.

Then he walks in and he goes,

- Hey, how you doing Hubey?

- Yeah, yeah.

- It's like, wow.

- And then his wife comes out

with a cup of tea for him and stuff.

And then she's going, hey, love a boy.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, it's very funny.

- And basically they say someone is called in.

Someone calls in and gives you a lot of requests for you,

puts a lot of requests through for you.

And they're like, maybe it's Violet, Violet Valentine.

She's the one that maybe loves you.

And then he's like, hmm,

maybe Violet's the one that's doing all of this.

- Why does he go to the DJ's radio station?

- Just because he's running away from the money.

And, oh, because he finds out that someone's been

putting a lot of requests in for him.

And he thinks he suspects that whoever that is

might be the person that's behind this.

- Okay.

- So then he starts thinking maybe it's Violet

that's doing it because she has showed

violent streets a few times.

She said, she threatened to beat people up for Hubey.

You know, so maybe it was Violet, maybe, maybe not.

So Hubey says to the cops,

I'll meet her at the lighthouse,

just like the lighthouse from the fog.

Great, great stuff.

And she's like, why am I here?

And he's like, because,

and the cops basically have said to him,

whoever it is, has got a burner phone.

So we're gonna ring it when you're with her.

And they ring the phone and it's not Violet's phone.

- Yeah, 'cause the cops are in like in a van

with headphones on, listening, like, you know,

he's got a bug on him, et cetera, et cetera.

And they're like, it is a safe word,

say that if it all has fails.

She walks up to him without saying anything,

and he says the safe word.

- Yeah, he's just,

- He said it. - Bumpkin.

- Bumpkin. - Bumpkin.

Bumpkin.

Like straight away, and like, he's just said it straight away.

Like, you know, no confession at all.

- So, yeah. - But they phone the,

they phone the phone, just as he says it,

and she doesn't have it on her.

And they're like, it's coming from your house, Hubey.

Have you checked the children?

- It's so good, it's so good,

he's got that line when he says that.

- Or black Christmas.

- Yeah, and they quickly exchange, I love yous,

so we know that there's definitely something between them.

- They declare love for each other, you know.

- Which is cute.

Well, we get back to his house,

he's like, "Mom, where are you, Mom?"

- His house has been absolutely trashed, hasn't it?

- Yeah, he's concerned for his mom, isn't he?

- Just before we see him get home, though,

see Prashemi's jogging in just like underwear.

He's all like, disheveled.

- Oh, he sees the mom, doesn't he?

- Hello, how are you doing?

- Yeah, house is trashed, and she's like,

"Yeah, it happens every year."

Hubey, yeah, so Hubey arrives,

and he sees all these people.

- He goes out the back of his house,

and he sees all these people, and he's like, "What?"

And it's all the people which we thought have died,

they're all tied up.

- They're all tied to stakes in the garden,

and you're like, "What's going on here?"

And then it turns out it's his mother.

- Where in a kayaking makes me work T-shirt.

- I love it.

- Yep.

- And she's pouring gasoline all over them,

and she basically reveals, "Today was the day

I wanted you to stand up for yourself,

because of all the bullying you've ever received,

and you didn't, so mama's gonna have to do it for you."

So this is a bit of your Friday the 13th night,

Pamela Vohy's upset the way her son was treated.

- Yeah, I do think at this point here,

it feels like it's going on a little bit enough.

I think it should have been cut down just a little bit more.

- Yeah, I think it seems to be going on a little bit longer.

- The flashbacks and stuff do go on for a little bit,

you're right, but I do like the bit

where she likes the match,

and flicks the match at the gasoline,

and he has only got a dribble of soup left,

and he flicks the dribble of soup,

and in slow motion, it midair extinguishes the match,

saves everybody.

- It's quite funny.

- Then the cops pull up,

and for some reason they've brought the maniacs with them,

the mental patients from the asylum,

'cause they, before the cops can even say anything,

Steve Poshemi says, "Nobody's shooting until I say so!"

And they've got their fingers out like guns,

and one of the cops is like, "Did we have to bring them?"

And he's like, "Yeah, I don't really know

why we did bring them, to be honest with you."

They've just brought the crazy guys with them

for no reason at all, which is quite funny.

They all say, "Sorry, we get a sweet,

you're typical Adam Sandler thing now,

where everybody says sorry,

and their reasons for bullying him.

"I'm sorry, it's really hard being the cool kid,

I'm sorry, I'm actually stupid,

I'm not even dyslexic, I'm just stupid,

I've got a low IQ, and I bully you

to make myself feel better," and all this kind of stuff.

- It does drag here, all right, that's right.

- But it's an Adam Sandler movie,

and it wouldn't be an Adam Sandler movie without everybody

being all nice at the end.

And they all say, "Sorry, Mum runs away,

'cause she does that, Frankenstein!"

There's a trick that people do, which is they go,

"Oh, Frankenstein!"

And you point, and while everyone looks around,

you run away, and Mumme does that at the end,

she goes, "Frankinstein!" and runs off.

And then Hubie's on TV, being interviewed,

and he confesses his undying love live on TV to Violet.

And then we cut to one year later.

- He is the mayor.

- He's the mayor of Salem, and it's Halloween,

and all the kids have got great Halloween costumes,

dressed as everybody from one year earlier,

to the cop, you know, and everyone that was in it,

all the different characters.

And yeah, he's the mayor, everything's cool,

happy Halloween to all, it says,

and then we get the end credits with all the outtakes,

and silly moments, and screaming.

- But yeah, well, I didn't stop with all this,

'cause yeah, you had 13 minutes of credits.

- Yeah, about five of them were outtakes,

the rest of it, it's all just like--

- But I tell you what, though,

that's a really stupid thing to do,

and it's such a bad idea,

'cause when you go watch a movie,

so often you're gonna, like, not me,

just in general, people could look at the timeline,

and be like, "Oh, I don't know,

"I just want a 90-minute movie."

This is hour 43, that means it's 13 minutes.

It actually is a 90-minute movie.

- That rule is kind of redundant, though,

because we're streaming now with Amazon Prime,

with Disney+, especially Disney+, and with Netflix.

When the film finishes,

there's still usually five minutes left of thank yous

to other countries who've done the dubbing and that,

so actually the film itself

isn't 13 more minutes of credits.

It's probably only about five or six minutes of credits,

and then after that, the film itself would have ended,

but because it's on Netflix,

they then have to add all this extra stuff in

that isn't anything to do with it.

So, like, when you watch an episode

of one of the new Marvel shows, for example, "Loki,"

you press play, and it says 57 minutes.

You're like, "Wow, this is a one-hour episode,"

but the episode is actually only about 40 minutes,

and then there's the credits,

and then after the credits, there's 10 minutes

of foreign language stuff

that isn't anything to do with it.

So you don't need to worry about that.

So I get what you're saying,

but actually, with streaming these days,

you should always take about five to 10 minutes

off of runtime.

- I think regardless to that,

if you're, some people aren't gonna think like that at all,

and as you can see that,

and they could go one hour 43,

and now I'm not gonna watch it.

But if it'd been naughty,

there'd been a year of watching.

- But I think the credits are fun,

'cause it's got some of the funnier bits

from earlier in the year,

and you get loads of outtakes as well.

I stopped it at that point, I was like,

- Oh, you should always watch the outtakes.

People have worked hard on these things, Gav, and--

- But they're also outtakes for a reason.

- No, but I mean, the credits, you know,

I watched the very last credit on every film I watched,

because I wanna show that respect

to the people in the crew.

So for the same reason I clap when I'm in the cinema,

you know, when the film comes to an end,

people think that's weird, but I've always done it.

- Okay.

- I'm joking.

(laughing)

- I was just like, I don't remember you doing that.

All right, okay.

- And I do watch the credits occasionally,

but I don't always watch the right thing.

But I did on this one just 'cause there might have been

a scene at the end and there wasn't--

- Sarah and I do, because we're sitting in sort of

mongering out, watching the end of the credits,

going, "Oh, I'm gonna turn it off a minute,"

but we're like, "There might be a funny name."

(laughing)

I like to get the funny names.

- I know what sort of film will have something

either during or after the end credits, so I know.

And if it's a film I've seen a million times,

then I know I don't need to watch it.

But with some of the films I love,

because the songs that play over the end credits,

sometimes you wanna hear that song as well,

you know what I mean?

Like an 80s film, wasn't they?

You wanna hear that song.

But anyway, regardless of all of that,

that was "Huby Halloween."

We, you and I, I and you,

both fell in love with this film.

This is the fourth time I've seen it now.

- Yeah, I've probably seen it about that, mate, Tom.

- I watched it a couple of weeks before reviewing it

'cause I wanted my kids to watch it.

And they're kind of like,

we're a bit scared by some of it,

which is fair enough, there are any two.

But yeah, it's good fun.

And look, I know that people are gonna sort of say

the same things they said about you and I

reviewing "American Werewolf in Paris."

But it's our show, and we love "Huby Halloween."

- I like it. - We recommend it.

We give it a thumbs up.

And it's just an innocent, fun vibe,

and pairs up well with "About to Consol"

and "Meet Rengenstein."

- I'm pretty sure someone that has gone on

or watching that movie,

is listen to us talk about, rave about,

it's going, "Oh, cool, I'm gonna check out a movie."

Then they're gonna comment on Facebook and say,

"Fuck you guys, I watched that movie, I still don't like it."

- Yeah, and that's fair enough, man.

- Yeah, I get it, I get it.

- Some people won't like his voice in it.

Some people won't like his man child.

- I was just like, I'm into it.

- Some people, some people won't like the dick and fart jokes,

but we love all of that shit.

- No, isn't that me, dick and fart jokes?

It's not one fart joke, is it?

- There's loads of dick and fart jokes.

All the way through it is,

sometimes wearing t-shirts about boners and get me wet.

- Yeah, but that's not a fart joke, man.

- Yeah, but dick and fart isn't about dick and fart.

Dick and fart is a phrase you use

when you're talking about jettetalia jokes,

like jokes about that kind of thing.

- Okay.

- And there is some farting in it,

and the dog eats his own shit.

- Right, let's get out of here.

(laughing)

- Bye!

- Bye!

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- And we're back.

- We're back again, that was episode 142.

That was Halloween for 2023.

We covered an Adam Sandler film, Gavin,

that was weird, isn't it?

- Yeah, yeah.

- But we had a lot of fun.

I hope you guys did too.

And I hope that you,

if you haven't seen either of these films,

that you watch one of them or both of them,

and you like one of them or both of them,

because that's what our goal is, really.

They're fun, and I hope that you enjoyed them.

So that's that.

Happy Halloween, Gav, happy Halloween, everybody.

- I hope you're having some nice treats in your mouth.

- We don't eat on the podcast anymore, do we?

- No, no, 'cause I've always been sucking

on one of those frozen twigs.

- Sucking on something in Amsterdam.

(screaming)

- Oh dear.

- No. - Daddy!

- No, don't say daddy, Jesus.

No, let's talk about what's coming up next.

- What is next?

- Episode 143 is next, and that is a patron pick.

And I can now confirm that our patron, Rachel.

- Hey, Rachel.

- And Rach, I must say that Gav does not know

what I'm about to say, so this is gonna be

supposed to him as well.

- I have no idea.

- We are gonna be covering your two picks.

First one is from 2020, and that is the film called Run.

- I've never heard of it.

- Yes, well, I think I've heard of it,

but I've never seen it, and I know you haven't seen it either.

And that's with Sarah Paulson, which a lot of people

will know from American Horror Story,

and she's been in loads of horror films, basically.

If I could give you a little synopsis gap of it.

It came out in 2020, and it says,

"A homeschool teenager begins to suspect

"that her mother is keeping a very dark secret from her."

- Oh, that sounds good, especially as my middle child

is now homeschooled, and she is also a teenager.

- Yeah, so I think that's gonna be a good one.

So, and the other one, I know you're gonna be very excited

about the other one,

'cause I know you were watching it recently.

The other one is gonna be a 2017 movie,

starring Nicholas Cage.

- What is it?

- And Rachel is asking us to review Mom and Dad.

- Oh, okay, so we're both basically,

I don't know where she's coming with this,

it's both like parental doing something to your kids.

- Parental paranoia, yeah.

Parental paranoia.

- What's going on, Rach?

(laughing)

- Well, she said she was blown away by run.

She did have another movie,

but then she swapped out last minute and said,

"Actually, I really want you to cover Mom and Dad."

And I was like, look, we love talking about Nicholas Cage.

- What was he ever a film?

- It was a film called "Nowhere," I believe.

- Okay. - Which is about a pregnant

asylum seeker stranded on a cargo.

- Oh yeah, that's got to be one.

- A shipping container or something?

- I'm glad then, 'cause that sounds quite like,

I've seen that, and I don't wanna watch that.

I don't wanna have a pregnant woman

in a shipping container.

To me, that's just like, oh no, no,

I feel so bad for them, I'm glad.

- So we're covering run from 2020

and Mom and Dad from 2017, which is great.

Excited to do that.

Thank you, Rach, for getting that back to us.

- There's an amusing bit in it when in Nicholas Cage's

Mom and Dad turn up, just,

"My Dad, Mom, what are you doing here?"

And then they just stab him.

- So good.

So that's that, and then episode 140 before.

- It was funny, 'cause I picked that up not long ago

because my teenagers did my fucking edit.

(laughing)

- I remember you saying that.

- I picked up for release.

- So after that, it'll be episode 144.

We're gonna be traveling to New York

in the early 80s for Basket Case from 1982 and Chud.

- '82 Basket Case, fuck me.

'89 New York.

- And Chud from 1984, so very early 80s New York stuff.

- Jesus.

- There's some practical effects going on.

- You should talk about a crack.

- Yeah, there'll be some crack going on.

And then episode 145 after that,

we'll be looking at some anthologies.

We'll be finally getting around to the Twilight Zone movie

from 1983.

- I know it, I've been known for ages.

At one point I was like,

"I'm sure we're doing a Twilight Zone movie

"because I fancy watching it."

Okay.

- Twilight Zone movie from 1983.

There'll be some really interesting stuff

to talk about with that one.

- Is that the one with the helicopter incident?

- Yeah.

And also--

- I guess that's gonna be World of Strange.

- Yeah, probably will be.

And we'll also be looking at Cat's Eye from 1985.

- Which I have in a Stephen King DVD,

like little box set thing, and I've never seen it.

- It's so good, I love it, I love it.

- I'm interested in watching that, so that'd be good.

- So that's our next three episodes.

And then our fourth episode after that

will probably looks like it'll be our Christmas episode.

- Whoa, I forget the episode.

- Which we should do soon, these three episodes.

So it should be fine.

Yeah, Christmas will be National Lampoon's

Christmas vacation.

That'll be our 10 year anniversary as well, so, woo-hoo.

- Yeah, it's exciting.

- Exciting.

- I'll get some eggnog for that,

but obviously in the non-alcoholic style.

- Indeed, indeed, indeed.

- Right, okay, well that's good.

- There we go, so yes, that's what's coming up.

So thank you, Rachel, as well.

So let's do some admin.

Then we can say our goodbyes and fuck off home.

- Indeed.

- Well, we're home.

- Well, yeah, yeah.

- You know what I mean?

Yes, no. - You come to my home,

I'll go to your home.

- All right, weird, but let's do it.

- I think the kids would be confused, wouldn't they?

When daddy comes to, I've got beer and glasses, though,

so I'll come up some, oh yeah, never like,

it was wrong with dad.

- Yeah, I'm not sure what they'd make of that.

That'd be quite funny.

- I think they'd shit themselves, then.

- Oh, they would shit themselves early

when I put my skeleton mask on.

Well, that wasn't, but Edith was really worried about it.

She kept going, "It's just daddy, it's just daddy."

And I didn't say anything, I just stared at her silently

until I could tell that she was starting

to get a little bit worried, so then I took the mask off

and she said, "Cado?"

I said, "Yeah, let's have a cuddle."

That was mean, very mean.

We have been the podcast on a wanted hill.

Thank you for listening, everybody.

We are a proud member of the Legion podcasts network.

Couldn't put my teeth in them when I said that.

To find out more about them, go to legionpodcasts.com

We are on there as are all the other shows

under the network.

You can find out more about them on Facebook.

Just go to the Legion podcast page on Facebook.

If you want to have fun and come to our page,

the podcast on a haunted hill, especially this time of year,

then join us. - If you want to have fun,

come with us.

Come with me if you want to live.

We have a lot of fun, especially in October,

but all year round, so you can join,

you can tell us what you're watching,

what you hate, what you love, trailers,

you know, that kind of stuff.

- I put up random stuff.

Recently, I'm gonna talk about now,

'cause not one fucking person liked or commented on it.

I took a still shot of Dirty Harry,

it's a Dirty Harry movie where there's some bent cops in it,

where they are like a crack-firing crew,

and they're going around just killing people and stuff.

And he meets them, sorry if it's tangent,

so Dirty Harry meets them in the firing range

and says, "You boys come, come see me soon,

yeah, I want to put just together a team."

And at that point, then I was like, "Oh my God,

I'd love to see Clint Eastwood running this team

of crack-firing, like cops going around

taking out the bad guys in San Francisco."

And that's what I put on Facebook,

and no one commented, "Dan, give me some comment from that."

- Oh, I did see it, I thought I commented,

sorry if I did it, but yeah, I agree.

'Cause that was the last Dirty Harry movie I watched,

fun enough.

- So you noticed that bit, I mean?

- Yeah, I noticed that bit, and I thought,

"Wow, that's cool that he saw something in those guys

that he thought, well, they're badasses."

And I thought they could be like,

yeah, and I thought he could make a real bad-ass crew

taking out the baddies.

- They turned out to be the baddies, they didn't make.

- But yeah, spoiler.

- Sorry, it's like a 45-year-old film.

And where were we at?

Yes, Facebook, so that's that.

And wherever you're listening to us now

is where you can continue to listen to us.

We are on Spotify, YouTube,

and all other podcatchers and podcast platforms,

Apple, and all that business.

- I think it is a major one,

Shutting Down Stitcher, is it?

- Not sure.

- There's one of them, is there gonna be no more?

- Oh, goodbye, whoever you were.

We're also on Instagram,

just go to the podcast on Wanted Hill, Instagram.

And also we mentioned our Star Wars film

that's coming out, Star Wars Sanctuary Moons.

- Sanctuary of November.

- And that's going through Deadbolt Films,

which is our production company.

- So go on to YouTube right now,

look up Deadbolt Films and subscribe.

- Subscribe, and hit the bell.

Get other notifications.

Yeah, Deadbolt Films YouTube channel.

You can go to deadboltfilms.com.

We're on Instagram under Deadbolt Films as well.

- Even if you wanna come on, watch the Star Wars film,

comment how shit you think it is in a while.

Bad job we've done.

That's fine by me.

- That is fine.

I should also mention that we have an email address,

which is thepodcastonHauntedHill

- Do you check it? - At outlook.com.

- Do you check it?

- Sorry?

- Do you check?

- Yeah, I check it regularly.

Look, I'm actually looking at it right now.

- I don't actually ever check X.

- Oh, God, we're not on it anymore, so.

- Twitter.

- Yeah.

You've blood bled your mind like on the last episode,

and I told you it was called X.

- It's fucking X.

I was like, oh.

- I think I actually personally believe

it's been shut down, and the first step is,

let's change it to a name that no one likes,

'cause no one really uses it anymore.

And I think Elon Musk just thinks

it's just not a very positive thing

in the time of the world, so let's get rid of it.

- It is all a bit weird.

- And finally, Patreon.

If you want to become a patron and support the show

and help the show grow, and as well as that,

you get to get some little freebies,

like a free t-shirt, which we will post to you

no matter where you are,

and it will get to you eventually, won't it, Don Goya?

But eventually, you also get back episodes,

you get bonus episodes, video content,

and also a shout out at the end of every episode.

Then all you need to do is go to Patreon,

and search for the podcast on OntoDale.

If you can't find it, then hit me up either on Facebook

or on that email address,

which is the podcast on OntoDale@outlook.com,

and you can become a patron.

And as well as all of those freebie things,

you also get to pick your two films to be reviewed by us.

And every three episodes is a patron pick.

As I mentioned, Rachel is next.

Two episodes after that, they'll be back to Matthew Godley,

and I've already been talking to him about his,

talking to him last night, in fact, about his picks.

So that's exciting.

So, yes, patron, patron, patron,

and thank you to our patrons.

- We love you so much.

- Thank you for helping to support us.

- Yeah, thank you. - But if it's--

- Glad we entertain you.

- As little as one pound or a dollar a month,

it doesn't matter, it's beautiful of you to do so.

And I'm now going to read out

all of the patrons in Stupid Voices.

So thank you very much to Dan Goya.

- Thank you.

- Matthew Godley.

- Thank you.

- Jamie Jenkins.

- Thank you.

- Kevin Irthfair.

- Thank you.

- Sarah Kay.

- Thank you.

- Rachel.

- Thank you.

- Jamie Creedie.

- Thank you.

- And Alex Abu.

- Okay, thank you.

I just wanted to, never know what you could do next.

- Never know.

You never know, I don't--

- Thank you so much for that.

I'm glad that hopefully,

Dan's brain changing into different voices

for your name is worth worthy of your,

worthy of your hard earned cash.

Thank you.

- Also, you get to pick, you know.

- No, no, no, there's all the other benefits as well.

And I was gonna say that I was gonna do some fucking

more video stuff for Halloween and stuff.

And I haven't, and I've just been working

on this bloody Star Wars film.

- That's all good, it's all good.

So happy Halloween, Gavin, happy Halloween everybody.

- Trick or treat. - Be safe.

- Hope you all had a wonderful time of the year,

October, watched lots of spooky films.

- And have been safe.

- And all your teeth had fallen out

from eating too much candy.

So, I guess we should say good night.

- Good night.

- It's a good night for me.

Here we do, blah.

- It's a good night for Ray Liotta.

- Oh, and a clown, my wig.

- Just trying to honor with young girls.

- It's a good night from Steve Buscemi

taking a shit in the corner of your basement

on a newspaper.

Imagine finding that, Jesus Christ.

- Good night from Aberkent Stello.

- Yep.

- It's a good night from you.

- And it's a good night from every single phone I pick up.

Lon Chaney Jr. is on the other end of it,

talking to me about crates.

- Tell me the monsters around and Dracula

and he's a wolf man, I can't take it.

- What crates, what crates?

- It's a good night for me, take care, look under the--

- Good night.

Bed, make sure. - Trick or treat.

- Last time it was Jimmy Savile, this time, oh, don't know.

- And if you get up, Sadam,

be careful when you put your willy.

- Oh, look under the bed for your dad, good night.

- Oh!

- Thank you for listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill.

We will be back again real soon.

(upbeat music)

♪ So we stand, stand ♪

♪ So we stand, stand ♪

- Oh, no tears please.

♪ So we stand, stand ♪

♪ So we stand, stand ♪

♪ So we stand, stand ♪

♪ So we stand ♪

(laughing)

(laughing)

(dramatic music)

(whistling)

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