EPISODE 146 – NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION
Speaker 1: The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain
Speaker 1: spoilers and swearing.
Speaker 2: I am the devil and I am here to do the
Speaker 2: devil's work.
Speaker 2: I sell this vicon.
Speaker 2: Be one of us.
Speaker 2: I didn't tell you my name, hang up.
Speaker 2: I didn't tell you my name.
Speaker 2: They're all apart.
Speaker 2: They're all apart.
Speaker 2: Come it is time to keep your appointment.
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the podcast on Haunted
Speaker 1: Hill 140.
Speaker 1: 66 is Happy Christmas, merry Christmas.
Speaker 1: My name is Gav.
Speaker 1: I'm Dan to Clause.
Speaker 1: Dan to Clause, indeed, gavi Christmas.
Speaker 3: I like that.
Speaker 3: Gavi Christmas Sounds like a children's TV
Speaker 3: presenter.
Speaker 1: Hope everybody's having a good time and is
Speaker 1: happy and festive and pleasant.
Speaker 1: And if you don't celebrate Christmas,
Speaker 1: you're just doing what?
Speaker 1: If you do and you're happy though, or if
Speaker 1: you don't like being happy, you're sad in
Speaker 1: what you do, I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1: I suppose, if you don't like to be happy
Speaker 1: and you're always annoyed and sad, but that
Speaker 1: makes you happy, surely that's you being
Speaker 1: happy.
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm stuck for that now.
Speaker 1: I'm confused.
Speaker 3: One of my best friends is only ever happy
Speaker 3: when he's got something to moan about, and
Speaker 3: I'm not talking about you.
Speaker 1: I know who you're talking about as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, rob.
Speaker 3: So some people are happy, but listen what
Speaker 3: Gav's trying to say is, but that is him
Speaker 3: happy even though Greg Orn never happy.
Speaker 1: But you're happy, not being happy, he's not
Speaker 1: happy actually.
Speaker 3: If he hasn't got a list of things to moan
Speaker 3: about, he's not happy, he doesn't know what
Speaker 3: to do with himself.
Speaker 3: But I think, gav, what you're trying to say
Speaker 3: to our lovely listeners is happy holidays,
Speaker 3: happy festivities, even if you don't
Speaker 3: celebrate it.
Speaker 3: You might just get a half a day or a day to
Speaker 3: put your feet up, whatever it is.
Speaker 3: Relax, enjoy yourselves and enjoy this
Speaker 3: festive time.
Speaker 3: This is a very, very, very, very, very
Speaker 3: Double celebration Special episode double
Speaker 3: rainbow.
Speaker 3: This is a double celebration because this
Speaker 3: is our annual Christmas special.
Speaker 3: But the other reason this is another
Speaker 3: special episode is not only is it our
Speaker 3: annual Christmas special, it's our 10th
Speaker 3: annual Christmas special, which means that
Speaker 3: this is our 10th year anniversary episode,
Speaker 3: ten years of podcasting.
Speaker 3: It's crazy, isn't it?
Speaker 3: So may I be the first, first of all, to
Speaker 3: wish you a Merry Christmas, gavin, and a
Speaker 3: Happy New Year if I don't speak to you
Speaker 3: before then, and on top of that happy
Speaker 3: fucking anniversary, my friend, I know 10
Speaker 3: years.
Speaker 3: Bit weird, isn't it?
Speaker 3: 10 years, that's longer than a lot of
Speaker 3: people have had jobs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I absolutely adore podcasting.
Speaker 1: I loved doing it.
Speaker 1: I was doing it last night with my lovely
Speaker 1: lady a new episode of HighStrokesPodcom,
Speaker 1: which we did Christmas murder.
Speaker 1: So if you don't like happiness, you want a
Speaker 1: bit of death at Christmas, you can pop over
Speaker 1: there and listen to that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love podcasting.
Speaker 1: I love podcasting with you.
Speaker 1: I love talking about horror movies.
Speaker 1: If we didn't podcast, I'd still be talking
Speaker 1: to you about horror movies, just with a
Speaker 1: microphone there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, exactly that, and we will
Speaker 3: get going to get into all of that today.
Speaker 3: So let's run through what this episode is
Speaker 3: about.
Speaker 3: Obviously, it's our festive episode, so
Speaker 3: we're going to be getting very festive in
Speaker 3: Christmasy.
Speaker 3: We're going to start off by talking about
Speaker 3: Christmas, what we like to do, tradition,
Speaker 3: what we've been doing, what films we've
Speaker 3: been watching.
Speaker 3: Our main review, which you already know
Speaker 3: because you clicked on this, is we're only
Speaker 3: doing one film because we've got lots of
Speaker 3: other stuff to talk about, but our main
Speaker 3: review is going to be National Lampoon's
Speaker 3: Christmas Vacation from 1989, because, even
Speaker 3: though it's not a horror film, it's got
Speaker 3: some pretty gnarly elements to it.
Speaker 3: I think you know the whole obstacles of
Speaker 3: family at Christmas, and the lighter side
Speaker 3: of it perhaps, but also the darker side of
Speaker 3: it.
Speaker 3: So that's going to be a very fun one.
Speaker 1: It's got a.
Speaker 1: It's quite an outlander sort of cult
Speaker 1: hemisphere I'd say really.
Speaker 1: I know it's not genre, but it is.
Speaker 1: It's there with a massive fan base of you
Speaker 1: know it's John Hughes as well.
Speaker 1: It's not a straight average Christmas movie.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit off the side there.
Speaker 1: And it's just enjoyable fun, so we thought
Speaker 1: fuck it.
Speaker 3: Well, it's both a part, you know, in our
Speaker 3: top five Christmas films of all time.
Speaker 3: We really love it and what fun to talk
Speaker 3: about.
Speaker 3: So we're going to be doing that and we're
Speaker 3: also going to be taking a trip down memory
Speaker 3: lane where we're going to talk about the
Speaker 3: last 10 years of podcasting, what that
Speaker 3: means to us, what how our lives have
Speaker 3: changed in those 10 years, what we've been
Speaker 3: the favorite memories, films, franchises
Speaker 3: and just really just shoot this shit really
Speaker 3: and pretend that you know we're in the same
Speaker 3: room with a glass of whiskey not that
Speaker 3: either of us drink Incredible An open fire.
Speaker 1: How many years ago was that memory podcast
Speaker 1: in front of an open fire?
Speaker 1: Richard's Get.
Speaker 3: Truck.
Speaker 1: I've actually heard of some of our
Speaker 1: listeners and thank you, listeners, for
Speaker 1: being listeners all this time and listening
Speaker 1: to us.
Speaker 1: I'll say listen a few more times, Listen,
Speaker 1: listen.
Speaker 1: I remember one of our listeners possibly
Speaker 1: saying to us at one point our older
Speaker 1: episodes of audio quality not as good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we kind of I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on with that,
Speaker 1: because it's not like I've got better,
Speaker 1: because it's in 10 years I'm still doing I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, I think we have got better.
Speaker 3: I think we've been doing it long enough
Speaker 3: that we can record.
Speaker 3: We don't really edit much.
Speaker 3: You know, the odd time we might take
Speaker 3: something out or add something in or
Speaker 3: something might distract one of us and we
Speaker 3: have to like quickly stop recording for
Speaker 3: whatever reason.
Speaker 3: But we can do this.
Speaker 3: You know, we set aside an evening for
Speaker 3: anyone that doesn't know and we just sit
Speaker 3: down and we record.
Speaker 3: Then we take breaks, you know, as the
Speaker 3: breaks you hear throughout the episode.
Speaker 1: But we could do like a YouTube video behind
Speaker 1: the scenes.
Speaker 3: This is how we make a podcast.
Speaker 3: Everybody knows.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think there was an episode
Speaker 1: where you and I sat river fire so you'd
Speaker 1: have heard the fireplace crackling away and
Speaker 1: us.
Speaker 1: But we would have been sharing because just
Speaker 1: amateur, because like the same device I
Speaker 1: record our show on if I got to tell you
Speaker 1: what it is Zoom H4N, which I use for all
Speaker 1: our filmmaking as well this is the best.
Speaker 1: I love this device 200 quid.
Speaker 1: I bought it 12 years ago.
Speaker 1: It's fucking amazing.
Speaker 1: You can get it super cheap now and I'm
Speaker 1: really good.
Speaker 1: If you want to start podcasting, just give
Speaker 1: you that and make a model.
Speaker 1: It's pretty hardy as well.
Speaker 3: But we you know it's dirty.
Speaker 1: But with Sarah, for example, I have a mic
Speaker 1: going, an extra mic going direct into it,
Speaker 1: as well as a mic I've got on it going into
Speaker 1: it, so we could both talk.
Speaker 1: But when me and you used to do it, it would
Speaker 1: have been just that mic in the middle of
Speaker 1: the room and it's not like we were nose to
Speaker 1: nose.
Speaker 1: So we'd be like, hey, how are you doing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not bad, but we did sit very
Speaker 3: close to each other on the sofa to try to
Speaker 3: make the same biscuit as we did.
Speaker 3: It's terrible.
Speaker 1: So those episodes would just be kind of
Speaker 1: like whack documentary style audio of just
Speaker 1: one mic in a room somewhere.
Speaker 1: If someone's talking you can't really hear
Speaker 1: them.
Speaker 3: But I think it's safe to say podcasting has
Speaker 3: come along way for everybody, for the whole
Speaker 3: world, in 10 years, because I think when we
Speaker 3: started out it was still relatively new.
Speaker 3: You know it was probably been going for a
Speaker 3: year or two but people were still finding
Speaker 3: their feet there and you know one was like
Speaker 3: there was no Joe Rogan's or that kind of
Speaker 3: thing.
Speaker 3: You know people weren't getting paid off of
Speaker 3: it Not that we're getting paid off of it.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure when Joe Rogan did start
Speaker 1: actually he probably was around 10 years I
Speaker 1: thought yeah Well, you got to think the
Speaker 1: advent of the smartphone was not till 2010
Speaker 1: with Apple's first iPhone.
Speaker 1: And that would have been a lot easier for
Speaker 1: people to listen to podcasts on the go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, that's the other thing.
Speaker 3: It's not just about the recording.
Speaker 3: It is, then, about people being able to how
Speaker 3: they listen, if they're not just a home
Speaker 3: based on a computer or in the office, which
Speaker 3: people would do as well.
Speaker 1: I'm going to check out the stats for Sarah
Speaker 1: and I's show, the High Strangers podcast.
Speaker 1: I could see what devices listen.
Speaker 1: It's crazy.
Speaker 1: So I can see if it's a desktop or whatever,
Speaker 1: and most of the time Gav can see you.
Speaker 1: I can see what you're doing Most of the
Speaker 1: time, it's Apple iTunes on, I think,
Speaker 1: smartphones Most of the time and you can
Speaker 1: sort of see what it is.
Speaker 1: But yeah, back in the day, not so many
Speaker 1: people did it, so that's what we're doing.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 3: It's Christmas time, so let's start things
Speaker 3: off festively.
Speaker 3: I've got some mince pies in the kitchen
Speaker 3: which I'll be eating periodically on our
Speaker 3: breaks.
Speaker 1: I fucking loved.
Speaker 1: Yesterday I made a bubble and squeak out of
Speaker 1: leftovers.
Speaker 3: Can you explain to anyone not from the UK
Speaker 3: what bubble and squeak is?
Speaker 3: It's a very British meal.
Speaker 1: The bubble and squeak is basically what
Speaker 1: happens when you do the cooking.
Speaker 1: You get your leftovers from a traditional
Speaker 1: roast dinner, so you know your turkey, your
Speaker 1: potato, your vegetables, any other little
Speaker 1: bits, and you have to have pretty much 50%
Speaker 1: potato to whatever else you have, because
Speaker 1: potato is the form that sticks it all
Speaker 1: together.
Speaker 1: And you get a frying pan, you put some oil
Speaker 1: in it and a knob of butter and put all your
Speaker 1: leftovers in.
Speaker 1: I actually diced mine up a bit, so it's
Speaker 1: super fine, that's mine, we've done it and
Speaker 1: then you put it in a pan for about 15, 20
Speaker 1: minutes with a masher.
Speaker 1: You kind of just mash it.
Speaker 1: This is like the cooking podcast we're
Speaker 1: doing.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the kitchen on Lunted Hill and
Speaker 1: you mash it together and eventually it
Speaker 1: forms together like a big patty and then
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 1: But it's the flavours of every bit of the
Speaker 1: roast dinner in every bite.
Speaker 1: All combined it's gorgeous.
Speaker 1: You could do it any food, you could do it
Speaker 1: with any leftovers, you could do bubble and
Speaker 1: squeak, and it's called that because it
Speaker 1: squeaks and it bubbles as you cook it.
Speaker 1: Yep, not sponge bubbles Only if you've
Speaker 1: really got liquid going on.
Speaker 3: When I was a kid, my mum had two budgies
Speaker 3: called bubble and squeak.
Speaker 3: So there we go.
Speaker 3: That's a little, but yeah.
Speaker 1: I put mine in my parents' and I said to my
Speaker 1: dad we have good Christmas, girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I was like yeah, yeah, dad, no ice, yeah.
Speaker 1: I said to her well, my bubble and squeak,
Speaker 1: it's the best thing, it is Better than
Speaker 1: Christmas dinner.
Speaker 1: That is the bubble and squeak.
Speaker 1: And she said I think I'll move you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh Well, I've got some mince pies to snack
Speaker 3: on and I think very quickly because I was
Speaker 3: rolling with my parents.
Speaker 1: But my parents say, yeah, air fryer for
Speaker 1: Christmas.
Speaker 1: My dad was a chef in the Navy.
Speaker 1: He's old now.
Speaker 1: He's not bothered about being here.
Speaker 1: He'd be happy where he's dead.
Speaker 1: He's the way he is now.
Speaker 1: He don't want to go anywhere, stays in the
Speaker 1: house, don't want to speak to anyone.
Speaker 1: Fuck off everybody, that sort of thing.
Speaker 1: That's how he is.
Speaker 1: So I've got him an air fryer.
Speaker 1: Did he want it?
Speaker 1: Fuck did he.
Speaker 1: No way, does he want an air fryer?
Speaker 1: Tell my mum.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not using it.
Speaker 1: Could change it's different.
Speaker 3: I was like it makes your life easy.
Speaker 3: My dad was the same.
Speaker 3: I bought him a CD player 15 years ago.
Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: A couple of days ago Dad got your CD player
Speaker 1: trade he said.
Speaker 3: And then mum looked at me and said they
Speaker 3: said we're not going to use it.
Speaker 3: And then within about five years they had a
Speaker 3: library of hundreds of CDs.
Speaker 3: Same thing happened.
Speaker 3: I bought him a DVD player.
Speaker 3: And probably five years after DVDs were a
Speaker 3: thing.
Speaker 1: This is exactly what I told you You've got
Speaker 1: to get him a dog, and every dog he says
Speaker 1: fuck off.
Speaker 1: You love a dog.
Speaker 1: If you had one.
Speaker 3: Well, my dad's got a blue ray player.
Speaker 3: Now You're the best planning buggy ever,
Speaker 3: but yeah you know he's all over it, but
Speaker 3: I've got some strawberry milk.
Speaker 3: I'm really into chocolate and strawberry
Speaker 3: milk this year, so I've been buying cartons
Speaker 3: of that.
Speaker 3: I had a carton of eggnog as well, which is
Speaker 3: nice.
Speaker 1: Because I don't drink anymore.
Speaker 1: I haven't drank for four and a half years,
Speaker 1: but when I used to have mice by about some
Speaker 1: sprites, I ended up getting addicted to
Speaker 1: chocolate milk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, chocolate milk, strawberry milk, I've
Speaker 3: been buying those, I know why.
Speaker 3: But it's very festive as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and my in-laws bought me a huge tray
Speaker 3: of really high quality cocaine.
Speaker 1: No, Was it good?
Speaker 3: Really high quality gingerbread.
Speaker 3: And, my God, I am fucking addicted to this
Speaker 3: stuff, to the point that my wife gave me a
Speaker 3: kiss good night last night.
Speaker 3: I was staying up late watching Santa's
Speaker 3: sleigh and I sat there with my glass of
Speaker 3: strawberry milk and she gave me a kiss and
Speaker 3: she went right, you need to stop eating
Speaker 3: this gingerbread.
Speaker 3: And I said what she went?
Speaker 3: You stink of gingerbread.
Speaker 3: I can smell it on your breath.
Speaker 3: You've got a crumb of it in your beard.
Speaker 3: You keep going in the kitchen and I know
Speaker 3: what you're doing.
Speaker 3: You keep going in there.
Speaker 3: How much is left in the box?
Speaker 3: And I say I don't know.
Speaker 3: I've left some for the kids.
Speaker 3: You're giving me boobs in gingerbread.
Speaker 3: I love gingerbread man Of everything.
Speaker 3: Gingerbread man, gingerbread Dan,
Speaker 3: gingerbread Dan can't catch me.
Speaker 3: I'm the gingerbread Dan.
Speaker 3: But we won't be eating whilst we record.
Speaker 3: We'll do all our eating in the brains.
Speaker 1: No, I've been told off.
Speaker 3: Don't gobble your nuts while we're
Speaker 3: recording.
Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to do munching while we're
Speaker 1: recording.
Speaker 3: If anyone's going to gobble your nuts,
Speaker 3: it'll be me, all right, hello.
Speaker 1: So I could have 100 moles between this, but
Speaker 1: all right, no.
Speaker 3: You've got long balls, so it's fine.
Speaker 1: I do, I have, but no, why am I telling you
Speaker 1: that?
Speaker 3: I love the honesty.
Speaker 3: This is the many years of friendship and
Speaker 3: ten years of podcasting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I'm happy, though it's not
Speaker 1: like this is going out to the world, so
Speaker 1: it's fine.
Speaker 1: You completely fucking frame me, all right,
Speaker 1: you frame me, fuck it.
Speaker 3: Well, look, let's start talking about what
Speaker 3: we've been watching, what we like to watch.
Speaker 3: Let's start off with anything we've watched
Speaker 3: recently.
Speaker 3: That's quite new.
Speaker 3: I know you're very excited to talk to me
Speaker 3: about a film called Hands of Steel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not new to me, though it's not
Speaker 1: new to me.
Speaker 1: I know, I know but I still want to hear
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 1: Oh man, Hands of Steel, I might tell you
Speaker 1: what.
Speaker 1: Let me just pull it up for a second.
Speaker 1: What about the?
Speaker 3: synopsis Well yeah.
Speaker 1: Basically Hands of Steel.
Speaker 1: Last night I said, sarah, I managed to get
Speaker 1: to see Sarah this Christmas.
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was going to and I managed
Speaker 1: to get to see her and it was our last night
Speaker 1: together, I mean you know you don't see
Speaker 1: each other that much.
Speaker 1: So, like, what are we going to watch?
Speaker 1: It has to be something like it's really
Speaker 1: frustrating.
Speaker 1: You get to say go, that's a fucking waste
Speaker 1: of two hours.
Speaker 1: We could just say a chat or something.
Speaker 1: You know, and I found this movie on Amazon
Speaker 1: Prime from oh, it's 1986.
Speaker 1: It's not like I'm doing a review, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to do the synopsis.
Speaker 3: Please do, because you've been banging on
Speaker 3: about this so I want to hear.
Speaker 1: Oh, I told you about it.
Speaker 1: I had some friends come over earlier and I
Speaker 1: was chatting to them about it.
Speaker 1: Oh no, a cyborg is programmed to kill a
Speaker 1: scientist who holds the fate of mankind in
Speaker 1: his hands.
Speaker 3: Like all over this straight away.
Speaker 1: A cyborg is programmed to kill a scientist,
Speaker 1: who holds the fate of it?
Speaker 1: And the scientist in question is John Saxon.
Speaker 1: Fuck me, he fails in an Italian film.
Speaker 1: He fails and hides in a diner what he fails
Speaker 1: and hides in a diner run by a woman who
Speaker 1: likes him.
Speaker 1: She wants him dick.
Speaker 1: The people who sent him here sent him what
Speaker 1: Sent him after him, so it's the local arm
Speaker 1: wrestling champ.
Speaker 1: That is really bad.
Speaker 3: What the local arm wrestling champ.
Speaker 1: Right, this dude escapes from John Saxon
Speaker 1: and he's basically massive.
Speaker 1: He's kind of your Swatchenegotype, but he's
Speaker 1: kind of charismatic as well in a sort of
Speaker 1: way.
Speaker 1: It's a bit I don't know kind of.
Speaker 1: He wasn't just like completely brain dead,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: That's what you kind of possibly thought.
Speaker 1: He escapes and he manages to get to this
Speaker 1: bar out of diner and it happens to be a
Speaker 1: load of rough guys in there, sort of mobike
Speaker 1: gang type of that.
Speaker 1: But this woman's like I need some work done,
Speaker 1: can you help me out for bed and board?
Speaker 1: And he's like yeah, no, no, no, no problem,
Speaker 1: trouble is there.
Speaker 1: They're all like there's a guy there who is
Speaker 1: called he is basically arm wrestling
Speaker 1: champion of the town Amazing.
Speaker 1: Bronco, I think he's called or something
Speaker 1: like that, or Blanco or something like that,
Speaker 1: and he's pitchers up on the wall as well.
Speaker 1: But you've got all these other guys there
Speaker 1: and they're basically just like all having
Speaker 1: arm wrestling competitions.
Speaker 1: Then he's there and there's this bit where
Speaker 1: he gets a bit of toyed up the bad guys.
Speaker 1: There's one particular guy he doesn't get
Speaker 1: along with.
Speaker 1: He gets the waitress when she sends him out
Speaker 1: to go get some beer for him out the back
Speaker 1: and come back for some toilet paper to take
Speaker 1: over to him.
Speaker 1: He reads it and it says you'll need this to
Speaker 1: wipe your arse from the ship after you shit
Speaker 1: yourself.
Speaker 1: For me, beating you armwrestling, it's
Speaker 1: really bad.
Speaker 1: It's a great movie, by the way.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've just looked at the poster and
Speaker 3: it looks fantastic from the poster.
Speaker 1: The poster was what in the video shot back
Speaker 1: in the day that was that movie would have
Speaker 1: got it and I'd been happy.
Speaker 1: I was over the moon with this film, like
Speaker 1: I'm telling you now.
Speaker 1: So he looks down.
Speaker 3: It sounds like the Terminator meets over
Speaker 3: the top, but done with John Saxon and
Speaker 3: Italian.
Speaker 1: Yeah, with big laser guns as well.
Speaker 1: That's another boy.
Speaker 3: Oh, come on.
Speaker 1: And he looks down and he starts writing
Speaker 1: something called the kitchen worktop, snaps
Speaker 1: it off and throws it on the table at them
Speaker 1: because they gave it, and it just says
Speaker 1: you're on, that's it.
Speaker 1: That's a bit of a waste.
Speaker 1: So, anyway, he beats the guy and all this
Speaker 1: sort of stuff.
Speaker 1: And then there's other stuff, though.
Speaker 1: You've got John Saxon and his guys and the
Speaker 1: FBI after them after him, because he's out
Speaker 1: of control.
Speaker 1: But there's a segue to our last episode.
Speaker 1: In this, one of the main actors, claudio
Speaker 1: Cassenni, and an aircraft, a helicopter
Speaker 1: pilot, crashed and died in the making of
Speaker 1: this.
Speaker 1: Oh, wow, interesting John Saxon because of
Speaker 1: SAG, that's, the Screen Actors Guild,
Speaker 1: because he I think it's Green, because he
Speaker 1: was going to keep into their roles.
Speaker 1: He said I won't shoot anything in America,
Speaker 1: I'll just do all my shots in Italy.
Speaker 1: And the helicopter crashed into America and
Speaker 1: he would have been in the helicopter.
Speaker 3: Bloody hell.
Speaker 1: So John Saxon were a daughter in the 80s.
Speaker 3: Thank God he didn't.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I really enjoyed this film.
Speaker 3: Well, I've just added it to my watch list.
Speaker 3: It's on Prime for free to watch if you've
Speaker 3: got Prime.
Speaker 3: So, hands of steel.
Speaker 3: Everybody watches it.
Speaker 1: Just get on that shit honestly, it's so
Speaker 1: good.
Speaker 3: I love it when you come across or I come
Speaker 3: across one of these, oh Hands of Prime is a
Speaker 3: beauty for that, like when I recommended
Speaker 3: that Island of Death to you.
Speaker 1: It's just a film that I yeah, we watched it,
Speaker 1: and Sarah says we should cover it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we should.
Speaker 3: It would be a fun discussion.
Speaker 1: That's the thing, though, because sometimes
Speaker 1: certain movies visually might not be good,
Speaker 1: but audibly, doing a podcast reviews, it
Speaker 1: comes across so much better.
Speaker 1: But anyway, hands of Steel for 1986 is 1800,
Speaker 1: hour and 30 minutes.
Speaker 1: Just fucking get on that, get on it.
Speaker 3: Well, I discovered a hidden gem myself from
Speaker 3: the 80s, which a lot of people will already
Speaker 3: know about, but I believe it's a German or
Speaker 3: French film.
Speaker 3: It's called Deadly Games from 1989.
Speaker 3: And basically it's like Home Alone.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know of it, yeah.
Speaker 3: But Home Alone meets.
Speaker 3: It's Halloween, I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they're a bit gutted.
Speaker 1: It's because it wasn't American.
Speaker 3: If it'd been American, it might have been
Speaker 3: possibly picked up before they actually
Speaker 3: tried to sue John Hughes, but he was able
Speaker 3: to prove that Home Alone was already in
Speaker 3: production.
Speaker 3: But it's about a young boy who lives in a
Speaker 3: huge mansion because his parents are rich
Speaker 3: but he's on his own and he lives there with
Speaker 3: his grandfather and then a man, a really
Speaker 3: creepy guy dressed as Santa, breaks in and
Speaker 3: tries to kill him and his dog and his
Speaker 3: grandfather and he basically has to home
Speaker 3: alone the shit out of it.
Speaker 3: But it's really brutal because he's
Speaker 3: European and I think I'll probably watch it
Speaker 3: again next Christmas because, you know,
Speaker 3: like the first viewing of something you
Speaker 3: just like wow.
Speaker 3: So I think my second viewing of that would
Speaker 3: be really good.
Speaker 3: So, yeah, I love discovering these hidden
Speaker 3: gems.
Speaker 3: I've not really watched anything new other
Speaker 3: than stuff I discussed in our last episode,
Speaker 3: like something in the barn or, um, werewolf
Speaker 3: Santa or Violent Night, um.
Speaker 3: But is there anything else you wanted to
Speaker 3: talk about before we move on to just sort
Speaker 3: of traditional or favourite Christmas films,
Speaker 3: to watch.
Speaker 1: I got Colombo Boxer from Sarah for
Speaker 1: Christmas and I watched uh Vincent Price
Speaker 1: and Martin Sheen episode and it was really
Speaker 1: enjoyable yeah, colombo's.
Speaker 3: We've talked about Colombo before.
Speaker 3: It's very well crafted, you don't?
Speaker 3: They just didn't.
Speaker 3: They don't make them like I used to.
Speaker 1: It's just kind of enjoyable, but it's.
Speaker 1: It's my age.
Speaker 1: I am as well like if I've been a 17 year
Speaker 1: old, be like I'm not fucking sitting here
Speaker 1: watching this for an hour and a half the
Speaker 1: age I am now quite happily just sit there
Speaker 1: and go.
Speaker 1: Okay, we, because of the formula of the way
Speaker 1: it works, we know who did the killing.
Speaker 1: We've seen that in the first 15 minutes.
Speaker 1: Now we've got to figure out.
Speaker 1: Colombo's going to figure it out and it's
Speaker 1: such fun and that's actually I take about
Speaker 1: what I said.
Speaker 3: They do make them what they used to, I
Speaker 3: believe, in the last five years.
Speaker 3: Tv is actually really, yeah, incredible now.
Speaker 3: Um, and people you know you've got big
Speaker 3: Hollywood actors appearing in TV shows now
Speaker 3: that are incredible.
Speaker 3: You know some of the Star Wars stuff on
Speaker 3: Disney plus.
Speaker 3: Some people don't like it, but some people
Speaker 3: do.
Speaker 3: Some people are saying it's the best Star
Speaker 3: Wars stuff since start the originals.
Speaker 3: And then there's other stuff.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of good crime stuff out there
Speaker 3: and there's been some great horror shows as
Speaker 3: well.
Speaker 3: So actually TV is very good but, um, yeah,
Speaker 3: fargo, there's a really good crime show.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see the first few seasons, but
Speaker 1: I've seen the first three.
Speaker 3: I want to see the new one actually it's on
Speaker 3: Amazon Prime also.
Speaker 1: I've got all four seasons, three.
Speaker 3: That's how I watched the third season yeah,
Speaker 3: I need to.
Speaker 1: Uh, I probably just jump on to the fifth
Speaker 1: one.
Speaker 1: That's a new one.
Speaker 1: I should really do the fourth.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen.
Speaker 3: I'll probably watch season four, but, um,
Speaker 3: I'm not in a rush because they're quite
Speaker 3: slow paced, but they are very enjoyable, um,
Speaker 3: okay, well, let's talk about, aside from
Speaker 3: National Olympians, christmas vacation,
Speaker 3: which we're going to cover in great detail,
Speaker 3: christmas favorites to watch for, and some
Speaker 3: of these I'm sure you will agree with as
Speaker 3: well.
Speaker 3: You know, you tell me yours, I'll tell you
Speaker 3: mine.
Speaker 3: As they say, I tell you I've got a soft
Speaker 3: spot over the years, the last sort of 10
Speaker 3: years, and I really love.
Speaker 3: I always try and watch Jingle all the way.
Speaker 1: It's so cheesy and silly, but I had it on
Speaker 1: the background this year for Elijah because,
Speaker 1: um, elijah and I, whenever he's over with
Speaker 1: like he doesn't have a bedroom here, he's
Speaker 1: like the living rooms, his bedroom with me,
Speaker 1: you know, and so we're always together a
Speaker 1: lot.
Speaker 1: So, in the background, while he's playing
Speaker 1: and stuff, I put on Jingle all the way it's
Speaker 1: just so good, um, you know, and it just
Speaker 1: makes you feel festive really.
Speaker 3: I also watched and I do watch this every
Speaker 3: year, probably, since you saw it in front
Speaker 3: of us, better watch out which it's just an
Speaker 3: incredible film that came out for Christmas
Speaker 3: yeah, I uh uh.
Speaker 1: Elijah and Charlie, formerly known as Jay
Speaker 1: um, watched um it because they're like no,
Speaker 1: I've seen that.
Speaker 1: I was like sure you haven't seen that,
Speaker 1: because I swore that's the perfect movie
Speaker 1: for us to watch yeah and they hadn't.
Speaker 1: So we saw them, watched it and they really
Speaker 1: enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: It's a good gateway horror for you know,
Speaker 1: I've, I've kind of just with Elijah, I've
Speaker 1: kind of just recently he showed me a
Speaker 1: Netflix TV show called One PC.
Speaker 1: So he's just a yeah sandy man but it's a 15
Speaker 1: and I've watched it all the way through.
Speaker 1: He's watched it multiple times, like you
Speaker 1: would when your kid used to watch the same
Speaker 1: video tape, and over and over and um, he's
Speaker 1: obsessed with it and it's a fifth.
Speaker 1: I was like this is a 15, no.
Speaker 1: And then I was like hang on, he's 10 next
Speaker 1: year.
Speaker 1: Like I know I might sort of thought about
Speaker 1: my own and I'm not a psychopath, I've not
Speaker 1: killed anyone.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go and get a hockey mask and
Speaker 1: not if anyone out.
Speaker 1: And uh, I just thought, oh, fuck it up.
Speaker 1: So I've dropped it at a bar.
Speaker 1: A little bit of him.
Speaker 1: I'll show him a few 15 horror movies here
Speaker 1: and there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know what?
Speaker 3: My dad did the same with me.
Speaker 1: He, not he understands effects because he's
Speaker 1: been with me when I've been making films my
Speaker 1: dad did the same with me.
Speaker 3: He introduced me to the bruce lee movies
Speaker 3: around about the age of 10.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, once I was once that was
Speaker 1: okay.
Speaker 3: I then got into stuff that had a bit more
Speaker 3: violence in it, and then things like
Speaker 3: sitting down and watching the thing you
Speaker 3: know and I already see.
Speaker 3: We grew up watching movies that shouldn't
Speaker 3: really been aimed at children, like some of
Speaker 3: the indiana jones scenes, joules, these
Speaker 3: movies that definitely are questionable.
Speaker 3: Really, when they came out, um, even stuff
Speaker 3: like the twilight zone feels a bit kid
Speaker 3: friendly, but actually when you sit and
Speaker 3: watch it you realize, wow, there's stuff in
Speaker 3: this that was would have really affected
Speaker 3: people.
Speaker 1: I do feel, though, in a way, a lot of this
Speaker 1: stuff is good.
Speaker 1: Like I um what we're watching horror movies
Speaker 1: was quite young and, when it comes down to
Speaker 1: it, I, you learn lessons from these movies
Speaker 1: because you see these idiots do really
Speaker 1: stupid things, you're like, why'd you do
Speaker 1: that?
Speaker 1: And you just you learn stuff from movies.
Speaker 1: Um and uh, alongside, I don't think it's
Speaker 1: too like uh, uh, we're getting into realms
Speaker 1: of rape or uh, mental abuse or torture or
Speaker 1: anything like that, or animal torture, I
Speaker 1: think.
Speaker 1: I think you could get away with a lot of
Speaker 1: things with her.
Speaker 1: I think it's not.
Speaker 3: I don't think they're bad lessons on these
Speaker 3: films yeah, and I think the only that's the
Speaker 3: only area my parents drew the line was they
Speaker 3: didn't they weren't comfortable with me
Speaker 3: watching sex scenes at a young age and, to
Speaker 3: be honest, I wasn't comfortable because I
Speaker 3: didn't really understand what I was
Speaker 3: watching.
Speaker 3: And secondly, if I was, I remember watching
Speaker 3: Ghost with my mum and dad yeah, I've
Speaker 3: watched Sex and Swords with Buckets and
Speaker 3: when that scene happened with with Patrick
Speaker 3: Swayze and Demi Moore really getting it on.
Speaker 3: You know it's all fun and games at the
Speaker 3: pottery table, but then it gets really hot
Speaker 3: and heavy and I remember my dad pausing it,
Speaker 3: going right.
Speaker 3: Well, that's enough of that.
Speaker 3: I think me and mum will watch the rest of
Speaker 3: this.
Speaker 3: Make sure it's okay for you guys.
Speaker 3: And I remember thinking what, what's
Speaker 3: happened.
Speaker 3: It's so bad what I, and it made it seem
Speaker 3: even weirder and seedyer to me.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: yeah, because you're going upstairs to bed
Speaker 1: going what's going on then?
Speaker 3: and you're going to watch what's Patrick
Speaker 3: Swayze doing.
Speaker 1: You can imagine what happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what I did because he got a clay
Speaker 1: penis.
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 3: but yeah, um, also, you know, every year I
Speaker 3: watch Home Alone.
Speaker 3: For first Home Alone, it's got to be
Speaker 3: watched.
Speaker 3: It's an absolute classic.
Speaker 3: And again I'm trying to sit in there with
Speaker 3: my two year olds.
Speaker 3: We have Home Alone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying to explain to them because
Speaker 3: they're getting upset, because the burglars
Speaker 3: are getting hit in the head with bricks.
Speaker 3: You know they're getting their heads set on
Speaker 3: fire and they're looking at me going daddy,
Speaker 3: he needs a plaster.
Speaker 3: Daddy, he needs a doctor.
Speaker 3: I'm like, fuck he does.
Speaker 3: He does need a doctor.
Speaker 1: Imagine that Home Alone was that Joe Pesci
Speaker 1: saying happens to him if he goes to
Speaker 1: hospital, comes back.
Speaker 1: Gets saying happens and if they go to
Speaker 1: hospital, come back.
Speaker 1: Just, it's like your, it's for your twins
Speaker 1: friendly fucking hell, what a different
Speaker 1: movie, but the hospital didn't question it.
Speaker 1: They patch them up and send them back
Speaker 1: because in your kids, mind they need that
Speaker 1: he's just keep going back and comes back
Speaker 1: with another bandage.
Speaker 1: He comes back and comes out.
Speaker 3: One guy at four degree burns all over his
Speaker 3: head.
Speaker 3: I don't know what happened to him, but um
Speaker 3: bandage.
Speaker 3: It looked like he'd been hitting that, but
Speaker 3: four bricks Strange.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I've got to watch Home Alone
Speaker 3: every year as well.
Speaker 3: Um, I watched Rare Exports again.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I've seen it for a few years.
Speaker 3: Well, I thought it was fitting because, as
Speaker 3: you remember, we covered that as our first
Speaker 3: film we ever covered Old Man's Coxe 10
Speaker 3: years ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah and god, there's a lot of old man's
Speaker 3: coxe in that flapping around in the wind at
Speaker 3: the end of it.
Speaker 1: It's not best when you get into High
Speaker 1: Definit, is it?
Speaker 1: Are you staring at on Blue Race?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was.
Speaker 3: If you're gonna see an army of naked old
Speaker 3: men swarming your village, you want to see
Speaker 3: an High Definition Gav, really Every grey
Speaker 3: pube.
Speaker 1: you want to see it Every swinging and
Speaker 1: thirsty.
Speaker 3: But yeah, that is a good one.
Speaker 3: Rare Exports Um, I also watched a couple of
Speaker 3: the classics, like Black Christmas.
Speaker 1: Oh, yep, so I did Black.
Speaker 3: Christmas Day.
Speaker 1: Christmas Day night.
Speaker 1: For me, every year is Black Christmas.
Speaker 3: Gets under my skin.
Speaker 3: Doesn't fucking love it.
Speaker 1: I also watched for the first time Bob
Speaker 1: Clark's other Christmas film as well.
Speaker 3: What a Christmas story.
Speaker 1: Never watched it before.
Speaker 3: It's my favourite Christmas film of all
Speaker 3: time.
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed that and it's and it's
Speaker 1: Colchak as his dad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I always think you always
Speaker 3: mention Colchak.
Speaker 3: I'm like what the guy from Christmas Story
Speaker 3: is.
Speaker 1: He's more famous.
Speaker 1: He's the guy from Colchak.
Speaker 3: for me, christmas, Story is like, um,
Speaker 3: probably the American Colch Christmas film,
Speaker 3: but somehow my family recorded it when I
Speaker 3: was about eight or nine, off of television
Speaker 3: and we watched it every year and now I own
Speaker 3: it, um, and I.
Speaker 3: It hit differently this year because I'm a
Speaker 3: dad and my kids really get a Christmas and
Speaker 3: that scene where him and his wife sit back
Speaker 3: and just let their kids stare into the
Speaker 3: presents I just thought they've worked so
Speaker 3: hard to get everything they can for their
Speaker 3: kids.
Speaker 3: It's also crazy, funny, silly, sentimental.
Speaker 1: It does happen, though, when you have
Speaker 1: children, every time you go back to the
Speaker 1: movie every year, not just Christmas,
Speaker 1: different films as well.
Speaker 1: You start to see them different, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then you start to change your opinion of
Speaker 1: things, and then, all of a sudden, you're
Speaker 1: like, yeah, I quite like them.
Speaker 1: I'm dad and I used to think they're twats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah and now I'm like fuck them kids.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm funny enough, like with home
Speaker 3: alone, because my kids have watched
Speaker 3: probably watched that about 10, 15 times in
Speaker 3: the last two or three weeks and I realised
Speaker 3: that Kevin McCullister is a bit of a little
Speaker 3: dick and actually, yeah, his mum is quite
Speaker 3: sweet but he calls her a moron, you know,
Speaker 3: okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he gets into a situation where he's a
Speaker 3: bit stitched up and he gets picked on
Speaker 3: perhaps a little bit by his brothers and
Speaker 3: cousins, but he's not very nice to his mum
Speaker 3: at times.
Speaker 3: So a good life lesson for him there to be
Speaker 3: left alone for a week in a house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he's not.
Speaker 1: He was basically.
Speaker 1: I was watching it for Elijah.
Speaker 1: I was like you're about the same age.
Speaker 1: I think he's eight years old, so he's
Speaker 1: slightly younger, so I asked Elijah what
Speaker 1: would you do?
Speaker 1: And he's just like uh, he's just because
Speaker 1: he's already cared about as his tablet,
Speaker 1: anyway, so we're watching Home Alone, but,
Speaker 1: um, yeah, he's not even a teenager.
Speaker 1: If he's a teenager, I would understand that
Speaker 1: response.
Speaker 1: So yeah, elijah would never speak to me
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 3: Well Home Alone these days, anyway, you've
Speaker 3: got the internet.
Speaker 3: So if I was, you know if I'd left the kids
Speaker 3: at home, accidentally, on purpose?
Speaker 1: I tried to introduce Elijah to the
Speaker 1: Terminator, terminator 2.
Speaker 1: I didn't feel the first Terminator is a.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a bit too dark.
Speaker 3: I think the second one is a bit more
Speaker 3: kid-friendly.
Speaker 1: He wasn't really interested, watched a bit
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 1: But I said to him would you want to
Speaker 1: Terminator 2, look after you?
Speaker 1: Do you know what he said to me?
Speaker 1: Why do I need a Terminator when I've got
Speaker 1: you and you're the strongest and kindest
Speaker 1: person I know?
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: And that made me very happy and I was like
Speaker 1: job done yes.
Speaker 3: That's good man, but respect from my son.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's nice to feel like you're a hero
Speaker 3: to your kids.
Speaker 3: Definitely.
Speaker 3: My kids tell me I've got big muscles.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But I haven't.
Speaker 3: They clearly don't know their dad.
Speaker 3: And last night funny enough just last night
Speaker 3: Edith didn't want to.
Speaker 3: She struggles to get off to sleep at the
Speaker 3: moment, so I have to lie in the room with
Speaker 3: her and sort of stroke her hair.
Speaker 3: And last night she said I like you, daddy.
Speaker 3: I said why?
Speaker 3: She said because you've got big, soft hands.
Speaker 3: There we go.
Speaker 3: And I thought I came out and said to Alice
Speaker 3: I've got big, soft hands.
Speaker 3: She went right, I'm happy, it's a
Speaker 3: compliment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was very stoked to my compliment.
Speaker 3: Well, you are the you.
Speaker 3: You are the biggest and strongest person.
Speaker 3: I know as well, gav, and I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't need the Terminator if you were
Speaker 3: around.
Speaker 1: I'd look after you, but I'm not big.
Speaker 3: Would you pick me up on a motorcycle and
Speaker 3: drive me through some Bioducks, bioduck
Speaker 3: things, yeah absolutely.
Speaker 1: I can't run my bike, so I'm a crash, but
Speaker 1: yeah Well.
Speaker 1: I still like that you try Shit movie when I
Speaker 1: come back naked in the streets.
Speaker 3: Imagine you walking naked into a bar full
Speaker 3: of bikers.
Speaker 1: Fucking dangling testicles.
Speaker 1: Oh I who's got a fucking bike coming then I
Speaker 1: need you.
Speaker 1: I'm a dirty little cane for us.
Speaker 1: I need you motorbike and your clothes and
Speaker 1: your boats.
Speaker 3: Another festive favourite of mine, which I
Speaker 3: watched the other night and got, as always,
Speaker 3: a bit teary at the end, was Scrooge,
Speaker 3: because some people don't like the ending
Speaker 3: of that movie.
Speaker 1: I've not seen it since we covered it.
Speaker 3: But Bill Murray, just that speech he gives
Speaker 3: at the end, man, and the fact that he's got
Speaker 3: real tears in his eyes, just great.
Speaker 3: And also it's it's got some really good
Speaker 3: horror elements in that man as well.
Speaker 3: Some of the ghosts are great.
Speaker 1: All the Scrooge ones are good.
Speaker 1: Last year I really enjoyed watching the
Speaker 1: George Lee Scott Scrooge.
Speaker 1: George Lee Scott.
Speaker 1: George Lee Scott.
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed watching him be Scrooge at
Speaker 1: one point, one of the one of the.
Speaker 1: It's always the ghost of Christmas past is
Speaker 1: always the best one.
Speaker 1: It's always like the gothicy, the big, the
Speaker 1: creepy one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the one everyone looks forward
Speaker 3: to, because they're like what's he gonna
Speaker 3: look like in this one?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's pretty spooky stuff.
Speaker 3: Cut off a sail.
Speaker 3: I've watched Die Hard.
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, sara and I did Die Hard.
Speaker 1: It's another staple of mine.
Speaker 1: I had a boxing day, though I used to think.
Speaker 3: I really liked Die Hard too, and I do like
Speaker 3: it, but it is nothing compared to the first
Speaker 3: one.
Speaker 3: The first one is just no, but it's still
Speaker 3: enjoyable.
Speaker 3: I think the first one is a.
Speaker 3: I would give it a 10 out of 10.
Speaker 3: It's a pretty perfect film really.
Speaker 3: The cast, the lines, you know everything
Speaker 3: about it really.
Speaker 3: And for the first time, I got emotional at
Speaker 3: the end.
Speaker 3: You know, when Al and John find each other
Speaker 3: this year, I was thinking, feeling a bit
Speaker 3: festive, and I thought, wow, they're in
Speaker 3: love.
Speaker 3: I'd like to see a spin-off where him and Al
Speaker 3: run off together.
Speaker 1: And and, uh, algol drives him yeah he's
Speaker 1: there driving.
Speaker 3: His tunes are always so banging, he's so
Speaker 3: funny Made me realise that Christmas and
Speaker 3: Hollis by Run DMC is probably my top five
Speaker 3: Christmas film songs of all time.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I walked in CX yesterday and it's
Speaker 1: just finishing.
Speaker 1: I was gutted, gutted.
Speaker 1: Whenever I hear it, I'm like it's Christmas
Speaker 1: time and while I was in there, I picked up
Speaker 1: National Land Cruiser location on Blu-ray,
Speaker 1: which was quite handy.
Speaker 1: I never got to see the commentary track
Speaker 1: which I was going to do, or gutted for, and
Speaker 1: I'm gutted that I never did the Randy Quaid
Speaker 1: sequel.
Speaker 3: Oh, I've done it.
Speaker 3: Oh great you can tell us about.
Speaker 3: Let us know.
Speaker 3: At the end of the first one.
Speaker 3: Last night when everyone was all tucked up
Speaker 3: in bed, I watched two more and then I'll
Speaker 3: stop then and we'll talk about, we'll get
Speaker 3: into other things.
Speaker 3: I watched the calendar which we covered the
Speaker 3: advent calendar last year, which still
Speaker 3: holds up, because we both really enjoyed
Speaker 3: that and that was a lot darker than we
Speaker 3: thought it was going to be.
Speaker 3: That was great.
Speaker 3: So if anybody hasn't seen that, it's a
Speaker 3: French film I believe French or Belgian, I
Speaker 3: think it's French about a woman in a
Speaker 3: wheelchair who gets a mysterious advent
Speaker 3: calendar sort of a great big box with doors
Speaker 3: all over it and if she doesn't follow the
Speaker 3: rules of the advent calendar.
Speaker 3: It's about like jigsaw meets the ring kind
Speaker 3: of thing.
Speaker 3: It's very creepy.
Speaker 3: There's some really good deaths and gory
Speaker 3: stuff going on there.
Speaker 1: Listen to our review lot from last year.
Speaker 3: Yeah, last year was upset.
Speaker 3: And then, to finish up the evening was I
Speaker 3: sat there with my glass of strawberry milk
Speaker 3: and my my gingerbread, while my wife told
Speaker 3: me off.
Speaker 3: I watched just human sugar.
Speaker 3: I was just literally.
Speaker 3: That's why I had a mental mid-night, it's a
Speaker 3: fucking hard line.
Speaker 3: It's Christmas.
Speaker 3: I watched Santa's sleigh, which I think we
Speaker 3: covered many years ago, with Bill Goldberg
Speaker 3: the wrestler running around time with a
Speaker 3: great big ball or a hell deer, as he calls
Speaker 3: it just killing old ladies and anyone that
Speaker 3: gets in his way, basically, and that's a
Speaker 3: good, fun film.
Speaker 3: So I've been watching lots and I've still
Speaker 3: you know we've still got a few days, you
Speaker 3: know.
Speaker 3: So I'll still be watching lots of Christmas
Speaker 3: stuff over the next few days as well.
Speaker 3: Still want to check out Fat man, which I
Speaker 3: know you said is a good one.
Speaker 3: So that's another one to check out for me
Speaker 3: and even though it's getting dissed, I'm
Speaker 3: going to check out.
Speaker 3: It's a Wonderful Knife.
Speaker 3: Still want to check that one out as well,
Speaker 3: but I know it's getting dissed.
Speaker 3: I will probably check it out.
Speaker 3: And if you've watched or any of the
Speaker 3: traditional films you like to, sit in watch.
Speaker 1: I've just been doing all that I need for
Speaker 1: the horses.
Speaker 3: You watched.
Speaker 3: It's a Wonderful Life, didn't you?
Speaker 1: just like I didn't get through all of it
Speaker 1: because I did it whilst cooking.
Speaker 1: It's quite a long one that one, yeah, and I
Speaker 1: did enjoy it, but it was a case of like I
Speaker 1: was pausing at times there because people
Speaker 1: come in to talk to me and then we're
Speaker 1: leaving the kitchen again.
Speaker 1: I'd carry on cooking.
Speaker 1: I wasn't cooking in my own kitchen, I was
Speaker 1: cooking in the ex-wife's kitchen.
Speaker 3: And also that's what the mum in Gremlins
Speaker 3: watches.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, and that is kind of I quite a
Speaker 1: dig that that I was doing that, you know,
Speaker 1: while I was cooking.
Speaker 3: I did watch Gremlins as well, and that's
Speaker 3: that's probably another film that we
Speaker 3: watched at a very young age.
Speaker 3: Talking about earlier topic, when you look
Speaker 3: back at it now you think Jesus Christ man
Speaker 3: there was.
Speaker 3: She was putting these things in the blender
Speaker 3: in the microwave.
Speaker 1: Well that I do apologize.
Speaker 1: Got a bit of a cold in that time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what made me feel sick.
Speaker 1: I went around my friend's house as a kid
Speaker 1: and his mum gave us tomato soup and said,
Speaker 1: yeah, I'll watch the Gremlins.
Speaker 1: So I sat and ate a bottle of bowl of soup,
Speaker 1: you know, and it got to that scene and
Speaker 1: they're blending the green stuff and I I
Speaker 1: can remember it like it was this morning,
Speaker 1: honestly.
Speaker 1: I remember walking out the stairs, walking
Speaker 1: out of the living room exactly, and sitting
Speaker 1: on the third or fourth step up and just
Speaker 1: sitting there and I could hear it going on
Speaker 1: and I was like no, I couldn't watch it.
Speaker 1: I was as little.
Speaker 3: That's the weirdest.
Speaker 3: That's two scenes for me that really hit me
Speaker 3: as a kid, where the dog being hung in the
Speaker 3: Christmas lights because I'd never seen an
Speaker 3: animal harmed.
Speaker 3: That I can remember in a film up until that
Speaker 3: point, and I was probably eight, nine when
Speaker 3: I watched Gremlins and I thought, jesus
Speaker 3: Christ, these things have hung a dog.
Speaker 3: You know, I didn't didn't know that he was
Speaker 3: dead, I just knew that he was hanging from
Speaker 3: the lights.
Speaker 3: The other scene, though, which still holds
Speaker 3: up so well is when the Gremlins in the
Speaker 3: Christmas tree and it attacks Billy's mum.
Speaker 3: That looks so sinister and good man, the
Speaker 3: effects for Gremlins.
Speaker 3: If you haven't watched it for years, guys
Speaker 3: go back and watch it.
Speaker 3: Just marvel at the effects work on that
Speaker 3: movie.
Speaker 3: It still holds up incredibly well.
Speaker 3: Gizmo looks like a real little creature,
Speaker 3: you know, and okay, you might be able to
Speaker 3: figure out where puppets were, puppeteers
Speaker 3: were hiding and things like that.
Speaker 3: But my god, that film holds up so well and
Speaker 3: it's so much fun as well.
Speaker 1: I turned up to Sarah's house Christmas day
Speaker 1: evening after I'd been cooking and with the
Speaker 1: kids and stuff and I turned up there and
Speaker 1: they were playing board games and watching
Speaker 1: Gremlins 2.
Speaker 3: Gremlins 2 so.
Speaker 1: I kind of sat there and watching Gremlins 2
Speaker 1: in the background while they were playing
Speaker 1: Monopoly for hours and hours.
Speaker 3: Monopoly.
Speaker 3: You sounded like Ali McMinn then.
Speaker 1: Monopoly.
Speaker 3: Mr McClane, would you like to be the top
Speaker 3: hat if we play Monopoly?
Speaker 1: Mr McClane, should we play Monopoly?
Speaker 3: Elliot is a piece of shit.
Speaker 3: Just a very quick side note.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sarah, I could hear her come out.
Speaker 1: And what a dick, because it is a he'm
Speaker 1: trying to.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's waiting.
Speaker 1: He's trying to say the show him a watch,
Speaker 1: show him a watch.
Speaker 3: Hans Booby.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I know he's fairly innocent but
Speaker 3: when he gets blown away.
Speaker 3: When he gets blown away, I'm always like
Speaker 3: yeah.
Speaker 1: Ah, it's just like what fucking coke adult
Speaker 1: forts did they make him go?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got, I could it.
Speaker 1: What are you gonna give?
Speaker 1: How are you gonna just go?
Speaker 1: Bruce Whisk could go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, don't know you, I'll
Speaker 1: finish, I'll come back down.
Speaker 3: Insane.
Speaker 3: Why, alice?
Speaker 3: Who do you hate more, alice from Die Hard
Speaker 3: or Walter Peck from Ghostbusters, who is
Speaker 3: also in Die Hard in a different character?
Speaker 1: Oh shit, that's a good combo.
Speaker 1: I thought you could say that, franklin,
Speaker 1: there's almost.
Speaker 3: No, no, no no, no, no, these two these two
Speaker 3: are like these two are like Walter Peck,
Speaker 3: because they're like little weasels that
Speaker 3: get under your skin.
Speaker 1: No, I don't like Walter Peck, and I'm not
Speaker 1: speaking of Walter Peck as for Ghostbusters,
Speaker 1: because he's not like one either, but I
Speaker 1: mean in this because he's in Die Hard 2 as
Speaker 1: well and not that good Does.
Speaker 1: Holly Does Holly any other Die Hards did he.
Speaker 3: I don't think he did.
Speaker 3: Did Holly punch him at the end of Die Hard
Speaker 3: she does, doesn't she?
Speaker 1: It ended with the first one, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she knocked out good.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad that he got punched and I'm
Speaker 3: glad that Alice got killed.
Speaker 1: Quite frankly, Good to meet her.
Speaker 1: They think Bruce Willis is is mental.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the name of what he has,
Speaker 1: but they think it actually was from an
Speaker 1: accident on a film set.
Speaker 3: actually, they're thinking it's a form of
Speaker 3: dementia.
Speaker 1: I think it's a film set in the 90s where he
Speaker 1: had an accident in his head or something.
Speaker 3: And this, he's basically lost the ability
Speaker 3: to communicate.
Speaker 1: Now but he still knows what's going on, ish.
Speaker 3: But this explains why and we've really gone,
Speaker 3: been mean about it but we didn't know.
Speaker 3: But over the last sort of 10 years, his
Speaker 3: career is him picking up little tiny
Speaker 3: snippets here and there, you know, and he
Speaker 3: it's because he, I should imagine he was
Speaker 3: struggling to remember some of his lines.
Speaker 3: He didn't know it though at the time, you
Speaker 3: know, we all just assumed he's been.
Speaker 3: Oh, he's found in another performance.
Speaker 3: He's being lazy, but actually so I wonder
Speaker 3: what Kevin Smith, who famously really
Speaker 3: ragged on him when they made that cop movie
Speaker 3: together, I wonder what he thinks of,
Speaker 3: because I know he'd heard, yeah, which I
Speaker 3: quite enjoyed Coppa to be honest, but
Speaker 3: actually no, because I listen to.
Speaker 1: One of the first podcasts I ever listened
Speaker 1: to literally was a Kevin Smith one
Speaker 1: interviewing the dude who made Looper, ryan
Speaker 1: Johnson.
Speaker 1: Yep, and he worked with Bruce Willis and,
Speaker 1: um, oh, was it him or someone else?
Speaker 1: It was the first time filmmaker and they
Speaker 1: worked Bruce Willis and they were really
Speaker 1: good and he was was like what he was good
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, it's fucking amazing.
Speaker 3: Well, I know Shyamalan and him, get on with
Speaker 3: him as well.
Speaker 1: Well, apparently it used to be that Bruce
Speaker 1: would be quite good with first time
Speaker 1: directors for some reason, like really
Speaker 1: championing them like first time filmmakers,
Speaker 1: but then something like Kevin Smith, I
Speaker 1: don't know but it's weird that he was quite
Speaker 1: friendly with Die Hard 4 and that's when he
Speaker 1: met.
Speaker 3: Well, I think I was talking to my dad on
Speaker 3: the phone the other night about Die Hard as
Speaker 3: you do, and I said to him, like hands down,
Speaker 3: that's the Bruce's best performance and
Speaker 3: people might think of it as a dumb action
Speaker 3: film, but it's so much more to it than that
Speaker 3: it's not.
Speaker 3: I well I know that's what I'm saying like
Speaker 3: people think of that film as an action film,
Speaker 3: but and it is an action film, but there is
Speaker 3: so much to it, it's layered and the story
Speaker 3: and, like I say, bruce's performance is
Speaker 3: phenomenal in that, um, but Die Hard is
Speaker 3: definitely my, my top five for.
Speaker 1: Chris, I had to sort of.
Speaker 1: I couldn't help it.
Speaker 1: I had to do it again with Sarah.
Speaker 1: I took a reminisce over my sneaking onto
Speaker 1: Nakatomi Plaza and being right in front of
Speaker 1: the glass door, standing there and going,
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, because I'd just gone
Speaker 1: through some back door up.
Speaker 1: Some fucking thing just snuck on there.
Speaker 1: Then the guards came out and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're used to their guns.
Speaker 1: No, they weren't used to the fact that I
Speaker 1: was there.
Speaker 1: They're like how the fuck did you get up
Speaker 1: here, that door?
Speaker 3: A similar thing happened when I went into
Speaker 3: the library from Ghostbusters when I was in
Speaker 3: New York and I walked into the library and
Speaker 3: I said Alice didn't really get it.
Speaker 3: But I was like, oh my god, oh my god, this
Speaker 3: is where they see the, the, the ghost and
Speaker 3: the lady.
Speaker 3: Are you, alice, menstruating right now?
Speaker 3: I said your name's Alice too.
Speaker 3: This is brilliant.
Speaker 3: And then I looked around and there was
Speaker 3: literally about 10 other bloke saying
Speaker 3: pretty much the same thing to their wife or
Speaker 3: friend.
Speaker 3: Who was just, and I thought, oh, everyone
Speaker 3: comes here and says this is the library
Speaker 3: from Ghostbusters.
Speaker 1: I've got a friend who's in New York right
Speaker 1: now and this morning he put our picture of
Speaker 1: him standing in front of the Ghostbusters
Speaker 1: place.
Speaker 3: There we go there we go Christmas,
Speaker 3: christmas, christmas.
Speaker 1: But Die Hard 5 I actually quite like, just
Speaker 1: very quickly, and I put it off for many
Speaker 1: years and started watching it and I was
Speaker 1: like this is such shit.
Speaker 1: I watched it one day thinking it's gonna be
Speaker 1: shit, kind of enjoying it.
Speaker 1: It's really weird.
Speaker 1: It's completely not a Die Hard movie,
Speaker 1: though I've seen it once You've got to like
Speaker 1: take that out of it.
Speaker 1: It's just an action film.
Speaker 3: For me, one, two and three are great, and
Speaker 3: three is like, not amazing, but it's still
Speaker 3: good.
Speaker 1: Samuel Jackson as a team cop buddy type.
Speaker 3: The reason it's fun is because originally
Speaker 3: it was a lethal weapon script and then they
Speaker 3: flipped it.
Speaker 3: You can tell that the dynamic between them
Speaker 3: is very rigged and murder.
Speaker 1: That could have been a lethal weapon movie,
Speaker 1: then why didn't they just make it?
Speaker 3: Because I can't remember what happened
Speaker 3: there.
Speaker 3: I think they thought they weren't going to
Speaker 3: make any more lethal weapons.
Speaker 1: Are they still making a new one though?
Speaker 3: Apparently, apparently.
Speaker 3: They better hurry up.
Speaker 1: We've got Beverly Hillscott next year.
Speaker 3: Did you see the trailer?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: it looks right.
Speaker 3: The chemistry looks great still between
Speaker 3: them and the fucking I'm not expecting to
Speaker 3: be amazing because I keep getting
Speaker 3: disappointed by the NGA Jones or whatnot.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway should we get into Christmasy stuff
Speaker 1: or whatever?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, before we get into what we're
Speaker 3: going to do next, guys, we're going to take
Speaker 3: a break and then we're going to talk about
Speaker 3: 10 years of podcasting.
Speaker 3: So, for anybody who hasn't been with us
Speaker 3: from the beginning, we're going to talk
Speaker 3: about some of our favorite episodes,
Speaker 3: moments, memories.
Speaker 3: We're going to talk about the highs and the
Speaker 3: lows.
Speaker 3: We're also going to talk about our lives
Speaker 3: and how they've kind of changed in 10 years,
Speaker 3: because a lot happens in 10 years.
Speaker 3: It's not, you know, it's a long time, it's
Speaker 3: a decade.
Speaker 3: The last thing I wanted to mention is a bit
Speaker 3: of a bar humbug, which is I took my
Speaker 3: children out on we're recording this just
Speaker 3: after Christmas Day, and I took my children
Speaker 3: out to a restaurant on Christmas Day which
Speaker 3: I've never, ever been out.
Speaker 3: So I've been to a pub once for a beer on
Speaker 3: Christmas Day, but I've never eaten food
Speaker 3: out in a restaurant on Christmas Day.
Speaker 3: But because we've got two two-year-olds and
Speaker 3: it's already hectic, we just decided that's
Speaker 3: about the bullet this year, let's do it.
Speaker 3: So we went out, we booked in, got there um
Speaker 3: about 12 o'clock, had three courses each.
Speaker 3: The kids really enjoyed it.
Speaker 3: You know, daddy, yes, christmas, they keep
Speaker 3: shouting they love their custard and
Speaker 3: they're pudding.
Speaker 3: We had a great time the last sort of 10
Speaker 3: minutes of it.
Speaker 3: They were so full of sugar and they were
Speaker 3: running up and down, waving all the old
Speaker 3: people in there and oh, it was lovely and
Speaker 3: um it just we just had.
Speaker 3: We just came away with a really good
Speaker 3: feeling.
Speaker 3: So my wife logged in to TripAdvisor the
Speaker 3: following day to leave them a lovely review.
Speaker 3: However, before she could leave a review,
Speaker 3: somebody had put in a review which is
Speaker 3: essentially complaining about me and my
Speaker 3: family.
Speaker 3: They said, um, their Christmas experience
Speaker 3: was ruined by a couple of screeching
Speaker 3: children, not laughing or giggling or
Speaker 3: saying Merry Christmas and waving
Speaker 3: screeching children.
Speaker 3: Um, and they said, we were there with our
Speaker 3: grandmother who'd lost her husband only a
Speaker 3: few months before and it was going to be
Speaker 3: her first Christmas without him and because
Speaker 3: of these children our experience was ruined.
Speaker 3: But the food was nice and the parking was
Speaker 3: okay.
Speaker 3: They put at the end, but I don't know what
Speaker 3: to say.
Speaker 3: I mean me and Gav talked about this off
Speaker 3: fair and people are always going to say
Speaker 3: things about your kids and you're going to
Speaker 3: get offended.
Speaker 3: But maybe if, if your grandma's grieving a
Speaker 3: little bit, just don't take her out to a
Speaker 3: restaurant full of people who are going to
Speaker 3: be a bit merry and bright, because it was
Speaker 3: full of drunk blokes stood at the bar
Speaker 3: singing um the pokes fairies held in New
Speaker 3: York.
Speaker 3: They didn't complain about them.
Speaker 3: No, of course.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the cinema.
Speaker 1: I understand when people don't want kids to
Speaker 1: cinema.
Speaker 1: So that's why you do actually have 18 over
Speaker 1: cinema for movies which aren't 18, even if
Speaker 1: they're 15, so younger kids can't go in.
Speaker 1: So maybe, like, if you're doing that, find
Speaker 1: a restaurant which is like going like we're
Speaker 1: not taking kids.
Speaker 1: I don't know what restaurant would do that
Speaker 1: because they'd get fucking social media out.
Speaker 3: But also, this wasn't a fancy restaurant.
Speaker 3: It was like a bar and sizzle grill, which
Speaker 3: is like a chain of really like in the UK
Speaker 3: yeah, yeah, we had the works, but um, they.
Speaker 3: It's not like a fancy restaurant, it's just
Speaker 3: like a pub that also serves food.
Speaker 3: We wanted to keep it cheap and cheerful.
Speaker 3: Still costs us 150 quid for the four of us.
Speaker 3: But I don't know, man, some people, you
Speaker 3: know, I get, if you're dealing with grief,
Speaker 3: I get.
Speaker 3: You might sort of say stuff.
Speaker 3: But I just thought I look back now and I
Speaker 3: laugh a few days later.
Speaker 3: But at the time I was quite cross and quite
Speaker 3: upset.
Speaker 3: But now I just think, well, if you can't
Speaker 3: enjoy, if you can't see a couple of
Speaker 3: two-year-olds enjoying their Christmas day,
Speaker 3: then I feel a bit sorry for you really at
Speaker 3: the end of the day.
Speaker 3: But I just thought I'd mention that because
Speaker 3: it's quite funny.
Speaker 1: And now I just always have it.
Speaker 1: When I was out there, there'd always be
Speaker 1: someone, because my, my three are fucking
Speaker 1: out of control at times.
Speaker 1: Feral children just fucking like I've got
Speaker 1: no chance.
Speaker 1: And you know, and I've had it before.
Speaker 1: People tell me can you control your
Speaker 1: children?
Speaker 1: And just the looks that people give it,
Speaker 1: just like fuck off.
Speaker 1: I know it sounds shit.
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm not me saying fuck off there, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give a fuck about that.
Speaker 1: I mean, for those of you, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: feel like they're screaming.
Speaker 1: That's annoying, but it's fuck.
Speaker 1: We're all living the same plan out.
Speaker 3: I can't fucking help you.
Speaker 3: Let's, let's be kind.
Speaker 3: I think let let listen, guys probably take
Speaker 3: a break.
Speaker 3: Let's leave that there.
Speaker 3: Let's say let's be kind and remember at
Speaker 3: Christmas, just try and be even a little
Speaker 3: bit more kinder.
Speaker 2: Really um we've all got a liver together
Speaker 2: yeah, if not, then fuck off, take your
Speaker 2: granny somewhere else if she's a bit sad.
Speaker 3: Anyway, look, let's take a break, and then
Speaker 3: we'll go down memory lane and talk about 10
Speaker 3: years of fucking podcast.
Speaker 3: And what was that?
Speaker 1: Halloween theme for free.
Speaker 1: Halloween free boop boop, boop boop.
Speaker 1: Did I all right back in a minute.
Speaker 1: Ho ho, ho, we're back again, we're back.
Speaker 3: We're back.
Speaker 3: So, gav, again, happy anniversary.
Speaker 3: Ten years, crazy, crazy, crazy.
Speaker 3: I thought what we could do would be fun now
Speaker 3: to talk and get real and talk about
Speaker 3: podcasting, but also, like ten years.
Speaker 3: Ten years is a long time.
Speaker 3: We've been friends a lot longer than that,
Speaker 3: but, yeah, crazy times.
Speaker 3: We've both been through ups and downs and
Speaker 3: we've also reviewed some shit films and
Speaker 3: some great films.
Speaker 3: So let's jump in, jump into the mix really
Speaker 3: and talk about it.
Speaker 3: Where do you want to start off?
Speaker 3: Do you want to talk about episodes?
Speaker 3: Do you want to talk about life?
Speaker 3: What do you want to do?
Speaker 1: I don't know you lead it.
Speaker 3: Alright, I'll lead it, okay.
Speaker 3: Well, ten years, Ten years ago, both very
Speaker 3: different.
Speaker 1: We recorded our first episode, and then
Speaker 1: what?
Speaker 3: Dimper's record.
Speaker 1: No, we didn't.
Speaker 3: Not to do it again.
Speaker 3: We did Because it's too drunk.
Speaker 3: I wasn't a married man ten years ago either.
Speaker 3: Obviously I am now.
Speaker 3: I'm still with Alice, but I also become a
Speaker 3: dad in that time as well.
Speaker 1: I don't think I was a married man.
Speaker 3: You were a married man.
Speaker 1: We've switched roles, yeah well technically
Speaker 1: Still converse, but yeah, not really.
Speaker 3: Separated from your ex-nate.
Speaker 3: But you've got the lovely Sarah now in your
Speaker 3: life, which is awesome, fantastic.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 3: Hello, sarah, merry Christmas.
Speaker 1: Shit, oh, she just got in there.
Speaker 1: She's had a do-mary Christmas.
Speaker 3: Fuck off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got some kids now as well, which
Speaker 3: is crazy.
Speaker 3: Your kids are grown-up man, because
Speaker 3: 16-year-old now a 14-year-old.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Nine-year-old ten this year.
Speaker 3: I mean, you only had two children when we
Speaker 3: started podcasting.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Which is nuts, and the oldest was six at
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, yeah.
Speaker 3: Can you I mean, this is what I'm saying
Speaker 3: like ten years, is it?
Speaker 1: To be fair, it won't be that long until
Speaker 1: they're 17.
Speaker 1: So it's just like what the fuck Nuts.
Speaker 3: Absolutely nuts, and we've taken a few
Speaker 3: high-atices here and there, you know.
Speaker 1: No, that's good then, because that's only a
Speaker 1: year Now.
Speaker 1: Kick them out the door 18.
Speaker 1: Off you go.
Speaker 3: Get at it, fuck off.
Speaker 3: I want to see that.
Speaker 3: I want to see what you do with that.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm going to do that to my
Speaker 1: autistic child.
Speaker 1: Yeah, please don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think that'll go well.
Speaker 3: We've taken a few high-atices here and
Speaker 3: there because life throws you curveballs,
Speaker 3: like we said, and Galf separated from his
Speaker 3: ex.
Speaker 3: But you know, for the best really, and you
Speaker 3: find Sarah now and you know I had some
Speaker 3: stuff I dealt with as well.
Speaker 3: I lost my mum and got married six days
Speaker 3: later, which is a bit of a rollercoaster
Speaker 3: for me really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was insane and that was the last
Speaker 1: time I was proper drunk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we got married six days later and
Speaker 3: then we celebrated being married for a few
Speaker 3: months and then the fucking world shut down
Speaker 3: for the pandemic.
Speaker 3: So my brain lost it at that point.
Speaker 1: Didn't we podcast quite a lot in pandemic
Speaker 1: because we were in the house going.
Speaker 1: Should we podcast?
Speaker 3: Probably two episodes a month.
Speaker 3: I'd say we were doing then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, two, you're squeezing to three quite
Speaker 1: properly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were doing a lot.
Speaker 3: I think everybody was doing a lot more
Speaker 3: content, weren't they?
Speaker 3: During the pandemic.
Speaker 1: There's some parts of the pandemic I kind
Speaker 1: of liked I've got.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1: There's parts when I was up in my little
Speaker 1: loft because, honestly, I had a little room
Speaker 1: in the loft and I was just making a little
Speaker 1: miniature house out of foam.
Speaker 1: I just got nothing to do.
Speaker 3: And that's why 10 years the last 10 years
Speaker 3: has probably felt quicker, because three
Speaker 3: years of that, a good two of those, was the
Speaker 3: pandemic really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, 20.
Speaker 1: To 22.
Speaker 1: And then after that the first spouts of
Speaker 1: years are coming back.
Speaker 1: Obviously we're only 23,.
Speaker 1: Going into 2024 soon.
Speaker 1: It was sped along but all of a sudden now I
Speaker 1: feel like it's kind of slowed again.
Speaker 1: I don't know why if anyone else but I feel
Speaker 1: like it's slowed down again.
Speaker 1: But when we came out of it it was just like
Speaker 1: go, go, go.
Speaker 1: It's like ah, it's foam, go, go, go.
Speaker 1: So weird, weird, fucking time.
Speaker 3: It's been crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a dad now, which still wrapping
Speaker 3: my head around it still feels very new to
Speaker 3: me, but also I feel like they've always
Speaker 3: been here, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny because you keep obviously
Speaker 1: saying bits and bobs.
Speaker 1: It's just stuff like you're learning and as
Speaker 1: you're, because you grow with your kids,
Speaker 1: because you're growing as a every day,
Speaker 1: you're a parent for the first time of that
Speaker 1: kid of that age, yeah, so you're always
Speaker 1: learning stuff.
Speaker 1: It's funny because you're always coming on
Speaker 1: stuff and it's not funny because I was
Speaker 1: there 10 years ago doing all that shit.
Speaker 1: No longer than that you know so it's funny
Speaker 1: seeing it here and it from you now.
Speaker 3: And now I'm seeing friends start having
Speaker 3: children and they're asking me advice.
Speaker 3: And I never give out advice, and if
Speaker 3: somebody asks me something I'll tell them
Speaker 3: how I dealt with it or something.
Speaker 3: But everybody's journey is different.
Speaker 1: As a parent, look what funny it is for me
Speaker 1: now, as I'm completely thrown from it now,
Speaker 1: if I could change an app.
Speaker 1: You know the problem because it comes up
Speaker 1: memory.
Speaker 1: You know muscle memory sort of thing.
Speaker 1: So I could do that.
Speaker 1: But there's other stuff I can't remember.
Speaker 1: It's so long ago now, being a dad.
Speaker 3: Well, the thing is even for me my time is
Speaker 3: gone you know, even for me with two, two
Speaker 3: and a half year olds, I don't remember
Speaker 3: those first few months because you're so
Speaker 3: tired.
Speaker 3: It's such a blur Like.
Speaker 3: My brother has recently become a dad, his
Speaker 3: first child and whenever he hands me his
Speaker 3: baby I'm like how do I hold it again?
Speaker 3: He's like you've got two.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, but I don't know, I've got
Speaker 1: that stuff I could do really well, but
Speaker 1: there's some stuff I'm like oh, don't get
Speaker 1: me wrong, I can hold a baby, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: drop it.
Speaker 3: But also you kind of like, you forget that
Speaker 3: you had to do all this stuff.
Speaker 3: You know, you think how do we get through
Speaker 3: all this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, I had a baby last year.
Speaker 1: I think it was Last year or two years ago.
Speaker 3: I was like you, had a baby last year.
Speaker 3: Held a baby?
Speaker 3: Oh right, thank you.
Speaker 1: And it was funny holding a baby again.
Speaker 1: But I always start to the point where it's
Speaker 1: straight away and a neighbor kind of
Speaker 1: comforted the baby.
Speaker 1: So yeah, if I can hold on to this, no
Speaker 1: worries.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do like holding my brother's baby,
Speaker 3: because what's great is he just kind of
Speaker 3: lies there and then I look at him and he
Speaker 3: doesn't really do a lot.
Speaker 3: He doesn't give me any back, talk or ask
Speaker 3: for a biscuit, and then I can just hand him
Speaker 3: back to my brother and say he's done a shit.
Speaker 3: You need to change him, not me.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so that happened as well.
Speaker 3: Lots of stuff, really, and also we, you
Speaker 3: know deadbolt films.
Speaker 3: We've done a lot in the last 10 years.
Speaker 3: You know, slightly outside of the 10 years.
Speaker 3: We made Shadow of Death, which Gav is just
Speaker 3: hit just hit Vipko, hasn't it?
Speaker 3: Oh, whoa it's hit, it's hit.
Speaker 1: It's on Amazon now for Rent and Buy, which
Speaker 1: is fucking kind of an achievement.
Speaker 1: I was actually for the first time ever, I
Speaker 1: looked at the Amazon Prime and add the
Speaker 1: whole thing rating and the characters in
Speaker 1: the background and I was proud of myself.
Speaker 1: For the first time ever, I was proud of
Speaker 1: myself.
Speaker 3: I looked at it last night and that's the
Speaker 3: trailer place.
Speaker 3: While you're reading it you're like wow,
Speaker 3: and it seemed myself in that trailer, you
Speaker 3: know, and I was thinking this is weird that
Speaker 3: Prime, although Pret-o-Natural, another of
Speaker 3: our pictures is it not on Prime anymore.
Speaker 1: No, it's actually free on YouTube via the
Speaker 1: actual company or Plex.
Speaker 1: Okay cool.
Speaker 1: Actually no, I think you could probably
Speaker 1: still rent it on Amazon, but I'm just
Speaker 1: giving you the cheat codes.
Speaker 3: We've done a ton of shorts as well, Most
Speaker 3: recently, of course, Star Wars, Sanctuary
Speaker 3: Moon, which we're very proud of.
Speaker 3: So sorry, Star Wars, Sanctuary Moon, which
Speaker 3: we're very proud of.
Speaker 3: It was an amazing experience filming that
Speaker 3: and getting to be part of that.
Speaker 3: Sadly, we'd be remiss to not mention our
Speaker 3: buddy Boz, who we lost shortly after that
Speaker 3: and he sadly never got to see it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, fellow podcaster, Some of you
Speaker 3: guys will know Boz from his show, the
Speaker 3: Little Pod of Horrors.
Speaker 3: So that's a sad moment.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no Guided you never see the Star
Speaker 1: Wars film so Guided.
Speaker 1: For that reason, you know, just I don't
Speaker 1: know.
Speaker 3: I know, I know, but it's one of those
Speaker 3: things, but yeah it did really well with
Speaker 3: Deadbolt films over the years.
Speaker 1: It was just this little.
Speaker 1: I just literally called it Deadbolt because
Speaker 1: Peter Jackson had winged up.
Speaker 3: I remember the conversation with you and
Speaker 3: you said that and I said, well, I like that,
Speaker 3: that's fine, okay cool yeah, I remember
Speaker 3: sitting in your living room with you while
Speaker 3: we were working on this, our second well,
Speaker 3: your second and my first script, because we
Speaker 3: banged out a few scripts in the early days.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's been very productive year.
Speaker 3: You know, at 10 years, not year, you know
Speaker 3: to the point that we've done almost 150
Speaker 3: episodes, probably have done 150 if you
Speaker 3: count all the little bonus snippets and
Speaker 3: Fright Vests and all the little bits we've
Speaker 3: done as well, done a few Fright Vests as
Speaker 3: well over the years.
Speaker 3: Well, I thought what would be fun to do.
Speaker 1: I've even interviewed Richard Brake one of
Speaker 1: the first ones actual legit people.
Speaker 3: Do you remember when we got messaging Tom
Speaker 3: Holland for a while of Psycho?
Speaker 3: Well, charter Wave no yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and his assistant kept saying yeah,
Speaker 3: yeah, yeah, we just need a date, we just
Speaker 3: need a date.
Speaker 1: He never got back or forth.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, he sent me a few years ago.
Speaker 1: Have Merry Christmas to me.
Speaker 1: Oh, christmas day, that was about it.
Speaker 1: It's just, I think he wanted to do it, but
Speaker 1: then he was trying to get through to
Speaker 1: whoever's organizing it and it was just
Speaker 1: like, can't we just sort it out?
Speaker 1: And, yeah, it didn't work.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we don't really have people on the
Speaker 1: show often, very rarely.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've had a few guests in the 10
Speaker 3: years some fellow podcasters like Kate, and
Speaker 3: some of our friends like Andy and John.
Speaker 1: Yeah, early years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're just fucking now.
Speaker 1: Just put the microphone in the room and we
Speaker 1: all sit in the room.
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous, so bad.
Speaker 3: It is difficult just to sometimes organize
Speaker 3: our own lives around getting a show
Speaker 3: recorded though, which is why sometimes
Speaker 3: there are delays, but we appreciate that
Speaker 3: you guys still support and listen.
Speaker 3: I mean, if anybody wants to know the way
Speaker 3: that we work is, I'll come up with the
Speaker 3: theme of the episode.
Speaker 3: Really, I'll check with Gav that he's happy
Speaker 3: with that, and Gav always gives me I want
Speaker 3: to cover this film, so I put it on the list
Speaker 3: and I usually try and pair up a couple of
Speaker 3: similar films.
Speaker 3: The way it works is we plan a date that
Speaker 3: we're gonna record and then, about a week
Speaker 3: before that date, we'll both watch the
Speaker 3: films, make the notes for that film, and
Speaker 3: then I'll take an evening to write all the
Speaker 3: extra segments like notes for the intro and
Speaker 3: outro.
Speaker 3: I'll do my research for World of the
Speaker 3: Strange.
Speaker 3: If we're doing a time team segment, which
Speaker 3: we used to do on every episode, I also need
Speaker 3: to do a ton of research on that and we put
Speaker 3: it all together, and then on that night we
Speaker 3: get together, we press record and we just
Speaker 3: go for it, take those breaks, like I say,
Speaker 3: and we actually record it linearly as well.
Speaker 3: So we record the outro, we record.
Speaker 3: Occasionally we have to break it up,
Speaker 3: perhaps, but we try and record it in the
Speaker 3: order that we're gonna put it out there, so
Speaker 3: that the editing from Gab's side is much,
Speaker 3: much easier.
Speaker 3: All he needs to do is chuck the music in
Speaker 3: and slip a few bits here and there.
Speaker 1: I just generally need to chop the nose and
Speaker 1: tails, the heads and tails.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then we will.
Speaker 3: I'll write up a little piece that Gab will
Speaker 3: then attach to it and it goes up online for
Speaker 3: everybody to yeah, I have to obviously pull
Speaker 3: the trailers and the audio for that.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that was a little thing.
Speaker 1: I have to put all the sound to fit with the
Speaker 1: length of our talks, conversations, but
Speaker 1: actually I've got it down to a T now where
Speaker 1: it's not too much work on my end actually
Speaker 1: and I can have it edited within the hour.
Speaker 3: And we've said it a billion times, but
Speaker 3: we'll say it again we both love doing this.
Speaker 3: We do this even if no one else is listening
Speaker 3: We've got patrons but we do it even if we
Speaker 3: didn't, because it is a little bit of
Speaker 3: therapy for both of us.
Speaker 3: We're friends.
Speaker 3: Obviously, we get together, we shoot the
Speaker 3: shit, we catch up.
Speaker 3: We always catch up a bit before we hit
Speaker 3: record, but we do a lot of our catching up
Speaker 3: while we're recording as well.
Speaker 3: We save funny stories and anecdotes for
Speaker 3: while we're recording because we love
Speaker 3: seeing each other's reactions to these
Speaker 3: things, you know, and we love doing that,
Speaker 3: and I'm just really thankful that we
Speaker 3: created this in a hotel room in Wales one
Speaker 3: night, which is a bit weird, but we did
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 3: We were working together away and Talked
Speaker 3: about something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we led in our single beds next to
Speaker 3: each other chatting and you said we should
Speaker 3: be recording this.
Speaker 3: Then we started.
Speaker 3: We just said to Sidere that we would.
Speaker 3: Yeah, famously didn't hit record on that
Speaker 3: first ever session.
Speaker 3: But let's talk about what films that we've
Speaker 3: covered and just to jog some of our
Speaker 3: memories and get a little bit of a
Speaker 3: discussion going around some of our
Speaker 3: favourite things and some of our not so
Speaker 3: favourite things.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to talk to you about some of
Speaker 3: that.
Speaker 3: So, gav, I thought I'd start off with just
Speaker 3: reminding you some of the movies we've
Speaker 3: covered, because we have a birthday episode
Speaker 3: each every year where the birthday boy gets
Speaker 3: to pick the movie.
Speaker 3: So, gav, some of the ones that you've
Speaker 3: picked over the years Dark Knight of the
Speaker 3: Scarecrow from 1981, you were really
Speaker 3: excited for us to cover that.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, though I can't remember
Speaker 1: it.
Speaker 3: really, you made us watch the Burbs, which
Speaker 3: I will watch anytime.
Speaker 3: I didn't make you watch the Burbs, that's
Speaker 3: for sure yeah we love it.
Speaker 3: The Lost Boys Fright Night.
Speaker 3: This is my choices, these are your choices,
Speaker 3: yeah.
Speaker 1: Lost Boys and Fright Night.
Speaker 1: It's a birthday, OK.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you also picked for your Tarantino
Speaker 3: birthday.
Speaker 3: You picked the Sorry, not Tarantino, but
Speaker 3: Snowy.
Speaker 3: You picked the Thing and the Hateful Eight
Speaker 3: great combo.
Speaker 1: Did we do the Thing and the Hateful Eight
Speaker 1: together?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what year was that?
Speaker 3: It was our third year of podcasting.
Speaker 1: See, that's the thing, though If you go
Speaker 1: back now, the audio's probably like good.
Speaker 1: We almost need to do fresh reviews of these
Speaker 1: things.
Speaker 1: Mm.
Speaker 3: You know, the following year you picked
Speaker 3: Silver Bullet and the Howling.
Speaker 1: I guess if we ever get to a point maybe we
Speaker 1: could cover it.
Speaker 1: We could do that, but that's not going to
Speaker 1: happen.
Speaker 1: I suppose Silver Bullet and the Howling I
Speaker 1: didn't want to pick the Howling you would
Speaker 1: have must have put that in there, because
Speaker 1: I'm not Howling's alright.
Speaker 3: No, no, you would have picked it.
Speaker 3: I never, I always let you pick the real
Speaker 3: thing.
Speaker 1: That's not a weird thing because I'm like
Speaker 1: Howling that's alright.
Speaker 1: So strange that I picked that rather than
Speaker 1: the Marquardt from London.
Speaker 1: Well, we covered that separately I think
Speaker 1: yeah, I know, we did yeah.
Speaker 3: Did a commentary you also the following
Speaker 3: year.
Speaker 3: You picked to support and sort of discuss
Speaker 3: mental health.
Speaker 3: You picked First Blood and Session 9.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was one of the first episodes.
Speaker 1: That was a hair of the episodes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, my favourite birthday episode
Speaker 3: was the following year, where you picked
Speaker 3: the Deadpool and Tend to Midnight, because,
Speaker 3: my God, I had such fun with those two.
Speaker 1: It's for jacking off.
Speaker 3: So much fun.
Speaker 3: If anybody who hasn't seen Tend to Midnight
Speaker 3: with Charles Bronson from 1983, get and
Speaker 3: watch it.
Speaker 3: It is good.
Speaker 3: And the Deadpool definitely, definitely my
Speaker 3: favourite of the Dirty Harry films, I've
Speaker 3: got to say is my favourite of them.
Speaker 1: And it gets dissed, though, and it's like I
Speaker 1: don't think you guys are looking at it
Speaker 1: properly.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: There's a funness to it which is not in the
Speaker 1: other films.
Speaker 1: It is a different movie from the others.
Speaker 3: And the following year you got Very British
Speaker 3: with us.
Speaker 3: We did what a Carve Up with the Carrion
Speaker 3: team and you paired that up with the House
Speaker 3: in Nightmare Park, Nice, Frankie Howard.
Speaker 1: I definitely picked that.
Speaker 3: That episode with those two films has got
Speaker 3: you written all over it, your cheeky,
Speaker 3: insensitive humour, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: And then last year we did the Relic and the
Speaker 3: Horror Express.
Speaker 3: Horror on a train no, not horror on a train,
Speaker 3: but creatures sort of.
Speaker 1: You could see, as the years have gone, I've
Speaker 1: got more like ooh and I've slowly thought
Speaker 1: about it and picked up good parents, you
Speaker 1: know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3: Well, I love it, and obviously our next
Speaker 3: episode will be well, not our next, but the
Speaker 3: one after will be your birthday and you've
Speaker 3: picked Sorcerer William Friedkin and Studio
Speaker 3: 666.
Speaker 3: So we'll be covering that in a couple of
Speaker 3: months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so you're still a strange one for
Speaker 1: it.
Speaker 1: But I want to just say fun, because it's
Speaker 1: quite modern compared to Sorcer, which is
Speaker 1: not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think when it's your birthday
Speaker 3: episode, you can go crazy.
Speaker 1: I just want something fun to go over that
Speaker 1: film.
Speaker 3: So that moves on to me then.
Speaker 3: So my first birthday episode I picked
Speaker 3: Alligator and Brain Dead.
Speaker 3: Wow, brain Dead.
Speaker 1: I can't even remember doing talking about
Speaker 1: Brain Dead.
Speaker 1: I remember talking about Alligator, because
Speaker 1: I pronounced the name wrong and Beau
Speaker 1: messaged us to say it.
Speaker 1: I pronounced it Robert Forrester Forrester.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: Robert Forrester Forrester, but he would
Speaker 1: pronounce it wrong.
Speaker 1: I don't remember, but I can remember that
Speaker 1: the following year I picked Psycho.
Speaker 3: It's a great movie and I paired that up
Speaker 3: with, randomly, jason Six, because it's my
Speaker 3: favourite of the Jason franchise.
Speaker 3: Obviously, that's what's banning in the
Speaker 3: works, because we're now currently annually
Speaker 3: reviewing the Jason movies every summer.
Speaker 3: But Kill kill, kill kill, but yeah whatever.
Speaker 3: The following year I did oh, this was a
Speaker 3: good year.
Speaker 3: One of my favourite birthday episodes I
Speaker 3: picked the Fly and the Monster Squad Great,
Speaker 3: great couple of movies.
Speaker 1: And I remember doing that because I now
Speaker 1: have to fly in Blu-ray randomly and it's
Speaker 1: body horror.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why you're a bit apprehensive
Speaker 3: of that one.
Speaker 1: I find body horror yuck, I don't like it.
Speaker 1: But I remember doing that as a review and
Speaker 1: you really enjoying reviewing it because I
Speaker 1: was looking at it for a review, as always,
Speaker 1: of the film and it came across differently
Speaker 1: and really more appreciate.
Speaker 1: More an intellectual look at it, I guess.
Speaker 3: Possibly my favourite, Cronenberg, I would
Speaker 3: say it's a yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm not a big Cronenberg fan because of the
Speaker 1: body horror, so yeah, probably would be for
Speaker 1: me.
Speaker 1: I suppose I do like a history of violence.
Speaker 1: That's what.
Speaker 3: The following year, I chose two sequels
Speaker 3: that don't always get a lot of love
Speaker 3: Ghostbusters 2 and Psycho 2.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Psycho 2's great, yeah.
Speaker 3: Tom Holland yeah, and Ghostbusters 2 is.
Speaker 3: I love that too, so it's fine.
Speaker 3: After that I got Stephen King the following
Speaker 3: year.
Speaker 3: I did Stand by Me, and Misery Stand by Me
Speaker 3: and Misery.
Speaker 3: Stand by Me and Misery Bastard.
Speaker 3: I don't think you were much of a fan of the
Speaker 3: following year when I made you watch Teen
Speaker 3: Wolf and Labyrinth.
Speaker 1: It's really weird.
Speaker 1: You keep saying these movies and I'm just
Speaker 1: sitting here going.
Speaker 3: Oh, you've got them in town then.
Speaker 1: Actually Daisy's Obsessor is Stand by Me.
Speaker 1: Fucking loves it.
Speaker 3: Have you got a copy of Teen Wolf or
Speaker 3: Labyrinth right there?
Speaker 1: No, I've got a lot of girls' films.
Speaker 3: Not good.
Speaker 1: Bridesmaids and Clueless and stuff.
Speaker 1: Um no.
Speaker 3: After that I got Arnold in the mix.
Speaker 3: Oh, I made us review Total Recoil and the
Speaker 3: Running man, some sci-fi 80s, goodness
Speaker 3: Sweet.
Speaker 3: And then last year or this year, because
Speaker 3: we're still in 2023, we did Happy Birthday
Speaker 3: to Me and April Fool's Day.
Speaker 3: In the flesh I remember recording those sat
Speaker 3: nose to nose with you, oh, really, we were
Speaker 3: together.
Speaker 1: We did, probably didn't rock two Mike Frans,
Speaker 1: did we Still one Mike was it.
Speaker 3: Is this a Beastie Boys quote?
Speaker 3: We were at two Mike's, and we were at two.
Speaker 3: What year was that?
Speaker 3: That was this year.
Speaker 1: This year we were sitting together.
Speaker 1: Oh, so yeah, of course you were around us,
Speaker 1: because we were shooting the Century Moon,
Speaker 1: weren't we?
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: Ah, so we would actually have two Mike's.
Speaker 1: That would have sounded proper.
Speaker 3: Indeed, indeed.
Speaker 3: Indeed, we also enjoyed our first year of
Speaker 3: having Patron's Pick movies, patron's Pick.
Speaker 3: So we've had Patron's Pick, patron's Pick.
Speaker 3: We got some Patron supporters a few years
Speaker 3: ago and one of them, matthew Godly, came up
Speaker 3: with a fantastic idea of letting our
Speaker 3: Patrons pick two films for us to review,
Speaker 3: which we've now incorporated into every
Speaker 3: three episodes as a Patron Pick.
Speaker 3: It's a great way, to you know, give them
Speaker 3: something back for supporting us.
Speaker 1: And it's amazing that you all support us.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: I seriously appreciate it.
Speaker 1: I'm not a very enthusiastic person when I
Speaker 1: talk, sometimes it comes across possibly,
Speaker 1: but I really appreciate it.
Speaker 3: But also we've got to review some absolute
Speaker 3: crazy stuff that we wouldn't normally do.
Speaker 3: So we've had Hansel and Gretel and Bram
Speaker 3: Stoker Stratkula.
Speaker 1: I've loved being able to do some of these
Speaker 1: Patron films because it's like when would
Speaker 1: we do this?
Speaker 3: I can't wait.
Speaker 1: Next episode's fucking banging.
Speaker 3: We've got a couple of good ones coming up
Speaker 3: RJ picked the Land that Time Forgot and All
Speaker 3: Lords of Atlantis for us.
Speaker 3: After that we got into some what do you
Speaker 3: call it?
Speaker 3: Hag exploitation.
Speaker 3: From Jamie.
Speaker 3: She picked whatever happened to Baby Jane
Speaker 3: and Straight Jacket.
Speaker 1: Yes, that was really interesting.
Speaker 3: A really good episode.
Speaker 3: And then after that we got a Poltergeist
Speaker 3: and a Redditory thrown at us which was
Speaker 3: again covering Poltergeist.
Speaker 3: I don't know why we just never covered it,
Speaker 3: but we got to finally do it.
Speaker 3: After that, the legacy and the changeling
Speaker 3: again the changeling is just a phenomenal
Speaker 3: film.
Speaker 3: I don't know why we've never reviewed it.
Speaker 1: And the legacy that was that building that
Speaker 1: I was going to go to.
Speaker 1: I never fucking got to it, it's just a road.
Speaker 3: You developed a bit of a man crush on
Speaker 3: what's his name in that from Roadhouse,
Speaker 3: which kind of a stash, and his sculpted
Speaker 3: buttons Sam Elliott, sam Elliott, yeah.
Speaker 1: He's quite a handsome fella.
Speaker 3: And then I remember Holly after that
Speaker 3: through a couple of curveballs that us
Speaker 3: would sell from 2016,.
Speaker 3: The Stephen King Scribd movie and
Speaker 3: Razorblade Smile.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we covered that, which is crazy.
Speaker 3: It was like an early Matrix vampire British
Speaker 3: thing.
Speaker 3: That was a weird one.
Speaker 3: And then, most recently, rachel is picked
Speaker 3: Mum and Dad and Run to parents.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was funny seeing that oxy between
Speaker 1: the lines here, right yeah?
Speaker 3: And our next patron pick, which will be our
Speaker 3: next episode.
Speaker 3: We've circled back around, so Matthew has
Speaker 3: selected Deadman Shoes and Flash Gordon, so
Speaker 3: we're definitely going to keep this going
Speaker 3: because it's so much fun getting these
Speaker 3: things thrown at us guys and we really
Speaker 3: appreciate you doing that.
Speaker 3: So start thinking about your second round.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to watch Deadman Shoes and
Speaker 1: Ages, and that is a great film.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a dark one.
Speaker 3: I think we might have to do those Deadman
Speaker 3: Shoes first and then finish up with Flash
Speaker 3: Gordon, because I think he'll save every
Speaker 3: one of us.
Speaker 3: Um lastly because it's our.
Speaker 3: Christmas Sorry, Because this is our
Speaker 3: Christmas episode.
Speaker 3: I thought I'd remind us and our listeners
Speaker 3: all of our Christmas shows that we've done
Speaker 3: in the 10 years, so our very first
Speaker 3: Christmas episode that we didn't press
Speaker 3: record for, I mean it's a record.
Speaker 3: The following evening we covered Rare
Speaker 3: Exports, which I talked about earlier, and
Speaker 3: Jack Frost the Killer Snowman, which is
Speaker 3: silly and fun.
Speaker 3: The following year we did Killer Santers,
Speaker 3: we did Santa's Slay and Sint, which you
Speaker 3: watched the other night, didn't you?
Speaker 3: I think you watched Sint the other night,
Speaker 3: no, I didn't.
Speaker 1: I was going to, but I didn't get round to
Speaker 1: it.
Speaker 3: After that we did Black Christmas, the
Speaker 3: classic, and we paired it up with William
Speaker 3: Shatner drinking cocoa in a cardigan in a
Speaker 3: Christmas horror story which I'm a big fan
Speaker 3: of, that one Drinking cocaine.
Speaker 1: William Shatner drinking cocaine.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 3: After that we got quite modern with Better
Speaker 3: Watch Out and we covered the classic Die
Speaker 3: Hard.
Speaker 3: So that was a really good Christmas episode.
Speaker 3: Yeah, after that we did Krampus and
Speaker 3: Gremlins.
Speaker 3: Again, the Christmas keeps on giving,
Speaker 3: doesn't it?
Speaker 3: Then we did that weird movie that you
Speaker 3: picked to follow the year after that called
Speaker 3: Secret Santa, about the family.
Speaker 3: That's punch gets spiked and they all start
Speaker 3: murdering each other.
Speaker 3: That was quite enjoyable, if I remember
Speaker 3: rightly, and we paired that up with the
Speaker 3: classic.
Speaker 3: Is it a Christmas movie?
Speaker 3: Is it not Lethal Weapon?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: We figured do you know what it's our show?
Speaker 3: It's our Christmas movie to us.
Speaker 1: What was that first one called?
Speaker 3: Secret Santa 2018.
Speaker 1: I remember when we did Calvair that was
Speaker 1: great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, that was the last year.
Speaker 3: So after that we did Silent Night, deadly
Speaker 3: Night and Scrooge, then we did Die Hard 2
Speaker 3: the year after that with the Wolf of Snow
Speaker 3: Hollow, and then, like you say, last
Speaker 3: Christmas we did Calvair.
Speaker 3: The ordeal which is certainly that, isn't
Speaker 3: it Gaff?
Speaker 1: It is an ordeal.
Speaker 1: The only movie I've seen, sarah Look Away
Speaker 1: Disgusted, and I've watched some films of
Speaker 1: Sarah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for anyone who hasn't seen it 2004,.
Speaker 3: Great but dark film.
Speaker 1: But I really like the movie and I have it
Speaker 1: in my DVD collection.
Speaker 3: And we paired that up with another equally
Speaker 3: dark Belgian film or French film called the
Speaker 3: Advent Calendar, which I talked about
Speaker 3: earlier, from 2021.
Speaker 3: So you know we've done that.
Speaker 3: We've done New Years.
Speaker 3: We went for a run of doing New Year's
Speaker 3: themed movies, but there aren't an awful
Speaker 3: lot of them.
Speaker 3: The only other time we really try is
Speaker 3: Valentine's.
Speaker 3: We try and do stuff that's got a slight
Speaker 3: romance or sexy or love.
Speaker 3: But we've also got Easter specials, don't
Speaker 3: we Gaff, which have been the bane of your
Speaker 3: fucking life, because we started off with
Speaker 3: Alien that was fine and Critters.
Speaker 1: I like Alien, Aliens and Prometheus.
Speaker 1: The rest I don't really care about.
Speaker 3: So every year we watched one of the Alien
Speaker 3: franchise all the way through to Covenant,
Speaker 3: which isn't too bad.
Speaker 3: But we then did Alien vs Predator as well.
Speaker 1: That's okay, that's fairly all right.
Speaker 1: Entertainment AVB too.
Speaker 1: Did we do that.
Speaker 1: Do we not bother?
Speaker 3: No, we didn't bother with that one.
Speaker 3: We've got to control the lights.
Speaker 1: But then it's the Critters.
Speaker 3: Well, we did, because Critters come out of
Speaker 3: eggs.
Speaker 3: We thought, well, let's do the Critters
Speaker 3: movies, critters 1?.
Speaker 1: We got that review from someone.
Speaker 3: We got a bad review because I think for
Speaker 3: Critters 3.
Speaker 1: They just didn't like me.
Speaker 3: Well, you just couldn't find anything
Speaker 3: positive to say about Critters 3.
Speaker 3: And as for Critters 4, it isn't any better.
Speaker 3: Really, it's just awful.
Speaker 1: I think when I started with Critters 2, I
Speaker 1: was like shit us too, they didn't like me
Speaker 1: saying that and I was like I'll get nothing
Speaker 1: from this, I can't help it.
Speaker 3: However, after that, because we'd run out
Speaker 3: of egg-themed horror films and
Speaker 3: Easter-themed horror films, I said I've got
Speaker 3: an idea.
Speaker 3: St Patrick's Day usually falls around
Speaker 3: spring slash Easter.
Speaker 3: We're still doing that, though let's do the
Speaker 3: Leprechaun film.
Speaker 3: No, we finished them though.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank God.
Speaker 3: So we started off with the Leprechaun.
Speaker 1: Or Frank Satan.
Speaker 3: And then we did Leprechaun 2 and 3, which I
Speaker 3: could tell when we got that to that point
Speaker 3: you were already done.
Speaker 3: Then we got to Leprechaun 4 in Space, 5, in
Speaker 3: the Hood, 6, back to the Hood and we found
Speaker 3: some fun stuff to talk about.
Speaker 1: No, I remember the second one of the.
Speaker 3: In the Hood ones.
Speaker 1: Wasn't that actually not like the stuff?
Speaker 1: Production value was OK.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I had.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a pretty good production.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's going to be surprised
Speaker 1: by it, I think.
Speaker 3: It's because the one before it, the
Speaker 3: production was so low, they spent all their
Speaker 3: budget on iced tea being in it.
Speaker 3: Do you remember?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the second one was actually just a
Speaker 1: little bit better.
Speaker 1: I think I remember now, fucking hell, I
Speaker 1: remember.
Speaker 3: Well, it was only this year we recorded it.
Speaker 1: That's why the budgets were the same, but
Speaker 1: it was just different people making it
Speaker 1: different director, production, whatever so
Speaker 1: one of them was more talented than the
Speaker 1: other.
Speaker 1: Sorry, that's the way it is.
Speaker 3: Now my question to you is I already know
Speaker 3: that your least favourite films we've
Speaker 3: covered are going to be in one of those two
Speaker 3: franchises, but which franchise to you is
Speaker 3: the worst one, Critters, which is only four
Speaker 3: films, or Leprechaun, which is six, not
Speaker 3: including the two recent sort of reboots,
Speaker 3: oh my God, which we're not going to cover,
Speaker 3: by the way.
Speaker 3: What one's worse?
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is worse.
Speaker 1: Probably the Critters, because at least
Speaker 1: with Leprechaun's it's Warwick Davis as
Speaker 1: well.
Speaker 1: He continues throughout the films slight
Speaker 1: theme.
Speaker 1: It's quite funny because Warwick Davis as
Speaker 1: well.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go with that either, as more.
Speaker 1: I don't know If you said like, right,
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 1: You're sitting in this room, you're going
Speaker 1: to watch a Critters' movie, back to back
Speaker 1: Looped, or the six Warwick.
Speaker 1: I was probably going to six, I suppose,
Speaker 1: because there's more of them, I don't know.
Speaker 3: If you could smoke weed and watch the
Speaker 3: Leprechaun movies and have a bong every
Speaker 3: time Warwick Davis has a bong, it might
Speaker 3: make you better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I thought I'd ask that one
Speaker 3: because you know, I know that I've put you
Speaker 3: through a lot over the ten years, gav, I'm
Speaker 3: really sorry.
Speaker 3: I've made you watch some of those films,
Speaker 3: but I think 90% of what we've watched and
Speaker 3: reviewed has been fun.
Speaker 3: Often that we come out of a film both sort
Speaker 3: of going like shit.
Speaker 1: Eight 85.
Speaker 3: 85.
Speaker 1: There's been some movies I've been like.
Speaker 3: I think the good thing about our
Speaker 3: conversation, though, is we always find
Speaker 3: something funny or silly and go on.
Speaker 3: What are you going to say?
Speaker 1: The difference between you and I.
Speaker 1: I will sit there and fucking go no and get
Speaker 1: moody and not moody.
Speaker 1: I just have more of a and it's not a
Speaker 1: negative opinion, because I'm a happy but
Speaker 1: like person.
Speaker 1: But I will really fucking give it to a
Speaker 1: movie where I don't feel like it.
Speaker 1: It's where you'll be a lot more upbeat
Speaker 1: about it and that probably makes it better
Speaker 1: listening rather than us both being in the
Speaker 1: exact same page, because that'd be boring.
Speaker 3: It would be boring.
Speaker 1: Unless it's a justified good film.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know when we're reviewing Die.
Speaker 1: Hard.
Speaker 3: It's something, of course, but then people
Speaker 3: are tuning in knowing that they're going to
Speaker 3: hear two people really loving Die Hard, I
Speaker 3: was going to say by hard.
Speaker 3: Then I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1: By hard.
Speaker 3: But I think what makes it is our silly
Speaker 3: tangents and stupid voices and jokes over
Speaker 3: the years.
Speaker 3: So long may it continue.
Speaker 3: And it's been an incredible journey and
Speaker 3: we're just about to.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't know what else to say.
Speaker 3: Really, it's just incredible.
Speaker 1: Shall we get on to the episode?
Speaker 3: Yeah, 2024, here we come.
Speaker 3: I was going to say here you.
Speaker 1: I thought you could say here we come.
Speaker 3: Oh Well, thank you for sticking with us
Speaker 3: everyone for ten years, but now we're going
Speaker 3: to review a one and only Christmas film for
Speaker 3: this Christmas episode which is the
Speaker 3: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Speaker 3: After vacationing across America and
Speaker 3: throughout Europe this holiday season, the
Speaker 3: Griswolds are going to play it safe.
Speaker 3: Clark, we're stuck under a truck.
Speaker 2: Oops, they're staying at home.
Speaker 2: I give you the Griswold Family Christmas
Speaker 2: tree.
Speaker 2: Hope you're not getting sat well over your
Speaker 2: sweater, clark.
Speaker 3: All Clark wants is a quiet, old-fashioned
Speaker 3: Christmas.
Speaker 3: Sorry.
Speaker 3: That little knot here.
Speaker 3: Do work on that.
Speaker 3: What he's going to get is the gift that
Speaker 3: keeps on living.
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas, His family.
Speaker 3: We didn't come to impose.
Speaker 3: Oh hell, let's play in your room.
Speaker 3: Do you sleep with your brother?
Speaker 3: Do you know how sick and twisted that?
Speaker 1: is Mom.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sleeping with your father.
Speaker 2: Have you got a kiss for me?
Speaker 2: You better take a rain check on that Art.
Speaker 3: He's got lip fungus seen identified yet.
Speaker 3: But no holiday could ever be more deeply
Speaker 3: touching.
Speaker 3: We were going to call, but anyone had to
Speaker 3: make it a surprise.
Speaker 3: If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to
Speaker 3: the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised
Speaker 3: than I am right now.
Speaker 2: Ah, we're really going to fly down the hill
Speaker 2: with this stuff, so genuinely moving.
Speaker 2: I refill your eggnog for you, drive you out
Speaker 2: to the middle of nowhere, leave you for
Speaker 2: dead.
Speaker 2: More truly uplifting, can I show you
Speaker 2: something?
Speaker 2: Let's just blouse browsing For more down to
Speaker 2: earth.
Speaker 2: Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2: If Santa is smart, he'll stay well clear of
Speaker 2: this jointed to death trap.
Speaker 1: What Then?
Speaker 1: Christmas with the Griswolds?
Speaker 1: Everybody come out quick look at the lights.
Speaker 1: They want you to say gris.
Speaker 2: I pledge allegiance to the flag the United
Speaker 2: States of America.
Speaker 3: This year let's chevy chase light up your
Speaker 3: holidays.
Speaker 3: National.
Speaker 1: Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Speaker 1: The thing had nine lives.
Speaker 1: You just spit them all, you whoo crack up.
Speaker 1: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation from
Speaker 1: 1989, rated 12 and hour and 37 minutes.
Speaker 3: The Griswold Families Plan for a big family
Speaker 3: Christmas Predictably turned into a big
Speaker 3: disaster.
Speaker 3: Don't worry guys, we're not going to do
Speaker 3: that.
Speaker 1: There's too much review like that.
Speaker 3: But we just figured, because there's only
Speaker 3: one movie.
Speaker 1: There's too much for you like that, here we
Speaker 1: go.
Speaker 1: Ostar Angelo, you do one word from your
Speaker 1: notes Fucking hell, what crazy people is
Speaker 1: going to decipher that review.
Speaker 1: I figured it out the biggest brain in the
Speaker 1: world deciphered their review of National
Speaker 1: Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Speaker 3: This is written by John Hughes, who is very
Speaker 3: good at writing Christmas films, and,
Speaker 3: weirdly, directed by Jeremiah S Chichik,
Speaker 3: who Did a lot of music videos and does a
Speaker 3: lot of TV.
Speaker 3: Now, he's only ever done a handful of films.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't know any of them other than
Speaker 3: this one and the Avengers.
Speaker 3: Now, I'm not talking about Marvel's
Speaker 3: Avengers, I'm talking about the British God
Speaker 3: awful film with Sean Connery, uma Thurman,
Speaker 3: ray Fiance, british TV show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, awful film, but in a cheesy kind of
Speaker 3: way.
Speaker 3: So, what a strange career.
Speaker 1: but yeah, well it.
Speaker 1: It differs really because this, this
Speaker 1: product, would have been one of some strong
Speaker 1: willed minded people and Chevy Chase being
Speaker 1: one of them, been a supposed to be kind of
Speaker 1: hard to work, with Christopher Columbus
Speaker 1: being kind of put off by wanting to work
Speaker 1: with Chevy Chase and declining, and John
Speaker 1: Hughes saying I can't do it I'm still
Speaker 1: wrapping up post on Uncle Buck, but you can
Speaker 1: imagine like sometimes you don't actually
Speaker 1: have to direct, you could.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be films out there which you
Speaker 1: like, guaranteed behind the scenes.
Speaker 1: The director was kind of just go and the
Speaker 1: director of photography, the producer, that
Speaker 1: so many people are quite strong people,
Speaker 1: would, it could, would and could of, not
Speaker 1: necessarily just because they're strong
Speaker 1: people.
Speaker 1: What just have happened?
Speaker 1: Because the director, whatever reasons
Speaker 1: happen, can make the film without a
Speaker 1: director.
Speaker 1: You can have everybody in place, knowing
Speaker 1: what they do and just the film involves and
Speaker 1: made itself and guaranteed Just movies out
Speaker 1: there which you love, which that happened.
Speaker 1: So, even though the director didn't have
Speaker 1: that much of a CV as such, I don't think
Speaker 1: that's too much of an issue to make this
Speaker 1: film, but saying that it's a well-handed
Speaker 1: film.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think the cast Really Drive it
Speaker 3: because it is an ensemble piece.
Speaker 3: Although it's Chevy Chase, there's a lot of
Speaker 3: cast members that all play their part, you
Speaker 3: know Randy Quaid, etc.
Speaker 3: And Without all of those cast members, all
Speaker 3: the children, all the old relatives,
Speaker 3: everybody, the neighbors, that's what makes
Speaker 3: this film and I can't.
Speaker 3: I'm it, didn't probably do it Incredibly
Speaker 3: when it came out, but it's one of those
Speaker 3: films that is a cult classic.
Speaker 1: It's needed, it's like you need it.
Speaker 1: It's Halloween.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it needed to take a long time before
Speaker 3: people started appreciating it.
Speaker 1: I think, really the two strong people, and
Speaker 1: it really would have been John Hughes and
Speaker 1: Cherry Chase, those two even though John
Speaker 1: who's and Cherry Chase producing.
Speaker 1: Just because they are, they're gonna be
Speaker 1: saying, no, this is what we're doing,
Speaker 1: that's what we're doing.
Speaker 1: This is what we're doing.
Speaker 1: John Hughes is quite visually directing.
Speaker 1: He's a director that no, it's a Quentin
Speaker 1: Tarantino.
Speaker 1: They know a crystal Nolan, they know where
Speaker 1: they're gonna go, what a movie looks like
Speaker 1: in their mind.
Speaker 1: Already They've pretty much produced it and
Speaker 1: done that.
Speaker 1: So when he comes up with the idea of going
Speaker 1: to Angelo Badalamenti twin peaks, david
Speaker 1: Lynch's composer and saying, can you score
Speaker 1: this film, which he did, he's doing that in
Speaker 1: a way, he wants to this film to be coming
Speaker 1: at it in a darker side and not as normal,
Speaker 1: because he knows Angelo Badalamenti's never
Speaker 1: composed something like this and it's just
Speaker 1: give it a hold of a thing.
Speaker 1: But he's the one saying that John Hughes is
Speaker 1: going in as producer, saying that the
Speaker 1: director isn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so the director is more of a
Speaker 1: director for hire, I think, for this
Speaker 1: particular project.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that does happen, like you say,
Speaker 3: from time to time.
Speaker 3: Where it's it's more about the, the clay
Speaker 3: behind.
Speaker 1: Where it happens mainly isn't TV.
Speaker 1: Hmm that's why you have a director.
Speaker 1: Come on to a couple episodes.
Speaker 1: You might see a slight signature, but they
Speaker 1: don't have time.
Speaker 1: It's move on, shoot move, shoot move.
Speaker 1: We just need a director who's available at
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 3: When did you first come across this film?
Speaker 3: Is this a childhood one or I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I think the childhood I do remember.
Speaker 1: I think a lot more the other lampoons.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the European I think European, mainly
Speaker 1: being English and known London, and this is,
Speaker 1: you know, pre-internet.
Speaker 1: So like it felt more homely to me, I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know this.
Speaker 1: But then one day my buddy is like oh no, we
Speaker 1: watch national boot cruise focus.
Speaker 1: It's like Christmas day or Christmas Eve,
Speaker 1: christmas Eve.
Speaker 1: And he goes no, we were every year and I
Speaker 1: sat every morning watched it with him a
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve and it was kind of fun to do
Speaker 1: that with his family.
Speaker 1: And then we kind of did it again.
Speaker 1: Then I kind of just took that tradition on
Speaker 1: and this year's only year I didn't, because
Speaker 1: I didn't get time to do it for and I wanted
Speaker 1: to do a bit more fresher for show, and I
Speaker 1: was luckily because I went see it yesterday
Speaker 1: when I was boss bits Bob's.
Speaker 1: I found it on Blu-ray and picked up and it
Speaker 1: was really nice to see in such high
Speaker 1: definition.
Speaker 1: So that's it, that's the history for me.
Speaker 1: How about?
Speaker 3: yourself.
Speaker 3: I think I Don't really remember seeing it
Speaker 3: as a kid.
Speaker 3: It was certainly wasn't on rotation when we
Speaker 3: were kids.
Speaker 3: It wasn't something we would watch every
Speaker 3: year, but we had seen it.
Speaker 3: But I think it felt like a bit more of an
Speaker 3: adult film so I didn't really get it so
Speaker 3: much.
Speaker 3: It wasn't really until I Really I mean, if
Speaker 3: I'm honest with you, the first time I
Speaker 3: really properly fell in love with it Was
Speaker 3: was watching it with you, probably a good
Speaker 3: 10, 11, 12 years ago.
Speaker 3: Your house and I remember thinking god,
Speaker 3: this is so good, and I think probably
Speaker 3: because the moment we were both sat there
Speaker 3: really laughing at it, probably drinking
Speaker 3: egg mog, egg mog.
Speaker 1: Everybody warning don't drink egg mog.
Speaker 1: And because I have one of the most glasses
Speaker 1: as well we were probably full of cheese,
Speaker 1: and you know crisps.
Speaker 1: But I think is that our podcast is style
Speaker 1: for the cheese.
Speaker 3: But I think, like our jokes, I think that
Speaker 3: was when I started to really fall in love
Speaker 3: with it.
Speaker 3: And then I've watched it every year.
Speaker 3: I think for the last 10 or more years, and
Speaker 3: In fact the last couple of years, it's
Speaker 3: moved into my top five Christmas films of
Speaker 3: all time.
Speaker 3: And this year I'm talking to my dad because
Speaker 3: he said I'll do a watch along with you and
Speaker 3: I said, oh, I can't because I've got to
Speaker 3: make notes.
Speaker 3: But I said look, tell me when you, if you
Speaker 3: want, we'll press play at the same time and
Speaker 3: then we can have a phone call afterwards.
Speaker 3: So we did and I said to him God, you know
Speaker 3: what, dad, I didn't realize Just how much I
Speaker 3: relate to Clark Griswold, but my god, I
Speaker 3: don't know if I've ever related to a
Speaker 3: character more in a film or a definitely in
Speaker 3: a Christmas film as A guy who's such an
Speaker 3: optimistic man, who's trying to bring
Speaker 3: everyone together and it's tries to see the
Speaker 3: good and positive and everything which I do
Speaker 3: in real life as much as I can, and
Speaker 3: Sometimes the world's just against this guy
Speaker 3: and you just feel so bad for him.
Speaker 3: But also it's so fucking hilarious and it's
Speaker 3: so, john Hughes, you know it's got that
Speaker 3: planes, trains, automobiles, style, great
Speaker 3: outdoors, those movies where you shouldn't
Speaker 3: really be laughing at this guy and his
Speaker 3: family falling apart, but you kind of are
Speaker 3: because it's just so stupid.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I think you're one of the reasons
Speaker 3: I fell back in love with it and really
Speaker 3: realize how great this film is really.
Speaker 3: And it it's just a film about a man and his
Speaker 3: family, but the scenes, it's each
Speaker 3: individual scene, everybody's got a
Speaker 3: favorite.
Speaker 3: You know, it's like a series of sketches
Speaker 3: almost, isn't it?
Speaker 3: You know, the opening scene, the middle
Speaker 3: seat, this bit, that bit, you know, and
Speaker 3: then just throwing all these cast members
Speaker 3: and as soon as Randy Quaid shows up, my god,
Speaker 3: it just kicks into overdrive because he's
Speaker 3: just a ridiculous character that you kind
Speaker 3: of love to hate, really, or hate to love
Speaker 3: which everyone.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's just awesome, awesome.
Speaker 1: Randy Quaid, john Hughes.
Speaker 1: The second film that he wrote of the
Speaker 1: national impunes didn't do so well in a box
Speaker 1: office and it didn't involve cousin Eddie
Speaker 1: and he felt like this film had to have
Speaker 1: cousin Eddie to make it more, make it more
Speaker 1: Acceptable in a box office and you know,
Speaker 1: get the money back against up a thing any.
Speaker 1: For only Randy Quaid can do it as well.
Speaker 1: So that happened.
Speaker 1: I wonder what he thought of part two, if he
Speaker 1: is still alive, john Hughes, when he part
Speaker 1: two came out.
Speaker 1: So he would not have like that.
Speaker 3: It's called Island vacation, cousin Eddie's
Speaker 3: island vacation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what happens I?
Speaker 3: Don't.
Speaker 3: The only reason I watched it is because bow
Speaker 3: Randall did did it for his Christmas
Speaker 3: special a couple years ago Pick six movies
Speaker 3: to show one of his shows and and him and
Speaker 3: his buddy covered it and they were ripping
Speaker 3: it to shreds and I thought I've got to see.
Speaker 3: I think it was on prime for free to watch.
Speaker 3: I thought I've got to see this and see if
Speaker 3: it's as bad.
Speaker 3: And, to be honest with you, bow is
Speaker 3: sometimes the reason I watch some of these
Speaker 3: terrible films because His show they rip
Speaker 3: things apart so much that it makes me I'm
Speaker 3: such a you know, I've got such a bad streak
Speaker 3: I need to go.
Speaker 3: You know I'm like with shark movies etc.
Speaker 3: So I had to go watch it and it was just
Speaker 3: terrible.
Speaker 3: I don't remember much about it.
Speaker 3: To be honest, I think they try and do a lot
Speaker 3: of callbacks and jokes and lines from from
Speaker 3: this one, but it just falls so flat.
Speaker 3: You know Chevy Chase isn't in it.
Speaker 3: It's not even that very Christmasy.
Speaker 3: It takes place on a tropical island.
Speaker 3: I think he wins a trip away or something.
Speaker 3: Just terrible.
Speaker 3: Gal, I'm only great, he's a funny Guy, but
Speaker 3: he's not a leading man.
Speaker 3: He can't carry a film that movie.
Speaker 1: I watched a very sorry that bug bust the
Speaker 1: movie or what's over it's called.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: I'll talk about it on last episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, great, yeah, ready, great.
Speaker 1: I kind of don't mind him, did he go, but
Speaker 1: hasn't he got a bit yeah?
Speaker 3: Him and his wife.
Speaker 1: In the world, and they were.
Speaker 3: I think they live in like basically where
Speaker 3: tin foil hats and think the government he
Speaker 3: basically is turning.
Speaker 1: It's one of his characters independence day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he's phenomenal in this and I
Speaker 3: have some of the best lines.
Speaker 3: But Clark is my favorite character, or
Speaker 3: Sparky as his wife likes to call him.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: She doesn't look like her anymore.
Speaker 1: No, she looks very different.
Speaker 1: It's like a totally different person from
Speaker 1: all the plastic surgery.
Speaker 3: She's had a Beverly DeAngelo.
Speaker 3: She was in Vine at night, wasn't she?
Speaker 1: and I didn't know it's her until it's half
Speaker 1: way through.
Speaker 1: And I've been watching her.
Speaker 1: For If you said to me who's that woman, I'd
Speaker 1: be like I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I've never seen it before.
Speaker 1: Probably wouldn't notice her voice
Speaker 1: eventually, maybe, but weird.
Speaker 3: We also got gracefully.
Speaker 1: Juliette Lewis in this as well, a young
Speaker 1: Juliette Lewis, and then one of the dudes
Speaker 1: from that Popular program.
Speaker 1: It's all about space theory or something.
Speaker 1: Okay not sure about that one.
Speaker 1: What's it called?
Speaker 3: Oh, you mean that got?
Speaker 3: Back in theory I can hate that show.
Speaker 1: He's, he's in that as me.
Speaker 3: He is fucking.
Speaker 3: Oh, you're right, I forgot about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's because I've really I try and
Speaker 3: avoid that show.
Speaker 3: I Really get greats on me that show does oh
Speaker 3: that's that show.
Speaker 1: I'm funny enough I'm about to say it's a
Speaker 1: Marmot show, but I'm not because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I Don't really have any opinion of it.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I understand why it has a
Speaker 1: following.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do as well.
Speaker 3: But I think what annoys me is I don't find
Speaker 3: it very funny and I don't, and I don't like
Speaker 3: it.
Speaker 3: And everybody tells me, oh damn, you must
Speaker 3: like the big bang theory.
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I don't know like what why
Speaker 3: would they like to think that?
Speaker 3: Because Catches on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, and I like some science
Speaker 3: fiction, but I'm not like these guys.
Speaker 3: I'm not socially inept, hope.
Speaker 3: Well, let's get into this film.
Speaker 3: We're gonna talk about this film and you
Speaker 3: know we're gonna, so.
Speaker 1: If you've still, it is still Christmas Eve
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 1: You're probably back at work or saying baby
Speaker 1: if it isn't see if you can have the little
Speaker 1: hot chocos.
Speaker 1: But say hot choccho, what's hot choccho?
Speaker 1: Choccho sounds like something you smoke and
Speaker 1: drink some eggmark.
Speaker 1: I have me a hot choccho and smoke some.
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: Well, like I say, this film, basically this
Speaker 3: movie is a series of sketches, really, with
Speaker 3: the plotline being that Clark Griswold is
Speaker 3: trying to hold it all together.
Speaker 3: He's got various members of his family in
Speaker 3: Laws aunties, cousins descending on him and
Speaker 3: he's happily taking everyone in over
Speaker 3: Christmas, all whilst waiting on a Bonus
Speaker 3: check to come through from his boss.
Speaker 1: Well, I actually had this sort of as a
Speaker 1: reviewer, looking at this in a different
Speaker 1: type, different than I ever have before,
Speaker 1: and looking at his choices and what's going
Speaker 1: on, and it's it as I can figure out.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have to work it out through clues
Speaker 1: in the film.
Speaker 1: This, this house, was his parents and they
Speaker 1: gave it to him and moved to a smaller place.
Speaker 1: This is what I've had to come to the
Speaker 1: conclusion, so it helped me this bit.
Speaker 1: Okay and he now has the house.
Speaker 1: But he's decided he wants a big family
Speaker 1: Christmas for the first time with everybody,
Speaker 1: and that's why he's inviting them all over
Speaker 1: and they're staying for sale.
Speaker 1: They're staying for like a month, which is
Speaker 1: ridiculous.
Speaker 3: Well, only edit.
Speaker 1: Cousin Eddie is Okay, but that's an idea
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be staying for a month, but those
Speaker 1: guys do turn up in the 14th, which is just
Speaker 1: to be insane, hmm, Anyway, so that's how I
Speaker 1: figured this out, because I couldn't, I had
Speaker 1: to.
Speaker 1: I've never really figured the movie out,
Speaker 1: and that's what's going on.
Speaker 1: And cousin Eddie just happens to hear that
Speaker 1: this is happening and turns up.
Speaker 1: And the reason being is when he finds a
Speaker 1: small packet present that he hid when he
Speaker 1: was a child in the loft For his mum.
Speaker 3: No, no, that's the present that he bought
Speaker 3: his wife, I think, for Mother's Day.
Speaker 3: Oh really.
Speaker 3: But I still think your theories is good,
Speaker 3: because he finds all those old videos
Speaker 3: canisters and also he's a man who is Almost
Speaker 3: obsessed with tradition.
Speaker 3: Absolutely he wants to keep this dream
Speaker 3: alive now.
Speaker 1: The reason I relate to my and having a big
Speaker 1: family meal now from everybody there.
Speaker 3: And everything you've just described is
Speaker 3: actually is my dad.
Speaker 3: My dad is Really loves tradition.
Speaker 3: He loves having a big family thing.
Speaker 3: You know, christmas was his big Thing.
Speaker 3: The house turned into Santa's grotto if
Speaker 3: everyone was there.
Speaker 3: You just see him sat in the corner watching
Speaker 3: everybody interacting, drinking and eating.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like a bit sad really when we
Speaker 3: lost mum because he's kind of taking the
Speaker 3: wind out of his cells a little bit for
Speaker 3: Christmas, but up until that point he he
Speaker 3: was bit like Clark really tried everything
Speaker 3: you could to make sure everyone was there
Speaker 3: and everyone was fed and everyone was
Speaker 3: looked after and had a bed.
Speaker 3: So I think that's why I relate to Clark,
Speaker 3: because he's such a sweet heart really.
Speaker 3: You know I heart.
Speaker 1: He's just such a good guy at heart really
Speaker 1: well, I think also he's probably invited
Speaker 1: everybody down because he's getting a
Speaker 1: swimming pool.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I do say it's one of things Sarah also said.
Speaker 1: Well, the house in America probably cheaper,
Speaker 1: but so many movies you have the people with
Speaker 1: like ridiculously big houses is, I don't
Speaker 1: know, I thought like it's just a bit like
Speaker 1: yeah, I'm like then how do you afford
Speaker 1: everybody's flights?
Speaker 1: It's just a bit like it.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It almost I don't know if it wouldn't
Speaker 1: intentional, but goes almost put people
Speaker 1: down, or do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Or it's just like people can't afford such
Speaker 1: properties.
Speaker 1: It's a bit like I don't really like that.
Speaker 3: Well, there is that.
Speaker 1: I never thought about that shit, and even
Speaker 1: on middle-aged, you know.
Speaker 3: Clark's plan is, on boxing day morning, to
Speaker 3: reveal to the ball that he's building
Speaker 3: swimming pool.
Speaker 1: Obviously, that plan and that's why I'd
Speaker 1: invite everyone down.
Speaker 3: I could you but then at the same time he
Speaker 3: wants everyone to know so that he can then
Speaker 3: fly them over for the summer when the
Speaker 3: swimming pools ready and they can have a
Speaker 3: big family summer thing.
Speaker 3: So he, he's still doing it from a family
Speaker 3: point of view.
Speaker 3: He's always got his and he loves his kids
Speaker 3: and he loves his wife and they love him and
Speaker 3: even when things go wrong or he looks like
Speaker 3: a buffoon, they still support him and say,
Speaker 3: dad, you did a good job, you tried your
Speaker 3: best, we love you, dad.
Speaker 3: I think the only people he doesn't like
Speaker 3: actively in this whole movie are his yuppie
Speaker 3: neighbors, who seem to hate him as much as
Speaker 3: he Margot.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Who live in Murdoch's Murdoch's, murdoch's
Speaker 1: house, murdoch's house.
Speaker 1: Relief a weapon, yeah.
Speaker 3: But other than those two, he, he loves
Speaker 3: everyone and he loves Christmas.
Speaker 1: Murdoch, murdoch, murdoch, murdoch.
Speaker 1: Can't fucking a crossover, just those two.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, if Murdoch's pissed off with
Speaker 3: Rick's behavior, if we, if Murdoch gets
Speaker 3: pissed off with Rick's behavior, what's he
Speaker 3: gonna be like being paired up with Murdoch?
Speaker 3: He'd be in a.
Speaker 3: It'd be in a helicopter.
Speaker 1: It's not just a why he's not gonna be like
Speaker 1: this fucking white guy.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 3: It just that it's like this white guy and
Speaker 3: he's flying a helicopter upside down and
Speaker 3: he's like why are we upside down?
Speaker 3: I'm too old for this shit, murdoch.
Speaker 1: Murdoch.
Speaker 3: Oh man Murdoch, what a great character.
Speaker 1: I want to see that.
Speaker 1: Should we get into it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's do it, so we still have a car.
Speaker 3: Well, we start off with the nice animated
Speaker 3: credits, which always gets me in the
Speaker 3: Christmas spirit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, my god, that song.
Speaker 1: Please kill me now.
Speaker 3: I oh, really I love that song.
Speaker 1: No, no, it's.
Speaker 1: Please choose a different singer.
Speaker 3: Maybe you can do it.
Speaker 3: Oh man, yeah, you're right, we're in that.
Speaker 3: We start off in a very eight, late 80s
Speaker 3: American family wagon, station wagon, and
Speaker 3: we're driving along and the family is
Speaker 3: singing Again.
Speaker 3: This gives us straight away we know who
Speaker 3: Clark is.
Speaker 1: He's there, oh what what is with with this
Speaker 1: is you see the wife just been like okay,
Speaker 1: husband, I would you know Long fit is.
Speaker 1: Oh, come on, kids, here we go.
Speaker 1: And it's just so funny the dynamic and the
Speaker 1: mum and dad Absolutely adore and love each
Speaker 1: other, which is quite sweet and it's quite
Speaker 1: evident.
Speaker 1: Idiots like my kids think I am you know
Speaker 1: Accia recently they my kids think it's
Speaker 1: quite cool I've got a movie for rent and
Speaker 1: buy on prime shadow death Amazon Prime.
Speaker 1: They think I'm quite cool.
Speaker 1: It's like, of course, some cool points
Speaker 1: recently.
Speaker 3: Well, the kids, you know they're sat in the
Speaker 3: back.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, oh, because then they start
Speaker 3: singing jingle bells as well, you know.
Speaker 1: The idea that he's just gonna go out to the
Speaker 1: woods, not not just close by, they're gonna
Speaker 1: hike, it's like.
Speaker 1: It's like.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, just out in the middle
Speaker 1: of fucking nowhere it's gonna go and find a
Speaker 1: tree.
Speaker 1: Doesn't take us all which really eventually
Speaker 1: find out what is the idea in this.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 1: I love the fact that he's just trying to be
Speaker 1: proper old-school, traditional.
Speaker 1: Hey, come on kids.
Speaker 3: I think the problem is the problem with
Speaker 3: Clark is he thinks with his heart and not
Speaker 3: his head.
Speaker 1: Evident.
Speaker 3: Because they're like well, where are we
Speaker 3: going?
Speaker 1: Basically, it's almost like he's like his
Speaker 1: heart has gone Tree.
Speaker 1: No, let's go.
Speaker 1: Everybody cut in the car.
Speaker 1: Let's go, we're going.
Speaker 3: It's not just the tree, is it it?
Speaker 3: He says the big, we're going to pick up the,
Speaker 3: the centerpiece, the Symbol of our family's
Speaker 3: Christmas, and I'm talking about the
Speaker 3: Griswold family tree.
Speaker 3: It's the most important thing.
Speaker 3: If we've got that in the house, then
Speaker 3: Christmas can start.
Speaker 3: So it's it's like the symbol of everything
Speaker 3: that is Griswold Christmas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're like why don't we just go
Speaker 3: and buy me?
Speaker 3: So that's not how it works.
Speaker 3: We have to go into a field, hack one down
Speaker 3: and bring it home.
Speaker 3: That's the way it is, that's the way my dad
Speaker 3: did it.
Speaker 3: That's the way his dad did it.
Speaker 3: You know, you get the impression this is a
Speaker 3: tradition.
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 1: I am never going out and getting a train
Speaker 1: chucking on top of my Prius.
Speaker 1: I never make it anywhere.
Speaker 3: Don't, don't do it, especially this tree
Speaker 3: with the roots and all well, before they
Speaker 3: get there, gov, they get some jackasses
Speaker 3: riding their tail, don't they?
Speaker 1: I love these guys couple of hillbillies in
Speaker 1: the vehicle which was in they live.
Speaker 3: Is it that car is?
Speaker 1: that live anchor Russell's job car in
Speaker 1: overboard brilliant.
Speaker 3: Well, these guys really are riding their
Speaker 3: tail, so they sort of go around him and he
Speaker 3: flips them the bird, and then Then they put
Speaker 3: the brakes on and he always crashes.
Speaker 1: I know finally they put these break.
Speaker 1: They did.
Speaker 1: It's that old-classic trick.
Speaker 1: I've had people do it to me before.
Speaker 1: I had some kids do it to me once.
Speaker 1: It's really weird.
Speaker 1: I was with someone else going what these,
Speaker 1: what these teenage kids have just learned
Speaker 1: to drive doing, and they're like Thinking
Speaker 1: that I was really close behind them because
Speaker 1: I think the kid had learned, just let it
Speaker 1: drive and didn't know perception, and I
Speaker 1: said I'm not even that close to them.
Speaker 1: They're doing the brakes, you know, and I
Speaker 1: was like I'm not even near them, I don't
Speaker 1: know what they're trying to do.
Speaker 1: Or was it like jump in?
Speaker 1: It's like okay, slow down and anyway.
Speaker 1: I've had that done.
Speaker 1: So these guys are doing this.
Speaker 1: These are your typical kind of you don't
Speaker 1: want to piss off.
Speaker 1: They've probably got a shotgun and the dog
Speaker 1: Sick balls chopper type dog, you know yeah.
Speaker 3: He says to them Well, you wait and see what
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do, don't worry.
Speaker 3: I think he says I'm gonna burn dust, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna tell them to eat my rubber rusty is
Speaker 3: trying to explain to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't even get the words right.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is a good idea, but but
Speaker 1: you know he's still gonna go for it Because
Speaker 1: yeah, because he has a jacket.
Speaker 1: It's right in his tail, as he says.
Speaker 3: Well, they eventually run him off the road
Speaker 3: by tricking him into the path of a log
Speaker 3: lorry from to final destination to so he's
Speaker 3: Thinks on his feet and he just pulls out.
Speaker 1: But as he pulls out, it's something you do
Speaker 1: when you drive, Dan.
Speaker 3: You look in your mirror just pull out.
Speaker 1: You go, huh.
Speaker 1: No, I won't go.
Speaker 1: There's a big fucking lorry on the other
Speaker 1: lane Wife for that and then I'll pull out.
Speaker 1: No, no.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 3: So this stunt is something that I've seen
Speaker 3: in a Jackie Chan movie once as well, and
Speaker 3: what they managed to do is get and it's
Speaker 3: probably attached, I should imagine but
Speaker 3: they think he accidentally drives his car
Speaker 3: underneath a huge juggernaut, the space
Speaker 3: underneath it, and then they're trapped and
Speaker 3: and he's like what do I do?
Speaker 3: What do I do?
Speaker 3: She's like I don't know.
Speaker 3: He's like, well, I didn't mean to get us
Speaker 3: under here, and they're kind of driving
Speaker 3: along underneath this lorry and he's like,
Speaker 3: well, how do I get out?
Speaker 3: Well, he pulls out and Slams off into a big
Speaker 3: bank of snow and they all survive, because
Speaker 3: the next we see them trudging through the
Speaker 3: snow Trying to find this Christmas tree.
Speaker 1: It's a ridiculous.
Speaker 3: His daughter's frozen who's?
Speaker 1: carrying it Him and that Lowe's for.
Speaker 3: But his daughter can't carry it because
Speaker 3: she's frozen from the waist down and her
Speaker 3: eyeballs are frozen.
Speaker 3: She can't see.
Speaker 1: It reminded me of if I tried to take Daisy
Speaker 1: out and just out of that I would hear every
Speaker 1: swear word under the Sun.
Speaker 1: And it do not mean I could.
Speaker 1: You can never get a teenage girl out there,
Speaker 1: I don't think.
Speaker 1: Happily.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, like you said earlier, how?
Speaker 1: did he get out?
Speaker 1: Do they get big foot to pull it out
Speaker 1: eventually?
Speaker 1: I don't know how they put it out the ground
Speaker 1: that's the thing, though, because we're
Speaker 1: doing a review, as I on this, I started
Speaker 1: doing logic and I was like I stop, gav,
Speaker 1: stop putting logic to it, it's just fun
Speaker 1: sketches.
Speaker 3: Yeah Well, somehow he pulls out the ground
Speaker 3: and the next shot, the next shot is you see
Speaker 3: three, which is about twice as big as the
Speaker 3: car With all the roots that attached not
Speaker 3: just the roots, like a whole mound of
Speaker 3: triangle of turf.
Speaker 3: It's fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1: When he gets back though, todd and Margo
Speaker 1: happy to be out there there.
Speaker 1: There you're.
Speaker 1: Yuppie, I've got to say 90s.
Speaker 1: Here You're up, he kind of jogging pair
Speaker 1: like they're the new type of when event,
Speaker 1: when we originally had like people going to
Speaker 1: like mineral vidman shops and things like
Speaker 1: that.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean when it's a more
Speaker 1: than any, a certain amount of people, do
Speaker 1: that?
Speaker 3: now Everybody does and they're really into
Speaker 3: their technology because they've got a
Speaker 3: fancy high-fi stereo system.
Speaker 1: Anyway, they've got a certain class that
Speaker 1: they feel that they are, or whatever.
Speaker 1: A cousin any really makes them Realize
Speaker 1: there is definitely other classes and and
Speaker 1: they basically see him and I, oh my god,
Speaker 1: look what he's got over there.
Speaker 1: And obviously we see the neighborhood
Speaker 1: rivalry.
Speaker 1: So they sort of say, hey, chris world,
Speaker 1: where you just take that tree, yeah he says
Speaker 1: when did you bend over?
Speaker 1: And I'll show you that's no way to talk to
Speaker 1: me.
Speaker 1: Chris world, who do you think you are?
Speaker 3: I wasn't talking to you and it's just such
Speaker 3: a great exchange and you know that although
Speaker 3: this guy's a bit of a softy, he will not
Speaker 3: take shit from these neighbors.
Speaker 1: Well, he's got a Hockey mask on and
Speaker 1: chainsaw raring at raw and at them over his
Speaker 1: head.
Speaker 3: Why don't you bend over and I'll show you
Speaker 3: what a great comeback.
Speaker 1: I wasn't talking to you.
Speaker 3: It's so good, it's so good.
Speaker 3: Well, he gets like the tree in the house.
Speaker 3: Somehow it's all tied up with rope and he
Speaker 3: says here we go, guys, this is a big moment.
Speaker 3: And she's sort of saying it's very bees,
Speaker 3: yes, it is a little fool.
Speaker 1: A third of it is bent over because he
Speaker 1: doesn't fit.
Speaker 1: It doesn't fit in there.
Speaker 3: Will the staff?
Speaker 3: And he's like, yes, I'm sure it will.
Speaker 3: We might need to trim some of it down, but
Speaker 3: it's fine.
Speaker 3: He says, right, he's getting ready to cut
Speaker 3: the ropes to let all the branches settle.
Speaker 3: And he says I give you the Griswold family
Speaker 3: tree and and they're all looking like
Speaker 3: excitedly because the kids really believe
Speaker 3: in their dad.
Speaker 3: You know, he cuts the ropes and it takes up
Speaker 3: the entire living room, smashes all the
Speaker 3: windows and in golf sim, he's inside it
Speaker 3: somewhere.
Speaker 1: All you hear is him say a lot of sap in
Speaker 1: here, a lot of sap and then he's in bed and
Speaker 1: Covered sap with Ellen and they're just
Speaker 1: basically stuck to each other.
Speaker 3: He's reading a magazine and his fingers are
Speaker 3: sticking to the pages, then he sticks to
Speaker 3: her hair and then he sticks to the lamp.
Speaker 1: Very funny but silly comic stuff and the
Speaker 1: next day is December the 14th, my middle
Speaker 1: child's birthday and also the day of the
Speaker 1: grandparents both turn up at the exact same
Speaker 1: time.
Speaker 3: They do.
Speaker 3: Before that, though, we do see Clark at
Speaker 3: work with his Tasmanian devil cup full of
Speaker 3: cocoa, and this is where we find out.
Speaker 3: He's talking to his colleague who says oh,
Speaker 3: we should be getting our bonus check soon.
Speaker 3: He says look, I've got a secret.
Speaker 3: You're right.
Speaker 3: Clark says I've got a secret.
Speaker 1: Bill Murray's, not his boss.
Speaker 1: Sorry, bill.
Speaker 1: No, not you, bill.
Speaker 1: That's later the segment.
Speaker 1: No, your brother was in the movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah yeah, bill Murray's brother is
Speaker 3: his boss and he says so, he sucks up to him
Speaker 3: a little bit, he doesn't shit.
Speaker 3: But he also shows his colleague you know,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be getting this swimming pool.
Speaker 3: I've already put down $7,500 Deposit on
Speaker 3: this, so when I get my bonus check I can
Speaker 3: pay the rest and then I can tell my family
Speaker 3: we're getting a, you know, for Christmas.
Speaker 3: I'm getting you all a swimming pool ready
Speaker 3: for next summer.
Speaker 3: And his buddy's like, wow, you're yours,
Speaker 3: really are the last family guy, aren't you?
Speaker 3: And then he sees his boss is like he said,
Speaker 3: his boss doesn't give a shit, it doesn't
Speaker 3: even know his name, calls him the wrong
Speaker 3: name and as he walks off he says to a merry
Speaker 3: Christmas, sir.
Speaker 3: And then he says to his all his sort of
Speaker 3: crony.
Speaker 3: She says Merry Christmas, merry, kiss my
Speaker 3: ass, kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your
Speaker 3: own ass.
Speaker 1: He says these are department stocks.
Speaker 1: He needs get in some a present and he
Speaker 1: thinks I might get in some underwear, some
Speaker 1: sexy underwear, and this is where he just
Speaker 1: gets like Like a very 80s 90s man.
Speaker 3: This, this girl working in the department
Speaker 3: store is Pretty special.
Speaker 3: She is hot, yes, she's right, she's hot as
Speaker 3: hell and I've always thought that.
Speaker 3: And yeah, he, she's flirting with him and
Speaker 3: he keeps saying he's keep, because she's
Speaker 3: very.
Speaker 3: She's dressed in a way that you really your
Speaker 3: eyes drawn to her cleavage and she's very
Speaker 3: pretty, blows in a browsing for something.
Speaker 1: It's been nippy outside, nipple.
Speaker 1: What am I saying?
Speaker 3: Why am I saying nipple, I don't know why
Speaker 3: I'm even saying that.
Speaker 3: And then she says some, can I take
Speaker 3: something out for you?
Speaker 3: And he just sort of has a breakdown, he's.
Speaker 1: It's quite like you know this little human,
Speaker 1: but he uses?
Speaker 3: he uses a pair of panties to dab his
Speaker 3: forehead.
Speaker 3: Yeah, doesn't he?
Speaker 3: It's so funny.
Speaker 1: Rust comes along says I see, you can't even
Speaker 1: see the line, can you?
Speaker 1: Rust, no dead.
Speaker 3: Well before that he's saying to her and
Speaker 3: these are for my wife, she's dead.
Speaker 3: He says she's dead.
Speaker 3: He's like well, she's not dead, but you
Speaker 3: know we're divorced, yes, we're really
Speaker 3: divorced.
Speaker 3: We're not together.
Speaker 3: So he's like what are you, what are you
Speaker 3: even saying, clark?
Speaker 3: You're just thumb because some hot girl has
Speaker 3: been your attention.
Speaker 3: You can't get your words out.
Speaker 3: Then she says to him the underwear I'm
Speaker 3: wearing right now is really high cut.
Speaker 3: Look if I lift up my skirt.
Speaker 3: And she shows her whole fine bit of buttock
Speaker 3: to him, says you can't even see the line,
Speaker 3: and this is a rusty turns up and says.
Speaker 3: And he says look, you can't see the line.
Speaker 3: Can you rest and realize this?
Speaker 3: He's been caught red-handed by his son
Speaker 3: staring at some girls legs.
Speaker 3: Hilarious, really, really funny scene.
Speaker 3: Really funny scene.
Speaker 3: But yes, then the in-laws, so Clark's
Speaker 3: parents and Ellen's parents, all arrive at
Speaker 3: the same time.
Speaker 3: Argument straight away.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, and and it shot really
Speaker 1: claustrophobic with all close-ups.
Speaker 3: They're all sort of shouting each other,
Speaker 3: but it's not all arguments.
Speaker 3: It's like they've all got news like I've
Speaker 3: got hemorrhoids Can you believe that I've
Speaker 3: got hemorrhoids?
Speaker 3: And then somebody else saying oh, I've got
Speaker 3: banyons in my feet.
Speaker 3: If I give you a shit, a dollar, would you
Speaker 3: rub my feet for me?
Speaker 3: And then I, you've grown, haven't you?
Speaker 3: And they're also hugging and kissing each
Speaker 3: other and it I've been here before where
Speaker 3: families, big families, meet up and it's
Speaker 3: just.
Speaker 3: You just think I need a break from this.
Speaker 3: It's too loud, it's too noisy.
Speaker 1: I went for the first time.
Speaker 1: It's really bad of me because I've been
Speaker 1: living in the same village as my auntie and
Speaker 1: uncle for two years and I've not gone
Speaker 1: around see him and I haven't seen them for
Speaker 1: fucking years.
Speaker 1: So my parents on Christmas Eve to see them
Speaker 1: and and it's my dad's older sister and it
Speaker 1: basically looked like my dad, shorter and
Speaker 1: fatter, with a black wig.
Speaker 1: Amazing it was incredible.
Speaker 1: I will show you the picture sometime.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely amazing.
Speaker 1: But I did a family thing and I was really
Speaker 1: proud of myself for doing a Christmas
Speaker 1: family thing and not seeing a family member
Speaker 1: for many years.
Speaker 1: So I kind of relate to this as well.
Speaker 3: My dad is one of seven and my mum was one
Speaker 3: of seven, so I've quite big family, lots of
Speaker 3: cousins.
Speaker 3: So particularly when we were younger,
Speaker 3: christmases were very, very busy like this.
Speaker 3: Like home alone, I was related to the home
Speaker 3: alone family dynamic because this there was
Speaker 3: always so many of us in the house.
Speaker 3: In fact the first time I watched home alone
Speaker 3: was with about six or seven of my cousins.
Speaker 3: We all watched it together as kids but I've
Speaker 3: lost sort of contact with them all over the
Speaker 3: years but reconnected recently with a few
Speaker 3: of them and I had the same thing with my
Speaker 3: dad's brother.
Speaker 3: He'll hadn't seen for a good 15 years.
Speaker 3: Him and his wife, my auntie, came around
Speaker 3: and they met the kids.
Speaker 3: So I was just staring at him thinking
Speaker 3: you're my dad, but you're bold and you've
Speaker 3: got a moustache.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's.
Speaker 3: The only difference is if my dad shaved his
Speaker 3: hair and grew a moustache and then when he
Speaker 3: left my my wife Alice was saying Fucking
Speaker 3: hell, your uncle is is literally just your
Speaker 3: dad with a moustache, isn't he?
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, he really is.
Speaker 3: It's funny when you see that, isn't it?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, rusty says sorry.
Speaker 3: Clark says Russ, let's go outside and put
Speaker 3: some lights on this house.
Speaker 3: Hell, yeah.
Speaker 3: So we get some funny moments now where he's
Speaker 3: slapstick.
Speaker 1: Nice ladder slapstick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's falling off of ladders.
Speaker 3: He's stapling his hands to things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's classic stuff.
Speaker 1: It's very nice when he really upsets Todd
Speaker 1: and Margot's stereo system.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's brilliant when he because he
Speaker 3: uh explain, explain it well, he slips off
Speaker 3: the ladder because he staples his glove to
Speaker 3: the.
Speaker 3: He's using a big stable gun to staple the
Speaker 3: lights to the gutter, but he slips off the
Speaker 3: ladder, grabs onto the gutter, rips the
Speaker 3: gutter off of the the sort of the side of
Speaker 3: the house which is full of ice.
Speaker 3: This then fires the ice javelin, as I've
Speaker 3: called it in my notes Such a velocity that
Speaker 3: it shoots across the road straight through
Speaker 3: the window of Todd and Margot's.
Speaker 3: Smash is the latest 1988 stereo system.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Which is hilarious because when they get
Speaker 3: home, it's a mystery the mystery is there's
Speaker 3: a hole in the window.
Speaker 3: Well, something must have destroyed the
Speaker 3: stereo Margot the stereo is destroyed and
Speaker 3: then there's a pool of water on the floor.
Speaker 1: I don't understand it.
Speaker 1: And where did this water come from?
Speaker 3: and this this is an urban legend that Are
Speaker 3: you doing?
Speaker 3: No, no, they found Someone's dog was found
Speaker 3: dead in the garden or in the house yeah, in
Speaker 3: the house.
Speaker 3: And there was a puddle of human piss next
Speaker 3: to it and a hole in the ceiling.
Speaker 3: And they realized that an aeroplane had
Speaker 3: flushed or discarded its toilet waste.
Speaker 3: I don't know if this is true, it's an urban
Speaker 3: legend, I could say.
Speaker 3: And apparently the urine froze yeah, I know
Speaker 3: the way down smash through the window, kill
Speaker 3: the dog and then unfroze and they tested it
Speaker 3: and it's like well, it's not dog piss, it's
Speaker 3: human piss, multiple human pisses, what?
Speaker 3: And they couldn't figure out for ages, and
Speaker 3: it's kind of dog and the human piss.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I don't know, I don't believe that
Speaker 3: that's a real thing, but yeah, it's a, it's
Speaker 3: fun and it's a fun thing and it's another
Speaker 3: moment for them Of something bad happened
Speaker 3: to them, because we don't like these
Speaker 3: yuppies, because they don't like our clarky,
Speaker 3: but it's funny, it's funny.
Speaker 1: He goes to turn the lights on everyone
Speaker 1: there.
Speaker 1: Let's do a drum beat.
Speaker 3: And he gives us, he does a speech, doesn't
Speaker 3: he?
Speaker 3: He says, um, he says something along the
Speaker 3: lines of I'm so grateful to have you all
Speaker 3: here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I dedicate this house to my
Speaker 3: entire family of griswolds, because that
Speaker 3: the lights on this house demonstrate my
Speaker 3: love and he does draw to the world, like
Speaker 3: you say, plugs it in what happens nothing,
Speaker 3: nothing happens.
Speaker 3: Uh, it is a check, all that.
Speaker 1: Is parent and also just like see what a
Speaker 1: waste of time this is kids.
Speaker 1: What a way I she says resources.
Speaker 3: I hate me for learning what a waste of
Speaker 3: resources this is.
Speaker 3: And, um, yeah.
Speaker 3: His daughter says he worked really hard,
Speaker 3: grandpa.
Speaker 3: And his grandpa says yeah, and so do
Speaker 3: washing machines.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what a bastard.
Speaker 1: Anyway, it doesn't work.
Speaker 1: They all go back in.
Speaker 1: He's kind of pissed off and so leave it,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, for fuck's sake.
Speaker 3: His son says really good, try dad, you did
Speaker 3: really well.
Speaker 3: And they can't figure he's, he's probably
Speaker 3: checked all the bulbs.
Speaker 1: It's very interesting on the front cover.
Speaker 1: I'll get over the blu-ray.
Speaker 1: That doesn't actually happen.
Speaker 3: No, it doesn't does it.
Speaker 1: I've always thought that, never liked that
Speaker 1: post, so no where, cherry chase on the
Speaker 1: front in a Santa costume and he's been
Speaker 1: electrocuted by the light bulbs which would
Speaker 1: imagine, unless it's a deleted scene, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but where'd you get the idea
Speaker 1: from?
Speaker 3: To me that looks more like um the poster
Speaker 3: for the Santa Claus with Tim Allen.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: It's not, it doesn't look, it's not even
Speaker 1: cherry chase.
Speaker 3: It's just, someone's just drawn that up and
Speaker 3: it doesn't look good.
Speaker 3: I've never liked that poster.
Speaker 3: No, um, yeah, it's all family supportive.
Speaker 3: We go back inside and the children have to
Speaker 3: sleep together.
Speaker 3: So Russ and his sister have to sleep in the
Speaker 3: same bed because all the grandparents are
Speaker 3: sleeping in their beds.
Speaker 3: Um, not great situation.
Speaker 3: And it's only gonna get worse when cousin
Speaker 3: Eddie turns up.
Speaker 3: Um, yeah, and in the morning he goes back
Speaker 3: up into the attic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because he's a great dad and he wants
Speaker 3: to hide the presents in the usual hiding
Speaker 3: spot.
Speaker 3: This is where he finds the Mother's Day
Speaker 3: gift that he bought for um Ellen many years
Speaker 3: ago from one of the kids.
Speaker 3: However, his mother-in-law locks him in the
Speaker 3: attic and they will go out for lunch.
Speaker 3: In fact, his father-in-law says well, I
Speaker 3: don't care about Clark, I gotta go out to
Speaker 3: lunch to take some Uh, to have something to
Speaker 3: eat, because I can't take my pain relief
Speaker 3: without eating.
Speaker 3: So they all go off and they leave him
Speaker 3: stranded in his pajamas in the attic, which
Speaker 3: obviously it's very snowy and it's very
Speaker 3: cold.
Speaker 3: Can we?
Speaker 3: get a little bit more slapstick here.
Speaker 1: Why.
Speaker 1: I guess he's trying to be this traditionist
Speaker 1: and that kind of explains it, but it's like
Speaker 1: who's gonna be looking for presents you
Speaker 1: mentalist?
Speaker 1: Why don't you just go put them under the
Speaker 1: tree?
Speaker 3: He just wants to keep it a nice surprise.
Speaker 1: That is trying to do.
Speaker 1: I think showing that old present though
Speaker 1: he'd forgotten which is up there, is
Speaker 1: obviously showing that it's a tradition
Speaker 1: that he does on it and he just wants to
Speaker 1: keep that.
Speaker 1: But it's just like there's no surprise.
Speaker 1: Just put them in the fucking under the tree.
Speaker 3: Well, my theory is this is that every time
Speaker 3: he questions whether he's doing the right
Speaker 3: thing, taking all these people in and
Speaker 3: trying to have this big family Christmas
Speaker 3: excuse me he gets a life lesson given to
Speaker 3: him from the universe.
Speaker 3: Now the life lesson here is he's locked in
Speaker 3: the attic, he goes through loads of old
Speaker 3: boxes and obviously he wraps himself up in
Speaker 3: old city clothes to keep warm.
Speaker 3: But he also finds all the old film footage
Speaker 3: Christmas 1955.
Speaker 3: He starts crying when he reminds himself of
Speaker 3: the fun Christmas this is had with his mum
Speaker 3: and his dad and his aunties and the kids
Speaker 3: when they were younger.
Speaker 3: And this is the universe saying look, just
Speaker 3: stop and take a moment and remember how
Speaker 3: great Christmas can be with the family.
Speaker 3: You know, I know this seems quite
Speaker 3: pressurised, but look, and so he starts
Speaker 3: crying because he remembers, because he's
Speaker 3: such a good guy and such a family man.
Speaker 3: And I think that's what my theory is is
Speaker 3: that you know he's reminded here at this
Speaker 3: point.
Speaker 3: So he's got a new lease of life.
Speaker 1: I think it's a reason to show that.
Speaker 1: So it's a good set up for that, I suppose.
Speaker 1: But it's just like, why are you putting a
Speaker 1: hide them in a loft?
Speaker 1: But anyway anyway, it does help with some
Speaker 1: slapstick, with him falling down the loft,
Speaker 1: but they come back.
Speaker 3: Well, the comedy timing is he sat there
Speaker 3: crying watching this and then all of a
Speaker 3: sudden his wife opens the attic and he sat
Speaker 3: on the loft hatch and falls out.
Speaker 3: So it's great comic timing.
Speaker 1: It's quite a cheesy montage when he's
Speaker 1: looking at the footage and stuff.
Speaker 1: That's just me now, but you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I love it.
Speaker 3: I know you say that's the difference
Speaker 3: between you and me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, it's pretty fucking cheesy
Speaker 1: but yeah, but yeah, I've written here.
Speaker 3: it inspires him to try and be better and
Speaker 3: try and be even nicer to his family, even
Speaker 3: though he's already fucking nice enough, if
Speaker 3: you ask me.
Speaker 1: He tries his lights again that evening and
Speaker 1: they come on, but then they go off and then
Speaker 1: they come on.
Speaker 3: And he's getting more and more frustrated
Speaker 3: here because he can't figure out why they,
Speaker 3: and the reason being is that one of his
Speaker 3: in-laws keeps going in the attic and
Speaker 3: whenever she turns the light on it that
Speaker 3: ridiculous adapters all plugged up like a
Speaker 3: pyramid.
Speaker 3: It's about a hundred adapters plugged into
Speaker 3: one extension.
Speaker 1: It's like that one spark and you're gone.
Speaker 3: And we get a fun moment now where, when it
Speaker 3: does turn on, the floodlights come on and
Speaker 3: blind his neighbours who are in the middle
Speaker 3: of a back to get down to some saucy
Speaker 3: sexiness.
Speaker 3: But they then smash their bottle of wine
Speaker 3: all over the floor.
Speaker 3: Then the lights go off, so they're blinded.
Speaker 3: Then they come back on and he falls down
Speaker 3: the stairs.
Speaker 3: Basically they destroy their house because
Speaker 3: they're blinded by Chevy Chase's
Speaker 3: floodlights.
Speaker 1: Clark, clark, just being Clark somehow
Speaker 1: destroys their life pretty much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just being Clark.
Speaker 1: Just being Clark and they just happen to
Speaker 1: not like him.
Speaker 1: So that's what I think the message there is
Speaker 1: don't dislike your neighbour because
Speaker 1: accidentally he will ruin your life.
Speaker 3: There's a very John Hughes moment here
Speaker 3: where he just before the lights come on
Speaker 3: properly because his wife saves the day,
Speaker 3: ellen is the one who figures out his switch,
Speaker 3: but just before that he kicks the shit out
Speaker 3: of a big model, Santa and reindeer.
Speaker 1: He punched reindeer and broke his small
Speaker 1: finger but they kept filming.
Speaker 3: But this also really reminds me of
Speaker 3: something that Steve Martin would do in
Speaker 3: plane tracers and all sorts of videos where
Speaker 3: he loses his shit.
Speaker 3: It's a very John Hughes-type thing and it's
Speaker 3: really funny.
Speaker 3: But then, like we say, ellen saves the day,
Speaker 3: she figures it out, she turns it on, he
Speaker 3: starts hugging them all, one by one, each
Speaker 3: family member Mum, dad, can I call you dad,
Speaker 3: even though you're my father-in-law?
Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden he calls an Eddie
Speaker 3: and he doesn't notice it initially and he
Speaker 3: gives him a hug, and then he looks at him
Speaker 3: and goes cousin Eddie, and he's like Clark.
Speaker 1: Looks great Clark.
Speaker 3: Love it and he thinks, what the fuck?
Speaker 3: And then you realise cousin Eddie's there
Speaker 3: with his wife.
Speaker 1: And actually just stands there for a while
Speaker 1: going, eddie, eddie.
Speaker 3: He can't quite believe it.
Speaker 1: And that's his brother-in-law, and Eddie is
Speaker 1: living on the fringe.
Speaker 3: Well, he's not his brother-in-law, he's his
Speaker 3: cousin, isn't he or cousin-in-law or
Speaker 3: something?
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, this is it actually.
Speaker 1: Can you work this out for me then?
Speaker 3: Well, he says well, he's cousin Eddie, so
Speaker 3: I'm guessing he's just his cousin.
Speaker 3: I don't really know.
Speaker 1: Because art is.
Speaker 3: It's father-in-law yeah it's father-in-law.
Speaker 1: So Beverly, the angel's wife, Ellen's mum
Speaker 1: is, so that's Ellen's brother.
Speaker 3: But why is he called cousin Eddie?
Speaker 3: Maybe he should be uncle Eddie, I don't
Speaker 3: know.
Speaker 1: I've never really got that.
Speaker 1: I know it's kind of confusing why he's
Speaker 1: cousin Eddie.
Speaker 3: He's got a great big Rottweiler as well,
Speaker 3: called Snots.
Speaker 3: We call him Snats because he's got a
Speaker 3: problem with the sinuses.
Speaker 3: That's all he does.
Speaker 3: And then he says roll over.
Speaker 3: And you let your uncle Clark stroke your
Speaker 3: belly.
Speaker 3: And he says word of warning, if he starts
Speaker 3: going at your leg, just let him finish.
Speaker 3: All right, just let him finish.
Speaker 1: The common tree for this movie is Randy
Speaker 1: Quaid.
Speaker 1: I wanted to watch it beforehand, but the
Speaker 1: common tree is Randy Quaid.
Speaker 1: Why have they got so many people?
Speaker 1: Randy Quaid, beverly D'Angelo, rusty and
Speaker 1: then Randy Quaid's wife.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but they do everything together Then
Speaker 3: director and then the producer.
Speaker 1: So many people who does what all together?
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
Speaker 3: Heyman is wife in real life.
Speaker 3: They do everything together.
Speaker 3: They're attached to the hip.
Speaker 1: Oh what Randy Quaid's wife.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, that's why she would have been
Speaker 3: oh sorry, not his real life wife, the woman
Speaker 3: that plays his wife in this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh, sorry, I mis-invited you.
Speaker 1: It just seems a lot of people work.
Speaker 3: And to paint the picture as well Randy, a
Speaker 3: cousin of Eddie, his wife and two children
Speaker 3: and giant Rottweiler.
Speaker 3: They are living in an RV, a recreational
Speaker 3: vehicle that is huge and is parked on
Speaker 3: Clark's driveway.
Speaker 3: It's a real eyesore.
Speaker 3: And he says, clark, if it's all the same
Speaker 3: for you, me and my wife would like to stay
Speaker 3: in the RV because you know it's been a long
Speaker 3: drive and we've got some catching up to do
Speaker 3: in the bedroom, but if you could just have
Speaker 3: the two kids in with you.
Speaker 3: And then he says to his wife don't forget
Speaker 3: the rubber sheets and the gerbils, do you
Speaker 3: think?
Speaker 3: Oh boy.
Speaker 1: I never hear.
Speaker 1: I mean never knew.
Speaker 1: He said gerbils bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the rubber sheets and the gerbils.
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's kidding, but it's a dark
Speaker 1: sense of humour.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say that to Sarah.
Speaker 3: Well, one of my favourite scenes is next,
Speaker 3: where cousin Eddie and Clark are drinking
Speaker 3: eggnog together and he's sort of they're
Speaker 3: chatting away.
Speaker 3: Clark seems very annoyed.
Speaker 1: Can we just take a moment to appreciate
Speaker 1: cousin Eddie's a sweater?
Speaker 3: combo.
Speaker 3: Oh man, he's got like this roll neck.
Speaker 1: He's got a turtle neck, a black turtle
Speaker 1: around his neck, so it goes on.
Speaker 1: But it's not a turtle neck, which is a long
Speaker 1: sleeve top underneath a short sleeve top or
Speaker 1: whatever, or sweater, it's just a rectangle
Speaker 1: going down the stops.
Speaker 1: It's almost like a church thing, collar
Speaker 1: piece and he's got this white top on top,
Speaker 1: which is all creamy coloured tops.
Speaker 1: And he's sort of walking around
Speaker 1: accidentally breaking things in Clark's
Speaker 1: house, you know drink as much as he can,
Speaker 1: and he's never been to the house before, so
Speaker 1: he's very excited to be there.
Speaker 3: And he says oh, I'm really excited that
Speaker 3: we're going to be staying here for a whole
Speaker 3: month as well.
Speaker 1: He spits his eggnog out to show he chased
Speaker 1: us because he's not happy about that.
Speaker 3: And he says well, let me know if there's
Speaker 3: anything else I can do for you, eddie, you
Speaker 3: know, maybe drive you out into the middle
Speaker 3: of nowhere and leave you for dead One of my
Speaker 3: favourite lines.
Speaker 3: He just kind of half says it under his
Speaker 3: breath because Eddie's so dumb he doesn't
Speaker 3: really catch it.
Speaker 3: No, no, it's okay, clark, you're doing
Speaker 3: enough as it is.
Speaker 3: Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 1: Someone I know I do this to because, for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, they have a selective
Speaker 1: hearing, like literally, say something, you
Speaker 1: go to respond.
Speaker 3: I think I know who this is.
Speaker 1: And they just carry on talking and you're
Speaker 1: like what?
Speaker 1: So I will then carry on saying stuff and
Speaker 1: I'll say you fucking don't even listen to
Speaker 1: me, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 1: I'll just carry on going and they won't
Speaker 1: take any of it in.
Speaker 1: It's incredible.
Speaker 3: Well, it's legend time Gav.
Speaker 1: It is legend time, one of my favourite
Speaker 1: highlights as a child in this movie.
Speaker 3: So Clark works for a company that makes
Speaker 3: food products and one of the products
Speaker 3: they've made is this really good grease or
Speaker 3: oil for your pan for cooking, and he
Speaker 3: basically smothers this sort of dustbin lid,
Speaker 3: metal dustbin lid in it Because he says
Speaker 3: this will make it go 100 times faster, and
Speaker 3: his kids are all excited.
Speaker 3: Everyone's like, wow, you're going to go
Speaker 3: really fast, eddie.
Speaker 3: And he's sorry Clark, and he says, yeah,
Speaker 3: yeah, you watched me, I'll go first to make
Speaker 3: sure it's okay.
Speaker 1: Well, well, well, randy doesn't want to
Speaker 1: because he's got a metal plate in his head,
Speaker 1: but the metal plate had a problem not long
Speaker 1: ago as an accident and that changed metal
Speaker 1: plate in this other stuff, which is a
Speaker 1: little bit softer, and if you really push
Speaker 1: in there, push it, it can feel my brain.
Speaker 3: Have a little push.
Speaker 3: Well, he says it's because basically
Speaker 3: whenever my wife would use the microwave
Speaker 3: I'd pass out and piss myself, so we had to
Speaker 3: replace the metal plates.
Speaker 3: It wasn't very good really, and it's like
Speaker 3: wow, okay.
Speaker 3: And also earlier, his daughter.
Speaker 3: He says this is my daughter.
Speaker 3: You remember her?
Speaker 3: Look at her eyes.
Speaker 3: Her eyes aren't crossed anymore.
Speaker 3: So funny she fell down a well.
Speaker 3: Her eyes got crossed.
Speaker 3: She got kicked in the head by a mule.
Speaker 3: It uncrossed her eyes.
Speaker 3: So this family are just a bunch of kids.
Speaker 1: It kind of gives you an impression.
Speaker 1: I remember years ago as a younger person
Speaker 1: just like imagining these dudes living out
Speaker 1: in nowhere and just doing like running
Speaker 1: around playing with snakes for the fun to
Speaker 1: do.
Speaker 3: Getting kicked in the head by a donkey Just
Speaker 3: you know, and just random stuff, yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, he climbs onto this greased up,
Speaker 3: dust-binded sledge and he says right, I
Speaker 3: think he says like surfs up, dude, catch
Speaker 3: you on the flipside.
Speaker 3: He tries to be all cool and say this like
Speaker 3: surf, dude talk.
Speaker 3: And then we get this ridiculous sort of
Speaker 3: special effect of him just a lightning
Speaker 3: flying down at light speed and there's like
Speaker 3: fire behind him, like back to the future
Speaker 3: car, and he ends up sort of crashing into a
Speaker 3: bin outside the Walmart.
Speaker 3: And yeah, it's just another chance just to
Speaker 3: show a silly scene.
Speaker 3: Like I said, it's a series of sketches.
Speaker 3: Not a lot comes from it really.
Speaker 1: It is what it is.
Speaker 1: It's kind of fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is fun.
Speaker 3: Like you said, there's a scene that
Speaker 3: everybody likes in this.
Speaker 3: Really, there's always.
Speaker 3: You know, everyone's got their favorite
Speaker 3: scene Cut to nighttime and he's dreaming
Speaker 3: about his bonus.
Speaker 3: He's stood in the kitchen on his own the
Speaker 3: rest of the family, obviously and he's
Speaker 3: looking out the window, looking at the
Speaker 3: garden, imagining what it'll be like when
Speaker 3: that pool's there, and he's imagining all
Speaker 3: of his family and their swimming outfits.
Speaker 3: They're all really happy with him.
Speaker 3: He's the hero because he's bought a
Speaker 3: swimming pool.
Speaker 3: And then his fantasy goes a little
Speaker 3: different, doesn't it Gav?
Speaker 1: Well, he's watching all his family.
Speaker 1: Then he says cousin Eddie, he's standing
Speaker 1: over his beer and vest tucked into his but
Speaker 1: she's mug-less.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's swimming trunks and just waving
Speaker 3: to him, and then it just changes to the
Speaker 3: lady in the laundry or the department store
Speaker 3: and she starts stripping off for him and
Speaker 3: he's watching up against the kitchen window,
Speaker 3: really pushed up against the window, and
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden his little knee spooks
Speaker 3: in and interrupts him.
Speaker 1: I think he's full of Christmas because he's
Speaker 1: in a red dressing gown.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she starts talking to him about
Speaker 3: Santa and this is where it's revealed that
Speaker 3: actually cousin Eddie and his family are in
Speaker 3: a really bad time.
Speaker 1: And that's why they're there.
Speaker 3: They've got no money.
Speaker 3: I don't even think we've got money for
Speaker 3: presents.
Speaker 3: I was told that there's no Father Christmas,
Speaker 3: there's no Santa Claus.
Speaker 3: But is that true?
Speaker 3: Uncle Clarkney says, look, if you believe
Speaker 3: in something and it will happen, I promise
Speaker 3: you, you guys are going to have a great.
Speaker 3: So again, life's got him down a bit, but it
Speaker 3: gets reminded by this little girl that
Speaker 3: there is a magic to Christmas and he can
Speaker 3: make her a Christmas.
Speaker 3: If he helps him, his cousin Eddie and his
Speaker 3: wife and kids out, it's going to make him
Speaker 3: feel better about things.
Speaker 3: So he thinks, right, ok, I'm going to help
Speaker 3: these guys out, because he's too, you know,
Speaker 3: he's too manly to sort of tell me he needs
Speaker 3: help perhaps, so I'm going to just tell him
Speaker 3: I'm going to help him.
Speaker 1: Shit to his fool.
Speaker 3: Well, is that the next bit?
Speaker 3: Yeah, next morning it is the next bit.
Speaker 3: Oh, I was going to say the bit where the
Speaker 3: little girl says about He'll be shitting
Speaker 3: rocks and shitting bricks and he says, oh,
Speaker 3: you shouldn't say that.
Speaker 3: She says, sorry, uncle Clark, he'll be
Speaker 3: shitting rocks.
Speaker 3: She just changes it slowly.
Speaker 3: But yes, the next morning, the yuppies.
Speaker 3: The yuppie, one of the yuppies is leaving
Speaker 3: for a jog and he smells something in the
Speaker 3: air.
Speaker 3: Classic scene.
Speaker 3: Everyone knows this.
Speaker 3: It's the most quieted line from this whole
Speaker 3: film.
Speaker 3: What's he doing?
Speaker 3: I've described it.
Speaker 1: Cousin Eddie's there in his underwear.
Speaker 1: With a beer, a hat and a cigar and a big
Speaker 1: old pipe in his slippers, big old pipe
Speaker 1: emptying his waste, his chemical waste
Speaker 1: toilet, just going all over the place and
Speaker 1: he's smoking a cigar, just doing it like
Speaker 1: it's just kind of having everybody does it,
Speaker 1: and he says shit, it was full.
Speaker 1: Just looks into the neighbors hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: shit, it was full.
Speaker 3: And he's burping away, scratching his ass,
Speaker 3: cigar.
Speaker 3: Somebody says to him you know that stuff's
Speaker 3: flammable, he shouldn't really do that.
Speaker 3: Well, that will come back later on, as we
Speaker 3: expect in a John Hughes film.
Speaker 3: And they go shopping and in the shop Cart
Speaker 3: basically says look, what's been going on
Speaker 3: with you, eddie.
Speaker 3: And this is where Eddie says all right,
Speaker 3: I'll tell you the truth.
Speaker 3: It's been a really rough year.
Speaker 3: We live in the van.
Speaker 3: We don't have a house anymore.
Speaker 3: I haven't even got any money to buy my kids
Speaker 3: presents.
Speaker 3: I don't really know what to do.
Speaker 3: I've kind of come to you really for help,
Speaker 3: but I haven't really been able to ask for
Speaker 3: it.
Speaker 1: But we do know that for seven years he
Speaker 1: hasn't had a job because he's been waiting
Speaker 1: for a managerial position.
Speaker 3: He's been waiting for a management position.
Speaker 1: It's just taking any hand.
Speaker 1: So basically, fuck him, get a job.
Speaker 3: Also, he's got two older children.
Speaker 3: One of them is in a rehab and I can't
Speaker 3: remember what the other one's doing there,
Speaker 3: but they're both got sad stories.
Speaker 3: So their family's really been through the
Speaker 3: ringer.
Speaker 3: Get a job.
Speaker 3: So he says.
Speaker 3: He says similar, okay, I'll tell you what
Speaker 3: I'll do.
Speaker 3: I'd like the opportunity to give you a
Speaker 3: Christmas and I want to get your kids some
Speaker 3: presents.
Speaker 3: And for a couple of seconds Eddie says oh,
Speaker 3: clark, I can't, I can't do that.
Speaker 3: And then he pulls out a giant list out of
Speaker 3: his pocket and says wow, well, here's a
Speaker 3: list of all the things that we need and I'd
Speaker 3: like to get this from my wife.
Speaker 3: And also I'd like to get you something,
Speaker 3: clark, if I could, something really special.
Speaker 3: And Clark's thinking for fuck's sake, why
Speaker 3: did I say I'd help him?
Speaker 3: But he's a good guy, gav, he's a good guy.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I understand doing it for the kids now, but
Speaker 1: I'd still be like, why don't you go a
Speaker 1: fucking job?
Speaker 1: That would be my conversation.
Speaker 3: Don't worry about managerial positions for
Speaker 3: me.
Speaker 1: Just get a fucking job.
Speaker 1: If you're flipping burgers, you're still
Speaker 1: fucking working.
Speaker 3: If you can empty a chemical waste toilet,
Speaker 3: you can do anything.
Speaker 3: While smoking a cigar and drinking a beer,
Speaker 3: you can do anything.
Speaker 3: Well, it's December 24th and crazy Auntie
Speaker 3: and Uncle arrive.
Speaker 3: Uncle Louis, Uncle Louis, is it?
Speaker 1: Louis, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Auntie, the crazy old, deaf
Speaker 3: Auntie, and they're ancient, they're like
Speaker 3: 90 years old.
Speaker 1: In real life she's 82 and he was 61.
Speaker 3: And in real life she's very, very famous
Speaker 3: for being the voice of Betty Boop in the
Speaker 3: cartoon.
Speaker 1: Betty Boop.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's not singing.
Speaker 3: No, that's Betty Boop, the rapper, betty
Speaker 3: Boop, the cartoon, as in the boo boo, boo,
Speaker 3: boo boo, that one, you know the one I mean.
Speaker 1: I know, I thought they were both connected.
Speaker 3: I think Betty Boop named herself after
Speaker 3: Betty Boop with a P.
Speaker 3: But Betty Boop is a rapper.
Speaker 3: I was well into her in the 90s.
Speaker 3: Betty Boop, she's cool man.
Speaker 1: I only know one song.
Speaker 3: She had.
Speaker 3: I've got her album on cassette in the
Speaker 3: kitchen.
Speaker 3: Fair enough, Just there you go.
Speaker 3: You didn't expect that on a Christmas
Speaker 3: episode, did you?
Speaker 1: Talking about Betty Boop cassette album.
Speaker 1: You have no.
Speaker 3: So yeah, they're crazy, they're deaf.
Speaker 3: He smokes a lot of Stoge's, she keeps
Speaker 3: farting and there's a lot of comedy mishaps
Speaker 3: around those two.
Speaker 3: He accidentally pulls Uncle Lewis's wig off.
Speaker 1: She's basically giving him a Christmas
Speaker 1: present and it's her cat wraps up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how does he get the cat?
Speaker 1: in her books.
Speaker 3: She's meow.
Speaker 3: This presents Meow in.
Speaker 3: Basically, what Auntie does is she hasn't
Speaker 3: got much money, so she just picks things
Speaker 3: from around the house from up somewhere.
Speaker 3: But she gets confused and I think she's
Speaker 3: wrapped her cat up.
Speaker 3: And at this point Eddie comes in and goes
Speaker 3: ah Clark, this one's leaking and it's green.
Speaker 3: And they're like what, why is green?
Speaker 3: And he just sticks his finger in whatever.
Speaker 3: This is Eddie, and he just goes.
Speaker 1: no, he doesn't Beverly Ellen sticks her
Speaker 1: finger in and he sucks her finger.
Speaker 3: That's right, Like a lot and he goes climb.
Speaker 3: It must be a key like pie.
Speaker 1: Imagine that, like just picking up stuff
Speaker 1: around your house and wrapping it up and
Speaker 1: giving it to people, but forgetting what's
Speaker 1: what, and then just giving out people.
Speaker 3: But I think the worst thing here is that
Speaker 3: your cousin Eddie sucks your wife's finger
Speaker 3: in front of you.
Speaker 1: It isn't good.
Speaker 3: But then it's Eddie.
Speaker 3: You know, when you've got Eddie in the
Speaker 3: house, you can just expect anything to
Speaker 3: happen, really.
Speaker 3: So it's dinner time, it's turkey time, gav
Speaker 3: Joy old turkey.
Speaker 3: And again he's like with a tree, like with
Speaker 3: the lights.
Speaker 3: He's got an announcement.
Speaker 1: He says you know, I always remember
Speaker 1: watching this and being like what?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 1: You made a Christmas dinner on Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve.
Speaker 1: What's what Making tomorrow, a Christmas
Speaker 1: dinner?
Speaker 1: Like what?
Speaker 1: So you just gonna let your wife's just
Speaker 1: fucking spend all day in the kitchen?
Speaker 3: Maybe they'll do Well, maybe they'll make
Speaker 3: Bubbling Squeak on Christmas Day.
Speaker 3: So he gives his big speech about the turkey
Speaker 3: and he says but because this is auntie's
Speaker 3: 80th birthday, a very special one, I'd like
Speaker 3: you to say grace.
Speaker 3: And she goes Grace, no, grace died 25 years
Speaker 3: ago.
Speaker 3: No, she wants you the blessing Old cut old
Speaker 3: shenanigans.
Speaker 3: And so she then says I pledge allegiance to
Speaker 3: the flag of the United States of America
Speaker 3: because she doesn't know what's going on,
Speaker 3: because I know he stands up and salutes and
Speaker 3: eventually we cut the turkey.
Speaker 3: Gav describe what happens when he puts the
Speaker 3: knife into the turkey.
Speaker 1: It just all breaks open.
Speaker 1: It's nothing, it's just dried up inside the
Speaker 1: fridge.
Speaker 1: That was great.
Speaker 1: It's just how did they do that.
Speaker 3: I don't know, it's a special effect, isn't
Speaker 3: it?
Speaker 1: But it's not that I was like how would you
Speaker 1: cook something in it?
Speaker 3: She cooked it out for too long.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the outside was fresh, though
Speaker 1: that's the thing we do have.
Speaker 1: The outside in Klingville was I Do.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: But again he's so optimistic he says no, no,
Speaker 3: no, I'm sure this will be fine, it's just a
Speaker 3: little dry, that's all.
Speaker 3: And then he goes oh, I can see the heart.
Speaker 3: And then it cuts to them or really try and
Speaker 3: chew and all you can hear is crunching and
Speaker 3: chewing and they're all drinking water and
Speaker 3: pouring gravy over it, apart from Eddie
Speaker 3: who's like eating all the potatoes and
Speaker 3: everything he can, because it's just
Speaker 3: because of Eddie.
Speaker 3: And yeah, the turkey is absolutely
Speaker 3: disgusting.
Speaker 3: I think they find a cat hair in it as well,
Speaker 3: don't they?
Speaker 3: Or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's awful.
Speaker 3: And talking to the cat, we do see the cat
Speaker 3: now being attracted to the tree, playing
Speaker 3: with the ball balls, and then it grabs the
Speaker 3: fairy lights out of the tree.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It takes them under a chair to play with
Speaker 3: them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So we'll come back to that in just a moment.
Speaker 3: Love this moment Again.
Speaker 3: Clark trying his best to help cousin
Speaker 3: Eddie's kids.
Speaker 3: He says oh guys, I just heard an
Speaker 3: announcement on the news that a pilot
Speaker 3: flying in from New York City just spotted
Speaker 3: Santa flying over in his sleigh.
Speaker 3: And they all go, wow.
Speaker 3: And what does cousin Eddie say?
Speaker 1: Are you really real Clark?
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 3: Clark, I really believe that.
Speaker 3: So sweet that he tries to do that.
Speaker 3: And then we get the dog underneath the
Speaker 3: table.
Speaker 3: The whole table starts by breaking.
Speaker 1: He says is there?
Speaker 1: He's not choking up stuff that he's been
Speaker 1: eating.
Speaker 1: He's been rummaging through the bins in the
Speaker 1: kitchen.
Speaker 3: He says he's just yakking on a bone.
Speaker 3: Then you hear a bleh and he goes there,
Speaker 3: he's got it up.
Speaker 3: So the dog threw it up on the table.
Speaker 3: He smashed the trash can in the kitchen so
Speaker 3: there's food everywhere.
Speaker 3: And while they're cleaning that up, uncle
Speaker 3: Lewis says if you're not doing anything
Speaker 3: productive, could you get me one of my
Speaker 3: stovies?
Speaker 3: So they give him his cigar and he likes it
Speaker 3: near the tree and the whole tree goes up.
Speaker 3: He doesn't even notice he's done it.
Speaker 1: The cat's been electrocuted as well.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I forgot where that cat has been
Speaker 3: electrocuted.
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, uncle Lewis turns
Speaker 3: around and his back's on fire.
Speaker 3: So they jump on him, stop, drop and roll
Speaker 3: him with a rug and put him out.
Speaker 3: And then they realise what's that smell.
Speaker 3: They pull the armchair away and there's
Speaker 3: what used to be a cat underneath the
Speaker 3: armchair.
Speaker 3: That's just completely fried.
Speaker 3: And the next shot is just cousin Eddie and
Speaker 3: Clark taking this burn armchair outside.
Speaker 1: And Clark and Eddie saying, if you don't
Speaker 1: mind, clark, I think I could probably clean
Speaker 1: this up a little bit.
Speaker 1: Actually.
Speaker 3: Do you want me to ask him how much?
Speaker 3: It was brand new?
Speaker 3: I think I can refurbish it for you, but he
Speaker 3: wants it for himself, really, doesn't he?
Speaker 3: Poor old Clark, it's not going right and
Speaker 3: you can see now the mental breakdown is
Speaker 3: starting to happen now.
Speaker 3: It's just starting to happen ever so
Speaker 3: slightly.
Speaker 3: He gets a delivery from work now, because
Speaker 3: he's found out that all his colleagues have
Speaker 3: already had their deliveries.
Speaker 3: Where's my check?
Speaker 3: And this guy turns up and says look, I'm
Speaker 3: really sorry, I was supposed to deliver
Speaker 3: this to you yesterday, but the envelope
Speaker 3: slipped down the back of the seat.
Speaker 3: But here it is and Clark thinks right, this
Speaker 3: is my chance.
Speaker 3: It's all falling apart, the cat's dead, the
Speaker 3: tree's gone, but I'm going to tell my
Speaker 3: family about this one before.
Speaker 3: And he says everybody, this envelope
Speaker 3: contains the check, my bonus check, and I
Speaker 3: wasn't going to tell any of you this till
Speaker 3: tomorrow, but I'm going to buy some in Paul,
Speaker 3: I've already put the money down for a
Speaker 3: deposit.
Speaker 3: And they're all like wow, this is
Speaker 3: incredible.
Speaker 3: Mums Like Clark, you're the best, I love
Speaker 3: you.
Speaker 3: And he says and I'll tell you what, if
Speaker 3: there's enough money left over, I'll fly
Speaker 3: you all out here in the summer and we'll
Speaker 3: have a great time.
Speaker 3: And they're like oh wow, this is amazing.
Speaker 3: He opens the envelope and it's a year
Speaker 3: subscription to a jam or a jelly as they
Speaker 3: call it in the US of the month club.
Speaker 3: So basically, you're getting a jar of jam
Speaker 3: if you're in the UK every month for a year.
Speaker 3: Wow, and the only person who thinks it's
Speaker 3: amazing is Eddie.
Speaker 3: He's like that is the gift that keeps on
Speaker 3: giving it.
Speaker 1: keeps on giving Clark.
Speaker 3: But he is guided because that was going to
Speaker 3: be the swimming pool.
Speaker 3: What can he do?
Speaker 3: No bonus.
Speaker 3: So he starts losing it.
Speaker 3: He starts necking eggnog now and he gives a
Speaker 3: big speech.
Speaker 3: Now he says what do?
Speaker 3: You know what I really want?
Speaker 3: I want my boss right here with a big red
Speaker 3: bow on him, so I can tell him what an
Speaker 3: asshole he is.
Speaker 3: And he calls him, he starts swearing, he
Speaker 3: says everything under the sun.
Speaker 1: Apparently, the other actors had signs
Speaker 1: around the necks with just words on
Speaker 1: swearing words.
Speaker 1: So if you watch him, he's looking up,
Speaker 1: looking, in case you look up at words.
Speaker 3: Amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he loses it and the family you know,
Speaker 3: upset with him.
Speaker 3: Cousin Eddie drives off in his RV.
Speaker 3: We don't understand why.
Speaker 3: Initially Clark goes out and says I'm going
Speaker 3: to get it.
Speaker 3: This is it.
Speaker 3: Now the mental breakdown has started.
Speaker 3: He gets his chainsaw, he cuts down just a
Speaker 3: random tree in the front yard and brings it
Speaker 3: inside.
Speaker 3: It's why it's like honey, are you okay?
Speaker 3: He's like I'm fine.
Speaker 3: It goes on as he's walking across the
Speaker 3: landing.
Speaker 3: The top of the banister is a bit loose.
Speaker 3: Just cut us off with the chainsaw.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1: Though this is where he has a mental
Speaker 1: breakdown and unfortunately, as much as I
Speaker 1: like to find it funny, now looking at it
Speaker 1: I'm like oh God, because I've had a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks go off.
Speaker 1: Oh God, I was having a little one and it's
Speaker 1: not the nicest of feelings, gonna tell you.
Speaker 1: So you watch it now looking at that like
Speaker 1: that's like oh God, that's actually kind of
Speaker 1: dark.
Speaker 1: Next time watching, we're like oh God, he's
Speaker 1: having a mental breakdown.
Speaker 1: It's not the fun.
Speaker 3: That's not a fun thing.
Speaker 3: Then they realized that there's a squirrel
Speaker 3: in the tree.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just to add to the commotion.
Speaker 3: And he says get my hammer.
Speaker 1: Well, when he cuts it down, todd and Margot,
Speaker 1: get us.
Speaker 1: I said, do you?
Speaker 1: Think we should have got a Christmas tree
Speaker 1: this year, I don't know, they're a bit
Speaker 1: cheesy and corny, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: through the window just comes the end of
Speaker 1: the tree.
Speaker 3: He says where would we even get a tree?
Speaker 1: This is our own Christmas Eve.
Speaker 1: And a tree comes through the window.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so he's destroying their Christmas
Speaker 3: again.
Speaker 3: He gets his, he wants his hammer.
Speaker 3: Great scene with the squirrels on his back.
Speaker 3: When he turns around and says where is it?
Speaker 3: I think he might have left, but it's on his
Speaker 3: back Chases them around the house a bit.
Speaker 3: The dog runs around with them a bit.
Speaker 3: It's all very slapstick, but it's fantastic
Speaker 3: stuff.
Speaker 3: And then the dog chases the squirrel, the
Speaker 3: woman Yuppie, what's her name?
Speaker 3: Margot, margot.
Speaker 3: Margot says to Todd, march on over there
Speaker 3: and punch him in his face.
Speaker 1: He's like I can't just go over, you're not
Speaker 1: man enough to do it, and I will.
Speaker 1: And she stomps on over there and bangs the
Speaker 1: door, but she doesn't know there's a rock,
Speaker 1: wiler, I've chased the squirrel around the
Speaker 1: house inside, so she gets her face full of
Speaker 1: squirrel.
Speaker 3: And then a fucking face full of wiler.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, the weight of those dudes,
Speaker 1: she goes back to to Todd and he's.
Speaker 3: he's such a chicken shit because he's let
Speaker 3: her go over there and she goes back.
Speaker 3: All her clothes are ripped, she's got
Speaker 3: bruises and cuts.
Speaker 3: She fucking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what happens to you?
Speaker 3: So she knocks him out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, good, good for her.
Speaker 3: We get a second big round here now because
Speaker 3: they're planning on leaving.
Speaker 3: And he says where do you think you're going?
Speaker 3: Nobody's leaving, nobody's walking out on
Speaker 3: this fun, old fashioned family Christmas.
Speaker 3: We're all in this together.
Speaker 3: He says this is a full blown four alarm
Speaker 3: holiday emergency.
Speaker 3: And he's like we are saying to get this
Speaker 3: down, gives him a bit of a pep talk.
Speaker 3: And he says look, you're a great dad and
Speaker 3: you're better than this.
Speaker 3: Everybody's a bit upset with you because
Speaker 3: you've been shouting at everyone.
Speaker 3: He like brings him back down to earth.
Speaker 3: He says you know we need to.
Speaker 3: It's fine, you know.
Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden he says that to
Speaker 3: his he reads the night before Christmas,
Speaker 3: doesn't he?
Speaker 3: He says, all right, let's read this.
Speaker 3: So they all sit around it's a cute moment.
Speaker 3: It was the night before Christmas and all
Speaker 3: through the house and he starts reading it
Speaker 3: to them again.
Speaker 3: Gav, it's a tradition.
Speaker 1: It's funny because I had to do it to
Speaker 1: Charlie Insisted days.
Speaker 1: He was like OK.
Speaker 1: And every Christmas whatever, but for her
Speaker 1: to do it, and I do it in there like it's
Speaker 1: just.
Speaker 1: He does it every year.
Speaker 1: Come on, this is all right, come down.
Speaker 3: But as he gets towards the end of the story
Speaker 3: he says oh, there was a man in the pajamas
Speaker 3: with handcuffs and cousin Eddie, what's
Speaker 3: going on?
Speaker 3: And cousin Eddie took his words literally
Speaker 3: and went and kidnapped his boss and it's
Speaker 3: brought him back to his house with a big
Speaker 3: red ribbon on him, kicks him in the living
Speaker 3: room and he says oh, it's you, chris, and
Speaker 3: he's like, it's Clark, chris Ward, he's
Speaker 3: like.
Speaker 3: That's what I meant.
Speaker 3: And so they have this impression of us.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: And they sort of have this backwards and
Speaker 3: forwards and he says, she says, oh, I'm so
Speaker 3: sorry, it's our family's first kidnapping.
Speaker 3: And eventually the boss comes to realize
Speaker 3: that the little people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the people, it's the little people
Speaker 1: that matter really.
Speaker 3: And he's he's given them all a year
Speaker 3: subscription to a jelly of the club, jelly
Speaker 3: of the month club, whereas they used to get,
Speaker 3: like, this giant bonus.
Speaker 3: And something I really believe here, which
Speaker 3: a lot of companies don't do, is Clark says
Speaker 3: people come to rely on their Christmas
Speaker 3: bonuses as part of their salary, and you
Speaker 3: can't just drop it.
Speaker 3: I've worked for you, for I think he says,
Speaker 3: like 17 years or something, I've had a
Speaker 3: bonus every year and you just decide this
Speaker 3: one year.
Speaker 3: No, it would know, like you know there's,
Speaker 3: you don't give us any warning.
Speaker 3: And he says oh, maybe I've been a bit of an
Speaker 3: asshole, but just as they come to this
Speaker 3: moment, the police sort of storm the house,
Speaker 3: these guys swat team start kicking the
Speaker 3: windows in, and they hold everybody at
Speaker 3: gunpoint.
Speaker 3: First of all, though, they do take.
Speaker 3: They do kick in Todd and Margot's house,
Speaker 3: don't they?
Speaker 3: Of course they do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they come inside and he says I don't
Speaker 3: want to press the.
Speaker 3: I don't want to press charges.
Speaker 3: I can't do it again, he says.
Speaker 3: But I've come to realize I've been a bit of
Speaker 3: a dick.
Speaker 3: And his wife says don't tell me you didn't
Speaker 3: give yourself a bonus this year.
Speaker 1: And he's like, yeah, why did his wife not
Speaker 1: get dressed For?
Speaker 1: The house is the weirdest fucking thing.
Speaker 1: It's like you, honestly, a couple of
Speaker 1: minutes you could put something on just
Speaker 1: your underwear.
Speaker 1: It's very bizarre.
Speaker 3: Who knows, maybe she, maybe she's been in
Speaker 3: saucy.
Speaker 3: Yes, his boss isn't pressing charges.
Speaker 3: Everything seems fine.
Speaker 3: And then, of course, someone likes to cigar
Speaker 3: outside.
Speaker 3: How does the flame?
Speaker 3: Where's the Lewis?
Speaker 1: lights, and this is Stoge and it.
Speaker 3: Let's not forget that Santa Claus and
Speaker 3: reindeer is the model is that on top of the
Speaker 3: sewer where a cousin of he's been pumping
Speaker 3: his shit and when Lewis that's the
Speaker 3: expression Lewis lights his cigar and that
Speaker 3: Santa Claus explodes and flies off and the
Speaker 3: kids look at me and they go look Santa and
Speaker 3: it's just the reindeer flying through the
Speaker 3: air on fire.
Speaker 3: The model Santa goes flying and Clark says
Speaker 3: I did it and it's going to get a swimming
Speaker 3: pool.
Speaker 3: The music plays with Christmas.
Speaker 3: So, you sound like the guy that sings the
Speaker 3: Toy Story songs, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: You got a friend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's the end.
Speaker 3: And, like I said to my dad and like I said
Speaker 3: earlier, I'd never related harder to
Speaker 3: somebody in a Christmas film than I have in
Speaker 3: this one, because, you know, I can't relate
Speaker 3: to John McClain, I can't relate to Kevin
Speaker 3: McAllister, but I can relate to Clark
Speaker 3: Griswold trying to hold it all together
Speaker 3: while your family, especially when there's
Speaker 3: a lot of family members that's what me and
Speaker 3: Alice did a very low key one this year,
Speaker 3: which was me and her and the kids.
Speaker 3: Last year there was 11 of us at my in-laws
Speaker 3: and it was chaos.
Speaker 3: It was so many people.
Speaker 3: It sounds too much, it's just hell.
Speaker 3: I love you all if you're listening, which
Speaker 3: you're not, but it is too many, you know,
Speaker 3: and everyone's sort of worried about what
Speaker 3: everyone else is doing and thinking Whereas,
Speaker 3: yeah, so Clark Griswold, bless him, I love
Speaker 3: him and this is definitely the best
Speaker 3: National Lampoon's movie, I would say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would say so.
Speaker 3: So there we go.
Speaker 3: Any other thoughts on it?
Speaker 1: No, I think we've got it pretty much.
Speaker 1: I do like this film.
Speaker 1: It's a very entertaining movie and I do
Speaker 1: like trying to watch it, but she is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great one to watch and, like I
Speaker 3: said, I've got very happy memories of
Speaker 3: watching this with you, of all people.
Speaker 3: You know, with an eggnog or whatever, we
Speaker 3: were drinking, probably anything and
Speaker 3: everything we could get our hands on back
Speaker 3: then and, you know, slowly getting a bit
Speaker 3: more drunk is probably on a box in there or
Speaker 3: something.
Speaker 3: We were watching this.
Speaker 3: I don't know when I used to come over.
Speaker 3: I can't remember we used to do fake most,
Speaker 3: didn't we?
Speaker 3: When I come, reigned.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: In between your birthday and New Year, we
Speaker 3: do like another Christmas, or sometimes
Speaker 3: early in December.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But yeah, there we go, guys.
Speaker 3: If you haven't seen this, go watch it.
Speaker 3: It's a Christmas film that you can watch
Speaker 3: from sort of November to January, I would
Speaker 3: say.
Speaker 3: But also, if you have seen this, go watch
Speaker 3: it again, because it's definitely worth a
Speaker 3: rewatch.
Speaker 3: Thumbs up from Gav, I should imagine.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely Thumbs up from me,
Speaker 3: and a big old thumbs up from cousin Eddie.
Speaker 3: Save the neck for me.
Speaker 3: Clark, jesus Christ, we know it's deep
Speaker 3: squirrels.
Speaker 1: He says, where's cousin Eddie he usually
Speaker 1: eats these things.
Speaker 3: No, no, he's found out there.
Speaker 1: I ain't cholesterol, so he's taking a break
Speaker 1: from them.
Speaker 1: So shall we come back to see out the show?
Speaker 1: Well, I think we've got a little Mr Murray,
Speaker 1: who wants to chat first, of course, bill.
Speaker 3: Sorry Bill, he didn't mean it.
Speaker 3: No, no, all right then.
Speaker 3: Well, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: No, no, all right, then we'll come back for
Speaker 1: that, won't we?
Speaker 3: Here's Bill Hi welcome back to World of the
Speaker 3: Strange.
Speaker 3: World of the.
Speaker 3: Strange.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, oh.
Speaker 3: World of the Strange.
Speaker 3: There we go.
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, bill, as always,
Speaker 3: taking time out of your busy Christmas
Speaker 3: schedule to just do the intro and the outro
Speaker 3: of World of the Strange for us.
Speaker 3: We really appreciate you doing it.
Speaker 3: Thank you, I think he's pretty hammered,
Speaker 3: but he's got that mistletoe on his belt.
Speaker 1: He's got that.
Speaker 1: Look he sometimes gives us when he's you
Speaker 1: know, he's a bit horny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: He's got a mistletoe on his belt and he's
Speaker 3: supposed to kiss under the mistletoe when
Speaker 3: that wasn't Eddie's dog.
Speaker 1: when he goes to town on your leg, just let
Speaker 1: him out of it.
Speaker 3: If Bill Murray starts humping your leg,
Speaker 3: garth, just let him finish, let him finish.
Speaker 1: If he doesn't finish, just let him finish.
Speaker 1: It's easier.
Speaker 3: Cut the balls.
Speaker 3: Now I've got a list of similarly to Clark
Speaker 3: Griswold's family, some family Christmas
Speaker 3: has gone wrong, which we probably shouldn't
Speaker 3: laugh at people's misfortunes.
Speaker 3: But these people have posted these online
Speaker 3: because in hindsight, they're laughing at
Speaker 3: the craziness of the situation.
Speaker 3: So I've got a few of these to read to you.
Speaker 1: All right, it's funny.
Speaker 1: Last night they've murdered us.
Speaker 1: Okay, go on then.
Speaker 3: Here we go.
Speaker 3: The first one says I was opening presents
Speaker 3: with my then boyfriend in front of his huge
Speaker 3: religious family.
Speaker 3: We've been together for some time, do you
Speaker 3: know, and we all thought he's going to
Speaker 3: propose to me.
Speaker 3: They all waited with bated breath and I
Speaker 3: opened the envelope from him and I thought
Speaker 3: he's got, he's put a lot of thought into
Speaker 3: this.
Speaker 3: This is going to be like a clue.
Speaker 3: Is it going to be like a treasure hunt?
Speaker 3: Nope, the envelope contained a gift
Speaker 3: certificate for laser mole removal.
Speaker 3: Wow, laser.
Speaker 1: So there's a mark on someone in the body
Speaker 1: that he doesn't like and he wants it gone
Speaker 1: yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought you'd like this.
Speaker 3: She said I couldn't decide whether to laugh
Speaker 3: or cry, but we broke up a few days later.
Speaker 3: Wow, wow.
Speaker 3: How about that Laser mole removal?
Speaker 3: Here's the next one.
Speaker 3: My uncle got sent a letter, which arrived a
Speaker 3: couple of days before Christmas, from his
Speaker 3: 18 year old son that he didn't know he had.
Speaker 3: He told us it Christmas.
Speaker 1: So say that again.
Speaker 3: My uncle got sent a letter which arrived a
Speaker 3: few days before Christmas.
Speaker 3: He opened it on Christmas morning and
Speaker 3: realized it's from his 18 year old son that
Speaker 3: he didn't know he had.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 3: So he told us all at Christmas.
Speaker 1: It's because at 18, now, they are able to
Speaker 1: go and find their true parents themselves.
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas family.
Speaker 3: I've got a kid I didn't know about from 18
Speaker 3: years ago.
Speaker 3: Imagine that I dread the day that a mini
Speaker 3: dad knocks on the door.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's going to be a problem
Speaker 1: with me, ok Well, I just don't think that's
Speaker 1: going to happen.
Speaker 3: Years ago.
Speaker 3: Here's the next one.
Speaker 3: I was dating a guy for a few months.
Speaker 3: Christmas came around and it was that
Speaker 3: awkward time where you'd only been seeing
Speaker 3: each other for a few months.
Speaker 3: So I thought what do I get him?
Speaker 3: Do I get him something nice?
Speaker 3: Do I get him something small?
Speaker 3: So I thought, you know what, I'll splash
Speaker 3: that a bit.
Speaker 3: And I got him a GPS system.
Speaker 3: I thought, you know, it's thoughtful and
Speaker 3: it's useful and it's not too sentimental,
Speaker 3: it's perfect because we were only a few
Speaker 3: months into our relationship.
Speaker 3: Not bad Gav, not bad no.
Speaker 3: So I got him a used MMA magazine that he'd
Speaker 3: read.
Speaker 3: I don't even like MMA.
Speaker 1: Oh no, he realized oh shit, I better give a
Speaker 1: sign Hang on.
Speaker 3: There's more here.
Speaker 3: I don't even like it one little bit.
Speaker 3: Nor have I ever expressed an MMA or even
Speaker 3: talked about it to him.
Speaker 3: I think he, on the other hand, he loved MMA,
Speaker 3: so he tried to move on.
Speaker 3: I said thank you very much.
Speaker 3: I put the magazine down and opened the next
Speaker 3: present from him, which was a DVD that had
Speaker 3: already been opened and the rapper was
Speaker 3: missing.
Speaker 3: He went quiet and then said look, basically
Speaker 3: I got a bit bored yesterday, so I opened
Speaker 3: your DVD and watched it.
Speaker 3: And she said right, and you got me the
Speaker 3: magazine because you wanted to read it.
Speaker 3: And he said well, yeah, basically it was a
Speaker 3: magazine that I've already read and I just
Speaker 3: thought you might like to read it.
Speaker 3: Wow, how lovely, how lovely of him.
Speaker 1: Very nice.
Speaker 3: On to the next one.
Speaker 3: When I was a toddler, we were supposed to
Speaker 3: go to Savannah to visit my mum's family for
Speaker 3: Christmas, but we couldn't.
Speaker 3: My dad said I've lost my wallet.
Speaker 3: It turned out what had actually happened
Speaker 3: was some prostitutes with an S that he'd
Speaker 3: slept with had stolen his money, id cards
Speaker 3: and all of the cocaine he'd been carrying,
Speaker 3: so we ended up going to hot on holiday
Speaker 3: without him.
Speaker 3: Unsurprisingly, my parents were divorced
Speaker 3: later that year.
Speaker 1: So what he went on?
Speaker 1: He's on holiday with his family, but he'd
Speaker 1: been banging prostitutes at sex work.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: He couldn't go on holiday with them.
Speaker 1: Because he lost his wallet because of the
Speaker 1: sex workers at home.
Speaker 3: He said to them I've lost my wallet.
Speaker 3: But it turned out he'd had his wallet
Speaker 3: stolen by some prostitutes who'd also taken
Speaker 3: all of his ID and some cocaine that he'd
Speaker 3: been carrying, and her mum and dad broke up
Speaker 3: many months later.
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, at least it's white.
Speaker 3: She was a toddler when that happened as
Speaker 3: well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, white Christmas.
Speaker 3: Indeed, she was a toddler when that
Speaker 3: happened as well.
Speaker 1: So it might have been very poor.
Speaker 1: He was banging sex workers as well.
Speaker 1: He had a little kid.
Speaker 3: He had a big old orgy basically.
Speaker 1: He's a nice man then.
Speaker 3: So this was my family, thank God, but one
Speaker 3: of my friends.
Speaker 3: So my uncle, sorry.
Speaker 3: Her uncle got cheating at the dinner table
Speaker 3: when his phone buzzed and her auntie saw
Speaker 3: the message coming in, she started
Speaker 3: screaming and crying and throwing dinner at
Speaker 3: him.
Speaker 3: My friend, her daughter, started to laugh,
Speaker 3: so her mum turned on her and started
Speaker 3: insulting her, saying you'll never get a
Speaker 3: man, You're too ugly.
Speaker 3: Then the mum stands up and started shouting
Speaker 3: at everybody the whole family starts to get
Speaker 3: involved, calling everyone back snobbers
Speaker 3: and lowlifes.
Speaker 3: And then, because I was the friend of the
Speaker 3: family, the mum then turned around to me
Speaker 3: and said and who the fuck are you, you
Speaker 3: intruding bitch On Christmas Day?
Speaker 1: Yes, that was a fun one.
Speaker 3: I've never been back there on.
Speaker 1: Christmas again.
Speaker 1: I'm glad I've done that.
Speaker 1: I have families and all this sort of stuff
Speaker 1: going on, or I don't have family, but yeah.
Speaker 3: Imagine Chevy Chase in these situations as
Speaker 3: well.
Speaker 3: He's just trying to hold it together.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 3: My husband's stepmother gave me a 36 year
Speaker 3: old at the time gave me a kindergarten size
Speaker 3: backpack for Christmas.
Speaker 3: When I opened it she said I actually bought
Speaker 3: that for a child about five years ago but
Speaker 3: the child hated it.
Speaker 3: So it's been in the closet for ages and I
Speaker 3: saw it and thought I know what you're like
Speaker 3: that.
Speaker 3: None of us like it, though.
Speaker 3: We all think it's very ugly, but we think
Speaker 3: you might like it for Christmas.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 3: That same year they gave my three children
Speaker 3: gifts totaling $15.
Speaker 3: All of them still had the for sale stickers
Speaker 3: on them, so they're all bought in a sale.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile she'd bought her biological
Speaker 3: granddaughter a $300 unicorn.
Speaker 3: They made sure we all knew it costs $300.
Speaker 3: They pointed at the sales stickers on all
Speaker 3: of my children's presents and said they
Speaker 3: were great deals, weren't they?
Speaker 3: Then they said now can you all leave the
Speaker 3: room for a moment so that we can have some
Speaker 3: nice pictures with my daughter and her
Speaker 3: unicorn.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 3: What a lovely family.
Speaker 3: Yeah, growing up this is the next one
Speaker 3: growing up, as we always did, we went to my
Speaker 3: auntie and uncle's house for Christmas Eve
Speaker 3: dinner a family tradition.
Speaker 3: It was usually full of a house, full house,
Speaker 3: normally about 35 people, big family gal.
Speaker 1: That's a lot.
Speaker 3: You see we're all sitting down to dinner
Speaker 3: with my auntie.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of cooking.
Speaker 3: It is so my auntie, whose house it was, got
Speaker 3: into an argument with her sister.
Speaker 3: It escalated to the point where they were
Speaker 3: screaming at each other and my sister, my
Speaker 3: cousins and I were being herded into the
Speaker 3: basement to go and play with something and
Speaker 3: try not to listen to the adults yelling.
Speaker 1: Play with something in the basement.
Speaker 3: It ended when my auntie yelled that she was
Speaker 3: sick of the family drama.
Speaker 3: It's time to come clean.
Speaker 3: She announced that my oldest cousin is
Speaker 3: actually not the daughter of my auntie, but
Speaker 3: the daughter of the other auntie.
Speaker 3: Basically, when her auntie got pregnant,
Speaker 3: she was too young and irresponsible to
Speaker 3: raise her, so the other auntie stepped in,
Speaker 3: who's a bit older.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: My Christmas day, revealing this Amazing In
Speaker 3: front of 35 people.
Speaker 3: Happy Christmas, short one.
Speaker 3: One Christmas, my brother and father got
Speaker 3: into a fight.
Speaker 3: The cops had to be called and my brother
Speaker 3: was arrested and spent three months in jail
Speaker 3: beating up my dad.
Speaker 3: So much so her brother beat up her dad.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: The next one is a true Clark Griswold story.
Speaker 3: A few years ago, one of my brothers or
Speaker 3: sisters said something that pissed my mom
Speaker 3: off so much that she just cracked.
Speaker 3: She pushed this Christmas tree over, went
Speaker 3: down to the basement, got a saw, came up
Speaker 3: and started sawing it into tiny pieces in
Speaker 3: front of a saw.
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas.
Speaker 3: A couple more, 2012,.
Speaker 3: My family had reached boiling point that
Speaker 3: year.
Speaker 3: My brother had been kicked out of the army,
Speaker 3: I was a 17-year-old stoner about to drop
Speaker 3: out of school, my parents' marriage was a
Speaker 3: shit show and almost ripe for divorce, and
Speaker 3: my sister was over from the US for the
Speaker 3: holidays.
Speaker 3: The mood was bad.
Speaker 3: In the middle of Christmas dinner, the
Speaker 3: doorbell rang.
Speaker 3: My dad shouted who the fuck disturbs a
Speaker 3: family?
Speaker 3: On Christmas dinner night, we were all
Speaker 3: thinking the same thing Without hesitation,
Speaker 3: my brother gets up from the table and
Speaker 3: disappears for a few minutes.
Speaker 3: After a while, my angry dad stomped out of
Speaker 3: the room and went out to find who the
Speaker 3: unwanted visitor was.
Speaker 3: It was a man buying weed from my brother on
Speaker 3: Christmas Day, on Christmas night.
Speaker 3: You can imagine my dad's reaction.
Speaker 3: Little did we know that if my brother
Speaker 3: hadn't gotten up from the table and ensured
Speaker 3: that my dad would drive off afterwards to
Speaker 3: cool down, that he would have told us of
Speaker 3: his year-long affair that night.
Speaker 3: This is her dad, as well as the child he
Speaker 3: was about to have with his mistress and the
Speaker 3: fact that he was planning on leaving.
Speaker 3: He did actually tell us this a week later,
Speaker 3: on New Year's Eve, though, so that saved
Speaker 3: their Christmas day, but a week later they
Speaker 3: found out that their dad was having a baby
Speaker 3: with another lady.
Speaker 1: Amazing, what a family.
Speaker 3: Two more stories, short ones again.
Speaker 3: I love this one.
Speaker 3: My grandmother went out to the garage to
Speaker 3: smoke a cigarette after Christmas dinner.
Speaker 3: She intentionally slammed her arm in the
Speaker 3: car door, breaking her wrist in the process.
Speaker 3: You might ask why she was drunk.
Speaker 3: She said I wanted to see if my pain
Speaker 3: medication was working.
Speaker 1: Fucking hell.
Speaker 3: So she broke her own wrist in the car door
Speaker 3: to see if her pain medication was working.
Speaker 1: Fucking dickhead.
Speaker 3: We spent Well, no.
Speaker 1: Well, it might have been.
Speaker 3: And even if it was, it doesn't make you
Speaker 3: super human.
Speaker 3: We spent the rest of Christmas night in the
Speaker 3: emergency room, wow, and the last one is
Speaker 3: one involving poo.
Speaker 3: Lovely.
Speaker 3: And a church.
Speaker 3: I went drinking with my friends on the 23rd
Speaker 3: of December.
Speaker 3: The 24th.
Speaker 3: We went to midnight mass.
Speaker 3: Things were going well, but then it
Speaker 3: suddenly hit me.
Speaker 3: I got the shits 10 minutes into the service.
Speaker 3: My guts forced me to let out a silent fart,
Speaker 3: but it had the power to melt candles.
Speaker 3: It was such a bad smell.
Speaker 3: Luckily I got away with it because there
Speaker 3: was a baby nearby and everyone just assumed
Speaker 3: the baby had pooed in its nappy.
Speaker 3: Amazing.
Speaker 3: Then my gut did another noise and I thought
Speaker 3: oh, I've realized what's going to happen.
Speaker 3: So I had to run, with my butt clenched, to
Speaker 3: the church bathroom.
Speaker 3: There is only one male and one female unit.
Speaker 3: The men's had someone in it, so I ran into
Speaker 3: the women's and I kicked the door open and
Speaker 3: shot myself.
Speaker 3: I looked back to see the damage on my
Speaker 3: trousers.
Speaker 3: Then I realized there was no toilet paper.
Speaker 3: So I took off my jumper and my jacket and
Speaker 3: wiped my ass with my jumper and my jacket.
Speaker 3: I then went outside to wait by my parents
Speaker 3: car.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you though I know it's a bit more
Speaker 1: disgusting would you use your hand and then
Speaker 1: just wash in the wash basin?
Speaker 1: I know that's kind of disgusting I think
Speaker 1: the diarrhea was so bad.
Speaker 3: I think it was so bad that my hand's not
Speaker 3: just going to get in.
Speaker 1: So it must have been all over the bum
Speaker 1: cheeks.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, because he says there.
Speaker 3: I waited outside my parents car in the
Speaker 3: freezing cold in just a t-shirt, because my
Speaker 3: jacket and my jumper were in the bin in the
Speaker 3: toilet.
Speaker 1: The public clears the bin.
Speaker 3: And then my parents came back outside after
Speaker 3: the service.
Speaker 1: Shitty clothes in the bin.
Speaker 3: And they asked me why I had poo all over my
Speaker 3: trousers.
Speaker 3: I told them the whole story.
Speaker 3: They laughed at me the entire way home on
Speaker 3: Christmas Eve night.
Speaker 1: But don't just, don't sit down, yeah.
Speaker 3: You had to lie on the back seats front down,
Speaker 3: I should imagine.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Fuck, hell.
Speaker 3: Well, there we go.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 3: Clark Griswold.
Speaker 3: I think if I were, to Happy shitmas.
Speaker 3: I don't even want to pick which one of
Speaker 3: those I'm going to be.
Speaker 3: I'm just going to leave it there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3: Happy shitmas indeed, Bill Bill.
Speaker 3: Take us out, Shall we come back and have
Speaker 3: yourself a very Murray Christmas Boy and a
Speaker 3: happy bill yeah.
Speaker 1: That's all the time we've got for this week
Speaker 1: on World of Strange.
Speaker 1: Next week, though, Gimme iron.
Speaker 1: Hairless pets Weird.
Speaker 1: I'm a back.
Speaker 3: Back again for Christmas time.
Speaker 3: Ten years of podcasting, that's it.
Speaker 3: That's all I've got.
Speaker 3: I haven't got any other lyrics.
Speaker 3: That's what we work on it Excellent.
Speaker 3: Well, merry Christmas and a happy new year
Speaker 3: to you, gavin, to all our listeners, and
Speaker 3: happy tenure anniversary all over again to
Speaker 3: us.
Speaker 3: Fantastic stuff, it's been a wild ride.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very enjoyable.
Speaker 3: National Lampoons and all that business.
Speaker 1: I love putting words in your ears.
Speaker 3: This is the last episode of 2023.
Speaker 3: So let's talk about what the next three
Speaker 3: episodes are going to be as we enter into a
Speaker 3: new year.
Speaker 3: First episode of 2024, episode 147 will be
Speaker 3: a patron pick.
Speaker 3: Patron pick, matthew Godley's, your turn
Speaker 3: again.
Speaker 3: You, as we discussed, have selected Flash
Speaker 3: Gordon and Dead man.
Speaker 3: Shoes, ups and downs, highs and lows there,
Speaker 3: motions.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: After that Gav you old git.
Speaker 3: It's your birthday episode 32.
Speaker 3: Episode 100.
Speaker 3: He's only 32, guys Even that sounds old.
Speaker 3: It does really.
Speaker 3: Episode 148, Gav's birthday episode.
Speaker 3: It's going to be Sorcerer 47.
Speaker 3: It's going to be 47.
Speaker 3: He's not really 32.
Speaker 3: Yeah, mugs.
Speaker 1: Sorcerer and Studio 666.
Speaker 3: Sorcerer and Studio 666.
Speaker 1: Two completely different films.
Speaker 3: I've not seen either of them.
Speaker 1: Amazing.
Speaker 3: And after that will be episode 149.
Speaker 3: And, as mentioned previously, any episode
Speaker 3: we can.
Speaker 3: For the next year.
Speaker 3: We're going to do director specials and
Speaker 3: we're going to kick that off with episode
Speaker 3: 149, which will be an Adam Green special.
Speaker 3: Looking at this relatively newcomer to the
Speaker 3: horror game, he's been around a while now,
Speaker 3: but not yeah, I was going to say it's good
Speaker 3: 20 years it's still fresh-ish.
Speaker 3: We're going to be covering two of his films
Speaker 3: Frozen not the Disney thing, a long musical
Speaker 3: thing, the one where they're in the ski
Speaker 3: lift and Digging Up the Marrow.
Speaker 3: A bit of Ray Wise in your life there.
Speaker 1: And I actually know a lot about Adam Green
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, that's what's going to be fun to
Speaker 3: discuss.
Speaker 3: So that's what we're doing next, patron Pit,
Speaker 3: gav's birthday and an Adam Green special.
Speaker 3: Well, it's fun to kick the ear off, gav.
Speaker 1: I thought you said a dog bark.
Speaker 1: You have a dog there.
Speaker 3: I don't have a dog here Weird, it's just
Speaker 3: jacking on a bone, just knots.
Speaker 3: Well, gav, I think what I'll probably do at
Speaker 3: this point is say some admin stuff before
Speaker 3: we say goodbye to Merry Christmas.
Speaker 3: Anything you want to add before we do that?
Speaker 1: Thank you Everybody.
Speaker 1: Have a great New Year.
Speaker 1: I'm glad everyone's happy.
Speaker 1: If you're happy.
Speaker 3: Don't do this all over again.
Speaker 1: Exactly, you're not happy, then.
Speaker 1: I'm happy that you're not OK, we'll confuse
Speaker 1: again.
Speaker 1: Carry on Thank you.
Speaker 1: I certainly just said anything.
Speaker 3: I can see you're really regretting opening
Speaker 3: your mouth.
Speaker 3: He's just wrung in his shoulders.
Speaker 3: Everyone, as always, then, and as we have
Speaker 3: been for the last 10 years, we are the
Speaker 3: podcast on Haunted Hill, a proud member of
Speaker 3: Legion Podcasts Network.
Speaker 3: You can find out more about them on:
Speaker 3: legionpodcasts.com
Speaker 3: That's the network we're under and all the
Speaker 3: other shows that are part of the network.
Speaker 3: If you want to go over to Facebook, you can
Speaker 3: search for the podcast on Haunted Hill.
Speaker 3: We've got a community that has been running
Speaker 3: for 10 years.
Speaker 3: Funnily enough, you can join that community,
Speaker 3: share what you're watching trailers,
Speaker 3: discussions and lots of other fun stuff
Speaker 3: memes and gifts, as the kids like to do,
Speaker 3: including me.
Speaker 3: Also, legion have a podcast page as well,
Speaker 3: just Legion Podcasts, easy to find.
Speaker 3: You can also email us.
Speaker 3: Our mail address is
Speaker 3: thepodcastonhauntedhill at outlook.com or you
Speaker 3: can message me directly on Facebook if you
Speaker 3: want to become a patron or just ask us
Speaker 3: questions or anything.
Speaker 3: Really, tell me to fuck off, or just say
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas or ask Avonlea as long
Speaker 3: balls Any of these things.
Speaker 3: It's interesting.
Speaker 3: We're available wherever you're listening
Speaker 3: to us now he's looking at me shaking his
Speaker 3: head Wherever you're listening to us now
Speaker 3: and any other podcast platforms, such as
Speaker 3: Spotify, youtube, podknife Apple Podcast
Speaker 3: Addict Podbean and the Partridge in our
Speaker 3: Petrie.
Speaker 3: We're also on Instagram.
Speaker 3: The podcast on Haunted Hill.
Speaker 3: At Insta Joy to the world.
Speaker 3: He mentions the Sanctuary Moon, which is a
Speaker 3: Deadbolt Films production.
Speaker 3: Deadbolt Films is our production company,
Speaker 3: deadboltfilms.com is the website, deadbolt
Speaker 3: Films is the YouTube channel and at
Speaker 3: Deadbolt Films is the Instagram thingymajig.
Speaker 3: So if you like a bit of that, then jingle
Speaker 3: bells, jingle bells Love this.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 3: And finally, patron Rudolph, the Red Nose
Speaker 3: patron had a very shiny.
Speaker 3: Thank you very much to our patrons.
Speaker 3: I'll thank you all individually in a moment.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: But if you want to become a patron and help
Speaker 3: support the show, that would be fantastic.
Speaker 3: You don't have to do it.
Speaker 3: We would do this for free.
Speaker 3: But if you do do that, even for as little
Speaker 3: as a pound or a dollar a month, it really,
Speaker 3: really helps us.
Speaker 3: It helps us buy equipment, merchandise,
Speaker 3: rent and buy films.
Speaker 3: All that kind of stuff to keep the show
Speaker 3: ticking along nicely Takes the pressure off
Speaker 3: us slightly.
Speaker 3: There are rewards.
Speaker 3: If you become a patron, you get a free
Speaker 3: t-shirt.
Speaker 3: You also get your name read out In
Speaker 3: sometimes a silly voice at the end of the
Speaker 3: episode.
Speaker 3: You get access to exclusive content, as
Speaker 3: well as our entire back catalogue of
Speaker 3: episodes, and you get to probably most
Speaker 3: excitingly pick your episode when it's your
Speaker 3: turn to pick two films.
Speaker 3: That's why you've chosen those films and
Speaker 3: all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: And quite possibly, as I'm wearing one, I'm
Speaker 1: wearing a tie-dye t-shirt that I was given
Speaker 1: by my middle child.
Speaker 1: It's stole one of the fresh t-shirts and
Speaker 1: tie-dye it for me and it looks kind of good.
Speaker 1: So it's a chance.
Speaker 1: It might be a choice of a tie-dye t-shirt.
Speaker 3: Yeah, bit of tie-dye action, taking it back
Speaker 3: to the early 90s.
Speaker 3: Good stuff.
Speaker 3: So, patron, patron, patron.
Speaker 3: If you want to become a patron, just go to
Speaker 3: patron and search for the podcast on on
Speaker 3: Tiddly, or, alternatively, message me and I
Speaker 3: can help direct you there.
Speaker 3: As always, thank you to our patrons all.
Speaker 3: Thank you all individually, now by name, in
Speaker 3: a very Christmassy fashion.
Speaker 3: So, first of all, thank you, don Correa.
Speaker 3: Thank you, matthew Godley.
Speaker 3: Have you been a good boy this?
Speaker 1: year.
Speaker 1: Oh has Father Christmas given you a good
Speaker 1: tickle.
Speaker 3: Oh right, this might get bad.
Speaker 3: Oh, jamie Jenkins, you've been a very good
Speaker 3: girl.
Speaker 1: Did you have a good pull-up cracker?
Speaker 3: Oh God, this is Gav saying these things
Speaker 3: off-screen, kevin S5.
Speaker 3: You very good boy.
Speaker 1: Jingle bells, jingle bells Sarah.
Speaker 3: Kay.
Speaker 3: No, oh, sarah Kay.
Speaker 3: I hope you enjoy your presents.
Speaker 1: Oh, roast potatoes, why I?
Speaker 3: don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Oh Rachel, oh Rachel, I hope you get a
Speaker 3: white Christmas.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Speaker 3: oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Speaker 3: oh, oh, oh, oh oh.
Speaker 3: What a good boy you've been.
Speaker 3: Sit on my lap, oh oh, rj.
Speaker 3: Oh, rj, you have been a good boy, and
Speaker 3: finally, Lex Boo, what a wonderful girl
Speaker 3: you've been this Christmas.
Speaker 3: May your days be merry and bright.
Speaker 3: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh.
Speaker 3: I've always wanted to be Santa.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Thank you, merry Christmas Patreons.
Speaker 3: I hope you guys all enjoyed that and I hope
Speaker 3: Santa comes down your chimney and empties
Speaker 3: his sack all over you.
Speaker 3: Oh the place, oh the classics, the classics.
Speaker 3: But listen, go pour your cracker and
Speaker 3: whatever it is you do, stuff your bird,
Speaker 3: stuff your turkey and pour gravy over
Speaker 3: everything.
Speaker 3: And drink some egg drink some egg mog and
Speaker 3: smoke some chocochoccalola, chocochoccalola,
Speaker 3: chocochoccalola.
Speaker 1: Chocochoccalola.
Speaker 1: Smoke some chocochoccalola.
Speaker 3: Smoke some chocochoccalola and drink some
Speaker 3: egg mog, and may your days be merry and
Speaker 3: bright.
Speaker 1: You know maybe your days be buried, buried.
Speaker 3: Days be buried under the sun.
Speaker 1: Let's finish this now.
Speaker 1: Let's finish this.
Speaker 3: Listen, it's a good night from Clark
Speaker 3: Griswold.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 3: It's a good night from Coslett, it was you
Speaker 3: it was Paul, and it's a good night from
Speaker 3: Snotts yacking on a bone.
Speaker 1: Indeed, it is and it's.
Speaker 1: A good night from you.
Speaker 3: It's a good night from me and it's a good
Speaker 3: night from Santa and it's a little helpers
Speaker 3: and it's a good night from me.
Speaker 1: Good night everybody.
Speaker 3: What does Snoop Dogg say at Christmas?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Ho ho, ho.
Speaker 3: Good night everyone.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the podcast on
Speaker 1: Haunted Hill.
Speaker 1: We will be back again real soon, merry
Speaker 1: Christmas.
