The Podcast on Haunted Hill

The podcast on haunted hill will contain spoilers and swearing.

I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.

I saw this icon.

Be one of us.

I didn't tell you my name.

I didn't tell you my name.

I didn't tell you my name.

It is time to keep your opinion.

Hello and welcome to the podcast on haunted hill, episode 143.

My name is Dan.

You are Torch Bears through the dark slimy tunnel of horror movies from yesterday.

But also from not so long ago.

We tried to get a proper attraction.

Yes, welcome to haunted hill.

Can't we talk about future maybe?

Well, not unless I managed to get the time machine working in a very special way.

But then it goes back in time.

Well, in January our first episode will be the time machine.

Indeed.

I know you are.

I will probably have to dust off some of the gears and get the blue barrier on some of it.

Yeah, you know, there are levers.

For anyone who doesn't know, we go back in time and look at the year of horror.

From the year just gone because we can't do all the time anymore.

We caught up with ourselves.

We caught up.

Its a lady's weapon.

We are the podcasts on all to do.

Welcome, welcome, welcome everybody, welcome.

Welcome.

Welcome Your Old New, yes, your first time,

and if it's not your first time, then you know,

how roughly it can get.

Hello.

Thank you.

What other stuff?

This is a special episode.

For anyone who doesn't know, we have patrons.

Ragan, but we do.

We have patron supporters.

And one of the benefits of being a patron of the podcast on all to do is that every three episodes,

it is, what is it got?

It's a page.

Page.

A true.

Page.

We did that so scene this year.

And the thing, the annoying thing is, you and I recorded a little musical thing for that.

We did.

We did.

And I lost it.

How's it going?

Yeah, we did.

We were together and we just did it and I lost it.

We got in the booth.

We sang.

You know, it was like that scene from Feed the World, you know, with the bulk of everyone

in the studio.

We really.

I look, I look.

Well, you know listeners.

If it comes up with some weird musical motifs that Dan and I have come up with at the beginning

of it in a bit, you know, I found it.

And if it doesn't, I didn't find it.

But this patron pick, our patron Rachel has, she wears the crown for this episode.

She is the queen, queen patron for the episode.

She dictates and she has dictated what we will be reviewing.

She's also sent me a little blurb as well, a little bit of information.

Thank you.

Thank you, Rachel.

We've known Rachel a long time.

Gav has especially known her a lot longer.

Yeah, very different.

A real life friend is in someone we've met, Gav has certainly met several times and I've met

a couple of times.

From back in the day, a long time you've known Rachel, she's always been a great friend,

very supportive and you know, in the way that she is a patron supporter as well.

And a little bit more.

Oh, a lover.

She loves horror.

She is one of the, one of the fold.

Yes, she is indeed.

And she's an Irish woman with tattoos, so make of that what you will.

She is a horror Irish woman with tattoos.

She loves her horror and yeah, she's definitely part of the club, the gang.

We love her.

We love you, Rachel.

She's a bit mischievous now, though, because she's not actually on the internet.

I know, it's like she doesn't exist, but then she doesn't even listen to this.

Ooh, well, if you don't, then up yours.

No, she will.

She will.

Yeah, no, she will.

She really wanted to actually record with us, but she mentions briefly in a message, I think,

because...

A lovely, it's just so hard.

You know, sometimes struggle just to do it on the internet together.

Yeah, it would be great.

And that offer definitely something will take you up on someday, Rachel.

One day when Gab and I get back together, because we do occasionally recording the flashes.

I would say next year, we'll just organise something.

Next year, I'll say, you come here for a long weekend.

You can record a couple of episodes.

And we'll get Rachel.

And just say, Rachel, come over as well.

Yeah.

And we'll just do that in a sum time.

But let's tell everybody what she's chosen for her.

So she has chosen two films that have a bit of a theme.

Yeah.

Okay.

Got what we're going to say.

No, it doesn't matter.

Okay.

Two films that have a bit of a theme.

That theme being parents that aren't particularly very nice to their children.

Yeah, it's funny, really.

I could actually relate to Mom and Dad, because my history of Mom and Dad is very, very frequent.

And Daisy, my middle child, is between 13 and 14.

She is now weeks away from being 14, actually.

Makes me really happy.

And she's coming through the other side.

She's got a wall of fuckery.

I don't know what to call it.

I don't know what it was.

It was a wall of sh*tness.

I think fuckery is very good.

And it was extreme.

It was extreme.

But she's got through it now.

And when she was doing that, I actually saw this movie in a charity shop and went, "I'm

watching that tonight."

And it was my way of taking out my anger on her from watching this movie about parents

getting their kids.

Think what you will of me.

You can still call it.

The psychological thing.

You can read it.

Any way you like.

But that's my history of every reason.

So I watched it and I'll forget that.

And I'm lucky.

Had it still the other day.

So I was going to get rid of it after watching it.

And I still had it.

So I watched that copy.

Which was good.

I can relate to Rachel because I know she does also have children.

The same age as me and three of them as well.

And I know that where she's coming from is Rachel.

I understand.

Any other parent out there.

I understand.

I think as I, who is that movie Ainda?

Is it Ainda Youth or Ainda Parents?

It's a good mix, actually.

I think it's older youth possibly.

It's like your 1920s possibly.

And definitely are Rachel.

You know, I've got kids.

I also, I would also say it's aimed at young teens because the horror in that is what if you're parents?

Who you're always, you hate.

You've got both.

They actually what are trying to kill you?

That's the horror, isn't it?

Yeah, and I imagine that some kids when they might have had watched a horror movie and looked at them.

I wonder if my parents would kill me.

And it's like in a part of the fall.

And obviously absolutely thinking it.

But you know, so I guess it relates to different levels.

But anyway, I'm with Rachel on this, on the parent level.

I completely got, well, I was watching it again, Ganya.

I know why you picked this as well.

Well, the two, the two movies are one of them you already know.

No, no, mom and dad.

That's mom.

I'm saying it the American way or the Scottish way mom and dad.

Starring Nicholas Cage and Selma Blair.

So we get another chance to talk about the fabulous Mr Cage, which is always welcome.

So thank you to that Rachel.

And the other movie is a very quite a new movie from any country.

It's the first time fully starring modern day screen queen herself Sarah Paulson.

And that is a movie called Run.

What's she been in then?

The shit tons of horror films, Gav TV shows.

American Horror Story.

She's like everywhere.

Sarah Paulson.

I've not really seen American Horror Story.

Okay, she's literally like the stream queen of the last sort of five or six more more years really.

She's fantastic actress.

So you must be very good character actress and I've just not known her in the movie.

Maybe.

But yes, run from 2020.

So that is the two movies we will be chatting about.

I will read your message outrage in parts because when you talk about the films,

there are a couple of little spoilers.

And although we do spoil them anyway, I feel like it might be better to give us your,

I'll read out what you thought of the film after we've talked about it.

So that in the wrap up of each movie.

But I will read out the first third of your message before we do that.

But before we get to all of that, before we talk about these movies,

our queen patron Rachel has chosen for us.

Gavin, how are you?

What have you been doing?

What's going on in your life, my friend?

I tell you what I do want to do.

I haven't done what I want to do.

I want to go to cinema if I can find time to go watch Thanksgiving, eat a Ross New film.

Yes, I feel like no one's talked about it whatsoever.

It's been getting middle of the road reviews.

I went up for it.

I'm thinking I've been nice.

It's an original film.

From the grindhouse fake trailer though.

That's why I do love the connection there though.

I think we will like it because we're right here.

It's a very light on plot, but very heavy on gore and got some really good death scenes.

He grew up watching the same as I was 80 slashers.

So I'm looking forward to his 80 slasher.

Eli Roth is...

He's an up and downer.

He did a couple of good ones and a couple of bad ones.

Then he came back.

It's weird because it does like Camerawfish.

But then like hostels like a real boom.

Here I am.

Then he didn't do anything like that.

But then he did that zombie...

Can I be real green?

Because he loves that and Sean wrote a film.

And you've got to go, I don't even know what it is, I'm not a great fan of it.

It's commendable that he made the movie that he wanted to make.

And again though, it's quite out there to go and make a few houses make a cannibal movies nowadays.

So it was kind of like, "Oh, okay, it's kind of weird."

So I don't know, he's such a weird one.

But then he goes, "Not with Eli Roth."

"Fuck his ass shit."

I quite like "Not Knock."

There's all of it.

Well, I mean while we're talking about that, let's have a very quick chat.

You and I were just talking about, "Oh, air, there's a couple of stuff, bits and bobs coming out that we're excited about."

One of them is Robert Ego's "Nusfor R2" movie.

I'm excited for this.

I've seen a clip of it.

Sorry, a little clip of a picture, a still image of it.

Just a shadow.

There's going to be a lot of you who's shadow in music.

But I've really liked Robert Ego.

So I'm excited to see what he does with "Nusfor R2."

The other movie, which is not horror, but is 80s, which is still in our, our little field of expertise, is the actual Foley movie.

"Pim, pim, pim, pim."

Yeah, I literally days ago saw a picture of Aqua Foley.

Why?

The fuck doesn't Eddie Murphy look a day older than he did in the late 80s?

It's crazy.

But it looks like it might be all right.

There's been a lot of these late sequels like "Bill and Ted" and a few other things that haven't been as good.

No, "Bill and Ted" wasn't.

I'm happy to see.

Robert, the problem is over these films.

It's who they're marking it to.

They're marking it too.

They're trying to get into a new audience.

That's why generally you get ghost bastards.

You introduce the younger characters.

But this, and he's going to, that's probably what happened in this.

There are second greeners in it and there's a couple of younger people in this as well.

Yeah, so that's what's going to happen.

Because you have to.

But that entire original cast.

I've always been just for us.

Well, the entire original cast is back as well.

I know, I can't wait actually.

Billy.

Yeah, and to be honest with you, Eddie Murphy, I watched a newer film of his a few weeks back.

I don't mind Eddie Murphy at all still.

There's a film on Netflix called "You People" with Jonah Hill.

Yeah, I was in it.

Really, he's really funny in it and made me remember just how funny Eddie Murphy can be.

Because he has a lot of comedians.

He's got sort of a bit crap for a while there.

But I feel like that might be quite good fun.

You mentioned it.

We'll talk about it.

The ghost busters frozen empire trainer.

Yeah, I'm happy that's still as cool.

I like snow and ice.

So, then I'm on the ghost busters.

It's a park, yeah.

Film array, they're all in it.

Everyone's in it again.

So, but this time it's going to be some ice and some snow.

It looks like across between the day after tomorrow in ghost busters where everything freezes suddenly.

And then the ghost busters have to go and save the day.

Fuck it, I'm into that.

Yeah, that's it again.

I'm happy to go and watch a ghost busters movie and say, well, I'm happy to watch a Beverly Hills cut movie.

That's probably Netflix actually, isn't it?

I think it is Netflix that one, yeah.

Speaking of Netflix, did you check out the killer David Fincher's new movie on the Michael Fassbender?

I have not seen it though.

Yeah, chill out.

It's kind of weird.

I always use Sarah.

Sarah can come down to me because we watch Star Wars coming out for Star Wars premiere, which we can talk about in a minute.

She came down and I always use hers my explanation when I get confused in Lost in Films, which is very often.

I sit there and this mist comes over my brain.

And I go, I don't know what's going on.

Sarah, and I'm like, Sarah, I don't know.

There's a bunch of me don't know.

Why don't you know?

I don't know what's going on.

But I'm liking it.

And I said, yeah, I'm liking it too.

But anyway, Michael Fassbender, it's just him and the rating, he's quite quiet in the film, but a lot of him narrating about just being this killer.

And he, he, I don't know, spoil it really. It's very early on. He fucks up a shot.

And then the rest of the movie's him trying to get that target, I think.

Because I don't know exactly.

But it was quite enjoyable watching him just kill people.

Sarah, Michael Fassbender's okay.

Yeah, the fincher, you know, did seven and that.

Yeah, the fincher's a good director.

I hated Zodiac, but I like everything else he's done.

What I did watch as a movie, which is, which is really odd movie called men.

Oh, God, I fucking hated it.

I like the fact that you've got Rory Kinner, who plays Jo Freaking.

I can, I can, I can, I can, plays every character.

I like that because that was just really back, back kind of rural like, I like it all in bread.

And that's the idea I guess.

So what's on there?

Big spoilers.

I did talk about this one about six months ago, but I watched it because I'd heard,

and I know Kate Pollock is a huge fan of this film.

And a lot of people really put this in their sort of top 10 of the year when it came out.

What was it, 21, 22?

Yeah, it's something like that.

But I find the whole premise ridiculous.

I liked it to until about about four, about an hour.

And then again, I didn't know what was going on.

It was just, if you're trying to say something, just say it, but it felt like it was beating

around the bush and I don't know.

It felt like there was a really good idea in there somewhere, but the ending just made me

hate the film really, you know.

Just a man giving birth to himself over and over.

Yeah.

It was a start, I was just hoping.

Which is great, a great, it sounds great when you say it, you know, and, oh yeah,

have you seen the ending that film, a man gives birth to himself?

But when you watch it, you're like, this is shit really.

Sarah's like, oh, you weren't liking it.

It's like, it's body horror stuff and I'm not a big body horror fan.

And I watched it and I was like, no, then it bothered me because it blatantly seemed to be

like it.

It's just like, like I said, it's a great idea.

One, but every person in this village is the same man playing them.

I like that.

Yeah, but that is creepy as all shit.

But then it's like the ending.

And I can actually tangent from that onto a movie that I've watched with my wife.

Very quickly, the naked guy, they have all the spots for stuff over him with his old shit there as well.

That's my new term, creepy as old shit.

So I'll bring board onto a movie that I watched from 2022, but I only watched it a couple of weeks back.

And that is the one that everyone was talking about when it hit Netflix and that is full of FAA double L.

You've seen it a lot of people have.

I saw a fry fest.

Yeah, and I watched that with my wife.

Now I really liked it.

I really enjoyed it.

It was fucking tense.

I pulled that to the screen.

I pulled that to the screen.

They're fucking not the first, but the second right at fry fest on the screen there.

And I was like, mark and luckily people behind us had gone.

And he was like, let's go and I was like, fuck it.

And we went back just before it started to die.

Other seats.

Otherwise, we had been looking up at this.

Just like, what the hell?

It had got a nose bleed.

It's a great, great idea for a single location.

It's kind of like your 47 meters down.

All these movies were so much.

People would be there.

My wife even said to me, this would make a great double bill with Frozen.

Yeah.

The Adam Green movie.

But I loved it.

My wife hated the ending.

And I understand you were with this girl all the way through it.

And there's a great twist, which I went through, because it's still quite a new film.

And then right at the end, you don't see how she's what happens.

The helicopter's just, and she's down, and that's it.

Doesn't show you.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Anything.

It just ends.

Yeah.

But I could forgive that.

I said to my wife, I forgive that because I enjoyed, like, it was like a roller coaster ride.

And I enjoyed all the loops and twists.

And the last part of the roller coaster wasn't that great.

Enjoy the ride.

It's the fun thing.

It's the thing you go to Jason Bloom with your idea.

It's that thing that he goes, oh, that's a great idea.

It's that someone had to go and make that film at some point, and they got made.

And that's why you go watch it.

You like the lead up to it.

You like them going up at climbing up, because you're going, ah, you're going to get start.

Because you enjoy it.

Like the reason I like true crime, you should like that.

And then it gets up.

But then, yeah, then you're there.

And you're like, it's like you're there with them.

Yeah.

But there was a good twist in it.

And there were some clever things that I didn't expect them to do.

And clever obstacles, I didn't expect them to have to overcome.

So, yeah, it's so good.

I gave it a 10.

I really enjoyed it.

Talking of wild rides, gap.

I wouldn't give it a 10, though.

I'd give it a 6 out of 10.

Yeah.

I and I gave it a 10.

Yeah, but you're very, you're very, uh, giving with your, I think on my next watch,

it might drop down to like seven, but right now, I was pretty much there.

Well, I was pretty much there.

Still pretty fucking high.

Yeah.

I thought it was a very good film.

Yeah.

Talking of wild rides, I went to a Greek island.

Oh, okay.

It's not like some sort of video collection you used to watch.

And I watched the film called Island of Death from 1976.

Ah, that.

You, you, you, you nice to talk chat about this a little bit.

And I, yeah, that's one for me.

No, actually, that's going to sound bad when you actually explain what it's about.

It's a bad, but it's a weird thing that Sarah and I would probably watch.

Not really what it's about.

Q Dan.

It, well, let me put it this way.

I'll list some of the things that you will see in this film.

And this is not why I thought it'd be for me in Sarah disclaimer.

B.C.

Dissolation.

Mainly a goat to get in fucked up the ass.

Pissing on people.

Murder.

Harrowing.

People getting their faces melted off with an aerosol can on a candle.

People getting thrown in a pit of light to rot away in the rain.

Someone getting buggered at the ass in a farm hut.

And I mean, there's probably about 30 other things that I can't, oh,

two people decide to have sex in front of one of their mums.

Just to annoy her.

Basically, this is a film that was made by what's the director's name?

Let me just find it for you.

He wanted to make a film that would be as shocking as the text

of "Change the Massacre" obviously.

This became a 1976 film I'm talking about.

It's by Nico Masterrakis.

And basically, it's about a man and a woman who, and not, you know,

this is a very old film, so it's no spoiler.

Turns out their brother and sister as well.

But it's a pair of lovers who are like body and Clyde.

And they're really, they're into killing and mutilation and raping as many people and animals as they can.

And they're American and they get to this Greek island.

And they just cause chaos on this Greek island.

And everybody on the geek island is like, well, people keep dying on this island.

I don't understand what's happening.

And then there's a cop trying to hunt them down who's come over from America

or the Oram London I can't remember where he's come from.

And it's just, it really held my interest.

And I can't, I can't wait for the life of me tell you how it made its way onto my watch list.

Someone must have suggested that to me years ago.

I put it on, and by the time it, within 10 minutes, there's a goat being bugged by a man.

And I'm thinking, what, what am I watching here?

Yeah.

But by the end of it, I was like, that was great.

These two horrible people got everything that was coming to them.

But also there was quite a lot of twists and turns and uncomfortable scenes.

I had to pause it a few times because Alice was in the room.

And I was like, apparently this next scene is pretty bad.

And she went, okay, I went, do you want to leave the room?

She went, no, I went right while I'm going to pause it because I don't want you to see what's coming out.

Because some of it was really like, it was a video nasty.

It was banned for years.

So I had to pause the end 20 minutes until I should go on to bed.

And then I watched all the terrible buggery happening.

Oh, I've gone to bed, going back on the buggery.

But I recommend Ireland of Death.

You can rent it on Prime, but it's a bare mind.

It's one of those video nasty that I could understand exactly why it was banned.

Some of them, you're like, why was that banned?

That this one should have been banned.

And it's tame compared to things that are out there.

And I just, disclaimer, just thought, I wouldn't like that, but not for those reasons.

When I told Gav dear listeners about this, he was like, oh, Sarah's gone.

As soon as I got to the bit about goat sort of me, he was like, what?

She's going to love it.

She's going to go bumming.

She's a very good vegetarian.

Cheers.

Anything else you've been watching?

I've got a couple more, but is there anything else you've been watching?

It's not a horror, but I really enjoy watching the other day.

A lot of you are over that, but he's kind of ignoring me.

He's watching YouTube, you're saying.

I was kind of watching TV in the background.

And if he's in the room, he's not.

I can only watch certain stuff.

He is spare no time, but I can't watch it for too much.

So it's quite hard finding a movie which would be interesting for me,

which is just good going to background, you know what I mean?

And it just come on Prime.

I really enjoyed watching it, but it's not horror, but it's the original taking of Pellum123 from 1974.

Oh, the original, yeah.

It's been on on-tum since I've seen that.

I really enjoyed it.

I'll recommend people like our, our, our, our, our, our age watch it again.

It's really enjoyable.

The 70s, early 70s, and I'm a shout out to our Jamie Creedy here, our fellow podcaster and friend.

He's going to be into these sort of movies as well.

There's something about those early to mid 70s action thrillers.

Yeah, it's not that, actually, there was this.

But there was a bit, there quite, those sort of movies were quite groundbreaking when they came out.

Yeah, yeah, I do like it, but yeah, it's not like mad action.

It's not like French connection or something.

But around the same era.

But no, it's really enjoyable.

And obviously, thing is really good.

Who's in jaws, you know?

Roy Schneider.

No.

Rob Schneider.

No.

Adam Samler.

No, Quint.

Oh, that guy.

What's his name?

Quint.

Oh.

Fuck your, no, that's terrible of us.

Anyway, he's like the main bad guy, the main robber.

He's in it.

That's right.

Yeah, really good film.

Really enjoyable.

Robert Schuhl.

That's it.

Really enjoyable, actually.

Yeah, oh, yeah, it's good movie.

I have really watched other than that older island of Death Goatbogger movie.

Most of what I've watched recently has been quite new.

I actually watched the 2023 movie, which I think you might have seen.

A lot of people are talking about it.

It's on Disney+.

It's also on Hulu, if you're an America.

And that is no one will save you.

Was that an alien one?

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't like it.

Yeah, I think I can understand why some people don't.

I really liked it.

It was Marmite movie.

I didn't like it for the reason that a lot of people are like, it's so good because no one speaks in it.

I don't care about that.

That's an interesting thing.

I know it.

I'll buy it some more time.

Yeah, but no one's going to talk in it because she's on her own for most of it.

So I get why that is the case.

And I really liked parts of it.

I've heard some people say they really didn't like the flashback stuff.

I'm not going to spoil it because it's brand new.

It only came out like a month or so ago.

But I think if you like alien invasion movies, if you like signs, there's definitely some, for me,

there was some moments in it where the aliens were coming to her house or she was upstairs and she could hear them walking around.

Really creepy stuff.

And some of the aliens stuff looked really good.

Although it was a bit too much CGI at times.

I really enjoyed it.

I'll probably watch it again because I didn't quite get how the flashback stuff tied in.

I had to go back and read up on it afterwards and now I understand the subplot.

When I go back on my jet again, I'll probably get a bit more out of it.

But that's, yeah, if you've got Disney Plus or Hulu in America, then no one will save you.

You've probably heard a lot of people talking about it.

It's an alien invasion movie.

You don't get a lot of those.

So I'll take any that I can get really.

I've got one more to talk about.

What about you? Do you have any more, Pry?

No, no, no.

I'm not going to talk about the stand-ass in Dream.

Did you ever get a Halloween, by the way?

I did, yeah.

Very good. Thank you.

It's just because it's part of us till next year and we never, we never really sort of do that.

We do the Halloween episode, but actually you want to have a win?

That's true.

No, I did. I watched Silver Bullet about 10 o'clock at night.

I fell asleep. I managed to push my 31 in and I fell asleep through Halloween.

The original.

Well, I've seen it a million times.

I think that's it.

And also it's such a comfort blanket.

But I made it 31 and that was it.

So I kind of did 30 and a half.

Got that.

I obviously, I don't know, obviously you know this, but I listen to Stone.

I'm currently in the middle of being sober.

I haven't had a drink for a very, very long time, months and months.

So normally on Halloween, I'd probably have had a few drinks, but I was still laughing my ass off.

But person on the Indians, person on the cowboys, been silver bullet towards the end of that movie.

It's just Uncle Red is just a force of nature.

It's all enjoyed that.

But yes, no, thank you for asking that.

And actually, I do have something to link back into that in a minute.

Yeah, different about Halloween.

But just very quickly, I watched Darry O'Argento's Stendell Syndrome, which I've never seen before.

And I thought it was terrible.

So I'm not going to waste your time talking about that.

Never seen it before.

Really excited to check out an Argento movie.

Hate it.

Asia, Agento, Star, isn't it?

Awful.

Didn't like it.

Some people might like it.

I fucking hate it.

But one movie I did watch, which you and I have talked about, but I just wanted to let the listeners know,

is a superhero film, but a very dark superhero film.

And I'm talking about 2022's Batman.

I was unwell.

I had an afternoon, I took two days off work, sick.

That's how unwell I was.

Nothing to worry about.

It just couldn't shake a headache.

It felt really shivery.

Kids were at nursery.

It was raining outside.

It was very grey.

This film is three hours long, so I figured.

There's a better, not a better time to watch this Batman film.

Let's do it.

So I put a blanket over me and watched it.

And I fucking loved every second of it.

I loved the score.

I loved Robert Pattinson.

I loved the penguin.

Colin Farrell.

I loved the riddler.

I loved the sort of the seven slash sun.

It's the lamb style.

Detective work.

It was really dark and gritty.

It was really violent as well.

It was a bit like soul at times, you know, with the traps and the people were killed.

And really, you know, I came out of it.

Like, I want to give this like a nine out of ten, which feels crazy.

But it currently sits at nine out of ten for me as a non-moral superhero film.

You know, and it's obviously not related to any of the DC stuff that's not right now.

But it's fucking great.

You got it on Blu-ray in one of your big treasure troves of Blu-rays, didn't you?

Yeah, I've logged it.

Did you like it though?

No, it was still sealed, so I've logged it.

Oh, okay.

But you have...

No.

Oh, fuck, I thought you'd seen it.

No.

That's a shame.

I'll keep around, too.

It seems to be a little bit interesting, I'm not watching.

But, you know...

Yeah, you just need to, like I said, it's close to three hours long, so you need to give yourself

a nice window of time to really...

I think you're like it.

It's raining in every single scene.

It's dark.

It's proper Gotham, you know.

Yeah, that sort of stuff appeals to me more than a Marvel film, you know.

Yeah, I think you're really like it.

It's fantastic.

Really fantastic.

You mentioned Halloween, so I want to swing back around.

I've got a couple of things I want to mention to fellow podcasters.

First of all, Halloween, I wanted to...

I forgot on our last episode to thank our good, good friend and post podcasting brother

from Legion Ricky Morgan, because he actually did a very special thing for me.

He does a show, he does many shows, there's a lot of people know, but his current main show

is Doctor Movie MD, and he drops about five episodes a week.

There are about 20 minutes long, 15-20 minutes long, covers absolutely anything.

So he's already got up to like episode, I think he's coming up on his 300th episode fairly soon,

if I remember right away.

Anyway, he takes requests, and he's a good friend of mine and vice versa.

So I requested, because I was in the middle of doing lots of werewolf movies for Halloween, for October,

I requested, hey buddy, what's your, you know, your top three werewolf movies?

Maybe you could cover your number one werewolf movie of all time.

Well, what he actually did, because he couldn't decide, was he gave me and the listeners of his show,

about 10 episodes in a row of his favourite werewolf movies.

And so that was such a nice little honour that he did for me, where he did like,

basically 10 episodes in a row that were all werewolf movies, covering, you know, all the classics

and finishing with his top favourite werewolf movies of all time, which were, I think it was the howling,

dog soldiers, ginger snaps and American world for London, they're all of his top ones.

But he loves bad moon, he loves silver bullet, he loves all the other random ones as well.

So I wanted to thank Ricky for that.

Also, I wanted to give a shout out to another Legion brother of ours,

or brothers, courts and mat, siops of cinema siops, who have done 450, I think,

ish episodes weekly and they've never missed the week.

I don't know how they do that.

The reason I'm saying shout out to them is I know courts had a bit of a shit time

these last couple of weeks, I know he listens to our show, so I just wanted to say,

I'm glad that you're back on your feet, my friend, and I cannot believe you still haven't missed a single episode.

I don't know that you store episodes up, you just know secret,

just in case there's a week where you and Matt can't get together, but you're amazing.

So, big up, congratulations to you guys, keep on trucking.

Nine years, they've never missed a week.

That's good, that's good, isn't it?

Nine years.

Yeah, we can't do that.

We're back to you up to 10 years, next month.

Yeah, which should be a special episode, but we're not even as well mentioning it.

But yeah, we've missed months at times.

And the last podcast I wanted to mention is one of our patrons.

And I completely forgot that Don Colu, one of our patrons, also has a podcast.

He always says it's not very frequent, but it has been getting more and more frequent.

And it's available on Spotify, and I've listened to every episode, I think there's a good 6, 7, maybe even 8 episodes out by now.

And if anyone is interested, it's called Found Footage Horror with Donny Darko.

So he goes by the name Donny Darko as a podcaster.

If you can just type in Found Footage Horror with Donny Darko, and he covers only Found Footage films.

Yeah, I need to check it out, I do a part of Joe's, not listen to it so far.

Because I do like Found Footage, are you used to listening to Found Footage podcast?

But that stopped.

Yeah, I promised him my words, excuse me, I didn't promise him, but I told him my word.

And I completely forgot, but here I am, my friend, and thank you for your support as always.

And I do listen to your show, and I love your show, and it's great to hear someone just talk about a little dedicated pocket of the podcasting world that is just Found Footage.

So there we go.

And we should get onto the episode, but just before we do.

We have one more thing to talk about, don't we Gav?

Well, everybody by now, I will finally, everybody by now, I presume, who's listening to this, because you're a hassle enough, is probably watched Star Wars, St. Tree Moot, which we made, which came out.

Yeah, clap, clap, clap.

Finally did it.

After Love Work came out.

So you know what we're talking about when we're just muttering on about fucking Star Wars, you know what it is now, because you can see and go,

oh, that's what they're going on about.

And we can spoil it now, because it's just, you know, just to say, if you're online, if you're on Facebook or YouTube, you should have seen us posted about it by now.

If you haven't watched it, it's only 12 and a half minutes.

I think it's worth your time as less, you know, but I think it's worth your time.

We're incredibly proud of what we've achieved.

It's not, it's, it's done all right.

It's got, it's been about a week, not even, and it's five and a half thousand views, about a thousand views a day, which is fantastic.

But yeah, if you struggle, if you're listening to this episode right now, and you struggle to find it anywhere, hit me up.

And I'll link you up with it, but it's on YouTube, Star Wars, St. Tree Moot, under their book films, it's on Facebook, it's been posted links everywhere Instagram.

You should be able to catch it.

And now that's what you think as well.

And it's got really good response, you know, it's a weird thing to tell people when you say, "I've been making a Star Wars film."

What the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah, it's like a fan film, and they're like, I imagine that they think it's you in a least, maybe two mates, and you're both in the woods.

One of you's got a Darth Vader fucking costume with a fake plastic lightsaber.

The other's got a camcorder, and you would like, look like India Jones or something, shit.

But I imagine, and you jump around and go, "Yo, bam, bam, boom, that's what they think."

And it's like, "No, no."

This was not that.

So we can now talk about it.

So this is essentially what would happen if Predator and Star Wars collided?

Collided.

But take out the Predator, replace that with very hungry Ewoks who we don't really see.

We just get their POV and their little blinking red eyes in the dark and their little...

What about Wapan noises?

They've been very expensive to have lots of Ewok costumes.

And their Nuro Toxin darts and their rocks and everything that they use, their weapons and stick traps.

And we've got three great actors in it.

We've got some amazing props and 3D printed stuff and costumes and acting

and writing and yeah, guys...

It looks really good.

It looks good, it sounds good, it's got the screen wipes, you know, there's some good special effects.

There aren't over the top, they're just there just to remind you this is a Star Wars film.

It feels like a Star Wars film.

It really, really genuinely looks like a Star Wars film.

The location we shot at was so lucky because my dad actually said to me, you know, it looks...

And he said, "I know it's supposed to Daniel, but it really looks like another planet."

Which was a very lovely compliment because I know what my dad means when he says that, you know, it does look like another planet.

You know, you can probably believe this is the forest moon event or...?

Yeah, a filmmaker which most people here watch quite a lot of his films actually said they look very professional.

Yeah, he really enjoyed it and I was like, "Cool."

And of course it's completely dedicated to our good, good late friend...

All the boss.

Yeah, so I've been doing the behind the scenes part a couple of days.

And just putting that together and I've sort of chopped that together.

And yeah, that's, you know, bosses and that and stuff.

But you have to kind of put your emotions in a box.

Yeah.

Just sit there and just work away making a behind the scenes thing.

So...

He would be incredibly proud of it and happy.

And he wouldn't be...

His film is the best film in the behind the scenes stuff.

Of course it is.

It's panning.

He's the only person that does actually any filming.

He's like being zoomed in and he's zoomed out and shows everybody...

Or he pan from left to right, real slow to show the whole location.

Because he knows what he's doing because he did it for the blinds.

But no one else did.

Like, you know, there's at least...

...in different chunks but together there's at least 35 minutes of cardboard boxes or the grass stuff at that.

Which someone thought their film was like really good.

Someone thought their film was really good and obviously it pressed pause.

And then put it down and pressed record.

Like, oh fuck it.

My speech.

As I say, "Oh, at the beginning I could do a little talk to everybody."

You're saying, you know, this movie's gonna be a bit of a forever once we're gone and all this sort of stuff.

And, you know, anyway...

Not there.

But...

But yeah, so we're getting...

We've only had one...

Not even negative, really.

Because someone said the music's a bit loud and I understand.

I don't know how I got that.

There was the version of it I did when I turned the music right down and it was a lot quieter.

But it's also...

It's the only thing I'm egotistical about.

Because I'm a musician.

I'm like, "Pay loud! Louder! Turn it to 11!"

I'm like, "Sponald's app."

That's the only thing.

But as a director and editor, I'm actually not like, "Oh, that's... that scene's really... that shot's so good.

I'm like, "I'll leave it for fucking ten minutes."

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Chop, chop, chop, chop.

But music...

Well, the music and the score are getting a little praise as well, so...

Yeah, and we've released the score on YouTube now as well.

We've... YouTube channels are like really tidy up now.

It's got all like new fun now, sort of, videos and...

Yeah, we've got plans, so...

Not so much crap of just me and Gab being...

And yesterday...

And we have a little deadbolt curry, Monday night.

So we can talk about our next... next move.

So, yes.

On this chess board.

Anyway, do check out movie.

If you know anyone, look, Star Wars, get them to share it as well.

But let's get them to this fucking show, because this is dwindling now.

Let's do this fucking thing.

Let's do this.

So, before we go into our first trailer, then,

'cause we're gonna cover Mom and Dad first.

Mom and Dad.

It would be remiss if we not to read out our Queen patron Rachel's

or the first part of her message.

So, I'll read this out, and then we'll go into the trailer.

And then, when we come back, we'll talk about Nicholas Cage.

And his...

It's got a...

It's got a...

It's got a...

It's got a...

It's got a...

Anyway, we'll be doing that.

I should imagine.

I imagine you will be doing that a lot.

Rachel says...

She starts off by doing an impression unintentionally of sloth from the Goonies.

She says, "Hey, you guys!"

(laughs)

But in an Irish woman's accent, I should imagine not in a...

Where are you going?

I imagine not.

Anyway, sorry.

She says, "Hey, you guys.

Thanks so much for asking me to take part, bless her."

She's a patron.

Of course.

Of course, it's your patron.

She says, "I'm a long-time fan of the podcast, and I'm blessed to have you two as friends.

We will record together someday.

My fierce Northern Anthem accent will be largely unintelligible to the majority of your listeners.

But Gaff has always assured me that it's actually not that hard to understand.

Although I can understand her fine.

Yeah, she's fine.

Although the blank faces of most of the other English people I talk to always says differently.

But you're my friend, so I'll take your word over there, whenever someone says, "Sorry, what?"

She says, "I have picked two films run by Anish Chagam Ratti and Mom and Dad by Brian Taylor.

It was really hard to settle on two films because there are so many good movies out there."

It's so hard, right?

I've got my birthday, so I come at January, and I've got one solid that in the whole time I'll like, "What goes on?"

I've been on it Gaff for six months to come up with a bearing.

I'm still not totally 100%.

And what I rage, before I continue reading your message, what I would really appreciate,

and maybe you did this unintentionally, so you've put a bit of a theme with this as well as two parents

potentially here and their children.

So I really appreciate you've done that, whether it's intentional or not.

She says, "It was really hard to settle on two films because there are so many good films

and because you guys have been podcasting for ages at this stage,

and have a lot of reviews in your back, Casselog."

"You stay out of my back, Casselog."

She didn't say that, I just added that.

I'm going to stop there because she now goes into talk about run,

and then she talks about Mom and Dad, so I will pause it there,

or go and review Mom and Dad.

"Oh, and then you do that one, and then I'll run you to run one."

Run run run run.

"You do run run run, you do run run run."

"Okay, that sounds cool.

Should we listen to our "We Trailer?"

Yes, indeed.

Let's go into a trailer with Nick Horskage.

And hold your back.

[Music]

Hey, can I go to a movie with Riley tonight?

With Riley, your grandparents are coming for dinner tonight, remember?

Awesome!

Grandpa telling you's disgusting Vietnam stories.

"Take my advice, no one ever have kids."

"Everything just revolves around you, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, whatever."

[Music]

Well, it's the rush today.

It's like you're waiting for the fame.

What's going on?

[Music]

Is that McKenna's mom?

Multiple reports are now coming in apparent murdering their own children.

Listen to me.

We have to get out of that.

It's more Mom than Dad.

Come home.

Dad?

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Right, fold it in.

You take your right and go it out.

You do the hook and pull the end.

[Music]

Mom?

Yes.

Mommy, Mommy's here.

Are you sure, right?

We're not coming out okay. You have to leave.

[Music]

This is a really great idea, honey.

[Music]

I forgot your parents.

That was tonight.

[Music]

Mom and Dad from 2017.

[Music]

A teenage girl and a younger brother, Massive Ive a wild.

24 hours during which a massive story of unknown origin causes parents to turn violently on their own kids.

[Music]

So, this is Crank.

Well, we'll get onto him in a minute.

It's just very quickly the director is a chap by the name of Brian Taylor and he is directed.

Crank 1 and 2 with Jason.

With Jason's fucking stifle.

Have you seen Crank or Crank 2?

Yeah, I think I've seen both of them.

He also directed Gamer, which is another very extremely violent.

But I've never seen it.

Yeah, it's good. He also directed the Ghost Rider sequel with Nicholas Cage.

Ghost Rider Spirit Evengeance.

Oh, I was the first one.

There's a famous scene in that where Nicholas Cage is trying to keep the Ghost Rider from coming out.

And he says to the guy,

"I can't keep him inside much longer. Can you hear him? He's scratching at the door."

He does this like really weird.

So this guy is directed a lot of weird shit.

And the most recent thing he directed was Happy, which is that Netflix show,

which I never saw about a cartoon unicorn, which gets a guy to go in killing people.

I think it's in his mind or something.

But he did direct Mom and Dad in 2017.

So let's talk about it.

Now Rachel obviously likes this movie.

That's why she's picked it.

However, we won't read out her little bit about it until the very end,

because there may be a couple of little spoilers in there.

And although we do spoil, we want to kind of like go through the movie.

And so as we like to do,

and then we'll talk about our thoughts at the end and throw reaches into that pot.

So this is my third time watching this now.

Probably your second or third time now, Gavin.

Second time watching it.

It's interesting because it's not going to be weird in a way.

I don't know. It isn't. No, it is.

The film, the director obviously had a look and a style.

I don't know why this shows this sort of style,

but then the style isn't all the way through the film.

Like the opening credits is like watching a yellow.

Yeah, it's like a yellow or a green case, isn't it?

And then there's not a lot of stuff like that in the film.

And it's kind of weird.

There is a couple of things here and there.

A couple of close-up stuff here and there.

It has a bit of artsy look to this sort of thing.

But it's just kind of, I don't know, it's a strange.

I've liked that, but it put me in the wrong.

What I was thinking was coming up.

It didn't give me.

It already put me somewhere else.

Yes, I think for someone to watch this just the first time.

Or maybe revisit it a few years later.

You won't really, you're just watching it and you'll enjoy the ride.

But I think you're right.

There's inconsistencies in style.

Now, I like this film. Don't get me wrong.

I'm going to be praising the generosity of it.

There's a few bits, you know, a bit of, I will critique.

But you're right.

There's some inconsistencies in style.

For sure, like the opening credits meet.

You think you're going to be watching some kind of GALO/

The Granteis movie, which I suppose there are elements of Granteis in this.

There is some stylish thing. And again, one thing in here, like the role of music supervisor was invented for, it's basically a DJ for a movie.

They are choosing the songs for the film going.

This is the song you need for this film, but obviously working with the director and their vision.

But this, the person that did this, I'm guessing it's quite an indie film.

I imagine, I don't know, I don't know.

I don't imagine it's a huge budgeted film. I'm not sure. It might have music supervisor.

I don't know if it probably does.

Anyway, they were brilliant.

The use of songs in this is fantastic.

It does give it a style choice.

Definitely when you've got juxtaposition between like 80s pop ship with like carnage.

It's really well done. And that's the definite style going on as well.

So there is something going, trying to go on here.

But I don't know if it's the kind of like also the film.

One day they're sitting around in the, in the pub and went, "I've got an idea for movie."

What if like Covi, it's like Covi, but there's another virus.

And it just made all the parents what I kill their kids.

It just really idea. And then what, I don't know.

We won't finish it.

And then right here, right.

And that is a good premise.

It's like, yeah, yeah.

And I don't need to know. They never go into what is called this.

They talk about, was it a chemical warfare attack or something?

We don't care about that.

Yeah, you just want to see the premise.

Yeah, that's why Jason Blumhouse buys these premises of these people.

And I think the reason why that works, that premise worked and appealed to people to give this a budget is because

like we talked about in our intro to this episode, I think kids, famously when you're 13,

you hate your parents. You think they're Dicks.

They don't understand you.

And if you watch this at 13, it might make you think shit.

What if my parents actually wanted to kill me?

Like Nicholas Keaton.

Yeah, that's the fun, though.

This is the movie and the essential, we have our playground nowadays.

We had a kit at NHL for what movie did you see that movie?

We haven't now in internet forums.

We have it on our own podcast page.

That is our playground.

And someone say, have you checked out this movie or something?

And the reason for this movie, have you checked out this movie?

Maybe the parents just want to kill the kids.

That's the fun concept.

And I was happy watching it for that.

And then I will give this a pass for that concept and stuff.

And I enjoyed that.

There's just no resolution to it, which is just a bit like.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's fun.

It's fun, right?

They could have come up with an ending.

I tell you where they could have gone wrong.

They could have not had Nicholas Keaton this.

And it hit a fairly good guy.

Who would have done it instead?

Fuck no, he's put on so much.

No, no, no.

Can you imagine he can't do any running?

I'm imagining somebody like John Kusak, you know, or someone like that.

Or what's his name?

Not John Kusak.

What's the other guy I'm thinking of Kevin Bacon?

Someone like that could have perhaps done it.

But I think Nicholas Cage, really, you're here to see Nicholas Cage

wants to cut his kids up with a chainsaw.

That's what you're here for, really.

I suppose you have got the sort of, you do get the same sort of types of people.

You get your Nicholas Cage, Kevin Bacon, same sort of white, same sort of age,

all rounder.

And they can do some good rage at times.

I think Ethan Hawke would have sort of sit in there with them, you know.

It is Carnegie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You do get these.

And Nicholas Cage is definitely that as well.

He's the mad cap one.

Except for Nicholas Cage, though, the fact that he has, he's had this new coming.

Yeah, Renaissance of his career, isn't it?

And, but I do love it.

A couple of fantastic movies with like Mandy and Call Out of Space.

And just, just movies where you can just let it's freak flag, fucking fly.

Yeah, for sure, man.

And he just goes, I'll go there.

I would, I would, I would absolutely adore love.

I would just go, it probably jizz if I could direct all work of Nicholas Cage,

I would go fucking, I would go out there.

I've been in a dude.

We're going fucking out there.

There's a couple of scenes in this that he is so good in.

The scene where he's talking to his young son.

I'd be running for it in words naked with him.

When he's talking to his young son, he's getting nervous, don't do it.

You fucked up.

I fucked up too, one time.

And he sort of, he's talking to him like he's a great man.

But he's like a nine year old kid.

It's just so good.

Yeah.

Also, we've got Selma Belair in this, who is very...

He walks it.

What's, not my sort of thing.

What, what, is she been in there?

And I need to check her out.

She's, she's got a bit of a screen queen.

Yeah.

I must be just not knowing anybody anymore or something.

Yeah, she was, she was in the original Hellboy one and two,

Crawl Intention.

She was a bit of a 90s, you know.

But she's not movies for me though.

Again, that's why I don't really know them.

She sent me retired from acting now.

Okay.

I believe she has multiple sclerosis now.

Oh, awesome.

Which is a shame for her.

But I know that she's doing okay, but she's just not well physically.

Because of that.

So I don't think she's doing much acting.

Now I must just mention...

In Anger Management, I don't know, I just paid in Anger Management.

I showed it she was on.

She had to get paid 40,000 an episode.

I didn't know.

Pretty good, didn't I?

Yeah.

Then the agents and everybody else takes their cut.

On a serious note, I must just mention this was not fun from my wife Alice,

who has...

She said I could mention this.

I'm not going to discreet detail, but she mentioned she has some PTSD

from when she had our twins.

And sort of just after having the twins and the way that she was treated in the hospital,

blah, blah, blah, I won't go into detail.

But because of that,

it affected her mental health quite badly for the first part of our baby's lives.

And she had some dark thoughts, some intrusive thoughts.

And this film was a little bit triggering for her to the point that I had to turn off.

Although it is a zany, crazy, black comedy, it's still people trying to really...

It's not...

It's a gory film, it's not just...

No, they're children, yeah.

Slap the kids around, they're trying to bottle their kids or cut them up or throttle them,

you know, or bend them over.

So yeah, Alice was not a fan of this, which is weird because she watched run.

But I think run is done a little bit differently, a little bit more subtly.

Yeah.

I just wanted to mention that, it made her a few years, but also it's mental film as well.

Well, blessed, blessed house for that.

And that's obviously horrible.

The difference to maybe it's really, I hate the rage, isn't it?

It's a speedy rage.

They have one to slow burn.

This is your 28 days later style.

The other one you don't see in the violence, it's just subtly done because it's like a tablet here, they're aware of it.

Yeah.

This is outright new face from there's a razor blade in your face, they're a ch...

A child off camera, but you know, obviously.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Well, we're getting to it and, yeah.

Like I said, brilliant soundtrack, very well used.

If you've seen the movie, you know, exactly what I mean.

Like the juxtaposition is basically what they've gone for when they can.

And when you do that, it always brings like almost a fresh sense of comedy in the air.

Yeah, it's always fun to have an upbeat song on.

Where's that album?

I'm really crazy.

Yeah.

You do.

My friend, the Bracken.

Well, let's get into this.

So there is a little bit of, I mentioned John Kusak and there was a little bit of Sal in some ways because there is a static TV and radio signal that's going out.

Just like there is in Sal, which is causing anybody who's got children.

As soon as they see their child after they've heard this noise, they just want to kill them.

But they're still themselves, which is weird.

It's like 20 days later where you lose your mind.

No, if you're, if you're like, you're another person in the room, anyone else apart from your children, you'd be like, do you want some ice cream?

No, right.

Hang on.

I'm just going to fucking slice these.

Oh, hang on.

That's my son.

Yeah.

Very, very, very quickly.

The music over the credits, by the way, was, I was just like, this could,

you could drop this on the Jackie Brown soundtrack.

Thought you could say Jackie Chan film then.

You could drop this at Jackie Chan soundtrack and no, Jackie Chan, uh, fuck off.

Jackie Brown film.

I'm not sorry.

Put it in Jackie Chan in my head.

Jackie Brown soundtrack.

It was just so much, and that's what I said, the filters.

It took me totally off to what then came out.

My next note was that Shane LePhirm didn't keep to this and it is.

Um, okay, let's just get straight into it.

Well, there's a film signal there.

Yeah, so we hear the TV static, you know, we file at age one, what it means.

But as a woman, you know, a car with a baby.

And we open, and this is why my wife wasn't a fan.

We open with this woman getting out of her car, leaving the baby in the back seats.

And then you realize she's parked the car on the train.

Yes.

And it is a very passing, uh, uh, fleeting moment, actually.

And you're just like, wow, okay, we're going here.

Yeah, straight away.

It was like straight into that, like, which was like a very, which is obviously a choice.

And we don't see it, but we do see call later on.

But like so far, so it's like, you don't know who the person is.

There's nothing like that.

It's just like, it's just going to show you what is going on right now.

Um, I don't know.

I almost has to say that almost it is rushed into too quickly, almost.

Like, uh, struggle to know what to do at the end.

I'm just saying maybe bring it in a little bit slower, more in a Stephen King typeway in the town.

You know, even like a bit more like the happening with a wall bird, which I only saw for the first time.

Um, uh, last year kept it in my DVD collection, because I was like,

after that bad, after COVID, go and watch it again now and imagine COVID.

And it's kind of a bit like, that's kind of weird, because it's, it's talking on the same level.

You can, you can relate it to that movie because I know you mean it's weird.

Anyway, um, this film, yes.

See Rachel, you're making us talk about M Night Shyamalan and Mark Wahlberg films now.

Come on, bro, it's the plans, bro.

Come on, bro.

It's got to be the plans, bro.

Honestly, they mind it.

And I might, if you keep on, I might be choosing out of my birth, don't fucking move it.

Yes, let's do it.

Come on, bro.

Um, so we get the usual, um,

family dynamic, don't we?

The kitchen.

Carly is the daughter and she's got a little brother, Joshua.

Typical, um, four, four, four kids family.

Sim.

It's got a lot of Simpson's kitchen or sort of thing, isn't it?

Yeah.

And when then we've got their parents who are Brent, is obviously Nicholas Cage and Kendall,

who is played by Selma Blair.

Um, and you know, the sister is about 15, 16 hates her mum and dad.

They're trying their best to understand her.

And Nicholas Cage is kind of giving up.

He is just like, I've got to go out and do my job.

I don't really give a fuck about what you guys are doing in the house.

It's, uh, yeah.

We begin to find out.

So I guess there's like different people that you could relate to watching us, I suppose you.

You get to find out I don't relate to Nicholas Cage's character,

because I don't have his life that he has.

But he's basically, as we see through flashbacks we get to.

He's unhappy with the lifestyle that he has.

He used to be, driving around with Tilly easing his face, because this is a flashback.

He's the beer party boy doing donuts in a fast car.

Uh, and he's got a, where a shirt and toy did the same job every day.

And he doesn't like it.

There's a wonderful scene later, very late in the film, which we'll cover where he talks about that.

And he says, because a lot of this film is, the clever thing is about this film,

is that although it, the premise is parents killing their kids,

it's actually, they're doing it, they're potentially doing it because they're jealous.

Because there's a lot of talk about being jealous of your kids,

two of the women later talk about, I'm really jealous.

I caught my daughter and naked the other day, I'm jealous of her.

Oh, it's straight, straight on the other side of the drama.

It's straight for the writer to come up with, who is also the director to come up with this idea of film.

Are they writing it from, like, because they obviously, are from their parents being jealous of them.

Maybe that's something that they have gone on.

I think that is something that everybody, whether you're jealous or not, or you don't say,

like, loud, you are ignoring that your children have got youth.

Yeah, the whole lives are ahead of them.

And saying that he's probably, unless he is a lot of an older person, I don't know how I suppose he could be.

And he's probably, but he's probably writing for his parents being jealous of him.

Yeah, I was, do you know what I mean?

I'd imagine.

Yeah, well, maybe he's jealous of his kids as well.

My kids have got the whole lives ahead of them.

I'm not like jealous, jealous, but I am envious that they get to do it.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I had that thought at one point as a dad when my kids came in, they're very, very young.

It's probably like Jay first time in there, about two or whatever.

And being like, oh my God, they've got, like, they've got the whole life ahead of them now.

And I'm like, this age, and you know what I mean?

You just have that realization.

But it's ain't, then, then do you forgive me, or whatever.

But yes, I know what you're saying.

But yeah, you do, and obviously you do get people whose children are successful, whatever.

And they weren't, I just recently watched a Silverstone documentary.

And his dad would just be pretty violent with him and just be addicted to him and always be like pissed off.

And then later in life, he did like a polo tournament with his dad, like horse, you know, polo.

And his dad, like, smacked him real hard with the club.

And after that, he gave up totally. And this was when he was an actual already established actor.

He did this.

Yeah.

And it's just his dad was just like that.

And it's just like some people like that.

And they're kind of jealous of their, their children has been like, why, why are you not celebrating it?

And I think that's maybe what this fire, this virus or this, whatever this thing is,

is it brings that out to the most extreme level in these people.

But I would have preferred this movie.

I think to have a slower buildup, I think, for this.

But you're right, going back to what we were saying. There is, you know, Nicholas Cage does wish he was himself when he was younger.

And where I was going with that very briefly is there's a scene great scene towards him, which will come back to probably when we get there where he talks about his sister's wife.

I never thought I'd be this tired old fucker that I am, you know, everything aches.

I've got no money. I'm losing my hair.

You know, and I am basically a slave to my kids.

If I go back in time and told me who's doing donuts with titties in my face, this is where I'd be.

You know, this is how do I get here? You know, and he's, so that's the whole like where his character is driven really and this is nice.

There's a bit in the kitchen. It's brilliant when he says, I was 17.

And she said, oh, gross, you were 17.

Yeah, he's like, yeah, I was. I was just one obvious.

He was 17 months. Obviously every person here is past 17 was 17 months, but I love the fact that, oh, gross, you were 17.

And it's quite funny.

So, yeah, we've established the dynamic. There's four of them and we also establish and put a little pin in this is that later on, Nicholas Cropake cages grandparents are coming to visit.

And he's like, oh, is that tonight? He's like, yes, your mum and dad are coming over later.

And that kind of gets forgotten until much later. Yeah, fantastic little little little little little turics and little last minute.

It's not a twist because it is mentioned, but it yeah, Lance Henryson turns up and obviously when he sees his son, what do you think's going to happen?

That's great. So yeah, we talk about that and they've also got a Chinese cook.

And she has to say to her that I'm Chinese, not Vietnamese, to the mum. That's explained it to her.

Yeah, it's because her daughter has said something about dad, a grandpa, he's talked about the goddamn Vietnam and he was talking about the Charlie's and she's like, don't say Charlie's.

It's in front of our cleaner. She's like, I don't worry Charlie's Vietnamese. I'm Chinese. So, you know, her daughter and her the Chinese lady's daughter Lisa is there as well.

She obviously hangs out there while she's doing her job at their house. So they're rich enough that they've got a cleaner slash cook, who's there a lot of the time.

And actually Nicholas case does remind me of you for one thing, especially because on the news, the news is reporting that people seem to be killing their children.

Well, there's been a few things around the US and they talk about the train hitting the car and and then you see Nicholas cage and his son and he grabs his son's car and train toys and he smashes them together and then he grabs the ketchup.

And he sprays it all over them because yeah, look at that. And his wife's like, Jesus Christ, Brent, could you be a little bit more subtle and but that's like you and Elijah because I imagine you and Elijah pouring ketchup all over some toys and going, yeah, look at that.

And I've seen you do similar things. So there is that element.

Yeah, watching his film actually that kid is pretty much spot on with a larger size. I was getting a lot of Elijah vibes out of that kid and when he's running around tickling himself.

I was like, that's me in a lot. That's me in large anyway. So it's quite so I do relate that but I don't relate to Nicholas cage's character.

Yeah, other than that, you never drink.

I don't have for cities in your face.

No, I didn't. I didn't. No, I did do the donuts, but there was no titties.

Did it did it did it. So yeah, lots of family tension. So we cut to mum dropping Carly off at school and obviously she's trying to connect with her 15 16 year old daughter.

Could you please stop Facebooking?

I know.

I know.

I know why right pick this.

I I've gone through exactly this. Have this exact conversation.

Yeah, she's trying to talk to her about she's clearly obsessed with social media the internet and they do snap at each other a little bit.

And she says, you know, I'd like it if we could be friends and she her daughter is so brutal and it's true as well.

Says says.

Yeah, but she says, look mum, we were best friends, but then I became 13 14 and then I got friends that are my best friends.

And I don't need to hang out with my mum anymore. So you're now just my mum.

You know, I've got my best friend. So that's why I thought you've got no friends.

Yeah, she says, she says, why do you get some friends? It's not my fault. You haven't got any friends. It's like, whoa, your daughter is just completely.

No, it is, she says, it's not my fault you have no life.

Oh, mum's taking back by that a bit.

I mean, the only life she's got is going for afternoon brunch cocktails with her buddy.

And that's really it, isn't it?

Yeah.

But yeah, that's bad.

And again, though, this is a thing that happens. You do get, and obviously get the people like we have the next movie.

Well, different reasons without a spot in the next movie. But the parents don't want to give up their kids and don't want them to move out of home.

What happens there? Stay there forever.

Norman Bates in the fruit cellar.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, fine. It's good. 18.

Crack on. Go enjoy the world. Go do something. Don't hang out at home.

Do it.

You know.

There's a great scene, the great teacher in this, Carly's teacher. She's in the class and one of the very friends is listening to some music.

And the teacher takes the iPhone offer and says, you know, what the hell do you think you're doing? This is my class. Give me that.

It's confiscated to the end of the day. And then he gets a message from Carly saying, hey, sexy.

Why don't you bring your phone up to the front of the class too? So he's a good teacher. He's confiscated both of their phones.

Says you can get these back at the end of the day.

And it's good because now they can sort of communicate with the world. It's a little bit of a good plot point really.

But also good teacher move, I feel as well.

What does Nicholas Cage's kid find and put the box in the car? Why is it?

A dead animal. But he's feeding it though, isn't it?

Yeah, he's feeding something.

Is it something that's dying rather than dead?

Yeah, I think he's trying to maybe a baby bird is trying to nurse it back to health.

So, clinging onto his youth, Nicholas Cage has still got this badass Pontiac firebird which he keeps.

He's sitting down at Car.

He's got his titty donut, puns yet a firebird car in the garage and he must polish that thing twice a week.

It looks wonderful, but his son, Joshua bless him.

He sneaks into the garage and got inside it and he's got a dead animal in there.

And there's some Cheerios and some cereal in there as well. Like Lucky Charms or something.

And Nicholas Cage is obviously very unhappy when he finds, he's like, "Guy, damage smells like..."

He's like, "What does he say?" He's like a dead animal in there or something like that.

I don't know. He's very unhappy.

And Josh is going to be in a little trouble for doing that.

But this establishes that Josh is a very curious boy who knows where things like car keys and potentially guns,

which might come into play later on, are light around the house.

So he's like, "All boys is age, like your boy and like my boy will be gav."

Very curious and I'll have to hide things in very high places if I don't want him to get to the most you'd imagine.

Oh yeah.

Daddy, what's it?

I'm not getting my name, okay now. I just care about their tablet. If the tablet's been charged, I'm not.

Daddy, what's this magazine?

There won't be porn magazines in those in 20 years, will there?

No.

And why have you got porn mags in 20 years?

I haven't told you. I haven't gone.

Yeah, but you said in 20 years you're going to have porn mags.

Well, you never know. They might come back in like into action.

I style what like vinyl.

Like bags of porn in the woods.

I think it'll be like Facebook.

I mean, you're porn in woods comes back in style.

Yeah, you'll be 65 going for a little walk through the woods.

Oh, remember back at... I've got a minute, what's this over here?

You'll be like, "I put it in."

I put it in.

Is it back in the pool?

You pick it up, I can't be your purse.

My peepee doesn't even work anymore.

I've seen mine for 10 years.

I've come from the flutter, I turn the page.

A flutter.

Just two sad old men trying to get hard on in the woods.

That'll be a...

Obviously kids nowadays don't understand the joy of going to the woods and going,

"What's in that plastic bag?"

I got black bin bang going, "Oh my God, it's women with boobs."

You know, it's like...

I love my mind.

What I love about podcasting with you is we always have tangents.

We always will.

But whenever we have a patron's pick, I always think somebody out there,

in this case, Rachel is listening to us thinking, "I've orchestrated this conversation

by picking mum and dad, and this is where their brains are going.

She's a puppet master, we're just the puppets, two old men in the woods."

But it was, you know, kids aren't really getting to appreciate that anymore.

That whole experience, if you have your mates,

it wasn't like a weird thing, you wouldn't stand around having a wank or something.

You were there all just as this unisoned like, like, stand by me or something,

like a Stephen King's story, all like, "Oh my God, you're all open and magazine going,

"Oh my God!"

I remember the first time seeing any of that stuff and going,

"What the hell is that? It was a deal though."

But I said, "What is that?"

I know it's wrong because there's loads of them on this page, never sell,

but what is it?

What goes on with that?

There's all these different objects, shapes and sizes.

Oh, I remember it clearly. What does that do?

And I had no idea, no idea what anything did, it went...

Now I know everything.

Okay.

Nicholas Kaye talks about anal beads in this film, doesn't he?

He does.

Yeah, we'll come with that.

So Joshua, whilst Joshua is fucking around with the car,

we do get just a little snippet, a shadow of the Chinese lady, Kleiner.

Using a meat palette, what do you call those mallets?

Like you use polvarizer, meat tenderizing hammer on her child.

You just see my shadow.

We don't see it, we don't see it later.

Yet, it's an off camera, she's on the fire, taking conversations.

Very quickly, just before that, when that kid is feeding this bird away,

the music is really intense, very loud or castural, please.

And it's like a proper orchestra.

Like, "Duh, no, no, no."

And it's just like, "What is going on?"

It's like, "Oh my God, it's such a weird..."

And they're like, "Those are the bits in here, which we don't sort of mention,

because we're just talking about it.

We can't appreciate it until you actually watch it."

But those bits are like, "What the hell?"

So if you do watch the skin from the "R" review and you fancy it,

check out the music and how it's used.

And then it's just like, "What the hell?"

And then it cuts from that music to suddenly,

women doing aerobics.

I think I'm in an 80s pop-vid music video.

It's great.

Salma Blair.

It's a synth music, but beer, but, and then it's real like a comical kind of like,

a carry-on style humour.

It's a great humour.

And it's like, "Where's this come from?"

And it sees two women, like one of them obviously,

Salma Blair and her best friend, and they're basically,

they fancy their aerobics and structure.

If this film had been made in the 80s,

I'd have said this had cocaine all over it.

Especially with Nicolas Keijenet.

Just because it's one scene to the next.

What is going on, you know?

So it cuts to brunch and Salma Blair and her friend are having brunch

and cocktails, I think.

And they're sort of talking about how much they hate their kids,

or jealous of their kids.

And also talking about whether or not they can fuck the aerobics and structure.

Because her friend is, Salma is just kind of going along.

Yeah, okay, yeah. But her friend's just like, "Oh, you've got to keep hot, though."

Or your husband would be going off trying to fuck a 17-year-old.

And it's a bit like, "Really? 17-year-old is this to sound so big-gusting?"

They're just being extreme, aren't they?

I guess so.

This is the director of Crank, don't forget.

But when it comes to paying for brunch,

Salma, mummy notices 100 bucks.

I did have a hundred dollar bill in here earlier,

and obviously we know that Carly took this money.

Did you ever steal it off your parents?

Yes.

Yes.

But I told my dad about it recently, actually.

Oh, right.

And it wasn't very much.

I'd probably stole the sum total of about 20 quid over the course of about two years.

Because my dad was a milkman.

And he always had about 500 quid in change notes,

in his big leather of satchel that was hanging up in the cupboard under the stairs.

And I twigged, "Oh, I can take a pan coin out of this."

And I took a pan coin once and bought loads of stickers,

because in the '80s a pan coin could get loads with it.

And then I did that again, and then I did it again.

And I never took more than about a pound or two at a time.

And this was over the course of like 18 months, two years.

That was it.

And then I told him, about four or five years ago,

we're having a heart to heart.

I think not long after we lost my mum, actually.

And we were sort of sitting there chatting and I said, "Oh, Dad, I stole money off you once."

And he laughed and he went, "Oh, yeah.

I'm not sure." And I think he was thinking, "Oh, no, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

And I went back to 20 quid.

And he laughed his ass like, "Oh, God, okay.

I'm more about that."

He said, "I had a feeling you might have twigged that you could take your pan coin out of my bag,

but I'm not worried about it."

It was like a £1,000 off him.

And my dad had money in his drawer next to his bed and I was just, "Taybid's in the 80s, one day said to me,

he stopped stealing my money for cigarettes because I was nicking him for cigarettes."

Brilliant.

Yeah.

I think I'll know.

I'll know if Jack can eat it.

I think all kids push boundaries.

So yeah, it is what it is.

But we're going to fall tangents here, Rachel.

Thank you.

This is a good so far.

It's a confession time.

I'm enjoying it as well because I'm a dad now, too.

This is bringing up all these conversations because we actually can live both of these.

Yeah.

So yeah, she knows there's a money smith thing she can't play and she says, "Oh, your daughter's

probably stealing from you.

Mine does.

She steals from you all the time."

And Sandra Blair is thinking, "Is she stealing from me?

God, I thought I knew my daughter.

She really, me and her already drifted far, far apart.

Cut back to school.

The teacher gets a phone call.

Yeah.

Oh, Johnny, you need to go to the office.

Another phone call.

Oh, you need to go to the office.

Another phone call.

What? It's going on.

Carly, you need to go to the office.

And slowly, everyone's been called to the office.

And everyone's parents have gathered and crowding around the outside of the school gates, aren't they?

Like the 28 days later sort of.

Well, they're confused because the teachers are like, "Been."

And they're like, "Oh, what now?"

And like, the students got a go up to the go, "Donnie, go fucking up to the head office."

"Oh, Frankie, you go to."

Then all of a sudden, the cops come and turn it up outside.

And the kids are looking out the window going, "The fuck is going on?"

And obviously, I think everyone is that audience as well.

It's that classic whisper of something about to happen, isn't it?

Like, "Oh, the police car in a distance."

Oh, the strange things happen.

So the straightaway though, this may be going, "Right, because we know what the premise is.

Everybody is going into watch the movie.

I would imagine unless you're going in complete blind, like doubt it."

So at this point here, my thoughts were, "Okay, so this must be happening already in other places."

But I suppose we did have that news report.

I guess I did kind of cement that.

Because the cops are now turning up as a pre-justing case.

Well, they're expecting like, "Royer, the parents just fucking go for the kids."

But it's quite funny, because the cops must be like, "We've got nothing to worry about.

They're not going to try and attack us.

We've just got to stop them getting to their kids."

Yeah, they're just a bit...

So soon as to why they're crowding so much as well, aren't they?

This is a bit weird.

So they obviously established an end of school time.

So someone up in an office, his four-baller said, "Right, we need to get people, cops over to all the schools."

So, reckon this is happening all the schools around?

Yes.

Because the news reports indicate that there's been lots of attacks all over the US.

And I should imagine if this is a global scale, then everywhere it's happening as well.

But it's a slow build-up, slow build-up so far.

We've found out more of news reports in a moment, I think.

We also find out that Carly's boyfriend, Damon...

He's doing an exam.

Yeah, he's just finishing up an exam and he's nailed it.

He's finished.

He's got 20 minutes left and he's like, "Yeah, but I've done it."

He just knows he's smashed the exam.

He's done...

Yeah, yeah.

But so he goes outside, but his parents aren't there for him.

He's got a push-bike and he can just cycle home himself.

So he opens a door or...

All the parents are crowding to get in.

The hell only goes past him.

And as he opens a door, he doesn't really think about it.

He just goes on, "Patlocks is bike in the... in the... in the... in the... in the back.

He's in the foreground, in the background.

All the parents just use that moment of the door being opened and it'll all just go in.

But don't be that low, because he just cycle off."

Yeah, and then...

Well, we do know, but...

Well, then we get...

Because then we get our real crazy chaos scene of slow motion parents climbing the fence

and attacking their children whilst we get a pop...

An upbeat pop song playing.

And it is... it is all... it's game on, really.

The alarm goes off to kick things off and the police are starting arresting parents

but then the parents start fighting back.

Like I said, fences get... get climbed.

Some parents push their children down on the ground.

They're strangling them. One of them stabs their child with a... a key or a cop with a key.

The cops are getting stabbed as well, because they'll just go through you if you're... if you're in front of their child.

They need to go and kill their child. They will just go through you.

Again, is it... I'm sorry.

Now, come on.

I was just going to say, again, it's a juxtaposition of this scene of all the car happening.

There's pleasant jazz... a lift jazz.

It's... it's... in your lift car.

It's the jazz that you listen to.

And it's... it's just going... okay, it's nice.

And the visuals are 28 days later, like, fully on Ray John, because...

because there... it's like we said earlier, then you're not like it all the time,

only when you're children in front of you, because they're children of that.

They're chasing them.

Damon gets home and he's still unaware.

Yeah, he's like, "Well, that..."

And he's going on back at the store.

Yeah, he's down to tax him and he's still unaware, because back in the day, as we assume,

and that's why he's down to not be able to collect him, because he has to do himself.

His dad doesn't really give a shit.

It's that drunk.

And his dad used to abuse him, because he says, "Not again, dad."

Which is kind of deep.

Yeah, he says, "Not again, dad."

And then he's like, "It's a really good... it's a really good...

for and when this idea of his concept was coming out with, it was a really good idea."

However, when... actually, we sort of go there,

I presume, but it might come from some experience.

But...

It's good writing, Gabby.

It's what it's like.

It's a pretty good day.

And I'll take it back.

I said it, I'll draw this a slow down.

It isn't getting there straight away.

Yeah.

I think...

They've got time... there's time for them to add these little elements in.

I think they're just on 25 minutes.

I think I'm just on 25 minutes.

I'll just be honest, I remember getting to the house.

It kind of just goes...

Now we're at the house.

Yeah, because the film... I could just mention, it's only an hour and 25 minutes,

but it does...

It does go on a day.

It's got a spoiler alert, me and Gab feel the third act...

It stays, it's a welcome, a little bit.

Which is... it shouldn't do, but there's no sort of real...

a build up to an end in here.

But all of this stuff happening in the real world,

an outside world is very interesting, very exciting.

I wonder if they did have originally in a story,

an ending and then, you know, to conduct because of Dave's car

or money car, and just couldn't film it?

Well, Damon says, like you said, not again, Dad.

Then his dad picks up a bottle of booze,

and he says, "Oh, Dad, I think you probably had enough of that."

Then his dad breaks the bottle and comes at him with the broken bottle,

which is obviously more than just beating a kid.

You're trying to cut your kid open with a bottle here.

He cuts Damon's arm and then he falls and lands on the bottle.

That's right.

Well, that's right.

Well, that's the...

Well, that's the...

Well, that's the...

It's the guy who tries to go for it, and Molly's got off his little throat.

It's literally like...

It's like a rage, yeah.

And it's the TV signal.

We cut back to Mama Kendall.

She's having some sort of flashback of a guy.

Yeah, she was rejected from her job.

And this again is Nicholas Cage,

having like his flashback to Tinnies and Donuts.

This is her flashback to this guy that she kind of likes as well.

Yeah, yeah.

But she...

The subplot for her is that her sister is about to become a mum.

So her sister is going to be going to labor some time today.

And she gets a phone call whilst she's in the car crying from her flashback

to say, "Oh, your sister's just gone in to have her baby.

Can you come on in?"

So she's like, "Well, I better get to the hospital then."

So she goes...

Cut back to her daughter Carly and her friend Riley.

And they...

Because school's been closed for the day.

They get back to Riley's mum's house.

And they've already been in the toilet discussing her pills and vaping.

Yeah, they do all the naughty things that you need for her to...

Basically being my middle child before she was pulled out of school.

And so they sit around and they sort of...

"Oh, let's get some booze.

Come on, we got no school today.

This is great."

And then on the TV they see national reports.

Yeah, well, one of them does because the other one goes upstairs.

They find out their mummies.

Yeah, Riley goes upstairs.

So Carly's downstairs watching the TV.

And she realises children all over the US

are being killed by their parents.

One Earth is going on.

Meanwhile, like you said, Riley goes upstairs.

And that's all we see until Carly goes looking for her.

And she finds Riley's mum strangling Riley with some underwear.

And she looks up in the middle of the strangling and says,

"Hi, Carly, how are you?"

Or something like that.

Like she doesn't even notice that she's doing it because it's just...

Built into her to kill her child.

It's so brutal.

And that's that bit.

We're back at the hospital and...

We are.

Basically we have a scene where a woman gives birth to a baby.

And then she also wants to kill the baby.

And the music playing along to this juxtaposition is...

"It must have been love."

"It must have been love."

I mean, the lyrics say, "Oh, no, this is another reason why I was glad I didn't watch this with my wife."

Because yeah, this scene could be triggering.

You know, she's just had a baby.

And because she's got this disease, this biological weapon, which they think it is,

she starts squeezing the baby really tightly and they have to fight her off.

The police are called, security guards are called.

Kendall takes the baby as the anti.

And they're like, "No, no, no, even though you're an anti, we still can't trust you.

We have to hit the baby away."

So she ends up giving the baby to the cops.

Then we see this scene.

"A lot of dads looking at the incubators."

So we've got all, like, you've seen the shot a load of times, 20 incubators with a baby,

one in each one's got a baby in each one.

And then there's 20 dads to that side.

And they're all just looking, almost basically looking at a buffet.

Like, "Yeah, we're going to go and kill our babies in a minute.

It's great."

And I'm wondering why they're not.

I'm wondering is it because they don't know which ones they're there.

Yeah, they're all kind of waiting to go in the room, aren't they?

They're all just looking.

But that is a pretty fucking horrible scene.

No, fucks are giving for this.

So especially at the beginning, we get out of that woman leaving the baby and the car and getting out of the store.

So no, fucks are giving.

We're putting across that everyone dies of children regardless of age.

Yeah.

Well, Carly runs outside because obviously she's just seen Riley get killed, her best friend get killed.

And she bumps into a man with a bloody baseball bat, who clearly is just beating his son or daughter to death.

And she's scared of him, but then Damon turns up and he says, "Well, it's okay, it's okay.

He won't hurt us because we're not his children."

He's worked out, clever kid Damon.

He's worked out and he's seen the news reports.

We're only in danger if it's our parents.

Anyone else isn't going to harm us.

But obviously he's got quite a cut arm from where his dad tried to cut him with the bottle.

So he's got a little injury, but they're team up.

So they're back together again now, which is good.

He says to her, "Where's your brother?

He's at home.

Right, we need to go and get him and we need to get him right now."

So they go back to their house to get a little Joshua who's waiting around at home.

Cut to Nicholas Cage.

He hasn't been in the film for a while, has he?

No, actually I've been at home for about an hour.

And he wakes up because he's so bored at his job.

He's falling asleep at his desk and he wakes up.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

And he's obviously heard this static sound because he sits out, looks at a photo of his kids,

and then the sound drops out of the movie.

And we just see him scream as long as out in rage at this picture of his children.

But there's no sound, so it's quite effective.

We all know what Nicholas Cage says.

When he screams, he does it in almost every film.

He doesn't need to hear it.

I think it works quite nicely.

Kendall gets home.

Well, she calls her cleaner on the phone.

She's trying to clean her and she says, "She says it's all fine."

Don't worry about it.

Everything's, "Is Joshua?"

Yes, he's here.

Don't worry. He's hiding somewhere around here.

She says, "Okay, well I'll be home in a minute to see him, meaning to kill him."

She's like, "Yep, that's absolutely fine.

What we realize is she's mopping up all of her daughter's blood,

her daughter Lisa, that she killed early with the mallet."

So they're killing their kids in the front and center in this movie, aren't they?

Yeah.

Blood everywhere.

Carly and Damon plan to get in the house, get Joshua leave and get out.

But the cleaner is being weird.

She's acting strange, even though she's not going to kill them.

She's just acting, she's like, "I'll clean up this mess and then I'll leave."

She's just struggling to get it out because of blood, you know, it's quite a lot of pop up.

Do you want to sandwich?

She keeps saying things like that to them.

Very passive, aggressive.

Just get out, please.

Are you hungry?

No.

Nicholas Cage gets home.

There is nothing worse than meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time,

or one of the first times, and he doesn't approve of you very much.

And Nicholas Cage gets home.

I've got, I know that stuff coming soon.

That's it.

He says, "What do you want?

What are you doing here?"

To Damon.

Damon's like, "It's not what it looks like, sir.

I'm the Carly's boyfriend, Damon."

He's like, "Yeah, I know that.

I know all about hormones.

I was a 17 year old boy too.

Yeah, I didn't have access to things that you could have got.

No, and he's not talking about it.

You guys have got access to astamouth, astas, anal beads.

I didn't even know what anal beads were.

He just gives this massive speech all about porn and anal beads and astro.

I don't even know what astas is.

The Nicholas Cage talks about it in this film.

I can only imagine what it is.

Astas is an end of a record for a dream.

Oh, of course it is.

Oh, yes, Jesus.

That was a scene in it.

Come on.

Come on.

You can get your pervone.

Come on.

You forgot about that.

Astamouth and T-shirt might get your pervone.

Get your pervone.

Let your freak fry fly.

But he's quite like, although he's talking about all this crazy stuff to Damon.

He's just would be doing that anyway, I think, because he's just protective to that.

But then he sees his daughter and he just launches out of her, doesn't he?

He just flies it as kids immediately.

Yeah.

Knocks Damon out and Joshua and Carly run into the basement.

And the basement is trashed.

And we get this weird, like a great flashback, but a weird place to put it really.

Where all of a sudden the film stops and retreats into this flashback of Nicholas Cage having a midlife crisis.

He's bought a pool table, a snooker table to build in his, what he calls his man cave in the basement.

But his wife catches him, asks him how much he's spent.

They argue about it.

Why do you need a man cave? He's like, I need some separation from my kids.

You know, I'm always stepping over a toy, stepping on toys.

I just want my own space.

And then he grabs a mallet and he trashes the pool table.

He's basically having a midlife crisis.

Absolutely.

Just goes nuts.

He has a big old rant about aging.

I didn't expect to be this tired old fucker, you know, and all this kind of stuff that goes on.

It's just like, what a strange place to have a flashback.

Fascinating right here, where it jumps to her and she explains her side of life.

And for me as a man, I, you know, and I found it very interesting actually and insightful.

Where she was saying, like, you know as a woman, that regardless, at times going to come where you're possibly, quite promptly, going to grow a child in you.

And that force always there at some point and a scary, for incredible thought.

And never really thought that never really put my mind, but even as a child, that that thought in a woman is always there potentially.

Not for everybody, but 85% is.

And I found that really fascinating.

Yeah, I agree with you.

It's again, it's very intelligent writing because you're seeing both sides here.

You see in, you know, men want to be young, virile, strong, youthful boys all their lives, but they grow old and they grow up.

And women always know that they were just most women want to have a baby, but they don't realize that that is going to partially destroy their body in some ways.

It's going to heavily age them.

They're going to then age anyway.

And if they leave it too late, there might not be able to have that baby.

So there are all these pressures that we put on ourselves in society, whether you're a man or a woman, you have these pressures on you.

And we neither of us probably see the side of it, but I agree with you fully, very clever scene that opens both sides up really.

Yeah, we'll see some.

It explains where you know, you potentially might not have a career because you end up being apparent, and that sort of thing.

And it was really interesting.

I presume that the writer Brian Taylor, I presume he's dropping in a lot of life experiences going on here.

Yeah, imagine these conversations he's had.

It's interesting stuff, man. Very interesting stuff.

Well, we cut away from the flashback and we cut to Salma Blair, Kendall.

She's driving home eager to kill her children.

On the radio, it does say, you know, more and more attacks are happening. We must say, even though it is in your gut instinct to protect your children, whatever you do, do not go near your children at this time, please do not go near your children.

Well, obviously she's going to go to her children because she thinks the world's fallen apart. I've got to go and see them.

That's the bad cycle of events going on here.

You can't get out of it. She talks to the door, doesn't she?

Because they're locked in the cupboard.

She finds Niflescage unconscious because he got knocked out.

He's like, "Wow, you're home early." She's like, "You're home early too."

And he says to her, "They're in the basement."

So they run down. Yeah, you're right. They talked through the door. It's a good little scene, you know, with the door in the middle of the screen separating them.

She's really trying to talk to them, you know, and I say, "Come on kids. I'm not going to hurt you. That is not going to hurt you."

Just come on out. Come out. She's almost winning them over.

And just so she's sort of trying her best, suddenly Cage just goes, "Your mother fucking mother is telling you to fucking come out here. You little mother fuckers."

And he just, it's like you've lost them now, Nick. They were like, "Mother fucks can open the door."

Yeah. And he goes, "I'm done with this. I'm going to go get my tools."

So Samma grabs the power tools.

She talks all and stuff.

She says, "This is a soul's all. It's called a soul's all because it's soul's all."

She sort of starts door, sort of.

So he says, "It's a terrible attempt really. It reminded me of those awful, awful electric souls you'd have in the 80s trying to cut your roast beef on a Sunday."

Do you remember them?

Yeah, that was a good call. Everyone is like, "Fashionable to have it."

My mum and dad had a bread, an electric bread knife.

And it didn't really cut for all. If we didn't cut the butter.

Everyone in the 80s had one.

My dad would stand there in the kitchen.

I'd be looking at thinking, "Nothing's happening, dad. Is it?"

That bread is not getting cut.

But the dad's weren't avid because they were the ones who went out and said, "Oh, look, my tree. I bought this gadget home. It'd be great to use."

We could say a word against it.

We had all of them, Gav. We had an ice cream maker.

Yeah, we had one of them. We had an ice cream maker that we used like twice.

It got left on top of the kitchen cupboard for about 20 years. They bought every gadget that would come out in the 80s.

My mum and dad were like, "Oh, yeah, we'll get an ice cream maker and we'll make ice cream every week."

It's an electric soul one. The big, sort of, beige plastic body with a little sauce.

They used that in the new, well, not the new. In the 2018 evil dead movie, she uses that.

Doesn't she?

That's true.

It's a really crappy twist that I remember.

American listeners, please tell us and Canadian listeners. Tell us, please.

Is this something you've got going on still because of the England that went out?

But it was a thing.

It was a thing, for sure.

I'm seeing it anyway.

Cage goes upstairs to get his gun, but it looks like, "Oh, my God, it's not gun."

Then he hears shots.

Perfect timing. Get out of the stage.

Mum's been shot.

Joshua's shot mum through the door.

Where is she shot?

In the shoulder.

In the shoulder.

Just in the shoulder.

Could be bad if it hit a ball.

Not too bad, but it's not too bad, you hear.

She's like, "Why have you got a gun?" He's like, "I bought it from security for protection!"

This is it.

Yeah, and unfortunately, is that thing which happens?

Is it when people buy their guns from section and the kids get them?

Because there's a shot that clip later on of the action you then goes to the kid.

And it will montage of him in his pants.

To get him in the mirror and stuff.

It's just like how many times does this happen and kids shoot themselves?

You know?

It's like, "What password did you put there?"

I put the son's Joshua wherever.

I put Josh's day to birth.

So Josh's day gone great.

So it's my day to birth, brilliant.

What this film manages to do quite cleverly at this point now is we...

Everything's a bit like a cartoon at this point.

But because we're looking at it like a bit of a cartoon and everything's a little bit crazy,

they can sneak some good messages in like the gun stuff,

like the women's side and the men's side of growing old.

All these little messages are in there if you look.

But on the surface, it looks like a crazy stupid Nicholas Cage, you know, almost slasher.

But actually, there are some good stuff built into it as well,

which again, on a second or a third viewing, you'll be like, "Ah, okay, pretty cool, pretty cool."

Yeah, the gun stuff definitely is good that they snuck that in there.

I think Cage is unhappiness and his thing is just it's character arc,

rather than saying it's just sneaks in because that's just...

Curry's on a field of whole film.

But yeah, popping the gun thing in there is quite...

He banned the job as a boy.

He banned the job as a boy.

Unfortunately, seeing the kid jump,

running around his pants with a gun.

He bandages up his wife.

Curry...

They're not rigging up some gas pipe in there, they're not.

Yeah, well, you know, Curry and Josh are still in the basement.

They're wondering, "How are we going to get out of this?"

So the parents cut the gas mains, hook up a hose pipe,

wheel it around the side of the house,

and tuck it through the basement window.

So basically, they're going to gas their kids.

And while she's doing that, Mum notices the chopped up Chinese girl's body

in the bin.

She goes back in and she says, "Right, that's all hooked up."

"Lisa's in the bin."

"That's a mess, we'll have to clean up."

Honestly, she's a cleaner, you think she's cleaning up her own mess.

And he's like, "Oh, I've always said she's no good."

And then he says, "Any minute now, we're going to hear him coughing."

And they're like laughing about the fact that the kids are going to get gas in this basement.

And unfortunately, their kids are like MacGyver.

Because they hook up some matches to the bottom of the door.

And when they wake up, they're actually very quickly just beneath sort of dunees.

And the mum's had the doors just looking at the doors real close up,

kind of, in their same stowlers, a silo shot of looking at Jack Nixon

and a shining look at the door real close up to their face.

There's a sound of like an airplane coming down.

It's a drone's, a sound which goes on for about 25 seconds,

which is quite a substantial lot when you watch the movie.

Again, the sound is on and the idea.

But I don't know what it's meaning, but I quite enjoyed it.

I actually ran it back to this to again.

But it's a sound of like an airplane going down and down and down and down.

And it's like a while.

There's an interesting shot as well, where just as they're about to start the gas,

the bullet holes in the door and where she's trying to cut it.

She puts masking tape over the, and then the door to looks through.

She puts a finger through it and she almost stabs her finger.

Yeah, so that's a really good, you know, it reminds you that these aren't,

they're not appearance anymore, whatever these things are.

And the MacGovid children are going as, as, as, as, as, as, as, tape down

to book matches down to the door and a striker on the, the, the,

other side of the door.

So basically when the door opens, it's going to strike matches.

Yeah, and it pull, it boom, it blows, uh, Nicholas Cage

and the door.

Some of the fly through the house.

Yeah.

Kendall wakes up.

Um, she grabs the pulverizing mallet.

She chases Charlie.

They sort of fight.

Um, Damon wakes up.

Let's not forget Carly's boyfriend Damon's there.

He wakes up and he helps, um, Carly fight her a mom.

They end up locking mom in the cupboard in the bedroom.

Um, and Joshua comes in and he's like, where's mom?

And she's in the cupboard, but she's got a co-hanger gav.

Yeah.

A bit more of a mind's like.

Yeah, she bends it around and it cuts right through like a fish through the hook

through, um, poor old Damon.

He's been getting knocked out, cut with glass bottles and he gets a co-hanger

through his mouth.

This guy must really love Carly.

Um, he's really doing everything he can to look after him.

Um, and it's a really, really good stunt now,

because he gets knocked downstairs and it's a real stunt.

It's not CGI, you know, it's a stunt man getting knocked over the banister

and we see him land on the sofa then on the floor.

Um, and it looks great.

Really good stunt.

And this is where Cage gets the sews all because it's sars.

Oh, and he's going after his kids.

They corner their children in the kitchen.

Damon.

Yep, this is great.

This is great writing.

It's a great little something that was set up earlier.

They're just about to kill their children.

The children are crying, you know, please, please don't do this.

And like you said, Gavdingdon, what is it?

Uh, it's mum and dad.

Nicholas Cage's parents are here.

As a whole, I'm sorry.

Oh, God, I'll get rid of them.

No worries.

And these names are all right, mum and dad.

Doesn't think anything over it.

And even to see audience until his dad and mum, uh, mum macism is dad trying to start stabbing him out.

Yeah, he gets a pepper spray straight to the face and it's dad who's the Vietnam war vet.

Let's not forget.

That's going for him.

It just starts stabbing him like something from a guy.

And then you go, oh, yeah, mum and dad.

And they work like a team, don't they?

Cause like he says, she pepper sprays him and then dad comes straight up.

Oh, it's like they've been outside going, what should we do when we get there?

You, per spray, oh, I'll start stabbing him.

It's like parents, my parents would have back in the day, not turned the door.

And I'll give Daniel the flowers and if you give him the cake, but this time they're like,

I'll do the pepper spray and then you stab him up.

Yeah.

Alright, yeah, what do you do that?

Um, yeah, so yeah, the parents enter the fray and we just get a lot of chasing now.

There is this bit does go on from it, but the bit I really, really like is the three generations.

You've got Joshua who's probably eight or nine being chased all around the house by a crazy Nicholas cage.

Whilst he is also being chased around the house by a crazy Lance Henrickson.

And it's just this funny three generational chase thing that's going on all around the house.

It's really silly and we get some flashbacks of Nicholas cage being a good dad and, you know,

talking about the Pontiac Firebird and how he trashed his dad's car.

He had to rebuild it with his own money.

And that made him do that.

And meanwhile, Nicholas cage's mum isn't attacking Kendall because she's not her mum,

but she does sort of call her a slut and a bitch.

And so, you know, you were never getting it from high stand and all this kind of stuff.

Anyway, the fight breaks outside.

Nicholas cage uses the Pontiac Firebird to run over his mum and dad.

Yeah, Damon is still alive somehow and he knocks out Kendall with a shovel cage and Blair.

Wait, mum and dad wake up tied up in the basement and they sort of sit there.

They go, let us go kids. Come on, let us go.

And the kids say, yeah, we love you, mum and dad, but we're not going to let it go.

We really, really love you.

And the last line is cut off, actually.

He says, we really love you too.

But sometimes we just want to.

And that's the end.

We just want to kill you.

And yeah, I'm guessing it's a frustrated dad wrote this thing.

Yeah, I don't know the ending. There's no ending.

It's a bit like I know it.

It does kind of come out of nowhere.

You'd like to see some I don't care usually, but I do sometimes.

I've got the house or something.

It's a house in the house. That's it.

Okay, it doesn't like it again.

I like a conclusion. I do like a conclusion.

Yeah, I don't mind open ended film was, but this needed something.

It's like it was it stinks off.

I've got a great idea. Great.

I've got an ending. No. Oh, well, don't worry about it.

Okay.

But because he made a bit of money with the crank movies and that ghost road movie

was it is awful, but also it's a bit of a cult movie now.

He's a bit of an extreme director thrown into the case in the mix.

This is probably his best film, I would say.

I enjoyed the first crank, but this is his best film.

I really?

First time I watched it.

And I hold my hands up. I really enjoyed it.

Second time I watched it. I really didn't like it.

This is the third time I've watched it.

And I got a lot more out of it this time around because I'm doing it as a reviewer.

It gets like a 6.5 out of 10 from me.

I do enjoy it and I would I would watch it again in a few years if it's on like the horror channel.

Or just happens to be on somewhere. I'd watch it again.

I went right on my way to watch it, but I always enjoyed Nicholas Cage.

Samu Blair is quite hot as well.

This is your second time watching it.

Thoughts.

"Oh, for a quarter of fours."

For a quarter or a quarter.

"They said them.

"Yeah."

"So it's got its flaws but, because it's only an hour and 25 minutes, although it feels

like it actually is welcome.

It does get for me to be and get the job done really, doesn't it?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess it's all right.

Do I give it a thumbs up or a thumbs up?

I don't give it a thumbs up.

I think it gets you some polish points too and stuff but, uhh, I'm not probably ever going

to watch it again."

"Well, most importantly, let's have what Rachel says about her."

She says, "Mom and Dad, I can't believe this movie came out in 2018, but I only just

found out about it now.

It's a black comedy and who better to be the dad or she writes the "da" because she's

Irish, the "da" the Nicholas Cage and "Selma Blair" is great as well.

She has MS, I mentioned this earlier, which is a fuck of a disease that is close to my

heart.

She would have went public with her diagnosis shortly after the release of this film, so

she gets a massive round of applause from me.

What an exciting storyline.

There's many, many good scenes.

When Cage answers the door to his grandparents, uhh, the soul's all, and this is a really great

idea, honey.

All good, crazy, maniacal laughs.

And no matter how funny it got there, there were scenes that brought you back to the absolute

horror of this situation.

We said that, there were times where this movie doesn't hold back.

He said, the scene in the hospital with his sister who just given birth is one of those

very moments, and the parents pacing the fence line, then going into 28 days later mode

when they go over the railings.

Very, very scary.

Yeah.

So that's all I'll read of her message for now.

Okay.

She enjoyed it.

That's why she's chosen it.

And thank you.

It's always a pleasure to talk Nicholas Cage, Rachel.

This is a film that Gav Watch recently, you know, and yeah, it's good stuff.

Cage, cage rage.

Well, it's always good to Nicholas Cage, but yeah, thanks for that, Rachel.

Surely, surely, Nicholas Cage must be one of our most, like, reviewed actors on our

show.

We've probably done 7, 8, 9, 10 cage movies now.

It probably is.

Yeah, and he's the unofficial mascot of the haunted hill.

We know that.

Yeah.

I would imagine he is.

I don't think anyone else would be.

Well, there is any one other person that might be, and that person is just into the room,

and that person is Mr. Bill Murray, who is here to lead us into the world of the strange,

aren't you Bill?

He's already.

What have you got on today?

Well, what's this?

I don't understand.

Oh, you've come as a character from Pulp Fiction.

Okay.

Yeah, well, I can see it's the Gimp.

Gav, what do you think about this Gimp, Bill Murray, Gimp outfit?

I don't understand why.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, the Gimp isn't sleeping, Bill.

Can you please need us into the world of the strange.

Why, Bill?

Why?

Why do this?

[Laughter]

Hi, welcome back to the world of the strange.

[Laughter]

World of the strange world.

It's a strange world.

I've got a couple of stories, stories.

You love a story, don't you?

Jack and Orie.

Yes.

Jack, you know, we were supposed to story morning glory.

I've got stories about skeletons.

I've got stories about Halloween time travel and snakes.

Snakes.

Let's start with Halloween.

Okay.

We're talking about a Florida, so bear in mind Florida, a charity shop in Florida.

But a Halloween display of stuff that they were selling, you know what it's like in a charity

shop, they were put the stuff up when it sees no, because they're, well, people will come

in and buy their Halloween stuff.

So an anthropologist made a haunting discovery after he found a real human skull on display

in a charity shop in Florida.

Nice.

Police were alerted after the customer suspected that the head, smiling at them with decorations

were over it, was more than just a decoration.

This shopper happened to be an anthropologist who is someone who identifies, who specialises

in the scientific study of humans.

I think so.

It says gender, identify, then.

It happens to be a identify ass, what was that?

Which means they were able to tell the difference immediately that this was a real skull, not

an artificial skull.

The owner of the store said that the skull was found in a storage unit years ago and they

put it out every Halloween.

You're talking the source of the lambs.

He puts out every Halloween.

No one ever buys it, but we put it out because it sort of attracts people to come in for

Halloween.

A real skull.

Okay.

Yeah, a real skull.

The office, the sheriff's office said in a twist of not so funny events.

The Lee County Sheriff's office were notified of a skull in a charity shop in North Fort Myers.

Based upon the observations of the detectives of the scene, the skull is indeed that of a

human.

It has been confiscated, carried through the tests.

They don't believe this is suspicious in any way.

However, there won't be displaying skulls anymore.

So there we go.

It's quite a lot.

Just a little Halloween over a spill from last month for you.

Dave who is my mate who'd frequently funny enough does my tattoos and his tail of the

pod has got a real off skull.

He bought it.

Well, they used real skulls back in the day in Hollywood movies, you know.

Yeah, Paul Gus.

Yeah.

Indiana Jones, you know, Hose on haunted hill.

The first time in charity shop, I've heard it as a decoration in the window.

I've heard of it in when they go to the sort of freak show, you know, traveling carnival

places and sometimes they've actually had like real bodies, you know, stuff like that.

But yeah, well, let's move on to a very stupid dad.

Gav, very stupid dad.

Well, he was a parental theme of this episode.

It does.

The parental units.

Here's the headline.

You're going to be so angry with this man.

Here's the headline.

Man, man takes home one of the most venomous snakes in Australia to show his children who

all led up in hospital.

I'm not going to get angry because this is like one of his extreme cases when I, when I

get an electrical device, which costs hundreds of pounds, gets broken by a child and they, everybody's

just like, oh no, everyone looks at you.

You don't do it.

You don't go there.

You just go, okay, so this gentleman for here take this venomous spider home snake snake

to show his children, but unfortunately, it bit them all.

Well, let me read the story.

So a snake expert says, well, this is a learning curve for all of us.

Is it?

Because there was a man hiking and he, he realized not everything is very well here.

I've been vomiting for 12 hours straight.

It's been bitten by that snake.

Yeah.

Good one, man.

So a man who found a snake out hiking took it home to show his children after it already

bitten him.

You then thought, I will take it home, show my kids.

Did he know?

No, I reckon it's my mistake to get a contact.

He might have taken it back with him.

Then again, you take a photo, wouldn't you?

Because if it was bitten, you need to know what it is.

It bit him and he didn't.

He thought it was a non venomous diamond python.

And he thought, well, it might have bitten me, but my kids all love to see it.

Let me take it home and show them.

I don't know.

I assumed he was taking it, but like I said, you'd take a photo of it to get me right antidote.

No, he just wanted to show his kids.

But then he got sick and sicker.

He got really sick and had to go to hospital.

But his kids at that point have been bitten too.

His hands were badly swollen and they realised that the snake was not, he showed them a photo

and they said, oh my god, this is a hammerball type of snake, it was no, but a fatal snake.

Why do they think he is such a fucking snake expert?

I don't know.

Why would you trust in your faith if you're not an actual 110% snake fucking professional?

9 out of 10 people bitten by this snake die if they don't get treated.

These are penis.

The hike was extremely lucky to make it out after being bitten with first aid.

It could have ended up a lot worse.

Luckily, his children were unharmed, but the snake was running a muck in his house for

6 hours until they found it.

They were halfway through treating him and they said, so where is this snake now, sir?

Well, there's a hang with my children.

What?

I took it home to show the kids, you know?

I thought they liked the sea.

Sroof.

Fucking idiot.

Bonnie, get rid of the fucking snake.

Funged up his wife.

You know that snake, but why?

What's up with him?

Where is it?

Oh, it's Johnny's gone to sleep in the bed with him.

Cuddling in it.

So there we go.

That's your second story.

Thought that was fun.

I'm not getting angry because it's a waste of my energy.

Now I've got two more stories.

One at either end of the scale.

Okay.

We're going to go with high brow science fiction, very American story to kick things off.

The other one is a very low brow British story.

They're going to compare nicely.

Story time with Daniel.

So this is fascinating.

Have you ever heard of Andrew Carson?

Is a man who made $350 million claims to be a time traveler?

No.

Okay.

In March 2003, the FBI arrested a 44 year old man named Andrew Carson.

He just enjoyed the luckiest run on the stock market in history.

He used $800, put them into investments, which immediately made $350 million.

When was he arrested?

2003.

Okay.

So the authorities immediately saw this and thought, well, that you could only do this if

you have inside information.

Yeah.

So they arrested him.

But instead of denying it, he said, look, I'll tell you what's actually happened.

I'll fully confess I'm not an insider trader, not all, not cheating in any way in some ways.

Let me explain what's happened here.

I knew that this would work because I am a time traveler and I've come back 250 years from

the future just to play around and see if I could make this money work with this $800

and I did.

I'm a time traveler, Gavin, from the year, whatever, 250 years from now.

There's no comment from me yet.

Continue.

At first, his confession was not believed by the FBI.

Obviously.

I'd be worried if he did.

I suppose it was.

Well, unless it's moulder.

Yeah.

I don't know, Scully.

I can't believe that guy.

Did he mention anything about probing?

I think it is a time travel episode.

A spokesman for the Securacies and Exchange Commission said this guy is either a lunatic

or a pathological liar.

He made capitalized on unexpected business developments which simply can't be pure luck.

The only way he could pull this office with illegal inside information, he's going to sit

inside a jail cell until he agrees to give up this information and who his sources are.

But Andrew never gave up his sources.

Very admitted, he'd made a tactical error, is part of his plea bargain to the FBI said,

"Look, if you let me go, I will give you the whereabouts of a summer bin Laden.

I'll give you the cure for AIDS, because don't forget I'm from 250 years in the future."

You better hang on, no.

When he was getting ready, packing his bag to go back in time, right?

Yeah.

Did he think I need bargaining chips?

What can I throw at them?

Everyone might know the cure for AIDS by then.

Why?

Why in that time does everybody know the cure for AIDS?

Is it true?

Why?

If it's a cure, they'll need to.

There's no point of it.

I don't understand what it is you got to read down on paper.

I don't know.

What is it?

I don't know.

Okay.

Come here.

It's not known whether he revealed these secrets to the FBI.

No, he didn't.

But the FBI were determined to prove that he was lying, but they searched and searched

and searched.

And they found no records of his existence.

He had no birth certificate.

There was no evidence that this man had ever existed before their arrest of him in 2003.

I think I have heard of his story.

Very very strange.

The weirdest part of this story is...

He's banishes, doesn't he?

Yes.

They put up a 1 million pound bail that was paid by a completely unknown anonymous person.

Honey vanished and don't ever heard or seen from him again.

That's it.

So the guy made $350 million out of $800.

But that probably isn't...

The biggest, that's the biggest stock market jump in history.

He was just testing the wars out here because he didn't, he's not likely to tell that money

back with him because what that money in that time isn't going to be that great either.

Yeah, it's not going to be in anything.

There's probably no money.

Probably like 300,000.

There won't be money in that point, I don't think.

We'll have everything we need.

So he used to say, "I find that, troubled is, I find it a weird thing to come back and try and do.

And the only one who's done that."

It's an interesting story because...

There are a few questions.

Yeah, and the ending of it is nothing ever happened because he vanished.

He paid a million dollar bail on for him and...

That's a lot of money and then he's gone.

That's quite strange, yeah, and never seen again sort of thing.

And no record of him, that is really...

The only photo of him in existence is the mugshot that they took of him when they arrested him.

There's no...

They don't know who that guy is.

It's just strange that why, if not other people come back in time and done stuff or...

Or maybe they have, but just not this right now or while we're live and record of him.

I don't know.

I can get deep of you on this, but go to the next story.

So, yeah, there we go.

We'll go from that one to the go from time.

What do you think, though?

I think it might be a time traveler.

Okay, well, he's gone so maybe.

So we go from time traveling stock market, you know, cheating to this very British headline.

And this is your neck of the word scuff.

Sorry, this takes place in.

Here's the headline.

Woman rides motorbike naked, then gets fingered in the street and punches a blind man.

Wow.

Doesn't sound like Sankin's sorry, and this is maybe croiden.

At woking.

Oh, okay, yeah.

Woking. Woking's not far, yeah.

This lady has been jailed for 13 months and banned from entering woking again.

Right, funny thing is at woking, just at the train station, just opposite, there's a couple

of concrete sort of statuistic, like a soldier stuff.

Just there for whatever reason, and massive, big flower pots, flower things where you could lean

against.

Don't know why all the drunks go there and the odd sky kid.

And they all, "Oh, I'm bad."

And you walk past them and just hanging out.

And that's where they hang out.

And there's always like a woman who's almost boobs hanging out and stuff.

So, yeah, that is just the other street, yeah.

Well, I'm not going to reveal her name, because this is a fairly recent story.

But she's been banned from woking and jailed for 13 months after she punched the blind man

and was caught in the middle of a sex act in the street.

It's not like he was looking.

She's described as a mess by the judge.

After she turned up to the court four hours late.

The judge revealed that she'd also been caught riding through Surrey Tane's naked on a motorbike.

But, is she the passenger or is she driving?

She's driving it.

Right, OK.

But the judge said, "We're not convicting you of anything here.

This is nothing to do with that particular sentence.

That's particular incident."

But I must mention that you have been caught several times riding a motorbike naked.

She pleaded guilty to outrage in public decency and she was caught and says, "Yes, yes, I was caught in the middle of a sex act."

The judge said, "Yes, no doubt this was for money."

So, I think she might be a sex worker, I'm not sure.

But the prosecutor just says, "You were spotted in woking on beep road being fingered by a man on July 29th this year."

He said, "Fingered."

Yeah.

Well, he don't say, "Judges, don't say, "A mother."

A mother with two children approached her and said, "Can you please stop what you're doing, my children here, to which this lady said, "Fuck off or I'll punch you!"

And carried on getting fingered.

Yeah, I guess.

She was then arrested at the scene, the police said, "Well, we arrested her. She did actually have her jeans pulled up, but her nickers were in her handbag."

Right.

Okay, woken up.

Apparently she...

That's a priest Andrew, but doesn't remember the party in with a 17-year-old and he was having pizza and not sweating.

Well, she apparently is in the habit of befriending vulnerable young men and then taking full advantage of them.

But trouble flared up, one of those men was threatened with being kicked out of his flat by the local council because of his anti-social behaviour.

They argued, and this lady then attacked him.

And because these were just to blind, he couldn't tell how she was hitting him, whether it was her parmer of fist.

She was arrested for the attack and then she assaulted the two officers who arrested her, calling them a fucking cunt.

Okay, I still don't believe the judge should fingered.

He did?

No, he didn't.

It wasn't the judge. It was the prosecutor's case that said it.

Oh, okay.

Any assault of one more person is very serious indeed.

Whether you slapped him or punched him as he doesn't, as he's blind, he doesn't know. You should still not have hit him.

You should not be riding around in front of people on a motorbike with no clothes on.

And you certainly shouldn't be engaging in sex acts with vulnerable young men in the street in front of children.

You're a mess. Your life is a mess. This is the judge. You are a mess. Your life is a mess. I spoke to your son earlier and it's a testament to something in your son's life that he's been to court and find this whole situation awful.

I made a criminal behaviour order against you and restricting your movements of behaviour, your ban from woking and you're going to jail for 13 months.

Wow. Oh, God. Paul, son. Imagine actually a man with a drunk like mom is just getting fingered in the street.

I saw you mother the other day riding a motorbike. Oh, don't tell me that. Don't tell me you saw a riding a motorcycle.

Yeah. So we gone from human schools and a charity shop in Florida to a city Australian dad bringing a snake into his family.

To tell the thing. They're no longer a time traveling bank trading and blind men getting punched in the face and ladies getting fingered in the street.

I'm glad I've woken up that day. Could have been you. It's not far from me. I'll do go there occasionally.

Where would you rather be in that scenario? Would you rather be riding around on a motorbike naked? Would you rather be getting punched by this lady or would you rather be fingering her?

Which one? I want the motorbike a thing in this scenario. What do you want to ride around making on a motorbike?

Yeah, because you can go quite quick and you can just put the money away. I guess I've been a blind one.

So don't want to be riding around naked on a motorbike. If you fall off that's hurting. I've done a minute. That wasn't that isn't one of the options the blind one.

You said it's a blind person and being punched. That's what you said. Oh, okay, did I? Sorry. All right. Would you want to be blind for a day?

Well, that one of these things in there. You went to see it coming. I suppose if you got punched that it'd be easier.

Fair enough. Well, there we go. That's one of the strange. One of those will hopefully tickle your fancy out there. Bill Murray is definitely like the street lady being tickled.

Again, he's sleeping. Good. Bill. Take us out here. Bill. Take us out. That's all the time we've got for this week. I'm where it was strange.

Next week though, Amy Ira, careless pets. Weird. Will she be okay?

You do everything for me. You teach me. You cook for me. Am I a burden? Sweetheart, I could do more. I'm your mom. It's my job to take care of you when you need me. And you need me.

Are you okay, Mom? Of course I'm okay. I have you.

The medication is messed with her head. What's wrong? Sweetheart?

Get out of here! You need me. I really need you to help me.

Roy! Goodnight, sweet tooth. You need me.

You figured it out.

You need me.

Okay, so we're into our second review run number two run from 2020. A home school teenager begins to suspect her mother is keeping a dark secret from her.

Does it just a sentence that's all we need?

I went into this with absolutely no knowledge whatsoever. I did nothing whatsoever. I went to Netflix and went to play.

For me, it felt like a very slow, Bernie type sort of film.

I should mention both of these movies, Mum and Dad and this, both on UK Netflix right now. The director of this movie is a gentleman by the name of Anish Chagannancy.

He directed another movie which I gave out of ten called Searching with John Cho which did really really well.

I wasn't being asked about his name. I just thought it sounded like Chagannancy.

It does sound like Chagannancy. He's not Chagannancy.

Yes, you've seen Searching as well, I believe.

I've got in my collections. Good movie.

And yeah, so far not to reveal too much but I really like what he's done in his career. He's really only done two main films.

This run being the other.

I like what you see.

I like what I see so far and I see what I like.

He also has a...

She has a debubbidiboo. She's a fringwab, she's a scumbag, a debubbidiboo.

I like what I see.

Even about. It's the Kazbyshow.

He's out of the movie. He must be innocent.

Oh yeah, of course.

This is Sarah Paulson who I mentioned earlier.

Gav's not 100% video with her.

I looked her up and I've list the first thing I've ever seen her in.

I've not seen any other thing she's been in. I looked up her whole...

Easy.

Back at the castle log.

Her box, if you're not seeing bird box or family guy or...

I've seen family guy but that's her voice.

She's not...

Yeah.

American Horror Story, American Crime Story.

Oh, I have seen the cool actually.

I've seen the cool.

I was actually in her.

She's awesome.

She is a...

She's not in her.

Everything she's in, particularly the American Horror Story.

She's a really great actor and can turn herself into a lot of different characters.

But she's good in this.

I've never heard of this before.

I thought she's good.

Yeah.

As an off-spaul.

I've never seen her as a baddie too much.

She's normally not too evil.

But like you said, it's a slow burn in this movie.

And she is...

You really feel for the young lady, her daughter with this play by Kira Allen,

who is a real life wheelchair user.

They didn't want to cast.

Apparently the studio told you the idea of casting an able-bodied person.

Oh, I didn't notice.

Yeah.

So you really feel for her because like with a pregnant woman or a child in a film that's in peril,

you always feel like, oh, they're quite vulnerable.

I hope they're okay.

Because this...

Not that we should feel this way, but because she is in a wheelchair and she's not able to 100% defend herself.

It gets the things that happen to her.

You do feel for this...

This... the daughter in this.

And it's great.

And we will...

Spoil this immediately by saying this is a movie about Muncher's and Spy Proxy,

which is where the...

Normally the mum, actually.

This is a real life thing.

And I'm sure many of you listeners will have heard of this.

Where the parent, normally the mother, keeps the child, daughter or son sick

so that they can continue to look after them forever, essentially.

It's a mental illness.

It's a recognized disease or disorder.

I've done an episode on my podcast.

The other podcast is in the early one, maybe...

Very early.

So if you guys check out the High Stranger's podcast and just...

Muncher's.

The Google search.

Famously M&M's mum, Kim Madras, had Muncher's.

She kept M&M or Marshall very sick as a child, very small weathered...

...whether it's sorry.

And that's the same sort of thing as what's going on in here.

So that's kind of the film spoiled for you.

But I feel like, you know, we always say spoiler, spoiler, spoiler.

So going into knowing that...

And I kind of guessed that within a few minutes of this film.

That might be the case, because this was the first time watch for me and Gav.

But I'm going to say it right now.

This was fucking great.

This film really kept the tension going for me.

It's very much a Hitchcock thriller.

It really was.

You got your real window.

It's not a horror movie.

It's a thriller.

A dark thriller, isn't it?

Yeah, you know, it's the only elements of it that are close to horror

or because there is a...

There is nature throughout, really, isn't it?

Yeah, and there is something...

There is peril, there is threat.

And...

And flowers in the attic, do you remember that movie?

I do.

But also, I get a really strong hereditary vibe from this as well.

It's the family dynamic as well, and the way the house is, and it's quite dull.

Yeah, it's a little desaturated, a beige colour throughout.

It's a small production, but because of that, it's done...

It's polished.

It's polished.

Yeah, it's really polished.

It's good sets, good acting.

It's perfect for what this is, I can say.

It's a real slow burn, and it's a story.

You go along with the journey with the girl.

That's who you're...

Sorry, not...

Excuse me, I'm running along with.

That's who you sort of travel with is in her journey and her...

Like when she gets out of the building, and she's crawling along,

you know, up on the rooftop and stuff.

You're with her on that, doing that whole sort of journey.

It's good, and you really want her to get out of it, so you're very much with her, and it's quite good.

But yeah, at first, at the beginning, obviously, it has that kind of frilly twist thing at the first,

at the beginning, you're with the mum, thinking the mum's done the right thing.

How much she loves her, and it shows how much she loves her throughout the beginning.

Through things.

Yeah, and it's a great little bit of acting from Sarah Paulson to be over,

and she probably would have jumped at this script because she gets to switch from being this,

what looks like a lovely doting mother to suddenly finding out that she's a monster.

The other thing we probably should say...

It's all right for the beginning, isn't it?

Yeah, because, spoiler, you probably need to watch this, but...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, if not, you know.

The other thing we should say right at the beginning is this is just...

There's a lot of misery, Stephen King's misery in this as well.

Yeah, misery.

There's a few scenes that feel like they borrow, but in a good way,

from that, from that movie.

Well, yeah, let's start then.

So, we start off by seeing a baby being recessed, resuscitated in hospital.

I just...

The moment's after it's been born, that baby doesn't seem well,

but it's been in an incubator, and we do see Sarah Paulson, mum, crying,

and then we cut to present day.

So, we assume that that baby is fine, turned into the daughter.

And she's in a wheelchair.

And we do get a list of, just for the credits, we get a list of conditions,

which we learn then within a few moments.

This daughter has all of these conditions. She has diabetes.

She has a problem with her lungs, where she needs to cough up.

She has rashes all over her.

She also can't use her legs.

She's got seven or eight serious conditions.

We do actually see the rashes, that isn't a figment of any imagination.

Well, none of the things are a figment of the imagination,

because mum knows what drugs to give her to bring on all of these conditions.

But, yeah, you're right.

No, we do see the rashes, and this girl thinks quite rightly so.

My mum's looking after me, especially, can.

My mum loves me.

Yeah, it's the trust going.

You can kind of see it, and you feel sorry for her, when she realises not to jump ahead.

But when she realises that the pill isn't a correct pill,

and she starts to think, it's kind of like you can imagine going,

"Oh, that's right. Mum's put the wrong thing in like that."

And then slowly, just in that next ten minutes, five minutes, going,

"It's my mum trying to do this on purpose.

I mean, something which I shouldn't have, like what?

And again, great action for me.

And it's kind of got a sort of, I feel like a sort of a lamb's in a way like the tension,

not the type of film, but the sort of the way it's built with the editing and stuff as well.

And just the way she's, like you say, with Fingmy Jiggy, the snowy movie,

it's been like trapped in a place and not being able to get out.

And obviously the wheelchair situation has been up on the top floor

and the stair gate being locked off, so she can't use it like the chair.

So yeah, it's got a lot of cool things going on for it in a way.

It's nice little tight, little furlough.

Well, Mum's had it good for 17 years.

She's been able to look after her daughter for 17 years, home schooling her.

And she's basically keeping her from the outside world.

You know, she hasn't found out anything about the outside world.

She's 17 and she is about to go...

Sorry, but I say not even allow like the internet, like it's locked off at her night times, it's turned off.

And she's like one computer in the like, the little downstairs.

Only when things start, she has the internet, but then things,

the internet doesn't work when she needs it later on in the movie.

As far as she knows, her daughter, Chloe, has got everything she needs.

And she's even applied to some colleges.

But that has meant that she will now be allowed out into the outside world.

And she will find out potentially that everything she's been told is a lie.

So Mum has now gone into crazy mode, which we don't know any of this yet.

This is all going on behind the scenes.

We just surprise her, we know Chloe's just this ill girl in a wheelchair.

Been looked after by her mum and her mum.

She's at this home school association meeting with all these other people.

She says, "Oh, my daughter is brilliant. She's going to be brilliant when she goes out there.

I'm sure she's going to be brilliant, but secretly she's thinking she's not going anywhere.

She's not going anywhere. I'm going to hide all the college letters from her."

We don't know this though.

No, we don't know this at all.

You know, if you like talk about it again now, or rewatch this film.

At this point, like I said, I didn't know nothing.

I didn't read the blurb. I don't know if it was all run and the girls in the wheelchair.

I was like, "Okay, what's going on there?"

But I didn't really think of it much.

But yes, I didn't know which way it was going.

So yes, I still trust the mum like the art protagonist does.

Totally. And we find out two weird things, not weird.

Two things here now.

We find out that Chloe, the daughter, is extremely clever, very intelligent,

got a great mind for science and mechanics.

She's building some electronic device.

She's really great with computers, all that kind of stuff.

So she's a very clever girl.

Could definitely get into a lot of the colleges she's a pineapple.

She's got skills.

I like the interest she's in because it's an offbeat nerdy sort of stuff.

But she is devoted.

And I like that.

She's well into it. She's a problem solver.

I think that.

I think that. I like her to stay in and not do stuff and shit.

But in contrast to that, we also have went out there at night time.

Mummy goes down into the basement to a special office that she's got in the basement.

She knows that Chloe can't get to because it's downstairs.

And she drinks a big old pint of red wine and watches video tapes of her daughter as a baby.

And she has a funny look on her face while she does it.

It's all a bit sort of weird.

I'm somebody else now.

It's very strange.

But that's fine.

So Chloe is waiting for letters from college.

Mum says to her every day, look, as soon as the letter arrives, Chloe will bring it to you.

I promise you I won't open the letter.

I know you're excited to hear about from Washington College.

But I'll let you know.

One day she brings in some shopping, leaves it on the table and Chloe thinks,

"Oh, maybe the letters are in there."

She finds some tablets, Gavin.

Oh.

And she thinks, "Oh."

It's weird. They've got my mum's name on these tablets.

But they're my tablets.

Yeah, that's like your reaction there is her reaction.

It's where you're like, "Oh, because you can't."

But I didn't.

Because I still didn't know what was going on either.

So I'm probably going to ask, "Is the mum trying to do that?"

So I think I'm learning at the same time she is.

And I quite enjoy this.

Well, I think to be honest with you, I wasn't that far ahead of us.

That's the same.

I think the audience is learning it as they are with her.

Well, later on, obviously, Mum comes in the room and says,

"Oh, Chloe, here's your tablet."

And Chloe says, "I'm just going to ask you some questions."

The tablets, they had your name on them and Mum starts gaslighting it.

She says, "No, no, no, no, no. The receipt had my name on them.

The receipt was wrapped around the jar.

But they're your tablets. Don't worry.

But they have changed the way that the tablets look.

They're a different brown now.

So that's why they look like that.

But don't worry.

It's not anything weird.

It's just the receipt had my name on it.

So the next day when Mum's out, Chloe goes in the bathroom,

and she's just like a grabbery device to pick them down off the shelf.

She pills back the label that's got her name on it.

And underneath, it is, in fact, her Mum's name.

Oh!

Yeah.

It's not good.

It's not good, is it?

It's like, like you said, it's a good thrill, is it?

Well, we actually have coming up saying a real Hitchcock type for a thing

is where she's in.

She's quickly like in the cinema and said,

"I'm just going to get the toilet or the kiosk or whatever."

And as critical onto the chemist to find out where it's pills are.

But we will get to it.

Well, she spits back up the pill.

And she sneaks downstairs at night.

Now she's got a stair lift, which makes some noise, but it's fairly silent.

So she goes down and says, she goes online.

She thinks, "I'm just going to Google these new drugs, because something in the back of my brain is nagging at me here."

I don't know what it is.

She just says she hits enter.

She types in the type of the drug into Google.

Just says she's about to hit enter the internet.

Dice, she thinks.

What the fuck?

Now what she doesn't see, but what we as the audience see is her mum in the background behind her,

like a ghost just watching her from the corner of the room.

That is terrifying.

When I saw that I was saying to Alice, Jesus Christ, her mum's in the back there.

She's like, "See her? What the fuck?"

It's just like this shadow, like horrible, great stuff.

Yeah, and that's off first in the case.

And I was like, "Oh, she's done it on purpose."

We're now ahead of the door to knowing what's going on.

Yeah, you're right.

We said we'd call up and we were slightly ahead.

Now we now know that mum will do anything to keep this facade up.

And then the morning mum is on the phone and I use air quotes on the phone to the internet people.

"God, this isn't good enough. What do I pay for? This is nonsense. Come on."

What do you mean there's going to be no internet for the next week?

This is all for, and she sort of turns to her adult rafters.

And she says, "So is the internet that?"

And she's like, "Yeah, how did you know that? Yeah, I tried to use it at the night, mum."

But it wouldn't work. She said, "Oh, what do you want?"

And she said, "Oh, we're looking up so I can do a print."

And then she says, "Oh, yeah, I can't guarantee when we're going to get it back Chloe.

We might not have it for a month. Who knows? They just wouldn't tell me."

That's nonsense. If your internet goes out, you get it back up within 24-48 hours normally,

depending on the severity of what's happened.

But mum is BS in her. Really BS in her. Really gaslighting her.

And her mum must have known that this day was going to come.

Really tense moment now, because mum goes outside to do some gardening.

Chloe thinks, "Right, if I can't get online, I'm going to call the pharmacy."

I just try to have that long, long, cable phone.

Oh, yeah. That line.

So she rings, "Directory inquiries." And it's taken forever.

Hello, Directory inquire, yeah, 4-1-1. How can I help?

I don't care, just anyone. You're a nearest pharmacy. Yeah, just put me through to that one.

And all the while, she keeps looking in the garden, making sure mum's still in the garden.

She gets through to the pharmacy. And then she hangs up, because she realises it's going to be a charged call.

And it will show on the phone bill, because it says, "The next call will charge you."

And she hangs up. So she thinks, "Oh, I can't ring them. What am I going to do? What am I going to do?"

So weird scene, Gav. She rings, just a random number. Makes up a number, doesn't she?

Let's say his name is Kevin.

I like her style, actually.

Yeah, it's great. Let's say his name is Kevin. Ring, ring. You can be Kevin.

Go on, be Kevin. Ring.

Hi! Can you do me a favour? Can you use Google for me?

I know you don't know me. I'm a 17-year-old girl in a wheelchair. And I just need you to Google something for me.

Yeah.

He's like, "What? Why are you doing it?" She's like, "I haven't got the internet."

But then his kids are shanaways. "Hey, stop it! Stop it! Stop it! No! No!"

And what do you sell into me? I'm not selling anything. He comes into it.

"Why? Why can't you do it? I can't. I just can't. I just can't. He starts selling to the kids again and saying,

"You're a great person. You're such a good guy."

She says, "Your wife loves you. You're something your kids love. You're something like that."

And she basically makes them go, "All right, let me do this. This is the weirdest phone call I've ever had."

Or Google it. "How'd you spell it? Try oxy and you type it in."

And he says, "Right. It says that this drug is used to treat heart conditions."

And she says, "Okay, yeah. But what does the pill look like?"

And he says, "It's a red pill. And she's got a bottle of green pills."

So she knows what the green pills are.

So, sis girl is so clever. She's thinking, "What can I do? What can I do? We need to get out the house. What does she suggest?"

"Simma!"

So this is like in misery when he says, "I'd love to have dinner with you one night."

So he can put the drugs in her drink. It's like that. "Mom, can we go to the cinema so that when we're at the cinema, I can say that I need to go and use the bathroom."

And I can go and go to the pharmacy that's across the road from the cinema and speak to them in five minutes while she thinks I'm in the bathroom, drawing the movie.

Very clever stuff.

So she says, "I'm just going to the bathroom."

She does. And then the tension is she's pressing the button, waiting for the zebra crossing.

And then there's people in her way and she's wheeling around them.

There's a good line in the pharmacy. She just pulls the disabled card.

That's why I've written the disabled card because there's a huge queue. And she just says, "Sorry, I'm a very vulnerable girl."

"I'm just going to the disabled card." "I'm just going to the disabled card." "I can't help myself. I can't help myself."

The first guy is annoyed. She says, "Sorry, can I just cut in front of you?"

And he looks around and says, "You want?" And then he sees she's in the word, and he says, "Oh, yes, of course, please do."

But yeah, she jumps straight to the front of the queue. And she says to the lady.

Oh, she says, "Oh, what are you doing here?" This is very strange.

Where's your mum? What are you doing here? She says, "Oh, I need you to tell me what these drugs are that mum got for me."

"We're playing a game." Well, she says that in a minute.

The lady looks at her and says, "Well, there aren't any drugs in your name."

She says, "Oh, sorry, you're right. They're actually in my mum's name."

She says, "Oh, because of data protection, I can't give you that information because it's private. I know it's your mum, but I'm not allowed to give you any information because it's her medication."

She's like, "Well, hang on a minute. I'm playing a scavenger hunt with mum.

And my goal is to find out the name of the drug that she's taking. Mum doesn't think I'll come in here to ask you this."

And she goes, "Oh, I do love a good game, Chloe, but I can't. I'm really sorry. I can't do it."

And all the while, she keeps hearing people coming in, the door goes ding every time.

She's thinking, "Is mum going to come in? Is mum going to come in?" And finally, the woman says to her, "Ah, I've found it. It's not even a medicine. I can tell you what it is."

We actually also linked up with a local veterinary surgery.

And this is a dog tablet. It's to relax the muscles of a dog. It's muscle-relaxing.

She says, "Can you tell me what would happen if a human took it?"

And just as the lady starts to be screened.

Chloe! Chloe!

And mum, he's coming to pharmacy and she runs over just as the lady says, "Well, I guess you wouldn't be able to lose your legs, your limbs properly."

And then she goes into a full-blown panic attack. Mum gives her a diabetic insulin injection. And we fade to black.

And we cut to a scene which I don't know why they left it in, really.

But Sarah Paulson is in the shower with a huge scar on her back showing that she was abused as a child.

That's what this is to demonstrate. Although we don't really come back to it.

But apparently there was some stuff from scenes that they were going to or did film but didn't get it in.

But apparently she was abused as a child by her mother.

And then Sarah Paulson practices what she might say.

So again, she's a bit like the lady from Missouri. She's practicing what she would say if she found out the pharmacy.

"I need to know what it is you told my daughter. I want you to call my daughter and assure her that I wouldn't give her a dog-weir-abla quest."

"Yeah, if your customer's doing it, you're like, 'What? I might spare time. Start ringing out the fucking your daughter saying that.'

'Oh, don't worry. It's alright if I explain yourself now.'

'It's such a weird request, isn't it?'

Well, she then Googles. She goes online. Mum. And she Googles, "What household nori toxins are there?"

So what is there lying around the house that I can use to poison someone or to hurt somebody through chemicals?

So she's now looking up this. She's thinking, "Well, I need to go deeper with this."

Chloe wakes up and she realises that she's locked in her room. The door is locked.

She realises she's just in real window, Hitchcock's real window now.

She's a prisoner right now.

In a wheelchair, yeah. The first thing we as an audience see is a big plate of breakfast from Mum.

But the first thing we as an audience think is, your Mum's just been Googling nori toxins.

Do not eat anything that she's prepared for you.

Yeah, that's an order, isn't it?

Chloe doesn't know that.

It's that earth-state. It's stuck up there in a wheelchair and you can't do anything.

And all you've got to do is, you've got to eat, oh, you're going to starve.

But if you eat, you're just going to stay ill. It's like, oh, shit.

Well, the clever girl that she is, she picks the lock of her bedroom door

and then realises that her Mum has put a rake across the handle on the other side.

But can we, Quim, for this not just do that that quickly,

there's a lab where it's fucking mission to get round into Mum's room.

Oh, no, we're not even there yet.

Yeah, we're not. No, we're not.

She picks the lock from the inside of her bedroom.

But she can't open the door because there's a rake across the outside.

Yeah, okay, then, all right, fine.

So then she thinks, how am I going to get out now?

This is ridiculous.

I know what, even though I can't use my legs, what I'm going to do here is I'm going to...

Fucking ridiculous.

It's amazing.

It's ridiculous.

Why is this amazing? And I'll tell you what, it's fucking ridiculous.

Go. Because she's so desperate.

This is exactly like the scene in Missouri where he drags his dead legs across the floor

to try and, you know, get whatever he's doing and then he knocks the penguin over

and that's how she catches him because he's not the penguin over when he's locking the door.

It's just like that. It's tension.

If you can't use your legs, she's dragging herself across the room.

Oh, great. If you'll listen to this, it's the method.

What were the water and the mouth?

It's fucking ridiculous.

She keeps, so, so, Gav is referring to Chloe keeping a mouth from the water.

She crumbles herself, her disabled body, it doesn't work across the roof.

Before she's done this, she's daisy-chained loads of extension cables together

which she's just happened to have in her round.

With a soldering iron on the end.

With a soldering iron and puts in a big bottle of water, put her mouth,

then she heats up the glass with a soldering iron to her husband's bedroom bed.

Then she crumbles for a quite a long time, drag an extension, daisy-chain extension cable

along with a hot thing, hot iron thing, whatever it is.

Round to her matte parents' window, what happens, then?

She's spits, she heats up the window with a soldering iron.

And then when the glass has been really fully heated, she then spits water on it

and shatters the window.

Fuck off!

Take the, don't make a daisy-chain extension cable.

Don't use the mouth of water.

Just use the brick.

What round there? Use the soldering iron and smash the fucking window, you dopey cow.

I think she did really well.

Fuck off, did she?

It is ridiculous, but I enjoyed watching it.

I was like, what is she gonna do?

This is gonna be incredible.

Alice was saying to me, what has she got in her mouth?

What is she having a seizure? Why is she doing it?

I said, I think she's got a mouthful of water that she's gonna hit.

Oh my god, she's gonna use it with a hot soldering iron.

Alice was like, what would that do?

I said, and just as I said, I was about to sit at the glass hatch and I said that apparently.

It's foam and oak.

Shit, it's so shit.

The eyeful, I was like, oh my god, what is she gonna do?

She gets around there.

I was like, oh my god, she's gonna spit onto the soldering iron and set a fire

from an extension cable in a room.

I set the fire so an ambulance would come along and save her because there's a fire going on in her room.

That's what I feel. No.

Well, she then climbs in through the window, lands on all the broken glass.

What? Has an asthma attack?

I still want to go back to this.

What if she just got up to it, just caught up to it, went and coughed and spat the water out.

What was her plan then?

Crawled right back again.

Have another drink.

Fuck off.

Look, I must admit, you've talked me into this.

This is definitely an area that you have to suspend your disbelief.

But I was enjoying it so much that I went along with the ride for it.

She goes into her bedroom, she has an asthma attack on the floor.

But she manages to...

I don't know, I'm not allowed to go to her.

She has an asthma attack.

And then after that whole fucking adventure stuff, if you hadn't been holding that bull-ass of water in your mouth,

you might not have had asthma attack.

You could buy a brief.

Well, she manages to crawl into her bedroom and grab her ventilator and halo.

And we get a great moment now where she thinks, right, now I can breathe again.

I'm going to go down the stairs.

And as she goes, she's the stairlift.

She's got her own.

She realises it.

Yep.

And it cuts from her.

She just goes mother of...

And it cuts to the next scene.

Which I thought was a nice little scene there.

We then see her just think, right, well, I've got to get down these fucking stairs.

Am I nice?

Could she have not crawled up onto the banister on her stomach a bit in her arms and slid down it?

I don't know.

I think she's the time is of the essence here.

She just froze herself down it.

Well, she throws a wheelchair for us to ball down.

And then she just...

She throws herself onto the wheelchair.

She looks pretty bad when she's landed.

She may have broken some bones here.

I think she should have tried sliding down the banister.

But...

But, gav.

Because she hasn't taken the dog muscle relaxant.

When she wakes up, she looks down at her toes.

She's an umuferman kill-bill moment.

She has a little toe wiggle.

Which is great.

We then cut to mum heading home in the car.

But she manages to leave her.

See my girl.

But Chloe gets out of the house in a wheelchair.

This is my...

This is where the film really got fun.

So good for me with the postman.

The lovely, lovely postman.

Poor old postman.

Dude from In Keepers.

Yeah, male man, Pat Healy.

Play by Pat Healy.

Um, so she's...

She's...

Pat.

Postman Pat.

Here's Pat.

Hello.

Friendly non-UK listeners.

There is an animation cat.

A typical postman.

Pat.

Postman.

That is black and white.

He...

He...

Oh, and in.

What else do we want to do next time?

Just as day is dawning.

Morning.

Pat picks up the post stuff in his...

But, man, not something, I don't know.

Postman Pat.

There you go, Rachel.

You get a bloody thing in...

Postman Pat.

I've never...

You've never done that.

You've never done that?

On that right?

On this.

Um, Postman Pat.

You've never done that.

Do you want to hear what we used to sing at school?

Postman Pat.

Postman Pat.

Postman Pat just ran over his cat.

All his guts are flying.

Postman Pat is crying.

Have you ever seen a cat as flat as that?

That's what we used to sing at school.

Lovely.

[laughs]

Uh, right.

So, this is my favourite scene.

So, she gets out of the house.

She's...

Obviously, the road is flat.

So, she's wheeling us off in the wheelchair through the road.

She hears a car coming and she thinks, "Fuck up!

Could be mum, because not many people live around here.

I better go and hide in the trees."

And then she does.

And then she sees it.

It's actually...

A male land truck.

So, she pulls out in front of the truck.

If Skid's just near her, if it inches from her, and she's...

She's like, "Can you help me please?

Can you help me?"

It's Postman Pat.

She says, "All right, what's going on?"

And she says, "My mum's trying to hurt me.

You know, I know this is going to be unbelievable.

But look at the state of me.

You know, I've really hurt myself getting out of the house.

Mum's been drugging me and basically keeping me prisoning my whole life."

And he's like, "Oh, all right, look.

I believe you.

Even the van."

And as he starts to wheel around in the distance around the corner, mummies car.

And so he quickly wheels her back right in the front of the car.

So she's out of view.

And she's like, "I think it fit mum's all."

Yeah, he says, "I think she says, "I think she's all me."

She's all me.

This is the point, no.

We know now that she is full on psycho more than the daughter knows at this point.

And even Postman Pat knows.

So we're just there.

And I'm just like, "Is she going to go back?

Get a gun, the mum.

Get a gun.

Just come back and shoot Postman Pat."

Oh, we need that as firemen sound.

Firemen sound.

And tell me if the tank engine.

And then the former.

Tell me if the tank engine.

Oh.

Oh, dear.

Yes.

So he confronts her.

A basement pat has to be called in.

Goes up to Sarah Paulson and says, "Look.

Look, stop.

I'm going to take her to hospital."

She says, "You've heard her.

You've been hurting her."

And she puts on a really good act, mum.

She says, "How dare you?

I'm her mother.

She's had, she's on different drugs, which are really messing with her brain.

How dare you tell me as her mother that I've been hurting her.

And also, what about you, an older man who has found a vulnerable 70-year-old

girl bleeding in the woods?

What would happen to your reputation if I told people about this?"

And at this point, you obviously expect him to go, "Oh, yeah, you're right.

Okay, go to it."

He doesn't.

And he actually just dispends the belief of that and says, "Actually, no, I'm still going to

take it to hospital."

Yeah.

And she says, "Well, I'm going to call the police."

And he goes, "Okay."

"There's no signal."

Oh, yeah.

You know, but we both know there's no signal.

And then he says, "Do you want to follow me there?"

She says, "Yeah."

She says, "Can I at least follow you to hospital?"

He says, "Yeah, of course."

So he puts her in the back, it puts Chloe in the back of the...

She's super happy.

She's like, "What's going to happen?"

I take you to hospital and she's like, "Oh, oh, oh, sorry about that."

She says, "No."

She says, "Can I request exactly to the police station?"

She says, "Pad."

She says, "Don't take me to hospital."

She says, "Taped to the police station."

She says, "Whatever you want, I'll do it."

Whilst they're talking, and he says to her, "Look, in a minute, when I start the truck,

you might get some of these parcels moving around."

And if any, fall off the shelf, I do apologize.

But before we can finish his sentence,

"Mumber Bear is snuck up behind him with a great big diabetic needle

that she stabbed him in their neck with."

"Witty heart, oh."

And he's knocked out or dead or something, isn't he?

Yeah.

And that's the end of that scene.

Now we wake up in Mummers basement.

Mummers special office basement.

It sounds like a video, not a video.

Mummers orifice, office.

No, now we wake up in Mummers basement.

Oh God.

Yes, so Chloe wakes up in the basement.

That's what that woman in Boken was up to, isn't it?

Coming up in my basement.

Everybody was looking at that basement.

She's pridding her own on a Kawasaki.

Yes, so Chloe wakes up in the basement of her house

that we mentioned earlier that we saw mummy drinking big bottles of wine in.

And she realises there's this big office that she didn't really know about.

That her mum has, which is where Mum studies all these chemistries and drugs

and keeps things hidden from her, including videotapes with her Mum's name on them.

She finds the letter of college application that says we successfully allow you to come to our college.

Mum never told her that she got in to the college that she applied for.

A bit too obvious, though.

Yes, of course.

She screams and she goes to go closer to the video player, the VHS player, and realises

she's got a chain around her ankle.

She can only go so far in the room.

She's still a prisoner.

She does want a photo of herself running as a child, which was a bit like, oh, that's a bit of shit.

Yes, so I used to be able to walk.

This is weird.

And all the videotapes have got this, her mum's name on them.

She finds, though, all it all comes out here.

She finds a death certificate with her name on it and thinks what?

Then she finds a newspaper article about a stolen baby.

And now through flashbacks, we find out that Sarah Paulson's baby, that we saw in the opening scene,

did sadly pass away, moments after it was born.

And in a crazy moment, a psychotic episode moment, Sarah Paulson stole a perfectly healthy baby

from another couple in the hospital.

That baby, she then brought up, keeping it drugged.

This is Chloe. She changed its name to Chloe, which is what she called her baby before it died.

And she's been keeping it under Munchausen's by proxy.

All these 17 long years keeping her drugged and disabled so she cannot escape.

And she finds all of this out.

And she actually thinks to herself, am I actually sick? What's going on?

This is where a mum catches her.

And she says, you're not my real mum.

She's like, well, I am, I saved you.

Am I even sick? Have you just been poisoning me?

And she says, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe.

Let's start over and let me get you this needle full of black liquid that I'm going to inject into you.

And everything will be fine once I've injected you with this.

Now, if a woman approaches you, go out for the needle full of black liquid, what are your first thoughts there?

Don't inject me with it.

Keep the black liquid out of me.

Yeah, don't put black liquid in me.

It's just horrible stuff that she's like paint thinner. It's like, oh my god.

Well, luckily Chloe locks herself.

It's just basically kill you.

Chloe luckily locks herself in a cupboard.

And she grabs a bottle of basically her like, well, she starts.

What is she going to do? What can you do in that situation down?

What would you do if you didn't have her?

Well, she's like stuck like she knows she's got to get the hospital there or

or the only way to do that is to endanger herself.

And she says, you need me, mum.

As much as I need you and she dounds in front of her mum, she dounds this bottle of like acid or I don't know what it is.

Whatever it is, it starts eating for her stomach and she's mum's like, what do I do?

I'm going to have to take her hospital now because I don't want her to die.

So she takes her to hospital.

They operate on her. They pump her stomach and she kind of is going to be alright.

But she has a paralyzed.

She's down at her mouth. So she can't speak unfortunately at the moment.

And she can't move her arms.

Although, she was only her legs that are paralyzed, she can barely move her body.

So she's got that kind of sleep paralysis nightmare thing now.

A mum's looking at her through the windows, isn't she?

Looking into her hospital room, just staring at her.

And she needs, she needs to be interviewed to find out what was going on.

Chloe tries to tell the nurse. She says, hmm, hmm.

And the nurse is like, what do you want?

No, I can't let you use a pencil, I'm afraid. I'm not like, because you're a suicide dress.

Oh, I can let you use a crayon.

Let me get a crayon. What are you trying to say?

What are you trying to say here?

So she starts writing a word on the paper with a crayon.

And just as she started writing this word, mum sets off the alarms in the hospital.

And kidnaps her.

Wheels are along. She says, you need me because I'm your mum.

And I'm going to keep looking after you for the rest of your life.

She wheels her through the hospital corridors.

The nurse comes back in the room and says, oh, she rings up.

The patient's gone. Did you take Chloe from the room?

What do you mean you haven't taken her? Well, she's not here.

And then she finds on the on the piece of paper the word mum that she was trying to write down.

So she puts two in two together.

Yeah, she's clever nurse.

But mum's got a gun.

That's the other thing that mum, we didn't realise mum is so crazy.

Now it's got a gun and the police catch up with them.

She pulls the gun and says, you stay away from me.

Stay away from me, baby. They shoot mum.

Yeah, it's quite over.

I didn't know it was going to go this route, actually, because it's been on the house the whole time in the hospital.

It's very quickly goes to a point of like it finishing.

It seems quite, I thought there'd be more to it than just this.

I thought they would have got further away.

Yeah, it seems really nice.

Oh, okay.

But I'm grateful that it doesn't outstarts welcome because we do, I can say, you know, at least it is.

Yeah, and I'm happy and I'm very satisfied.

Satisfied with the ending.

It is seven years later, Chloe is an older woman with her own child, it turns out, and she's a teacher as well.

And she goes to a prison for women.

Okay, I, I before even start doing this, when is she a shot and she's at a bottom of stairs and the people quote her,

the movie finishes there.

This is forced to fuck for no reason.

I like it.

What the hell is she doing?

You probably give it nine out of ten.

No, and I like it.

Just as far.

Rachel likes it because this, this is like really the revenge part of it now.

She's treated Chloe so badly for her whole life.

This is Chloe, Chloe and sadly, like a lot of people who have been chosen by proxy inflicted on them.

She's now not very well herself to the point that she goes to visit her mum once a month or however often it is.

Tells her all about her daughter.

Oh, she asks after her grandmother sometimes.

She talks about the children she's teaching and her mum looks like a corpse because she's still alive.

She's sat there.

And then just as she's about to leave, she says, "Well, I better go.

Let me just spit this out and she spits out some medication and says, "Right, time for you to open wide, mum."

So she's now keeping her mum drugged with whatever poison or whatever this is.

And yes, okay, it's maybe far fetched and maybe unneeded, but it's what elevates this above thriller to a little bit more horror film.

It's got that kind of...

Orphan's cheap vibe to it.

I don't think it is.

No point.

Have her heard just that about daughter at the end.

No way, man.

She needs to suffer a pay for what she's done to Chloe and she does.

And although Chloe is going to be sadly and not very well in the brain because she's now poisoning her mum, I love it.

I love it.

And I like that they did it.

And I don't give this a 9 out of 10, but I do give it an 8 out of 10.

It was really blew me away, actually.

For a film I'd never even heard of for Rachel to suggest it.

And I sat there and watched it and at the end of it I was like, "Fucking hell, that was really good."

And that again in a couple of years time, that might drop down.

It might go down as low as a 6.6 point 4.

But right now, that's a great film and I'll happily watch that again.

Now and now I know the whole plot.

I want to go into it again.

Probably in the next couple of months, and Alice wants to watch it again.

Knowing what we know and seeing it right from the beginning, all the way through and spotting all the ways that mum's manipulating her.

Do you know what I mean? I think it's going to be a good watch the second time I've remained.

But yeah, thumbs up from you. What do you think? Any final thoughts?

No, it's fine. It's a nice sort of story to watch at every point.

I wonder what's going to happen here.

So yeah, I've got no complaints. I thought it was a right film.

I probably won't revisit it. I don't need to. I've seen the story.

I'm not going to gain anything more from it.

Did you watch this with Sarah?

Yeah, we did actually.

Yeah, I should imagine Sarah enjoyed this because I know that she...

I think so.

She was quite passionate about that, that I'm not chosen by proxy episode.

I think it is a bit of a, there's a lot of stories about this out there at the moment that seem to be...

It seems to really tweak people's interests for some reason.

It's actually a fairly popular episode of us.

Yeah, and it's such a thing that just happens in playing sites to people in the real world.

And people don't know about it until...

It only really in the last 20 years, people are really understanding it now.

Well, it's a thumbs up from you. It's definitely a thumbs up from me.

And of course Rachel, let's hear your thoughts now.

So let me find that part of the message. Here it is.

So I picked Run by Anish Jandati and Mum and Dad by Bain Taylor.

Oh, I've already read that bit. Sorry, I do apologize.

Run. Run absolutely blew me away.

Both times that I've watched it.

I think we can all agree that Sarah Paulson is the horror screen queen by now.

Definitely in the fan horror horror whole of fame.

Sorry, I was doing another fact that I was like, "That's the first thing I've ever seen of it!"

I feel bad.

It's the same when...

But I haven't seen a very good horror story. That's where it seems.

Yeah, it happens.

Like what I mentioned, Mick Gareth once.

You're like, "No, Mick Gareth, no one really knows who it is."

And I was like, "What do you mean, Mick Gareth?"

"Several knows who Mick Gareth is. He's directed loads of steam king stuff."

"He's all, and then after all, you're like, "Yeah, I suppose I've just not seen a lot of stuff."

"It's just these people who escape you."

I don't like Mick Gareth.

You're a raider.

You do.

We talked about...

Is that conversation before?

I don't.

Okay.

You do, because we had this conversation before and you're like, "Ah, actually, I do quite a few of these."

I don't.

Okay.

Sarah Paulson is a horror screen queen by now.

Definitely in the fan horror whole of fame.

And she plays her character here so well.

Her daughter Chloe is a wheelchair user in real life.

I thought that was awesome.

She's an amazing girl.

I love the direction.

That was the thing that blew me away, actually, Rach and Gareth.

Some of the scenes this girl had to do, being in a wheelchair herself,

like the scene dragging herself across the roof and all that stuff.

Like, this is a real wheelchair user, she had to do all of this.

It's awesome.

I love the direction.

I love the big swooping close-up when the pharmacist says, "This is dog medication."

I love that.

That was a Hitchcock moment, man.

Yeah, literally about so then.

That was also the push-pull dual shot as well.

It was all of those classics.

Very good stuff.

It's dog medication.

Me and Alice were like, "What?"

Like, audibly said that.

Yeah.

It's just like that is awesome.

Didn't expect that.

The mother standing in the dark, when she turns the internet off,

the very quick start.

I liked this.

It got straight into the suspicion in the mayhem.

Yeah, agreed, Hitch.

You know, it didn't fuck about it.

It was five, ten minutes in and she was already finding out about the tablets and thinking,

"Well, I'm going to minute something weird's going on here."

It was all great.

I also got major misery vibes.

When Sarah was locked in the wheelchair in the bedroom and then she went to the cinema,

that was all very gypsy-race blank charge.

So some nice nod to some fictional and factual horror.

Munchasm's by proxy has always fascinated me.

Obviously, horrific thing, but psychologically fascinating.

So this really did everything I wanted and it's a near-perfect movie for me.

What an ending.

So she liked the ending too.

And then I'll finish off for a message, because when we come back from my little break in a minute,

it'll be our outro.

So she says, "All in all, both of these get a solid 90 odd percent,

maybe even a hundred on Rachel's tomatoes."

I've never heard of this Rachel's tomatoes, gap, have you?

Oh.

Well, well, hope.

Maybe we should catch up.

Maybe we should.

She says, "I hope you guys both enjoyed them as much as I did.

Lots of love to you both."

And then she said to me, "How do that is okay?"

I was like, "Meg, that's brilliant."

I said to Rachel, "You know what I write if you're in just right over the sentence,

but she did a brilliant job, picked two great films.

Very... I've never been connected.

Yeah, and I'll never would have thought the conversation that Mum and Dad brought out of us

all about parenting and mid-life crisis and all that kind of stuff.

And then obviously we've had a chance to chat about "Mentor's" by Proxy.

And we've still thrown in silly things like Postman Pat and Gav Hating,

Soldering Islands and mouthfuls of water and all that kind of stuff.

I've seen your picture on WhatsApp.

You've sent me a picture on WhatsApp.

I dread to think what you sent me and I'm in it.

This is live.

[GIGGLES]

You have sent me a picture of Chloe with a mouthful of water crawling across the roof.

It does look ridiculous, but I embrace the ridiculous, Gav.

So yeah, I'm happy with that.

I loved both of these movies, Rachel.

Thank you for that.

Thank you for being a patron.

Thank you for being a friend.

Thank you for your support.

And you get to keep the crown on till the very end.

So...

Thank you, Rachel, for those suggestions.

Yes, it's nice.

I said, yeah, both different types of films, we probably wouldn't cover them or get them run possibly,

Mung-Dead possibly.

I don't want to be on a list though.

I would have watched Mum and Dad.

I probably would have covered that.

Maybe with a Nicholas Cage, I don't know.

But it's good to do other films.

And that's what the Patreon thinks about.

So thank you, Patrons, for yours.

I'll tell you now, Mum and Dad was on the list.

And it was paired up with the British Mum and Dad.

Oh my god.

It's an awful film.

It's like...

It's a grubby film.

Yeah.

And I thought those two would be good, but it's all good.

We've got to cover it in this way.

We don't need to talk about the grubby Mum and Dad with...

Oh, let's not go into what goes happening in that film.

All right, well, that is all of our reviews.

That is what are the strange scab.

Should we have a little breathing, breathe out, then come back and do the outro?

Yeah, let's go.

We're back again.

We're back again.

So that was a episode 143.

It was a Patreon pic.

It was Rachel.

She was not Queen.

And we really enjoyed talking about Postman Part and Millions of other tangents.

Thank you, every so much.

She never really said Postman Part about her saying...

And it's black and white.

And it's black and white.

And it's black and white.

It just comes with the whole package.

It's like, if you want to be with me, it's what Postman Part says on date.

When he does these tinder dates and he meets up with them.

If you want to be with me, I'll come with a cat.

I thought you were...

See, I thought you were quick in the Spice Girls, then.

If you want to be with me, get a get a get my friend.

Go get with my cat.

I'm a black and white cat.

I think the Spice Girls say, if you want to get with me...

Go get with my friends, maybe.

Go get with my friends.

What does that mean?

Does that mean if you want to get with me?

No, no, no.

Shag all my friends first.

No, I used to think about it.

I actually know words to my Spice Girls songs.

It's really bad.

I hate to get...

No, it's not.

I wrote it in a cafe, a restaurant, and inside the kitchen on a radio.

That shit was just on all the time.

Anyway.

It's about getting with my friends.

You've got to be friends with my friends.

My friends have got a life here.

If you want to be with me, my friends have got...

We've got to be down.

But what does Zig-A-Zig army then, Gav?

Oh, hey, that means a bit of...

Bye!

All I know is the rap is very rude.

We've got mel in the place who likes it in the face.

Oh, you've got really full about it, breaking down.

One of the MCU's and EasyV doesn't come for free.

She's a real lady.

And that's for me.

Well, you'll see.

See?

Something time...

Slant your body down and wind it all around.

There we go, Rach. We've ended up with a sponsor of the Rix.

If you want to be my lover...

Something tells me that Rach would have been into the spy schools back in the '90s.

Making love forever.

What never ends?

No, it's not making love forever.

What is it?

If you want to be my lover, you've got to get with my friends.

Taking this too easy, friendship never ends.

Oh, I changed it.

I want to make love forever.

I just want to be friends forever.

Might be in the friction if you want to make love forever.

It's just going to get...

It's just going to get worn down to a little nub, isn't it?

Nubby, little nubby.

Well, that was episode 143.

I'll be celebrating it.

Patrons, we've celebrated nubbins, postman parts.

Celebrates...

Celebrates nubbins, the star of war, sanctuary.

It's nubbins, the celebration day.

Listen, it's Star Wars sanctuary moon is out there.

This notes, if you haven't already, go watch it.

If you haven't seen it.

Nubbins, it's down.

Watch it again.

Watch...

Watch it, essentially, maybe.

Watch it.

Yeah, do watch it.

Or share it with someone you know who likes Star Wars.

Just say, do you like this?

Or someone who likes horror.

It's probably not suitable for under six or under seven or eight.

And also, weirdly, lot of Star Wars fans aren't...

enjoying it as much as the horror fans in that...

There's a lot of Star Wars fans have been turned off by some of the gore in it,

which is fine, because in Star Wars you don't really get too much gore.

So I understand that angle.

So it's really somewhere in the middle there for some...

Star Wars fans that are horror and vice versa.

It's a weird one, because we've basically mixed together Star Wars and horror.

Basically, I made a horror movie and I just put...

The characters happen to have costumes on which first-order troopers.

But I've made a horror movie first.

So I'm always.

So it's a weird one.

So I think people just want to figure it out at the moment.

But I'm hoping it catches up and goes on a big wave.

I was missold as well, because when the project was coming together,

I just kept hearing, we're going to go and film lots of helmets in the woods.

And I thought, this is going to be great.

Yeah, it's not that, maybe.

It wasn't that.

It wasn't that kind of movie.

But there we go.

Well, that was episode 143, Gav.

What is coming up next?

I can hear you asking.

By the way, Rachel, I need to sit that crying back off your head.

Thank you so much for being a great queen for the episode.

Now, next episode is episode 144.

And we're going to New York in the early 80s.

Oh, God.

Cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller.

Shut.

I'll be interested to see the ending for the first time.

And basket case.

Oh, I haven't seen that for a long time.

Early 80s.

Yes, case.

Have you been dirty in the 80s New York?

I watched a movie the other day called Brain Damage,

which I haven't seen for a long time.

And there's a crossover in there where basket cases in it for a split second.

Really?

I think it's same director.

That's why.

So that's 144, a churred and basket case.

Then we'll be heading into December because we'll be kicking December off with Twilight Zone in Katzai.

Yeah.

A couple of anthology movies.

Yeah.

We'll have lots to talk about with Twilight Zone in the movie because there was some tragedies in real life or in that.

And then, Gavin, it'll be our Christmas special.

Also our 10 year anniversary episode.

I know.

I'll be starting to get comments and messages from people soon.

I'll be putting that out.

Don't worry.

And then he voice clips if anybody wants to send their voice things.

So hello to us and happy 10 years podcast.

Isn't that lovely?

And for that episode, we'll be having a fairly relaxed one.

We'll be celebrating 10 years of podcasting, but it will be Christmas as always.

So we will be, we've decided it's not horror.

No, it's not horror. I can't even like there are some elements in it which are weird, but it's not horror.

We're going to be covering National Lampoon's Christmas vacation because if we can't talk about that on our 10 year Christmas annual episode anniversary thing, then when can we?

I know.

It's, yeah.

I know that I don't even really need to do notes, to be honest.

Yeah.

I literally should we should we just.

We could do it though.

Freestyle it.

I will make notes because with a review as I, there will be a few things I like.

I always write things I like.

I might freestyle it because I know that film very, very, very well.

I have good memories of watching that film with my family, but also with you.

Yeah.

I've watched every box in day for probably 25 years.

So I've seen it then probably about 25 times.

So I've easily seen it 20, 20 or so times 100%.

Yeah.

So I'm first in that film.

Yeah, for sure.

Well, that's the next three episodes and then we'll be heading into 20, 24.

And I've programmed a schedule for 2024.

Not going to tell anybody what it is now, but I will say that where there isn't a patron episode or a birthday special.

That year to celebrate our 10th year of podcasting, we will be mainly doing director specials.

So whenever there isn't a patron special or there isn't a birthday, we will be doing either a patron or a special or a franchise.

Yeah, or a franchise.

There's a couple of franchises we'll be finishing up next year.

And there's a lot of directors that we're going to be looking at.

Parings of their work as well directors.

We haven't touched on some we already have as well.

John Carpenter.

I'm looking here will be coming back for another John Carpenter special.

Well, that's it, Gav.

That's it from me.

Yeah.

So I'll get some admin done and then we'll say a goodbyes.

All right.

Alvedesign.

Alvedesign.

Don't know why I said it is such an offensive German accent.

I was really channeling sort of Indiana Jones baddies then when I did that.

I'm so sorry to our Germanness.

Could have just said Alvedesign, which is the normal way to me.

Well, you've been listening to the podcast on haunted hill.

We're a proud member of Legion podcast network.

You can find out more about Legion podcast network.

If you go to Legionpodcasts.com

There's lots and lots of shows that might tickle your fancy there.

I've mentioned some of them in the intro, such as cinema siops or Ricky's

Ricky Morgan's Doctor movie MD or the other 25 shows that Ricky does.

Also, I've been on a show that those two guys collaborate on called Mental Rental's.

I've been on that show.

I'm here reviewed an Olivia Newton John film called Zanadoo.

Fuck is that?

It's great.

That's what I'm going to say.

Really?

Zanadoo.

Zanadoo.

Zanadoo.

Thanks.

Thanks for you guys for having me on for that.

I don't.

I don't.

I do.

I think we use that joke when we talked about the film.

We are available for more information.

You put me off without me.

If you want to find out more about us or you want to join in with the banter, go to the

Facebook page.

The podcast on haunted hill.

We did have some porn spam happening for about two weeks in a row.

But through my efforts, I seem to have stopped that now.

I know that the Legion main page, which again, the Legion podcast main page is on also on

Facebook.

That was now getting spammed by porn.

But the court siops is single handedly defeated all of the images of women's

bits and men's bits.

I've been reporting it.

He's been deleting it.

We've managed to between us.

So what are they coming from?

Bots.

Bots.

But how are they getting to us?

So what I've done is I've turned the Facebook page.

Our Facebook page was a public page.

I've now turned it into a private page so that you can only join us if you ask to join.

And if we get any more porn spam, I will be adding three questions which any new members

have to answer to join us to find out if they're real humans who like horror films and

podcasting.

Anyway, enough about porn spam.

Yes, we're on Facebook.

So is Legion.

And we have an email address which is: the podcast on haunted hill at outlook.com.

You can email us there, ask us questions, ask make suggestions.

Tell us what we're doing right, what we're doing wrong, or just tell us to fuck off.

It's really up to you.

So whatever you're listening to us now is where you can continue to listen to us.

Place likes to modify YouTube, pod knife, Apple and many, many other places we are available to get in your ear holes.

We're also on Instagram, which is mainly where I promote with a nice little collage after each episode.

The podcast on haunted ill Insta.

We've talked about sanctuary moon.

We think that is through our company, Deadbolt Films.

We have a website, DeadboltFilms.com.

We have a YouTube channel, Deadbolt Films.

We are on Instagram under Deadbolt Films.

Please go watch other things that we've done.

Tell us what you think of sanctuary moon.

Tell us what you think of anything we've done.

What you want to see.

What you don't want to see.

Whether the music was too loud.

Or whether the stormtroopers were just too sexy.

Whatever it is, tell us.

And finally, Patreon.

Patreon Patreon Patreon.

Thank you, Patreon supporters so much.

I've always massively, massively, massively appreciated.

If you want to become a patron, even if we didn't have patrons as Gav always says, we would continue to do this podcast.

But the fact that we have a few people supporting us in a monetary position.

It just makes us, makes it always feel so much nicer.

It's like, oh, of course, it's like a, it's like a, I don't know.

It makes it special for us.

It just takes the pressure off as well.

It means that we have a little bit of funding for equipment, for renting or buying more obscure films.

And we really appreciate you guys so much.

To become a patron, go to Patreon and search the podcast on Untitle Hill.

You can, if you can't do that, or you can't find that message mail, you're on Facebook.

Or again, the podcast on Haunted Hill at outlook.com

I will direct you to our patron page.

And as little as a pound or a dollar a month, you can become a patron.

And if you become a patron, you get a free t-shirt in one of three colors in your size.

We will ship that to you wherever in the galaxy you live.

Definitely, definitely.

At some point you will get it.

I know Don Koyer took about 75 years to get here.

Sorry about that, Don.

You will also get your chance to pick a patron episode.

So every three episodes, we drop on all schedule and it is picked by a patron.

We are coming to, will we come to the end of our first run of patronage now?

So our next patron will be going back to Matthew Godly, who started, who came up with this whole shenanigans.

So in January, we will be looking at two films that he's already excitedly picked out for us, which is good stuff.

And not only that, but you also get access to episodes early, you get bonus episodes.

And we're unleashing every Friday, free, you Friday, an old episode of the podcast on On Today.

It all gets released to our patrons.

So you'll have every episode, few video episodes as well.

A few other bits of bobs.

So a few bits of bonus content as well.

And the video stuff is stuff you've not seen before.

And it's made like going through like different films in my collection and just like just talking about them

and talking about artwork and stuff and just things like that.

It's just stuff which you won't see unless you're a patron.

And there's some random videos of voice audio of me doing a retrospective of the entire three seasons between peaks,

Buffy the Bamper Slayer and a few other things as well.

I need to get back on that a bit more and I'm a children or a bit older.

I'm starting to have a little bit more of a freer time occasionally.

Well just do what horror, do a list of what horror is good for children and do your age of your children at the time.

And just as they go, just do that.

Not a good one.

Yeah.

What's good for two-year-olds?

Yeah.

The thing, aliens.

Also, the funny thing that patrons get is their name read out in a city voice at the end of every episode.

So I'm about to thank all of our patrons.

That's the fact that you've adopted this for you to do every time now.

You get a t-shirt, you get a picture episodes, you get a bonus content grab, you get all the back catalog and then you get a silly voice.

What more can a man want or a woman want in life?

So as always, thank you to our patrons and those patrons are...

Don Quier.

Thank you.

Matthew Godley.

Thank you.

Oh, Jim, Jenkins.

Thank you.

Kevin has five.

Oh, I apologize from down here, thank you.

Sarah Kaye.

Thank you.

Rachel.

Cool, thank you.

Sorry, that's my Irish accent.

I know, that's not difficult.

Oh, Jay McCraedy.

Thank you.

And, lalalalalalax, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

Thank you very much.

Thanks guys, we love you all very, very much.

We did.

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful episode.

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

Wonderful episode.

I always have a blast, especially these patron episodes, because movies that we would never have picked, it's great.

Yeah, absolutely.

And you guys write some of the content for me, because I just have to read out your message.

I've given away my secrets.

Um, Gav, it's a good night from Poceman Park.

A good night from his black and white cat.

Oh, it's a good night from Dan, crawling on Gav's roof with a mouth full of water and a sold in iron.

Daisy changed all the way back to the other room.

Slowly, slowly, slowly.

Just as I get there, I fucking swallowed it.

I've got to go back and do it all over again.

It's a good night from Manage, it's just been slapped by women.

Women being singed.

Wow.

And it's a good night from Nicholas Cage smashing up his pool table, because he goes, "You can't have titties in my face! I can't use them!"

I'm angry about the non-titty Jordan, don't I?

Oh, chill out, Nicholas Cage.

Chill out.

Everybody stay safe in the world.

Do what your store will sent you, man.

And, um, love each other.

And if you can't love each other, then love your black and white cats.

If you can't love each other, love yourself.

Really love yourself.

And if you can't love yourself, get someone else to do it while you punch a blind man into face.

Exactly.

That's special love.

Right, enjoy your special love.

Good night everybody.

Thank you for listening to the podcast on Horned Hilton.

We will be back again real soon.

[Music]

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