The Podcast on Haunted Hill

The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.

I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.

I saw this by account.

Be one of us.

I didn't tell you my name. I didn't tell you my name.

They're all apart. They're all apart. So.

It is time to keep your appointment.

Welcome to the podcast on Haunted Hill episode one hundred and fifty. My name is Gef.

Pretty high on musical duo.

No it's, you're a s see I completely failed. That'd been your d queue. Back to me. But no no no no not now 'cause, everyone's done one here. Back to you, back to me like a like a panto stage musical thing.

Yeah I, don't think we're gonna do that. You've got like one rap.

Which is mega dome whatever, bone, d yeah you, know.

Because I know that. I've heard the same r I was like is i I'm g I get freestyle off top of the dome no, not. I've heard it before.

I'll beat box bad. You just keep saying the same words over and over.

Yep. I'll be like flavour flavour. I'll just repeat the word that you said at the end of your remote.

Just pretty good.

Amazing. Well, it's episode one hundred and fifty. Gav. Ganksters. Well it's a special one for a couple of reasons Firstly. it's, kind of a landmark, episode a hundred and fifty, you know. It feels like no n it feels like no time at all since our hundredth episode where we covered Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Um it only feels like that was like a couple of months back. Um so yeah, w wow, here we are, one fifty, next stop l number two I was gonna say level two

Next stop level, two hundred. Weird Um. but it's change them. Let's change them from episodes to levels. Welcome to level nine hundred women's lingerie Um. what ev what episode is that about? I dunno, that's just what you say when you get on the lift, isn't it? Um well it's also a special episode because it's time for another pa pa

big big big I've still gotta find that find that musical cue so we s could stop doing this.

Yeah. Well anyway, we enjoy doing it live from this time. Um you mentioned gangsters and yes, we are gonna get some gangsters. London fucking gangsters. So. Yeah.

uh from the hence the name uh such we are are more a horror and genre sort of inclined to sci-fi. Uh we're rocking to rocking a bit of action, we're rocking a bit of comedy uh stuff like that. Maybe a bit of romance at times you, know. Um and gangster not, really something we normally rock 'cause it's not I suppose you got cockneys versus zombies.

Yeah, uh and you know what though, there are in a lot of these gangster films and a lot of these real-life London gangsters or gangs anyway, there's a lot of horrific stuff that goes on. Yeah.

et et etc.

Thank you I'd say. Thank you. Thank you for the choices of uh films. Really happy to talk about these. If you weren't ever normally. So.

in case you still want us to say it, we are gonna be covering, as picked by our Jamie Credie, we're gonna be covering the long good Friday from nineteen eighty with Bob Oskins and a rather sexy Helen Mirren. Well she's always sexy anyway, even at her age now, I still think she's wonderful. She's a girl. Um. Oh wow, m fair play.

Um and, tied in with that and, keeping to the theme, we're also gonna be covering the wonderful Guy Ritchie, one of a kind, lock stock and two smoking barrels from nineteen ninety eight. Fucking hell, re-watching that for the first time in probably about five or six years. That soundtrack is something to behold, isn't it? Jesus Christ. A real snapshot of the late nineties.

Yeah, there's a few classics in there though, that little drum and bass track in there and stuff like that.

Oh yeah, yeah. So that's what we're covering. We're gonna get we're gonna get brutal, we're gonna get bloody, and we're gonna get fucking violent. There's gonna be Clara all over the shop to fucking watch it. And we'll we'll be trying to do some uh cockney accents Although. Gavin's closer to London, so he'll probably be better out there than me.

Well, I I live yeah, my accent isn't actually too far over far far fucking away fucking London. I'm not that far from it. It my this is my voice normally is I can't gonna have to go that fucking much more, go a bit fucking like East End, you know what I mean, mate? Fucking hell. Don't know fucking Apple and Peres and shit. So uh I'm not that far. I'm like um East um um probably like uh hours drive, hour and twenty minutes drive probably.

Whereas I'm I'm uh much further down south. I'm I'm a southern softie is the uh the lock stock and cheese making barrel guys, you know what I mean. So. No west side of it, yeah.

Uh the border goes from 'cause we're so small y you only gotta go a few miles and the accent can change quite rapidly and it it goes around you know around England and you can see how it s goes from so that's why Dan sounds like how he does and I sound like more London kind of um because I'm this uh end. So yeah, it's f it's uh it's funny.

Indeed. Um I've got a vinyl uh which is like English accents and dialects um just like just all just loads of different all all uh and just fucking all all sorts whatever, you know.

Oh 'cause Dan go through all of 'em.

Yeah impressive, mm-hmm.

It's really clever stuff and uh yeah really interesting. But that's kind of us apologising for any terrible Cockney accents we do now. Gonna have m me old macke. Yeah.

Fucking L_ Ray Winston. I love it I. love it I've seen it probably only seen it about m three times I would say but it's uh it's i it's it's one of those terms when you it opens on a c on oiled up Ray Winston lying on a a lido in the swimming pool and you think okay, where's this going then? Yeah. Uh if it's is it a strangler's ho.

But it's also weird to see Ben Kingsley in such a fucking terrifying performance.

He is no Gandhi. He is the opposite of Gandhi I, think.

Yeah, I heard that. That's weird.

I will give it a go but, I like the movie. It was really good.

Yeah and there's a handful of good uh sort of Cockney London gangster sort of movies out there. Probably should have got a list of them ready for this episode really, but I was too excited about the two recovering which I mean anything Guy Ritchie does. And also Matthew Vaughan seems to be doing a lot of them now as well. So uh they've found a bit of a resurgence um and we'll get into that when we talk about a Guy Ritchie 'cause there is definitely a a handful that of stuff that things he's done that are very good. Some of the stuff he's done where he veers away from it perhaps not

quite so good, but uh uh not castaway. It's called um uh I watched it recently, swept away or something like that. Yeah, it's on it came up on Netflix and I was working I thought I have it all in the background while I was doing some admin and fucking hell, Madonna cannot act. I've not seen it. I saw maybe a trailer from it, but fucking hell John, you know. My little uh my little sample there from a lock-top.

Can everyone stop getting shot? Can everybody stop getting fucking shot?

Um so uh you watch the you watch the sexy beast that's, a very sexy beast you watch though. I'll I'll uh yep really good really good film definitely worth watching. Ray Ray uh no it's like Ben Kingsley is intense and he uh well it there's a there's this bit where the camera just uh lingers out of the kitchen almost like you're spying on them and uh basically um Ray Winston's moved to Spain to get away from London from the gangster lot if he's he's out of the out of the picture and uh Ben Kingsley's been sent

uh by uh Lovejoy. What's he called?

uh Iain McShane. And um uh sent over to uh get him to do another job. And he just will not take no for an answer. And he's just at when the camera's linking in the kitchen, Ray went s just standing kind of his body language is kind of oh I don't wanna be here. And r uh Ben Kings he's going back and forwards. Each time he goes forward he's doing a head button sim uh a head button like f uh motion with his whole body. Really uh but he's not he's not he's just getting close. So he he hits his just bit of his chest and goes

and he says to us no, fucking no, no, and goes back and does it again and comes back, and it's just like oh this is terrifying.

What's interesting is the the performances in that are kind of reversed because you you Ben Kingsley is a lot more quieter normally. Um. Yeah. Yeah, it says a lot if this is uh and therefore it says a lot for Ben Kingsley's performance. He's got a great range as an actor. Um that's cool Well. talking of oiled up people, I it's not horror, it's not horror related, but I got around to watching Jackass

uh the most recent one uh which came out in twenty twenty two, but um so you just got into it. Fucking I should at at forty five I shouldn't be laughing, but I still find them fucking hilarious. I think my Facebook status at times like I shouldn't laugh at so much like penis on the cinema screen or whatever it was, it's just it it it was fine, I was fine with that much penis on the s so uh Ren Sarah's uh daughter wasn't into the wasn't into the penis on the screen.

I mean we open with a a giant penis dressed as Godzilla, r r raging terror on a miniature city don't, we, and and you just think well if they're gonna start it with this, where the fuck else are we gonna go?

Yeah, but it's one of those things that it's kind of a bit like they're probably not gonna do another one, but i there's a possibility, but it'd be like twenty years when they're like grandads or something possible, but you know.

they were I mean Johnny Knoxville almost died in this one when the ball hit him, he broke so many bones and and was unconscious like three minutes. Um he's and they just their bodies actually are like a lot of skaters b or people that have done these kind of stunts and stuff, they just can't do it anymore. And obviously they're they're not they're stuntmen of sorts, but they're not like they're never trained professionally. I mean Steve O_ was a s a clown. So he's done a lot of like um acrobatics and stuff. But these are just guys that have got the guts to throw themselves

of stuff and uh I don't know, some of the things that spring to mind from Jackass Forever were like when they lit their fart underwater using a blowtorch and they exploded the entire um bathtub thing that he was in and uh just so it was just so many so many. But it's definitely worth the watch. If anybody if you like your Jackass, you know, as soon as you hear that wow wow wow, you think you know where I'm going 'cause I kinda grew up watching that in like the late nineties early two thousands. Yeah, that was

great, not horror, but I just wanted to mention that I'd watched that. I also watched something which I haven't seen for many many years, was recommended to me by our buddy um Ricky Morgan, uh who covered it on his show, uh Doctor Movie M_D_, uh and he talked about um Nosferatu, uh the vampire from nineteen seventy nine, directed by Vrana Hassek, and I thought I didn't see I don't I couldn't remember at the time if I'd definitely seen

I had seen it, so I wanted to check it out again So. I got around to watching that 'cause I really love the original Nosferatu, which is uh well over a hundred years old now Um. but yeah, this is really really really good Have. you do you remember much of this Have? you seen it? No? Nite? Nineteen seventy nine It's. just a obviously it's just a it's just a remake, but um I say just, you know, it's colour and it's just something about it that's very creepy, gets under your skin, really really well done And. it makes me

excited for what what we're gonna get with this new Nosferatu movie that's coming out. I forget the director now, someone quite big s Eric Eggers, that's it, yes. Um Robert Eggers. Um yeah, 'cause I think the Nosferatu films, if done right, can be very creepy and very well They. had um my funny takeaway from it was in the trivia that the director of

to get a good performance and keep them under control than it was to get a good performance and keep the lead actor Klaus Kinski who played Nosferatu under control. 'Cause apparently you know i you know in that movie where um uh uh who plays him uh Willem Dafoe is just like thinks he is a bat or is a vampire. You know shadow shadow of the vampire. Yeah. Yeah well apparently Klaus Kinski just ref refused to acknowledge that he was a human

behind the scenes like between T_V_ and just skulking around like, and they were like, close close close, we'd get in it, we'll have to do that take again and he'd be like, what are you doing, you're an actor like, you're taking it too far. I've never seen him and w uh her Zog's uh film about that uh boat in the ocean uh in a jungle, is it? Oh, I don't know that one. Uh keep talking. Keep talking, baby. Uh and the only other film that I wanted to mention before we come back around to you

is nineteen ninety one straight to video. I used to rent this one out a bit back in the day Dole, man. Have you seen Dole, man?

Mm-hmm.

Interesting.

That would have been a good, I've not ever seen it, that would have been nineteen eighty two, that would have been really around the same time. Really good double bill with my birthday, a sorcerer.

That would have been perfect, but I've never seen this actually Anyway. that's that's the film I suppose but uh he made it of him, but that sounds insanity.

Well um I was just talking about Dole man then Have. you s do you remember Dole man? Have you seen Dole man? Do you remember anything about it? Ninety ninety one.

Is it a dark pictures type movie or dark sky, whatever it is.

Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah it's, directed by Albert Pune who, directed some um band and movies Uh. yeah, it's about a cop who from another dimension who lands on earth, but he's actually only thirteen inches tall on earth. Uh but he's still about right. It it is I d fu cannot believe I used to rent this out. It's so fucking violent. There's no

I believe it. I believe you'd rent stuff out now. Uh younger Dan, who had been just been like I'll take it every all in. Give me ju uh ju you know, Johnny number five input, Stephanie. That'd be you.

But um if anyone hasn't seen Dole man, I highly recommend going back and checking it out. It's silly, but it's really good really good album.

He's basically Dirty Harry. Yeah yeah yeah, w when he g um when he comes to our planet there's a problem with the the wormhole he go go through and it turns him thirteen inches tall. Yeah. Yeah yeah, on his planet he's basically he's playing Dirty Harry essentially. He's acting like him. He doesn't take any shit. He's got all the one-liners. And so the opening part is him like taking out all the bad guys and everything and then he chases one of them into a wormhole and then he crash lands on earth and when he wakes up

he sees a girl getting attacked in uh this wasteland bit of like L_A_. And he thinks sort of how I go and save her 'cause I'm a cop. I don't know where I am right now. And then when he runs over there he realises he's only about a foot tall and they're huge. But he's got this fucking gun that will explode your head. So no one fucks with him. It's great.

Yeah. Child's band specifically. It's got your head on.

them which was not a good idea possibly and a pen even worse. And they've just gone you know what we need work, fucking doe. Harry's thirteen inches high. Do you reckon he could still find them probably? Well let's make a movie about it. Thirteen inch dirty Harry. Ask Clint if he'd do it. Probably won't. That's let's get Clint Howard rather than Clint Eastwood to be a thirteen inch dirty Harry.

Oh dear. So that that's my picks of what I've been watching since the last episode. Gav anything, else other than um oiled-up, play-winches, stuff. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Yeah. And it's c it's got yeah, it's a sign of the times isn't, it?

as bad, uh only for some horses would be more racist, if anything. It's not actually too bad uh. Yes. Uh yeah, it's actually it's actually not too bad, and it's actually sort of f absolutely hilarious moments where like there's uh there's set-up very quickly listeners, it's just like there's this do a landlord and he's got three houseguests, well four, but main three. A one's a woman called Miss Jones who's a teacher and she's probably about twenty six, twenty seven, and this guy Rigsby runs

the place. The landlord really fancies her Anyway. one of the younger lads happens to be Kate Beckinsale's dad uh who died when he was thirty one bless, him. Um uh he's in it as one of the tenants He. gives uh Rigsby animal uh tranquiliser and a record of Matt Monroe and says take that to uh and just take this. He goes to uh opens up his shirt up, has all his hairs, really opens up really up, has a medallion there, takes a load of animal tranquiliser and goes in and plays this Matt Monroe record to at the wrong speeds as

whoo why she's like I think something's wrong with the record really uh nothing's ri and he's just he's just 'cause he's so fucked. It's like if we're in Lovenham Las Vegas or something. So fuck it sounds sounds amazing. And it's a weird it's trippy thing, but I was in Hysterics. Very very funny Anyway. you, have to be there. I've never seen it before. Uh so I'm going through like the whole lot. I've done all this stuff. Yeah, I felt like uh I didn't get it when I was a kid at all, but I d

now. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Alrighty, well there we go, that's that's what we've been up to. I just wanna give a little shout-out to one of our our new air listeners who's also somebody that I work with, Kerry, if you're listening to me. Hi Kerry. Uh Kerry's recently um discovered that I podcast, obviously we work together, uh and she's been getting into some of the episodes recently, I think she's gonna be working her way backwards from the sound of it. Bit like Michael Jackson moon-walking away. Um but yeah, I'll I'll just

Well we've given you a shout-out now, so you're d uh forever on an episode. Forever. Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh

it's it's fine. Um okay well, let's get into we've obviously with the patron um patron picked we've been sent an email um with a little blurb and a little bit about each film so I thought what we'd do is we'll we'll read out the first part of R_J_'s email and then we'll go into a trailer for the long good Friday with motherfucking Oscars. Yeah yeah yeah, the chronological order.

Yeah, yeah, yeah Um. I make science choices Uh. Gav and I haven't normally we sort of sometimes message each other a little bit about films we're watching, particularly if it's one we haven't seen or haven't seen for a long time. We've actually been quite quiet on these two, especially Long Good Fridays, so I'm interested to hear both of our thoughts combined on these. But um mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Behind the scenes, behind the curtain. Um okay, well let's get into uh our genes. Oh hello.

beef curtains. Uh that's a horrible name, isn't it? No. Well anyway, R_J_ McCready, here is your email. So I'll read the first part of this site now. So hello you bearded podcasting brothers. Uh hello. Uh first of all I would like to say congratulations for reaching your ten year anniversary. Well thank you very much. Uh he says I've been listening to your show long enough now. Do I

understand not not only do you talk about the horror movie genre and all its glory, but also the odd mention of a willy, a penis or a cock, whatever you wanna call that.

And he's put in brackets, sometimes it's gab's cock, not actually a lot of the time, but sometimes.

Uh there we go Um. also forgive me if I've written the word penis wrong as I as I'm of uh uh as I'm or we are as, you will understand from the time it's school in the eighties where you would laugh at all the swear words written incorrectly in the cubicles of the toilet doors. Uh we used to write do you remember um Gav we used to write pen fifteen. Okay and, and then they were by yeah, that one as well.

Or you'd sorta say uh have you seen my do you know where my pen is? But you'd sorta change it a little bit like do you know where my pen is?

Uh I remember back in the eighties when you'd go into the cubicle and you'd s the pri I'd always I'm a private cubicle man myself, but then I'd do it in the public thing, I'd get shy. So I'd be in there and you'd look at the tiles and you don't see any graffiti or anything like that, but then if you just squint on the grouting someone's written with the smallest font possible to humankind and they've written like r you wanna blow a job uh ring this number. Like how have you done that? Like like wow.

You should get an R_ probably like going to R_ with that maybe I, don't know.

Yeah.

you're not looking at your own Willy. But anyway um R_J_'s done what he exactly wanted us to do there, which is go off on a tangent about Willy's. So it's swinging back uh swinging back around to his email, he says anyway now, I've got your attention, uh I'd just like to say thank you for covering what I consider to be two classic gangster movies of British cinema. Ooh. So we are gonna do Long Good Friday first. So um we'll w I'll go for a trailer come, back, read.

I'm very quickly just gonna say this and we will get to it towards the end of this film.

I never knew I and I and I didn't want it I. never knew though that I'd ever b sit there and re-reviewing a film where I'm sitting there watching Bob Hoskins in a shower montage to ju to saxophone music for longer than needs to be. Longer. Why are we s why are we still ha I was like okay and cut and cut and cut. And I uh we will get to it. There's a reason for it Yeah. it's rea yeah, there is a reason. Uh obviously there is c change

need to clean, you know. But that's in the story. But f the physical visuals in front of my eyes was a hairy soaps-up Bob Hoskins going, oh look, at me.

And you know what? I wasn't mad at that. I kind of liked seeing it.

I wasn't really into that. But that's why we different and this is why we did this podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, here's a trade-off for the long good Friday.

For more than ten years there's been peace.

Everyone who is on patch. I'm setting up the biggest deal in Europe Ladies. and gentlemen, the new London.

This is personal. Who's got it in for me? I want the man who knows. Is there no decency in this disgusting world?

One of these carcass dripping blood by midnight.

Nobody goes home until I find out who done it.

I told him everything Harold. It's me who's gonna take revenge, can't you? We are getting more on our heads, right? It's my manner. I run London. Not now, Harold. They're taking it away from you.

I'm sorry.

Okay so here we go. Uh we'll do the synopsis first for the long good Friday.

an up-and-coming gangster is tested by the insurgents of an unknown very powerful threat. Is that right? Yeah. Directed by j directed by John McKenzie. Okay, sorry Um. so before we get into our thoughts and reviewing the film, uh I'll just read R_J_'s uh little

up on this as he is our patron. Just clean that up, crank a little bit more. Um so he says that on Good Friday for many years I overlooked this film because I thought it was a T_V_ movie in line with the Sweeney, the professionals or, Mindr. These are all very British sh. No no no that's, fine.

but what he's saying there, R_J_, very very funny because the music I thought was from a T_V_ show. I think the music's very very similar to the theme of this to like uh uh you know t t the T_V_ shows of the time. So that's what I was that's what I'm saying. So c please continue. But that's funny you say that 'cause as soon as you said that I was like I ha thought of those s theme tunes and I was like oh yeah. So yeah, okay.

He says also, and I know you guys might understand, but I was forever watching Predator, Die-hard or cana ninja movies like Ricky Morgan's So Forgive Me, but I only knew Bob Hoskins for Super Mario Brothers movie and the B_T_ telephone adverts. And I I only saw the Super Mario movie last year with Elijah and really loved it. First time. Uh i the one what the the live action Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's I'd I'd got a soft spot for it. Yeah. Um he's put in brackets a little quote from the B_T_ telephone

which is it's good to talk, it's good for business Uh. for anyone who doesn't know in in the U_K_, B_T_ is the telephone uh one of the telephone service providers yeah, and um Bob Hoskins did a run of adverts for quite a few years where he'd just sort of walk around being all London-y sort of going it's good to talk. Uh I I'd say a p an English patron for uh uh uh a phone company would it be E_E_ and Kevin Bacon, it's like fuck off Kev, like Jesus Christ, like every advert of E_V_

years and years and years he's like the face of E_E_. Very very quickly 'cause this is a very British episode, I just wanna tell everybody about the tea that I've got. Now I've got a Yorkshire tea, right, but the best thing about this Yorkshire tea is its speciality, ladies and gentlemen. It is tinged with the smell and flavour of dunked in digestive biscuit.

That's weird that you've done said that because I've just dunked literally off camera before we hit record. Just dunked two digestive biscuits into my coffee.

It's it's fucking incredible and every time I have a normal tea now I'm like oh I feel like I'm missing missing something.

There's a really good one that P_G_ tips do while we're being British and it's called um strawberry jam on toast flavoured P_G_ tips. It tastes and smells like you're having a piece of toast with jam on it.

And a couple of tea at the same time. It is cyan. S yeah, but I dunno, but the biscuit 'cause you do actually dip the biscuit in a tea it, seems to work very well. And the other day I went to Xtreme and I'd actually dunked in a couple of digesters into it as well.

I was blama blam a melon man. Like happy melon man. Blam my melon yes, like Sean Ryder. Right.

back to R_J_'s uh e-mail. So he says it wasn't until a few years ago that on Good Friday dropped on Amazon and I checked it out with a nice cup of tea oh, he's saying it as uh that's weird, and a tub of Pringles. Good lad. He says I won't spoil it because I'll leave the rest of you guys, but I was left amazed at how good this film was with a stellar performance from Hoskins and an outstanding performance from a much beloved attractive and badass Helen Mirren. Couldn't sell it better myself. All in all it's a tight

written film which keeps you guessing until the very end, and I no doubt say it inspired Guy Ritchie in some shape or form. So there we go. Oh, he says um I'll read this bit out now, but in case I forget later, he says oh and one more thing, there's a bit of a Colombo there, and one more thing, someone asked me what it's like being forty, I said in a nutshell, I dream of just sitting in my underpants on the sofa on a rainy day watching horror films. There we go.

little thoughts there from R_ J_ McCready's mind? Mm-hmm. So there we go. So yeah, nineteen eighty um let's talk about it. So Gav, hav hav had you seen this before? Uh I um I hadn't um so I bought the D_V_D_ of AMS and about six seven years ago just to check it out. I'd watched it, thoroughly enjoyed it. It was in my collection for a few years, and I was like well I haven't seen it for a few years, so I think I got rid of it Yeah. I did.

did I? Yep, I did. Um watch it again, really enjoyed it uh for the review, that was good, yeah.

Mm. I thought I'd seen it. Um but it again, like R_J_, I think I'd only ever caught parts of it as a as younger man, like in my late teens. And I kind of perhaps got it muddled with even I'm just nothing like it, but stuff like um French Connection and stuff like that. I knew there was stuff to do with y uh yeah, that's a bit earlier. But um I dunno, I just thought I'd seen it, but sitting down and watching this

film for with the reviewer's eye. I was transported it took g just like Sorcerer I. was transported back to like that, it's very similar, it's quite a a complex mix of characters that you're introduced to r very quickly in the first few scenes and you're like what's going on who's that why is he but once you understand how they're all threaded together. Yeah. So producers did actually uh uh say to director like and write a

you know, this is a little bit a bit complicated and they're like yeah, it's supposed to be. It's supposed to like let let people like uh mystery unravel, of like oh what's going on what's happening here to keep people on your toes. That was the intention, you know.

But you very quickly you know you stick with it, you very quickly understand mu again much like sorcerer with all these seemingly uh uh you know unattached characters, they all end up linked together in some way and then especially when the the end scene and the reveal of everything you do you're like oh right. Um but yeah it's got Bob Hoskins hell of a mirroring in it. Um I'm gonna show my cards a little bit here and say this is in my opinion Bob Hoskins' hand saying his best performance I've ever seen from him.

I dunno what else I've really seen him on in uh uh Roger Rabbit. Um I expect Bob Hoskins has done some probably some really good underrated like sneaky underground type sort of films which are probably really good which, we would like. But I have not seen him in ma much stuff.

Um hell of a mirroring is in this too.

Uh yeah, Helen Mirren um Helen Mirren uh she um wasn't happy with her character when she signed on, her character wasn't really complex enough. Uh she was more the um the sort of uh the you know the the bimbo type uh sidekick to Bob Hoskins and didn't really have a a a role to such a character arc more any of any complexity. So she said like I wanna do that and so she signed on for it and they started shooting and her character wasn't

developed and she was uh getting a bit of cold feet and she was a bit like what the fuck then they came on okay and they stopped they, start re-writing as she's there. So she would come up with ideas when she wasn't on set come, back and say I think I would do this as her ca and all the stuff. And it's made uh it made Bob Hoskin's character more complex and more respected uh like if uh if like the Americans come over and this woman comes up and she's speaking French to the French caterers and she's doing this and she's uh r welcome to everybody she's, a b a beautiful lady and she's very well

spoken intelligently and and it gives Bob Hossen's character more like 'cause he he's a bit fucking rough around oh oh oh oh fucking grew up in a fucking capsule state round the corner. That sort of thing. And so to have her on his side and with equal respect for both of them uh it makes his character levitate levitate I always do that I always say levitate. Elevate. To a high to a high more or a level and it works makes the movie better. It does because um

Back in nineteen eighty uh a blonde lady in a film would just literally be there for you know bikini shots and stuff like that. But they are a double team in this film. He is the the brawn, he's the muscle, he's got the clout, he's grew up in London, he's really well respected and known in all the gangsters. Get the piece for a long time 'cause he's such a powerful you know gangster, but he wants peace as well. And part of that is he's got this yin to his

which is Helen Mirrens Victoria, she's this incredibly well educated, very posh spoken, um speaks many languages. She's the brains of the organisation and between the two of them, you know, they've got this plan that they wanna they wanna go through, which we'll get into when we when we talk about the plot. Uh it's just sort of it's very different, very wonderful to see. So something so different.

so really interesting that uh obviously casting her for probably first of all looking at pictures of her in a photo-cast go, yes, that you know, you know, like you're saying, get attractive women. And then it being Helen and her just going well, actually can we make this character more complex? Can we do more stuff for this? And re-writing it as they're shooting.

It's incredible And. and again very ahead of its time that would be unheard of.

you got things which are like uh one take's in the uh uh freestyle, but like when he's at the end, we got a spot too much, when he walks off the boat right towards the end, bloodied up, we won't get into it yet 'cause we get to that's all one take and pretty much freestyle'd. They didn't know what was gonna happen, you know.

yeah um the end scene itself has got some interesting things to talk about as well with regards to the score and that um um and then the other characters are equally as important um Bob Hoskins got two or three cronies that hang around him and they all end up you know especially Jeff, but you've got Harris as well, um Jeff played by Derek Thompson, Harris played by Brian Marshall and there's a couple of other people in there and Pierce Brosnan has a little cameo in this. It was the first thing he ever did. Um wasn't supposed to have a speaking role, but he ended up freestyle in the

word high. Um he's ended up getting a bit of extra cash there.

His agent uh just rang him up, said uh oh we've got your apartment, he's like oh my God really 'cause his first feature film said it's three days shooting at some swimming baths, just turned up there. He didn't have a script, didn't know anything about it. Then he turned up and said basically you're just uh could be over there and you're gonna try and entice this man uh um like you know um get him turned on or et cetera whatever and like just pull him sort of thing over here and then you're gonna stab him and kill him okay. And he's like okay and he just didn't know anything more about the movie. And at the end

the magic of uh cinema as, you know, ev as you've ne ever met some of the people that you've been in a scene with on on film, at the end there's Brosnan in the car with Paul Horstkins, camera cuts back and forth, they were never in the same car.

Yeah. That's great. Um and then we've got P_H_ Moriarty as razors, we can't not talk about him. P_H_ Moriarty is gonna be in lock stock as well when we get to that as well. Um as Hatchet Harry in lock stock, he is an intimidating character. He's in um he's grabbed the nearest thing. No, we'll get into that. We'll get into that. Um yeah, and there's a bunch of other people in this. Alan Ford is in this too briefly, uh who again is in lock stock as well. And weirdly, um

Dexter Fletcher who is of soap in lock stock is in this in one scene um as a child who tries to extort money out of Bob Hoskins for looking after his car for ten minutes. So you've got a very big connection between lock stock and this as well and I think like RJ said, I guarantee that um Guy Ritchie would have been inspired and many directors would have been inspired by this movie. It's uh it's very well written, very well acted um a good story line and l shall we shall we dive in?

we get down to the East End?

Well I've got a note straight away saying about the T_V_ uh the theme and it was it was it an A_T_ T_V_ show Christian, and that kinda goes back to what R_J_ is saying Um. well we should be very quickly na saying about the name is originally called the PADI factor. Now uh I asked a question early on Facebook to uh people uh is is the word PADI uh offensive to Irish people? Um not not really on this or really uh ins uh p meaning to be insulting and you know not very nice, I presume.

Because PADI is um if someone's called Patrick, I've got a friend called Patrick, but we call him PADI. He prefers PADI and that's the way it is. So it's not it's only insulting if you're calling s like someone a horrible like that goddamn PADI over there. Like if you're d and the same with Mick. And although Mick is a lot more offensive, it's still it's another derogatory term for an Irishman or an Irishwoman. So that does come up a couple of times, particularly in this film. Um

In fact, yeah, like you said, it was gonna be called the PADI factor uh. So yeah. So if you haven't seen this film, stop now. Um but yeah, it does give it away 'cause it turns out that the I_R_A_

heavily involved in part of this plot. Um which again you know is very brave to make that film in nineteen eighty with the I_R_A_ as bad guys because they were very much the bad guys in real life in the U_K_. And you don't really wanna you didn't wanna fuck with the I_R_A_ so much but, um you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah so um but yeah the score is amazing and feels very Italian the opening to this film, and in fact it's got a very European feel to this whole film, even though it's set obviously in shot in London. There is something very early eighties late seventies Argento almost about this film, uh particularly opening credits and the score um r it w it's quite it's quite 'cause Argento a lot of obviously uh

a lot of directors obviously quite uh s uh uh very uh uh particular with their shots. It's gotta be like this, gotta be like that 'cause of s certain framing. But then you could get some people like Lucio or Fauci and stuff that could be really to the hip and just loose Um. so you're gonna get different types. So yeah, this and this comes across kind of loose, this film. And and if they were writing Helen's character on the on the on the fly, this film is quite loose in the way. But it comes across like it comes across like you know, let's sit back with the camera a little bit Obviously. there's some very established shots where

it's it's thought out stuff I, love like the cameraman upside down coming in with all the people in the on the meter hooks.

Yeah, tha that was an incredible shot. Um yeah, he was there and then he's just like quick put me up, I gotta be perfect and just do that. And that was made that's, you know, that's just made up on a shu on the fly, you know, that sort of stuff. So this film feels like that So. I think the Italianess too, I think with that synth music and why it just feels kind of loose, I think it kind of has that feel.

there's certain things that happen in the first what were ten to thirty seconds of a film where you know you're gonna enjoy it, and I knew I was gonna enjoy it in the first thirty seconds. I just thought I like the credits, the s the text, the font, the the music I. just yeah. Yeah, have it have your way with me please, just do what you want Um. so we like I said, the the beginning of this movie can be

um we do get lots of very quick scenes. Um we get a house in an Irish countryside.

Yeah, the the story moves very very quickly at first. The first out is just like bang bang bang bang bang.

Yeah, someone gets off a boat with a suitcase full of cash, they take some for themselves, uh and then they hand over uh the the cash in the cottage later. The same person who is also a g a gay guy um i that's shown because he's chatting and chatting to another guy in a bar and and sort of feeling his leg in the bar and stuff. Again all very brave in nineteen eighty sort of thing.

Um basically we've just got this one character who uh we've established straight away his gay, which is like straight away I was just like okay, I do I was very intrigued why this is being established so quickly on and it it it goes towards his death because of uh uh something he tries to do. So it kind of I think it leaves it up in that way so to speak. Um but I really like where with this character we just discover this character but we're cutting back and forwards to some people counting some money. But we linger like a voyeur outside the window of the camera

and we can't actually hear what they're saying 'cause the windows are actually shut. But we can visually see they're just counting money from the bag which has just been brought over from the guy before and it's just I love that I. love the mystery element. And just sitting back and going what's going on?

So we know and we're waiting for them and they're all scratching their heads through this in this house. We're outside the window like you say and they're looking and they're arguing going well it's kind of good you can see they're also like trying to figure it out trying, to figure it out.

He wasn't very discreet doing it. It was another person was there who took the suitcase from him. He did and he did it blatantly in front of him. So I okay. Yeah yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they blow them all away. And uh we're like what's going on? What's happening? Where even is this cottage? I'm not quite sure. It's it's difficult to once you get into the story but I think I don't even think it really matters to be honest with you. Uh and then we cut back to the pub where Colin who was the the uh gay guy he um the guy that he was chatting to is taken away and both of them are killed.

Um and their bodies are dumped in a field.

Colin is think his name is yeah.

Colin uh we've established um uh his intentions and he's then now obviously uh this other place and he this bar and he's chanced this guy and he's gone outside presumably to have a rendezvous in a bit and he comes out to the car park he's like well where is he and we've just seen previously him d him and his mate fucking take it off in a car pretty sharpish in a straight way though it's I'm so inquis inquisit is I Daniel uh v what is going on what is going on

And it's just like I don't understand why are you talking why are you showing me about this guy who's homosexual? Uh and why is the guys that he th have been in his straight race like are they trying to make him well wha it's it's it makes no sense. And it's um mistaken uh identity isn't, it? Yeah. Yeah.

then we'd cut to London Paddington station. And don't worry listeners, we're 'cause the story will settle down in a minute but, um we cut to L London Paddington station where a coffin is taken off of a train for a funeral. Um the widow is there. Uh and the funeral procession starts, the coffin's put straight into a hearse. And we uh uh cut uh to a car which has got hatchet Harry from lock, stock, turish, remote and fucking barrels

there with a big scar down his face.

Yeah, and there's a raisin, where we'll find out soon.

Indeed indeed, And. he's watching Harris and Jeff uh who are two of Bob Oskin's henchmen, and they're meeting up, and they're having a little chat, having a little business meal, business dinner. Is this going on on to plan? Has that gone to plan?

That's a that's a good one. Yeah, that's a really good one, that one. Really really good one. Um and the w so as they're having their meal and then Harris walks off, leaving Jeff, sat there, and then the funeral procession starts to go past. The woman in the car, the widow, recognises Jeff from somewhere. She she gets out of the car, goes up to him and spits in his face. And we're thinking well what on earth's going on, and obviously ha uh

he's he's what witness this so, they all come into play letter. Yeah. So all of these guys work for Bob Hoskins and they're all loyal in different ways, especially razors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well he's good w i I dunno he's good with his he's a bit like

you say he's yeah, he had he had a brain didn't you at university. He does sort of say that later on. He mentions his backstory slightly.

And earlier on, but I think it's a reason for uh 'cause later on when he's in a suit when he's uh uh when there's the fire explosion at the hotel and pub goes off, he's then in a suit sort of thing. But before that, i it doesn't dress very

sharpish or gangstery or a bit more like in suits and shit. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, he's just it just doesn't it's come across as like a bit of a f oh come on, put a bit more effort into it.

But I think you know it's it was the mid it was just moving from the seventies to the eighties and I think people weren't quite sure how to dress. I'll tell you who dresses sharp as fuck in this. It's Bob Hoskins Every. time you see him he's got an amazing suit on. He always looks.

Not early on, but I think that's that's the reason from when the explosion goes he's stuck in that suit for a while because of what's happened. So I think that's actually uh uh on purpose. But i but the sidekick there with the curly hair he's fucking he looks a bit soft to me.

Well Jeff, the guy with the curly hair goes to the airport to meet Bob Hoskins uh Harold, but we're gonna just call him Bob for this Uh. so he meets up with Jeff and um he gives Bob the plans and basically what's be what's happening here is Bob Hoskins is got this idea to build um a huge casino 'cause he already owns at least one casino in London and he's kept the piece he used to be a horrible gangster but he's now just

keeps the peace over everybody in the East End. And he wants to basically retire by creating this gigantic casino that they're gonna build in the London docklands. Um and with the help of his other half, Helen Mirren, who's the brains, like we say, and all of his money and all of his muscle, they are gonna basically hope to build this gigantic casino where they can they can make all the money you could ever imagine, the the Vegas of London they're gonna call it. And um his idea is they're

gonna get together all of these people that they know that have got money um and try and sell it sell it to them. So he's off the plane, he's obviously been somewhere having another business meeting. We know that he's been in America recently 'cause we c we get to meet some yanks as they call them um sorry for any of our American listeners. Um there's a lot of derogatory terms in this, some of these some of them we won't say. Um yeah so he he's like everything's going well boss, it's all going to plan, the new casino's coming along, you know the,

are all there. Where is Victoria? Where is Helen Mirren She's? on the yacht. Um she's got um she's b she's getting this party ready where they're gonna get all the investors round and this is where they're gonna really sell the idea to everybody. Yeah. But it's still pretty impressive in nineteen eighty to have a massive yacht like that. Uh they actually wanted to uh uh get a bigger one and they couldn't because they couldn't afford it and the person that owned that

one, wanted loads of money for that one, loads of money. Um but like um they could only be on it for not very long period of time. And it's so tight down there shooting, it's really hard to do.

Yeah, and there's quite a few scenes on the yacht, so they must have had it for like a week or something to just get it all.

Well there's one bit, you know, when Bob Hoskins starts to go, what's going on, he's walking around the the yacht by himself, like yeah, the cameraman had to be by himself and do all the exposure and focus, everything with his hands round the front of the camera, going along following Bob Hoskins through it. And he said, and none of it could be seen on the screen. And I'm like no, we c it's behind the screen man, be on the scenes. Yeah. Um Helen Mirren sends off Bob Hoskins mum to uh to church 'cause it's Good Friday everyone, hence the name of the film.

And she's a very religious woman. Uh yeah, she goes to she goes to church three times a week, I think they say. And it's Good Friday, that's a very special day. So she's off to church. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do like watching films, you know, on set on the time, like Friday the thirteenth, et cetera, you know. It's great to watch.

Get a chance to do it all. I'm like that really fancy one tonight. And it's always in the front of faith.

You dig you dig at this werewolf shit.

Too tired.

Nice.

Some love doing that. Um.

Oh. So yeah, that's no plan. He's fucking out here in the Robin Williams.

Um Bob says to Helen, whe where's Charlie Now? Charlie's the American investor. She says he's landing soon. He'll be here soon. Um and he's like the main investor that's coming over from America. The casino to help them build the casino They. want all the money from all these people to build this casino. Uh there's some really good dialogue here. They have some b backwards good ba Helen Mirren and Bob Hoskins really match each other's dialogue.

It's like oh I've got this plate. It says twenty pound each. A fucking L_.

Uh uh that's probably about I guess then we got forty quid now. A forty quid. A per plate. A fucking L_ John.

You imagine oh no oh no let me fu I've got a good move out of plate. Let me fucking check it. Oh ain't that fucking strong is it as he breaks it.

Oh it's a much bigger caterance brought on for the party probably.

You might be. You might be. Uh she speaks French to the chef and to some of the staff and everyone's like oh I didn't know she spoke French. Fucking L_ Bob. What's. c is she? She's alright there Bob, I'm gonna choose fucking L_. You can tell she went to school. Fucking L_. Um and uh Jeff arrives, the curly haired one from earlier and he says oh it's all good I've sorted emigration for the Americans. currently softly, okay. Um

sounds like a chocolate bar.

Um he says I've sorted emigration for the Americans so that's all good they'll be here for a few days. Um they don't know but there's actually gonna be two Americans not one which which annoys them initially. Cut back to the church we, quickly s re are reminded that Bob Hoskins mum's in the church you, know. She's having a nice time and we should also mention that um she's got um a sh a driver hasn't, she? Um. Yeah yeah, she's been to show for done in the role roles for Royce. Yeah, the role of Royce Who's. outside he's outside waiting for it to come out he's sort of looking

at this watch and he's thinking uh.

We also go t very quickly to a public swimming baths. Uh potentially a very private one if you know what I mean 'cause all the men in here are interested in each other so I think this might be a very private um and we see Colin from earlier is in there and he is he's spotted a very young.

Well they still are. They still are. That's what I'm saying it's a very private it's private club. Yeah, you still got them now. In Bristol we got all the saunas um you know where you can you can go and hang out and also hang out if you want if you know what I'm saying. Um but yeah Colin takes the catches the eye of a very young dashing and half naked Pierce Brosnan and he thinks well so all of this stuff's kind of going on around the surface. Yeah.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing it in a fu what the fuck is this movie? What the fuck am I doing here Um? it turns out back on the yacht we've got this huge party going on and it turns out there's even the police are there um and he's he's g actually got the police in his pocket as well. Uh you know they're they're there basically over the years of him keeping the peace. It's kind of like he keeps the peace but they also you know they do little jobs for him. Yeah.

He does They. keep the peace. They keep the police. Yeah, word. There's your raps coming out there.

I don't know what that means. I saw yesterday, right, this is amazing, I saw uh uh a young lad, must have been an art student, um with his hood up and stuff like that, and he was at traffic lights with his headphones on and he was listening to rap, he was moving around, he had the clothing on like a rap, I look I reckon he's probably from London, he's doing his thing, and then it I'm sitting there waiting at a traffic light, I was looking at him, he's just dancing, and then he goes up, puts his hands up and actually does a shotgun a few times and just shoots

it's sort of in the air and dance is a bit more than shoots its gun again, and there's a bit like, oh dude, you this in South London, this is you know, this is my town. It's definitely not South London. No, it's not my town actually more, 'cause I live in a village, but it's near me.

village village village. So yeah, this thi this boat is, you know, it's full of people who've got money, there's there's loads of booze flowing. In fact, I don't think there's many scenes in this film where someone isn't drinking or smoking. Um certainly on this scene anyway. That's true, that's true. Um the Americans arrive. And they're kind of like well, hang on a minute wha wha why is there two of you? Are

you and he the the c the guy Charlie that's arrived, the main guy, he's brought his lawyer with him 'cause, you know, he if he's gonna be making business decisions he wants his lawyer there. It makes complete sense. But of course Bob also is like who the fuck is L_C_, who's he? And it's like it's my lawyer and I don't go anywhere without him and it's like oh fair enough, you know, that's that. Back at the swimming baths. It it turns into horror movie. You get like a P_O_V_ walking up to the showers which is really

good. Well yeah, 'cause Pierce Brosnan um steps up to the shower where Colin is just washing off the um you know the w w w

Another guy grabs um Colin from behind and then um Pierce Brosnan knifes him Gives. him a good old knifing in the guts Ooh. not nice in this memory box You. get that blood everywhere, don't you? Let's get have to get the mop out afterwards. Well that's happened and in quick succession we cut back to the church where Bob Hoskin's mum is and she's just about to leave the church and all of a sudden gov what happens to the roller what happens to the Rolls Royce? And this is this is

very good actually uh we watch the actor, 'cause this is very intentionally this is really good filmmaking, the actor comes out we, see him there from book four, then we cut to a shot with his legs walking down the steps, then he goes out of shot and the camera's there and he walks into back of a back of him gets into the car, the car then without cutting explodes. That is a real bomb going off in the boot of the car with an a stuntman in the front. And then it cuts to a wider shot with a

whole car. It looks good and then it goes to a wider shop for the entire car.

But uh if you see that explosion going off, you're like fuck me, there's a dude sitting in that car when it goes off.

It's it's really it's yeah, it's your Mad Mac territory filmmaking, it's just like what the shit.

So little does Bob Hoskins know, but in the last five minutes someone tried to kill his mum with a car bomb, they've killed his mate who was her driver and someone stabbed his best mate um Colin in the toilet in the uh swimming baths. So he's gonna get this bit of these both these bits of news in a moment and he's not gonna be a happy chubby is, he? No, he's not gonna be fucking happy about this.

And what's great about this is he he is, and I I I'm going somewhere with this, so bear with me, he's about to make a speech, right, this incredible very powerful speech that only Bob Hoskins could make to a massive yacht full of people, you know, this is my dream, this is fucking Britain, and we're gonna have a casino, like you've never seen and he's this is his passion, this is his project, this is, you know, he's gone through all this shit and done all these horrible things in his past, he's finally put it all behind him and he's gonna come clean and good. And all this

stuff's behind him and it just goes to show you that your past can you can never escape your past, you know. All these things will come back at some way, whether it's karma. But the other good thing about this is, where I'm going with this is even though he's done all these shady, horrible things and he owns some of the police and he's t you know, we see later he can he can be violent, we feel so sorry for him throughout this film 'cause he's constantly plagued by these things that are happening to him and he's trying to figure out what's going on and who's after him and and it's such a great performance by Bob Hoskins, such a great

performance. But yeah, so he gives this speech, um tells everybody, you know, I'm a businessman, but I'm also a Londoner. And he says all this stuff, gets them all riled up, they all wanna invest. And while he's selling it, he's c saying all this, he's got the London Tower bridge behind him hasn't, he, Gab? You can c can ask for a better sort of, you know, there's the fucking bridge behind me, this is London, there there there. You know, this is his plans. Um the Americans seem a little apprehensive. And they sort of say well look, I

I've I've just flown in. I never like to sort of, you know, I I'll go with my own plans. And he's like, no no, we're on a time schedule. We've only got here for forty hours. I got to take it here, got to take it there. And he's like no no no, let me get some little hell of mirror intercepts. And she says, Bob Oskins, let the Americans get some sleep, please. She knows. She's she's really good. She's always just Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bob's like he's autistic or something, he's good, completely like in his head that is the goal and that's what's going on right now and don't deviate from our plans 'cause I don't like that.

Yeah, he's got he's like you gotta meet my accountant John John, you gotta meet this guy that guy, you know.

That's my really bad American accent.

Uh we get some lovely and throughout this we get some lovely um views of the Docklands um. Mm-hmm.

Um. That's a really bad attitude and saxophone Bob. gets a phone call on, the yacht. Hello? What? And then everyone's like what's going on? He's like Eric's Eric's fucking blown up. He's like Eric yeah, he doesn't tell them Eric's dead. He says what's wrong, Bob? Eric's blown up. Did he know he's blown up? He he he he he he he he he he

Why have they blown our Pyrrhys? It's almost comical, isn't it Like? why have they fucking blown our Pyrrhys? Who do you want to do that? And his mum is in hospital with shock. Uh obviously. Uh yeah and, then like ov uh his mum's in shock o in hospital with shock obviously, um and they would go keep this fucking choir from the Yanks. Yeah, they don't want the Americans to know that 'cause, you know, they wanna try and make it look as clean as possible to them They. don't want them

Well, hang on a minute, we've only just arrived and there's already been a car bomb, and your mum's in hospital, wha what's going on?

It it's like it's not really someone you wanna go into business with, but it's like uh rich rich, we uh actually uh ends up happening.

Well he then he once they go off to first sleep, the Americans, Bob Hoskins says to his guys, right, I wanna know who fucking did it, all of you work, twenty four hours, I want this wrapped up, find out who the fucking hell's done this. But before they can really get underway, car pulls up. You alright? Yeah. Got some bad news, what? Your best mate Colin, he's dead. He's dead. He was stabbed in a swimming pool. And he's like fuck it, ain't no

He's dead. Eric's been blown off. Fucking hell. Yeah um Bob Oskins is c is gone from him. That's what I'm saying, it goes from him giving that amazing speech which is it's like the pinnacle of everything he's wanted in the last few. And then all of a sudden his world's been taken out from under him. It's like all c no. What what I found incredible about this is this still carries on going, right? All of this goes on. He even goes and fucking tortures someone before he goes back and sees that

Americans later on, like how you doing? Are you rested now? And I thought oh my God, this is like his morning. This is like four hours. It uh this is like five lifetimes for me. I don't I don't know if I'm completely quiet to myself here. I don't have this I don't have loads of people blowing up around me. It's so ingrained in him that this kind of violence that it's c although it's shocking, it's also like well I well I've gotta find out who did it, I gotta find out why they're doing it, and then I've got that meeting with the Americans in two hours. He's

still like he's got his business head on hasn't, it. It's so funny I. mean he was sort of saying oh have you had a nice sleep. What and that's what made me think. There and there just go okay have a little bit of a rest, maybe watch some British T_V_, get some fish and chips, you know. Far feet up and then like oh I've I've rested a bit now, let's go see yeah, how you doing you on my right yeah, know if you've been busy yeah, just doing a few things. Fucking hell, few things, your mate's blown up, your mate's been stabbed, you have a mate's dead. Fucking hell. Um.

Yeah uh he co oh we should also mention that when he finds out about um when on the phone he cro squashes the brandy glass with his hand doesn't, he? Crushes it. So w w w one of my notes on uh a moment Bob Oscar's in clothing, he looks like he works in a model aeroplane shop. That's how he dresses. D dresses like he works in a model aeroplane shop. So you walk in the door and you're like oh uh I d I think I wanna b get uh

stealth bombers today. Alright, what have you come in for sunshine? I can particularly hear his his demeanour and his graphness. Just stress his very own. I think you said this before on uh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those Bart Simpson

in it. I waited all week to hear back on my parents' landline back then, and then I found out in school a boy called Ian in my science class he, was sending to his mates, yeah, so I got this new job in uh dinghies rail uh dinghies model railways, and I was like hang on a minute, Ian, is that the one next to the c arcade? And he said yeah, I said I went for that job on Saturday, he said oh, me too. So he must have I just got it go.

guess 'cause they thought you were taking a piss into being part of Simpson ringing up most heaven. It's around the same era, won't it? He's like he's he's not called Bone, he's taking a piss out of me.

Yeah probably, probably not. I don't want that happening. I don't want Bill to dis you know I. know where this child says dad comes and has words from me. Anyway.

So they go to the swimming baths and this is where you find out just how much Bob Hoskins' character can cover up things. So they go there, they look at um Colin's dead body. Well he kni he knows Bob Hoskins knows everybody around London, everyone knows Bob Hoskins, and he he's pays off everybody.

He he cries when he sees the body um of course 'cause it's one of his oldest friends, they went to school together um and he you know he talks about it when they first met. He gives his emotional sort of tear to field sort of anecdote. And someone interrupts him and he goes do you mind I'm fucking grieving at the moment. It's brilliant.

tell you what though, it does almost start to seem like a man who's starting to have a nervous breakdown. 'Cause I didn't expect him to cry 'cause I thought it'd be too fucking hard, ain't I? That's absolutely because you don't expect him to be breaking down and crying. Um yeah.

And he says he says to the guy who who runs the swimming baths, right, clean everything out, clean all the water out. Uh and he goes don't worry, I've already got an ice-cream van to pick the body up. No one'll know anything about what's going on and we'll we'll keep him in you know a cold storage for now and s while you figure out what's going on 'cause he doesn't wanna s yep, yep. And the funny thing is about this scene is um the line originally was gonna be it's not very fucking um what does he say, it's not it's not very dignified is, it?

And he was supposed to say it's not very dignified, going out the building like a fucking chalk ice. But they changed the he he came up with it on the spot yep, on the spot, Bob Hoskins went going out like a fucking raspberry ripple. But he just

he just said oh I'm gonna try a couple more takes and he did one with raspberry ripple, which is the one they kept. I didn't know that, I didn't know that one. Uh-huh. So yeah, you're right gov, everybody knows him, he knows everyone, and this is all gonna be covered up while he gets down to finding out who it was that did it before we can then report it all to the police in the normal way, even though he's got his hand in the police as well, you know, so it will all get reported in a certain way. So back in the

Another bit of bad news, Bob finds out there's a bomb in his casino. But the bomb wasn't fitted properly and didn't go off, because one of the wires came loose. The wire came became disconnected. Bob, this is where he starts scratching his head. He starts scratching his head and he's going, who would who would wanna have me who, would wanna do me like this Who's? after me What? have I done?

It's like mate, dude you've, been a gangster f your whole life. There's probably a lot of people out there that want you dead and your family dead.

And it's only been like forty five minutes, all of these events have happened, go and have a cup of tea. Relax. You gotta go back and do deals with them, chill.

So he's trying to piece it together. They're covering up all the the um the cops. He meets Parkinson the cop who, he calls Parkey. He's like come on whi are your pay to fucking know things? I want you to find out who it is. And he's like look alright we'll try we'll try.

Who's your top grass? What? Oh I can't do that. I can't give you my top grass. Who's your fucking top grass?

he sort of he says it to himself, but also a bit to to razor as it's driving the car he goes, who's having a go at me? It's just who's having a go at me. That's what you call having a go at someone, blowing up their m trying to blow up their mum, stabbing their mate and then putting a bomb in there 'cause of the name. Um but yeah, you're right, he meets the cop, um he says he's c he's got no clues at all, you know, um and then he says to him, have a drink, and they have a little drink, and then he goes right, take this, and he goes

what's that? And he goes, that's the bomb. And he goes, what the fuck? Bob Oskins, you've been driving around with this bomb all day. And he goes, yeah, it's a bit like the with the wig and and Tom Hanks shorts. You've had that in your underwear all day. Yeah, you've been driving around. Don't worry. No, it's been disconnected. And he's like fucking hell. Alright. He goes take it off, find out who did it. He goes I'll have to get the specialist bomb unit. And he goes no, I don't want anyone like that involved. Gotta keep it all wash ash. And the cop's like oh Jesus Christ, isn't worth my

time is, it And? then he says to him yeah, gimme your top grass. And he goes well he wouldn't be my top grass if I told everyone his name. He goes oh no, fuck, he can't you, did it. Alright okay, yeah, he's in Brixton. Yeah. So right, let's go to Brixton. So off they go to Denzil from Only Fools and Horses who, can see he gets his bottom slashed. He does. He plays um Errol, who is uh we first see him uh having a little bonk with a lady

way. And uh yeah, they're interrupted they're interrupted by Bob Hoskins. Racist. You're gonna go flustered quicker than a balloon on Boxing Day aren't, they? Um uh Bob Hoskins just stands and goes oh here, we are, beauty of the beast, yeah Oh. right. Come on now, get yourself downstairs. You don't even let him get his t clothes on. He's downstairs, bullet naked in the kitchen, holding on to his dick and balls. So

Yeah. Uh meanwhile, Bob stays upstairs with the lady and you're thinking wh what's he gonna do here? And then he looks over on the bedside table and she's got um a load of heroin. And he says, I'll tell you what love, while I'm downstairs with him, won't you give yourself another little prick? Makes a little joke, a little penis joke that guy oh yeah, did you like it? He does. He does. Out outside of it and trying to find out where he lives, he he's just really horrible to like a bloke who's

changing his car on his car as a kid. And he's just really only says, he says you should be nice around here, just scum nowadays. Well, there's a guy under his car, and he's like changing the tyre, and so he's got Jack under it. Yeah, he doesn't know where he's going. So he just gets gets old driver to go out there. He goes, oi, you, where does Errol live? He goes, dunno, never heard of Errol. He goes, right, razors sort 'em out. So he gets out of the car and he kicks the jack out, and there's this guy he just c

Is it black here? What are you doing? He goes, it's number thirty three, alright. He sk gives it up straight away. And then he says just be nice and he looks up at a boss and goes, you should be nice round here. It's a scum now. It's like oh, blimey. And you get the impression pr perhaps he's being a little racist as well, 'cause they're bricks. Yeah. 'Cause he's it's predominantly black areas, isn't it Brixton? Um, you know, neighborhood, especially back there. Um but yeah, so Errol's naked in the kitchen

And uh Bob Hoskins does this little bit now where he's like, you wanna know why they call him razors? It's 'cause when he was in prison they carved him up like a spirograph Show. him r Show him razors. And he lifts up his shirt and he's got all these massive scars all over him and obviously one on his face that we've seen as well. And he says uh right tell, us what you know, and he goes I don't know anything.

What does he do to his bottom, Gav? Yeah, it's not a nice there's something about your butter 'cause you just don't want a a machete slicer constant do you? Oh. And the poor poor arrow is like I don't know what you're talking about I. don't know what you're talking about. Uh and they give him a couple more slices um and he says look I only know all I know is Colin's boyfriend or one of his boyfriends used to come here to buy drugs uh heroin I should imagine um they give him another

of slices and he says like I don't really know anything, I don't really know anything, so they end up leaving in the end. They've got a little bit of information out of him, enough to know that there is a link there, but they don't really know much else. Um and when they come outside there's some kids, they're like what do you not want? And then he goes I want a quid. He goes a quid, what for? For watching your cow mate. And he goes a little tit for your son. You asked for the money before, not after. But he gives them like

five pangs or something doesn't, he with those loads of money And? he's like yeah, go off and get a cup of ice-creamps.

And that was Dexter

And that was Dexter Fletcher who who would go on to be soap in uh in lock stock. So there we go. Um back on the yacht, good old Helen Mirren. She's pouring drinks out for everyone. The Americans are awake now. Um no one still knows anything yet. Bob Oskin's still scratching his head. He's got the whole of London trying to figure out who committed these three things against him. And uh all they uh Helen's brilliant on the spot. She's like oh I told the Americans that you were uh visiting your

in hospital Bob Hoskins, you know, 'cause she took a funny turn. But you can tell that they know, you know something. Yeah. Um there's a bit where he says, what are you telling me, nobody's heard nothing, somebody must have heard something. Um I don't know if you uh if anyone knows, a good good music uh connection to this and a really good album actually is a b a really good British band called uh group called The Herbaliser. And they did an album called Take

uh which is just loads of samples from the Good Friday uh Bob Moskins. Uh and it's a really good album, so worth a check-out. Take London by the Herbalizer.

I I yeah yeah yeah yeah totally, yeah. I l I list the Herbalizer p frequently.

Wowiee Um. well Bob is reminded that he has a lunch appointment with one of the old pubs that he owns or or knows the people that own. And he's gotta take the Americans there for lunch to wine them and dine them in sixteen n no not sixteen when they're just wine and dine them.

Yeah. Well up until this point they've covered it up very very well. Unfortunately Gav, what happens as they pull up to the pub?

Well when when filming this they they had obviously set this all up with bombs inside it and stuff. But they had that set up all the mills and stuff and things. Uh and loads of people kept trying to go up there 'cause they thought it was an open restaurant.

Amazing.

So yeah the pub basically as as Bob Hoskins is fifty feet away from it in the car with the Americans just explodes. And what's amazing about this, similar to the the car explosion earlier is all these peoples just run out of the explosion, all these stuntmen and women who were just punters having their dinner and drinks in the pub. And now everyone's endured um turns like no one actually died because the bomb went off up stairs. However it's completely blown the top of this pub off.

And uh Helen says Helen Merren says if we'd have been there five minutes earlier and they're like yep we would have been in there Jesus Christ.

In London in London we have these natural gases that explode pubs.

Um so she says look we'll go off somewhere else and Bob says I'll stay behind and help with this.

Yeah so it'd be good. He says has anyone suspicious been here lately to the guy the the pub landlord? Uh yeah so which is an Irish t t derogatory term for Irish people. He says some Irishmen were here. Never seen them before. Didn't think much of it. Yeah.

think to both of you Bob Orskins hairy hairy showering Bob Orskins. Yeah. Uh and he told them where to go. He said sorry, I didn't wanna b didn't wanna worry you with it Bob. And he's like mm okay. Well look, I've gotta go 'cause the entire team of investors is meeting i in one hour at the casino I've, invited everybody there to my casino so, I've gotta go now. But um if it was Irish people, this is interesting. So he says to his uh cronies I want the names and addresses of all of

these mix now. I wanna know who their families are." And he sort of goes really goes in on them. So that's the next bit. He's got more clues. He's still figuring it out, you know. And again, Gav, it's about one P_M_ at this point. All of this has happened. And it's now one P_M_ Yeah. Uh so yeah, big meeting at the casino.

That's just this is like Monday morning or whatever, Tuesday afternoon.

He says to Jeff, look after Helen Mirren. She's gonna be taking the uh the Americans out for dinner. And I want you to meet me at the abattoir at midnight. Now if Bob Austen says to you wait to meet me at the abattoir at midnight, you know some shit's gonna go down, don't you? So that's that's now at dinner, the Americans tell Helen. By the way, we know what's going on Helen, Mirren. It's no we know about the car bomb. Yeah, we know about the s you know about the stabbing.

We're not stupid. We're not like kids. We we know what's going on. So uh fair enough.

We know he's been running around all over London trying to figure out what's going on. We also saw a pub blow up right in front of us. So we definitely know something's going on. So she says alright look, I'll tell you the truth 'cause she's amazing. She's a great salesperson, very well spoken, very conv convicti uh got a lot of conviction. She says to them alright, I'll tell you the truth. Yeah, you're right, some stuff's gone on. But Harold's dealing with it. It's Harold Harold will deal with it. Trust me. He's a good guy. He always comes through. He's true to his word.

And they say right, okay, well basically we'll give you twenty four hours to resolve this this situation. And if in twenty four hours you haven't resolved it, we're flying back to America straight away. And she's like oh, okay right, okay, Jesus Christ. So we cut away from that to some live music in a pub.

Bob Oskins walks in. And he sees he sees Billy and Jimmy, particularly Billy, and he's like oh and they're like what are you they look a bit worried, they're like what are you doing here Bob Oskins? And he's like oh I just wanted to pop in and have a word with you two. See if you've heard anything about what's been going on Um. let's go for a little walk outside oh, shit. So. Oh yeah it is Oh. that's where I know him from. Billy yeah, tha well he's not Billy i he's Billy in

yes, but not on any any falls and losses. So they go outside and Razor grabs him, shoves him in the car, and they're gonna get taken to the abattoir.

Cut back to dinner, and Harris, who is uh one of Bob's henchmen, he is smashed, really drunk, and he starts saying a bit too much, starts saying, how uh you know, yeah, yeah, you know, we're gonna fucking make loads of money uh and hell of memories like please be quiet Harris, don't give away all the plans. You know, you're an idiot, what are you up to? He's like yeah.

the Americans are just like which is fair enough, can you trust him 'cause but when it comes down to can you trust a drunk 'cause a drunk can get uh sit at a bar and easily someone could problem with drinks and get information out of 'em. Easily so you can't trust an alcoholic or in a drunk.

For it, spoiler alert, the reason that Harris is so drunk and so confident is 'cause he thinks Bob Oskins is gonna get taken care of. You know, I'm I'm gonna all of the I'm in the clear for what I've done in the past. So I'm just gonna have a few drinks now and blow up some steam and tell the Americans what I really think of the sole situation Thankfully. Jeff arrives and Helen's like oh, I have never been so glad to see anybody in my life. Harris has ruined this whole thing. He needs to um

Yeah. So she's she they send um the Americans go off in a taxi back to their hotel and they send um

They're like go home. And that's when he says you're uh wi uh he says something to her which is a key for later on too. She tells Antony uh Antony Hopkins Bob, Oskins later on.

Yeah, he says to her, you know who the real bastard is, don't you? Jeff, Jeff's the real bastard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she thinks wow, so she stores that information for later. Um yes, so Jeff drives home with Helen Mirren and it's very interesting now 'cause he's driving about to the hotel and as an audience we're like are, these two got a

history 'cause there's some flirtatious sort of looks between them.

Well it it's uh it's setting up the the scene which normally that's when that scene's set up when the the the man's taking the lady home and she's like oh just see me in. You know, we know what's going on. It's been a night after a day and it's gonna be sex et, cetera. So it kind of sets that seed in our minds.

And also the betrayal because he's Bob's right-hand man and he's moving in on Bob's girl here, you know. And I gab, what's the line he says to her when they're on the lift?

Or or try and take over control. He says on the lift I'd like to lick every bit of your body.

Uh a p um uh apparently she had a load of dialogue here and she said to nope, let me act it with my uh mannerisms and I'll just act it with my body.

I think actually she should add a little bit of dialogue.

Well what's amazing about it is, and my wife was watching this scene with me, she watched most of the film with me, we both looked at each other when she then the next bit happens and went oh cart blocked because he says that to her and sort of looking at her like yeah, yeah. And then the door just goes ding and the door lift doors open and she goes oh saved by the bell, good night. And she just runs off to her hotel room and leaves him and he's like left there like oh, bubbles.

trouble with this situation is though he thought he was in there and if he'd got in there two, folds he yeah he's getting his leg over but, he's getting power over Bob and he's c he's t it's a power play and it's not something you can really hide if you're gonna go with that you're fucking going for it because your boss who's been your feeder i is gonna say what the fuck. Um and sh it is worse now because she I sa I said no,

interested, and obviously she's could tell Bob. Or sh it might not, but more unlikely she would. But he doesn't know this. Either way, that's gonna give him anxiety. And it is now a situation of what does he do next. There's two things here, isn't there? Because firstly it's just another part of Bob's world falling apart, and he doesn't even know that A_ he doesn't even know that A_ Harris got drunk and almost blabbed the plan to the Americans, and B_ Jeff decided

to to move it on his girl So. two things have happened tonight that he doesn't even know or but the other part here is now Helen Mirren is in his paranoid bubble with him and knowing that hang on a minute, everyone seems to be against us here. What's going on? But uh yeah, that's not good at all. So she knows that. And even if she doesn't tell Bob, she loves Bob and but that's not good. So she's gonna be keeping it on him anyway. Again, we can't trust him. And there we go.

Yeah.

Meat packing time.

And uh we we get a nice panning shot of all this meat hanging, and then we cut and we see Billy hanging upside down.

And just take off loads of people like meat, just put 'em all upside down, just uh on the racks to slide 'em down like curtains. And this is also the same place that they're storing Colin's body, um 'cause Bob pays 'em a little visit while he's there. And and Bob says this is the closest I've been to funeral in years. Fucking hell. Yeah.

So there's this amazing scene now where they all this is the scene where the camera's upside down. Um so we see it from their point of view. And he gives this incredible speech.

Well when when the other guys do turn up the music score for the first time it goes really dark and this whole film at this point here just goes really dark. I've never seen s humans be brought in like uh dead meat on hooks like that. It's it's leather face. You know.

This is the first time that we've seen Bob Hoskins come even closer to any violence, yeah. And and and this is why probably the music suits that and the why the from now on the film is quite dark. And he gives this incredible speech to all these upside-down mobsters and says I've kept the peace for ten fucking years and one of you lot has turned around and stabbed me in the fucking back and I wanna know which one it was. And he says to them

um something along the lines of um for every every hour that you don't tell me is another finger you'll lose or something like that basically, they're all fucked.

I love I love the fact that i i it's not any of them though. I mean it's just got a lot of wrong wrongs.

Yeah 'cause Jeff turns up with huge blue balls 'cause he just got blown off the lift by um Helen Mirren. And he's take this is I alri obviously that scene then we know he's not to be trusted, but this bit now when he when he goes to punch one of the guys it, is really pathetic actively punch stuff. Uh uh I don't know if he's p badly acted or just his characters like doing that like that because it uh straight away it goes he can't be trusted from the way he does that scene.

Well he's trying to cover up uh he tried to prove his loyalty, isn't he, by showing that he's still a bit of a hard man, but also he's he's frustrated. So he goes over and he gives him a couple of punches.

It it it it it it's just not very well done. I love the fact that he's in Bob Oscar's to still invite the detective to the meat-packing factory, you know, with the with the people all hanging upside down. Jesus. He takes the detective's like I'm out, I'm the fuck out of this.

he's like well it is Detective Parkinson as though he was telling me he's yeah but I've always called you parkie, haven't I?

He says to him, what have you got for me? He says basically, in a nutshell Bob, the I_R_A_ are after you. And he's like what, who do they think they are? I'll g I'll take them to town then. And he goes whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Do you know who the I_R_A_ are? And he's like I don't care, this is my fucking town I. own it, I own London, I want their addresses, it's like a bunch of them There's. a lot of these people. And he's like I'm out. But he does give him a bit of information

there was a load of explosives that had been stolen recently, uh but the security guard didn't really say anything. And he's just like right, let's go torture the fucking security guard.

Yeah.

Um yeah, and that's when he says alright, yeah yeah, you're right, there's a building site where some T_N_T_ was stolen and the security guard blah blah blah, so that's fine. Then Bob says right, cut 'em all down, pointing to the guys in the hooks, tell 'em we all said sorry, give 'em a grand each.

There we go. That'll keep 'em happy. Just another just another Friday night.

Got a grand? Well that was a good night, what'd you do? Almost got killed.

Got a grand though. So we get a new car tomorrow if you like love. Um he gets back to his apartment and Helen Mirren is in her room um he's really stressed.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, now he knows the I_R_A_ are after him. He works with his boss, but he's like what on earth have I done? What uh what have I done to trouble the I_R_A_, you know?

had to tell the Americans, he's like wha wha you just have one drink, I've been going around this town, keeping it quiet, you have one drink, can you fucking tell 'em He? gets a little bit rough-handed with her um and she's like don't treat me like that sort of thing. Then he's like what's going on with me? Yeah, he says who am I wha wha wh

he says like I'm really sorry uh and they they hug and she s she cries it's an amazing scene and she cries it's like Alan Mirren is obviously a fantastic actress I'm. so scared I don't know what's going on and he's like alright well uh I gotta figure this out we'll we'll c we'll get through this together.

We cut to like a complete scene I was just oh fuck is this and it's just like a woman just doing her morning stuff uh wh who's this? Why is why are you introducing characters to hell you, know? Yeah yeah yeah. I think so Well. no he, is there, isn't he? She finds him upstairs Oh. yes.

Mm-hmm.

Sort of uh lead to like Lassie leads her upstairs into the top of the warehouse.

And uh she finds him crucified, nailed to the floor Well. he's not dead, he's dying. He's dying. He's like help me.

start screaming uh and uh Curlytopp's turned up sort of Curlytopp and he's gone up there and seen that. So he's they have it Bob has Bob hasn't even fucking done it. It's not any of his guys. It's really c they got there before him. So they are on the same tracks. Or or why uh who why are they doing this? They d who's t who's done this to the security guard? It would be the people that sold TIN uh T_ and T_ or they sh are they doing it to make him not speak. I don't understand.

I'm I can't remember if it's Jeff and Harris that have done or if it's the R_R_A_ but, um.

I don't think they've tortured him. I think they've just crucified him and left him to die. Oh. I don't know. Uh-huh. No, 'cause the police have already spoken to him. So this has happened after the fifth.

Weird. It makes no sense.

Bob Oskins is lying in his pants having a cigarette and a coffee and Helen Mirren's learning next to me. He goes coffee's on sunshine if you wanna get yourself a fresh pot. And he's like oh, I've just gotta let you know about that security guard. Um he must find crucified to the floor.

i he must still be like oh shit, you know, I d Colin must be like, you know, in fact I've s I've tried it on. I said I'd lick her everywhere. I've I've said I'd lick her everywhere. I'll lick every little bit Uh. you know, he must be like oh, has she told him? Has she not? Uh uh uh yeah, she's fucking yeah, she's fucking a lot of

I've got an idea Well. she says she says it could be Harris 'cause he did say Jeff is the real bastard when we were having dinner the other night. But also I don't trust Jeff any more. So don't tell Bob. Yeah. Um so Bob makes a call. Hey. Hey, I'm gonna make a phone call with my hairy hands. He sa somebody

says um that security guard um he would. When he speaks to Jeff later on he says that security guard you spoke to a few hours ago is dead and he goes what do you mean dead? And he goes he's crucified to the phone and he goes well he went like that when I was there and he goes good I fucking hope you'd notice if someone's fucking nailed to the fucking floor Jeff. Sort of has a real go at him about it. Um yeah so uh Bob makes a phone call y he says razors you're right listen, I wanna 'cause he his mind's going and he says

wouldn't know who that woman was spat in Colin's f in um Jeff's face after the funeral. He's like, how am I gonna do that? He was like, I don't fucking know, that's what I'll pay you for, get your yellow pages out He. literally says get your yellow p do you remember I used to work for yellow pages a few years ago. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's the next goal really is to find out who this woman is 'cause Bob thinks that's there's a connection he finds out who it was and he goes to the graveyard and it's Mrs. Benson this the widow from the beginning of the film and um she basically fills in a lot of the plot here which is that her dad husband uh drove Colin to Belfast to do a deal and the the deal was on behalf of

Harris and Jeff knew part of it as well. So they were basically doing some deals behind Bob's back with the I_R_A_, which Bob would have not approved of 'cause you don't wanna do any kind of deals that are with the I_R_A_, especially back then Um. uh sh she says I need a hundred pound a week and you could see how it's quite bad. Bob Moskis feels stanza like it doesn't know what to do except just give her money 'cause it's she's there if her kid's just crying, she's so upset if her kids are really young.

Yeah, it's f 'cause it's you yeah you appreciate appreciate her predicament.

She's there with her well, what happens is her kids aren't really there. They're in the background somewhere and she's looks like she's kind of on her own at this grave. She t tells them all about it. He slaps her 'cause she's being hysterical. And then she cries even more obviously. Her kids run over then and then he realises how vulnerable she is. She's got she's a widow now and she's got two kids on her own, very young children and they're crying.

Yeah, even though she says a hundred pound a week sort of thing, which is p pretty good then I guess, um uh well b uh do uh he n she she says he says that t yes to that. She's still like it doesn't change anything. Like the person that I love, the the father of my children's gone. It's not gonna change a thing. Yeah. Yeah.

bring their dad back. I've gotta bring them up now with no money on my own. How can I do this? I just want him back. I just want him back. I think she even says something like I wish I was I wish I was with him or something like that in front of her kids. And it's just such an emotional scene that comes out of nowhere. But the woman who's barely in this movie, her acting is phenomenal in this scene. It's crazy. Um incredible bit of acting. So it's uh stone persona. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I see what you

Yeah. I thought you meant stoned. I thought I'd miss that scene when I put lost 'cause there's a bulb. This this is the scene where Warwick Davis and Bob Hoskins do a bong together. Super Mario with a leprechaun Um. yeah, so back on the yacht, Bob's having a drink. Jack arrives. Jack has a drink with me, Jeff. Jeff is s

yeah, Jeff's like oh. Oh. Oh. Oh it's not hot? What's wrong with you? Oh. Uh why why have they not just put a bomb on his boat? I don't understand.

Don't know I'm. sure. Yeah, he's always on the boat. Yeah.

It's a bit easy.

Yeah, that's true. You would have well there you go. You would have been brilliant in the eye of it and the eighties could go. Oh yeah, well we all said they'd go we can't kill him. Have you tried on his boat on his boat? Why don't you put a bomb on it? Brilliant. No, he's on his boat all the time. Well, what's going on? It's 'cause he's gone. No. Blow up his mum. No, he is on his boat. Stab is me No. Listen. you're not listening.

The movie'll only be twenty minutes as well.

Yeah, so he's sweating and Bob's Bob's onto him, although he doesn't know what he said to Helen Mirren. He still suspects him. Yeah, and he's given him more and more to drink. And then he basically interrogates him and says I know all about Belfast Tell. me what happens to him.

He said Eric's dead. Colin's been stabbed. Me mum's in hospital. Got half a pub.

Yeah, and basically they were making a huge delivery of money for Harris, um which is all linked into the I_R_A_ And. when he delivered the money, when Harris when Colin delivered the money, he took five thousand pounds for himself.

But he said to him like wh why have you gotta give the money? He says well, if I don't do it, they won't build my buildings. It's like can't you just go to the other building people? Or is it just the particular Irish builders are doing it cheaper? But that's why he has to pay him off Otherwise. they won't build his buildings.

And uh he says once he took the five K_ once, Colin took the five K_ they they realised they were short and then three top men were killed that night from the top of the I_R_A_ And. this is why the I_R_A_ think that Bob's linked 'cause Bob's blokes were linked into this money, this missing money and their top three men getting shot. So they immediately think Bob Oskins in London let's go kill him.

I put two and two together, aren't I? Um uh and he's like what? So everyone's been dying because of five grand That's. it.

Yeah.

So he grabs Jeff um and he reveals um he reveals Jeff reveals that Harris blamed Bob. He said it was ju that he's blamed it all on you. It was Harris. And Bob Oskins says oh crush 'em.

I won't believe him. Um but he says it's the I_R_A_ Bob. You can't crush the I_R_A_ And. he goes on and on about what he's gonna do to the I_R_A_ And. then I'm sure.

But he's trying to protect him 'cause although he's done all this stuff, he's like Bob no, you cannot defeat the I_R_A_. He does put him down, yeah, he questions his sort of basket, isn't he?

You know fist, to direct to face. But punch with a glass. That's quite full on. In the neck.

This is the first bit of violence that he's done actually.

And it all flies out of his net, all this blood squirting everywhere. And then immediately hugs him, and he's really sorrowful that he's done it.

Shouldn't have done it Maybe. he wanted out. Maybe he wanted to be killed.

But Bob Bob then I've written here Bob has silent rage 'cause he can see him now he's quiet and he's jus not not a Chuck Norris movie. But and he's very quiet and he's just hugging the dead body of his p his bloke that he's just killed until Helen Mirren pulls up in the car and we hear him go. And he comes out and at least uh one take uh dinner what's going on he just basically just like p p she has to f pull him back and razor has to grab his arm 'cause he's like

give me the keys I'm fucking going. Can you imagine that Bob Hoskins driving mental blood all over him through London aggressively, do not get in his way.

'Cause he says it I know it was Harris I'm, gonna kill him I'm, gonna kill him. So they calm him down like you say. And she says listen listen listen listen listen we can use Harris to stop this war We're. one step ahead now. So if we if we play our cards right Bob Hoskins we can use him to stop this war.

Hoskins shower montage.

So yeah this uh so Bob's obviously covered in his friend's blood. So he goes and has a shower. But they linger on this for a good minute or two. And what saxophone is it playing?

Well then it then it cuts yeah then it it cuts away after about ten seconds. It cuts away to razor and then a mirror and burning the clothes with the blood on it.

And then and then he's soaping himself up.

I was wondering how much Bob Hoskins we were gonna see to be honest, gal. I thought we might see a Super Mario for one point.

Yeah.

Look at him and go like I bet we're in the fucking love Bob Hoskins. He's on all the calendars on the walls. I don't think so.

But you know if this was Mel Gibson, 'cause that saxophone reminds me a bit of the the Lethal Weapon movie. So if this was Mel Gibson they probably would have showed a bit of but. But this is Bob Hoskins. No.

But but Bob Hoskins it's not needed. We need an edit without Bob Hoskins showering.

Quick question for you on the side Nick, gav. Who's got the best but Bob Hoskins um not Bob Hoskins. Sam Sam Elliott or Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon one?

Uh probably Mel Gibson. But I don't remember I'm I'm never actually seen Sam Elliott as bottom. I only threw the jeans you, know.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah Anyway. back to back to this. Um so yeah they, burn the clothing he, showers for quite a quite a long time cleans, all the blood off himself. Um Bob and razors go meet Harris at the hotel. And uh he says right we're gonna go to the stock car racing.

to to to meet up to meet up with Joe. To go meet up with the Irish, the Irish IRA guys. And it's all very speedy now. Um they go there and they go s in yeah, there's a sniper on the roof. Um and it turns out that the guy who's winning the stock car racing is the head of this department of the IRA. And they offer him they offer one of the guys like something like um

and he says, well, you'll need to speak to the boss. He's out there winning the race at the moment. So when the boss comes in, um they all get shot, uh and this causes a big car explosion outside. I think probably 'cause glass and people are worried about the noise of the the gunshots, I'm not sure. Uh but whi this is weird. They they g they give the money, then they just burst in there and they just shoot 'em up. So they fly through the front of the window into the crowd of people who are watching the car derby. But we

don't see how they get away, it just cuts and they're they've got away from it How. how did they get away sneakily from there? Everybody would have seen. Like like how did you get away from there? It's just it's just not the subtlest of things to do. Give more a grand each. So we cut to one of the last scenes now where Bob's at the Savoy hotel. He gets out the

Uh and he goes into the American group and says, how you doing, everything's sorted, I'm happy, all good it is, all tickety-boo, we've we've killed loads of people, there'd be loads of death, it's all good now, let's do business.

And they say no, we're uh we're leaving now. Uh the I've g uh got a strong strong aversion from her, you know, being blown up, her being shot at, being killed, being stabbed. Doesn't sit well with me, so I'm going home. You can't do that, you wankers. He gives them some British British speech now.

Of saying that all they're good for is hot dogs.

and he says I'm glad I've found I've got one quiz which is I'm glad I found out just in time what a what a partnership with a pair of wankers like you would have been. A sleeping partner's one thing, but you two are in a fucking coma. No wonder you've got the energy crisis on your side of the water. And he really goes in on them. And when you if you listen carefully, when he says if I found out just in time what a partnership with a pair of wankers like you would have been, in the background you hear all the crew sniggering if you listen carefully. 'Cause apparently his delivery was just f funny really,

know, he really dresses them down and then he just leaves the room basically, he's flipped it, it's like when when someone goes to dump you and you get a whiff of it and you go well actually, you know, I don't wanna be with you then, then he's kinda flipped it. Yeah, that's right. That's right, the b British working with a grouse, that's right, that's what you've bushed me to. Fucking Americans. And then he leaves. Um they don't care really, to be honest. Uh back outside

he ge uh he gets in his car expecting um Helen's beer there and Razor's to be driving and hang on a minute, it's not whose car am I at, what's going on?

Now this scene it lingers on his face for a very long time.

Pierce Brosnan is driving or in the front seat of the car that's being driven that he's in and he points a gun at him doesn't, say anything.

And then yes um we get a very long period of silent acting from Bob here now, I don't really have.

Yeah so uh how it happened uh the director actually drove the taxi uh because there's no room in the car. So the reason why it's silent for so long got that synth music playing and it does work is because um i the director's driving along the taxi and he's saying out loud uh his intentions like w what have I done to me?

I can't believe this, he's saying his thoughts. So while he's saying his thoughts, his reactions, by whilst his reactions are to the thoughts which are going on. Then at the end it's saying like well you're gonna have t there's nothing you can do about it now, you may as well just fucking go along with it and he kinda sort of smar smirks a little bit and goes oh right they got me, that sort of thing. So that's why it's like that for so long 'cause it the whole way through the director's talking all the way through that. So that's why it's known. So that's that's why it that's why the score is blaring out over this scene as well 'cause it's got all of the audio out, yeah. It's

easy cheap, but it works, it's nice, it's stylish stylish choice as well.

Bob Hoskins' face is m talks about a lot in this this this film, yeah, it's talked about a lot for this part really which is like you say his face goes through like ten different emotions. First of all he's shocked, then he's scared, then he's worried about Helen Mirren, then he realises what's happening, then he smirks that they've finally caught up with him and then finally he's at peace and he accepts his fate and he's probably going to be killed after all of this. And that's it and like I said uh that appears in him never even had shared uh uh a scene together.

Oh well uh they shared actual shooting time together.

to finish on it's quite nice it's James Bond with a gun to finish on. It's quite nice. Uh for T_V_ especially in America they actually cut this heavily and also gave um uh oh no that's a lie they when it was sent out to America they actually gave him a dialogue uh uh thing which went along with the movie so you could understand what was could be instead uh for the keywords 'cause of the sling go.

That's right and they were going to dub him over with another actor another British actor from Wolverhampton. Um.

Well they did. Uh they did uh for the T_V_ cut they cut they cut it quite heavily and they and they said to Bob come in we've got another actor come in it's done your voice and he listened ten minutes of it and he said no you're fucking lost you have. He said to them because in my contract he says you c without me saying yes you can't do that.

Also this film wouldn't be the f the film it is without one of the Beatles, because um when they'd finished the film they were gonna really cut it down and just put it on T_V_ Um. but George Harrison had seen this cut of it and l loved it so much that he went and said you're uh idiots if you don't um lea release this in theatres and I believe he put some of his own money into it as well to help

promote it. Oh, Eric Idle bought it. Oh really, bloody hell. So I had a r hand from a few people then. Yeah well, funny enough, Tom Cruise helps uh the next movie we're talking about. Um uh no Eric, uh Bob went to Eric Idle and said she made a lot of bit of money off that uh money pie for movie. And he said yeah, he goes why don't you buy this for film?

So Eric Rodl bought it. And I love a British movie which is not very gangster. But it does have trigger in it. It does have trigger in it, I think. Or uh Denzil, sorry. Uh yeah, it does, yeah. So Monty Python and the Beatles uh helped get this film to where it is, which is crazy. Now yeah, I messaged R_J_ immediately after watching this and said to him, look, I gotta be honest mate, I'm blown away by this. You know, I I didn't expect

I thought it's gonna be a run-of-the-mill gangster film. I didn't expect it to be an acting master class, and there's very little violence in it. You know, there is violence in it, but because there's very little, when it happens it's quite shocking. Um and the th just the paranoia that goes with Bob's character as you see him go through all of this stuff, you know, and slowly unravel and become the old Bob Hoskins, you know, I've gotta revert back to my my violent past, you know. It's just a crazy

movie and if you've never seen it, it's you're in for a treat honestly, it's just I put it up there with like sorcerer, like I said to you, like wow, just the first time you w especially the the roller coaster and the reveal of it being the I_R_A_, you know, in the last act, and you we know that you can't fuck with the I_R_A_, you know. You know.

Yeah. It's really really good movie. Well worth watching if you haven't seen it. Uh that Mona Lisa that I was looking at, I was just looking at now, that's a a man recently released from prison manages to get a job driving a call girl from customer to customer. Um and I remember seeing that on channel four back in the day on a fro on a Sunday night late and they're supposed to be in bed and I was the sound of the V_H_S_ recording the cycle or trying to get some boobs filmed for later watching. I've just thought of an

British gangster film that I quite like with Phil Collins Buster, I. don't know I'm, not not a fan of i Phil Collins. Uh you know but uh y there's a lot of films out there you, can even go like Italian Job, you know. Which heavily inspires the ending of the next film we'll be covering. Um well look this is an amazing film thank, you I_G_ for for picking this one for us um really great stuff to talk

about. It's definitely a thumbs up from me. Yeah, thumbs up from me. Yeah, fucking thumbs up from Bob Oskins too. Big, airy thumbs up. Yeah. Well there we go. Well, talking of big, airy thumbs up. Bill Murray. Bob Oskins. What What are you doing uh Bill? He's dressed as Super Mario, can I have? Fair enough. What's he got for us today? In in tr

tribute of uh Bob Oskins. Well, let's see what he's got for us today. Let's get ourselves into some World of the Strange, Bill.

Hi, welcome back to World of the Strange.

World of the Strange. Fucking World of the Strange, innit, Geezer?

You fucking slags. You fucking slag. So we are gonna keep it London, we're gonna keep it gangster and we're gonna th have a quick whiz through some of the morning th nickname slags a bit. Oh, slag. Every time we see it yeah,

Um is that the one that you stole quiche with at a host party once? No no, different people. I was a drunk thinking it was pizza. I was fucking surprised when I b ate into it and it was quiche. Just like Charles Bronson. Um so yeah, we're gonna whiz through a a list of notorious gangsters some you may have heard of, some some you w will definitely have heard of, and just a quick snapshot of to some of the naughtiness that they got up to. Yeah, so we'll start off with the the Craig twins.

Little Bastards. Ronny and Reggie crying back here. Born in nineteen thirty three, possibly the most notorious of London's gangsters. Um they terrorised London in the fifties and sixties with their gang which they called the Firm. Uh they they committed murder, armed robbery, arson, protection, rackets and multiple assaults. Both of them were involved in it as well as all of their gangs uh their gang members. Um but despite

being criminals, they basically became celebrities Um. and they owned a western night club. They uh. It's very much very like like casino, isn't it, and stuff, the movie. And this is kinda what Bob Hoskins was doing, you know, he wanted to have this casino, I think, so that uh you know, he would, you know, be legit. They were friends with politicians and entertainers from the fifties and sixties who came to the night clubs and w had

drinks with Derman. So and for London one time after the movie come out met a gangster and he went oh it's not a see one of our own uh you know keeping it real uh keeping it real in a p cinema and he's like I'm not one of you I'm an actor. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not weird.

Yeah. Um and one of them used to like carry around a sword.

fuck you, know. And there's if you if anyone wants to see it, there's a couple of movies. There's The craze um with the Kemp brothers. But there's also really good one with um Tom Hardy who played both both as a legend which, is brilliant for him as well. Um uh the cra they were convicted in nineteen sixty nine in each sentence to life imprisonment. Uh Raleigh was in Broadmoor hospital until he died in ninety five from a heart attack and Reggie was released from prison on compassionate grounds as he had

cancer, but he died nine weeks later, and that was in the year two thousand. So that was the the old craze everyone's heard of there, might expect though. Let's uh let's let let's move through a couple we might not have heard of, such as Jack the Spot Comer Jack. Comer. So he's before the the c the craze. He was the man at the centre of the gangland in the thirties and the forties and fifties. He called himself the king of Olgate.

King of old gang. Joined his first gang when he was seven. Seven years old Gav, what were you doing when you were seven? I certainly wasn't joining gangs. When he was fifteen he got a job as a runner for some bookies, and then one year later he started working protection rackets on Petticoat Lane. It's proper casino, innit? It's crazy. Crazy.

Good feathers, sorry.

Absolutely crazy Um.

Uh he he said apparently if he wasn't gonna do well at the bookies, he would make off with the punters um winnings before they could collect it from him. Yeah. And he also ran a con game called take your pick, where he paid people to pull a straw and obviously shorter straw is the loser, but he never ever lost. Hmm. I think he might have been fixing that game. Uh he retired from a life of crime and died in nineteen ninety

He raked in loads of money, uh lived in a huge flattened mile of owned, was always seen in sharp suits, and he drove a Cadillac convertible. Yeah. And apparently he always used his trademark weapon, which was a barbarous cut-throat razor. Fucking hell, that's proper old-school. Fucking hell Horrible. I love the names as well. Jack the Spot. The next one is Jack the Hat. C of course you're

Jack the Hat MacVity. Yeah, Jack the... Lad. Uh this is so Jack the Hat MacVity is the man who's said to have brought down the dang full of the t Kray twins. Uh ended up in prison. He was a hit man, an enforcer and a drug trafficker with links to the Kray's gang, the firm, uh which paid him to commit crimes on its behalf. So he's kind of free, that's a bit like Boba Fert. He worked for the

little bit, but also was his own man. He worked for anyone that paid him basically, Gav. Um he was murdered by Reggie Crain nineteen sixty seven, but it didn't go quite to plan because the gun jammed and Reggie ended up just having to stab him to death. So he tried to shoot him, the gun jammed, then Reggie ended up stabbing him to death.

like each other very much. No, not not at all. What about Billy Hill? Not Ben Not. Benny Hill Not. Benny Hill. Billy Hill.

Yeah. And he was in um ch ch ch ch, yeah. He was the toy maker. Oh, not that one. Um so yeah, Billy Hill. Um infamous name in the London underworld, from the twenties through to the sixties. He was involved with smuggling, production, rackets and of course extreme violence. Uh he had a

criminal family, and he committed his first stabbing at the tender age of fourteen. Fucking hell. Yeah, that's they're doing that now though, aren't they on the streets of London? At that age, so. You got a lot of stabbings past couple of weeks. Well, it's that woman that stabbed her children. Yeah. Yeah.

Um Billy Hill started out as a house burglar, but worked his web the criminal ladder uh doing smash and grab rain, rain, s yeah. Tking. Uh he was behind the East Castle Street postal van robbery where he stole he s he stole two hundred and eighty seven thousand pounds which which equates now to seven point five eight million in today's money. It's not bad at all.

Uh and in nineteen fifty four he organised a forty thousand pound bullion heist No. one was ever com no one was ever convicted of these robberies. I'm not quite sure. Maybe other people have sort of brassed him up Um. he fleeced millions from rich people at casinos in clever scams and he retired from the life of Prime in the seventies and died in nineteen eighty

four He. probably wrote a book to, be honest. They didn't like them, didn't they? My first stab in by Billy Hill, chapter one. I stuck a fall in it. Not from Benny Hill, that's different. Let's talk about the Richardson gang. Charlie and Eddie Richardson, pair of brothers who headed up the Richardson gang. Uh they were known as also known as the torture gang.

Their members had a reputation as some of London's most sadistic gangsters. Uh they were rival gang to the Cray twins uh and they were based in south London in the sixties. They used a scrap metal business and a fruit machine company as fronts for their criminal empire. You can imagine that in a movie can't, you? Take him out back amongst the ping pong tables. Uh the Richardson gang were known to have

mock trials to punish and intimidate people. The trials always resulted in torture which was called taking a shirt from Charlie. Oh I don't wanna take a shirt from Charlie. The reason it was called this is that Charlie Richardson would beat the victim so bloody that he would then give him a clean shirt and make him walk home in the clean shirt so that no one suspected it, although they were probably bleeding from their face and head. Yeah.

Um they were alleged to have pulled people's teeth out with pliers, cut off people's toes with bolt cutters, and they even nailed some of their victims to the floor using six inch nails and gave them electric shocks until they passed out. Fucking hell. This is in the sixties three and sixties of London. Let it let it let it see the powers Hey.

Um Charlie died in twenty twelve, and his brother Richard Eddie Richardson is um still alive. And he's currently eighty nine years old F. backing up. Now you may have heard that the next one Franky Frank's uh Franky fucking Fraser. Also known as Mad Franky Fraser. Yeah. He's a bodyguard he's a bodyguard for Billy

So he's so hard, he was a bodyguard for Billy Hill, and then he became a member of the Richardson gang. So he's equa he's linked to two of these other gangs here.

And he ended up spending forty two years in prison for violent crimes. Um he's he had various methods of torture, pulling out teeth with pliers. Apparently he invented doing that.

Didn't he claim it did, he one day?

Fucking Frankie Fraser Specialize. Um he was actually certified insane on two occasions Spent. spent time in Broadmoor hospital. Then he became a bit of a T_V_ celebrity. He appeared on T_V_ shows Operation Good Guys. He was also on Shooting Stars. And and the channel four show Brass Eye.

Amazing.

This is what I've smashed his face and it ripped his teeth out of this alleyway. Yeah, it's fucking great. You can see the blood on the floor there look, Scary, wasn't it? I was supposed to go uh it's a connection, I was supposed to go on a gangster tour of London with um Fingma Jiggy from Rock, Stock, Two, Smoke and Barrels. He's the guy that takes you takes you round. Um uh he's not the pussy cat to uh drink the milk. Yeah, boy breaker. He's the guy that takes you round the gangster

Oh, I'da been too scared to go around with him for like an hour.

What a great character.

Uh yeah, and I was gutted. So he must be there. Wait, c where is this gab blown in?

Oh god, Covid. So I missed out.

She's delivery is delivery's good.

Yeah, so good. I just feel sorry for the n the Greek every time he goes around there. Um moving on then to George Cornell.

He met his maker when he was shot by Ronnie Craig at the Blind Burger pub in Whitechapel.

But this murderer got the second Craig to in convince uh sentence to life in prison. But before his death though, he was an enforcer for the Richardson gang which we've talked about. Uh so all of these guys went off to you know they're all linked in with each other. Um he was childhood friend of the Craig's but joined a rival gang. He's comparantly completely fearless, one of the most fearless gangsters in London history.

Apparently um Ronnie Craig shot him in the top of his forehead, right above his right eye.

The bullet passed right through him and he was taken to hospital where he was still swearing and sort of having a go at people before he died. So even with a bullet that had gone in the front of his head and like the back, he was still still at the hospital going I'll get that fucking Craig, I tell you, sew me up, I'll get out of there.

Yeah. So you're about to leave this this the the the small time you've had on this planet's going. Enjoy it. Stop swearing.

Stop being moody. We are we are as humans we are all stupid. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

he was a son of an immi immigrant Italian father and an English mother born in Saffron Hill. He controlled the best pictures at each race horse uh rac each horse race. And he had his men guarding the bookies under his power. And the bookies were only allowed to keep half of each pound they made. It's not good, is it? Um as well as making money from the race course protection rackets, he was also associated with many other criminal activities and ran multiple nightclubs around

Apparently his gang used civilian gunmen and razor attacks to terrorise people. A lot of razors sliced and diced him with razors. Uh apparently one policeman apparently stated that he and his thugs used to stand sideways on to let the bookmakers see that they'd have hammers in their pockets.

you know, so if you try and run, don't try and take the money, got a fucking hammer in my pocket sunshine, alright. Uh he is is. That's seen in old boy. Oh we're just there any time there's a hammer involved. Unless you're Thor. For some reason Thor doesn't seem to kill people this time. Uh it's it's. Eventually he became a bookie himself uh running um a re relatively

Bucky shop and he died in nineteen fifty in Hove near Brighton running his own little um betting shop. So he came pretty clean in the end. Now I went down more of a rabbit hole with the gangs but obviously as you're getting into more modern day it's not not nice I mean none of this is nice obviously but yeah, sadly gangs are still a thing that's happening and they're actually probably just as brutal now.

They're always will be gangs. Always.

Um and yeah, knife crime is fucking appalling. We don't we're lucky that we don't have the gun problem that America and some of the other world has got. But we have got terrible knife crime problems here in the U_K_ particularly in London and recently in Bristol like like we said but, mainly in l in London there's so much knife crime it's horrendous. And not just knife like you you see C_C_C_T_V_ people with machetes having to go at other people I'm. I worry about my kids and I worry for the youth man out there you, know

don't guys do not carry knives please, because it's just a horrendous thing to have on you and and to have used against you. Oh Jesus, gangs.

The only good gangs were gangster rappers back in the day Gav. 'Cause they weren't really you know gangs they, were just rapping about it. A little bit.

Yeah. It's like a little family, isn't it? Yeah. I was in a gang once. Uh I was gonna ask you if you've ever been in a gang. Yeah, it wasn't a very good gang. Um I was about t nine or ten? It was me, uh Dan obviously, my friend Martin, and another boy called Aziz, M_A_D_ So. we called ourselves the Mad

gang. And all we used to do was sit in Martin's shed and read comic books and sort of chat. Do the most we did was we got a knife, I mean s we carved M_A_D_ do not enter on the door, and then Martin's mum went nuts. So why have you done that to the shed door? Your dad's gonna kill you Oh. for God's sake I was like whoa whoa whoa. So that's that's that's that

dunno. So they s lea they don't do that. How the hell is it?

Be with a mad gang.

Have you you're not ever been in a gang then, for the scheme of a gang. Or well, well I've always been in skateboard cruises all the time so, but uh d we never said we were in a gang. So I dunno, just go skate.

I mean it lasted for one summer I think this, gang I was in. It was literally the six week school summer holiday. We were just hanging out in a shed.

That would have been very good if we had. Or not. Depending on what you what you're into. Well there we go gangs, Bill have, you ever been in a gang?

Have you been you've been in a gang, not a gang-bang Oh? Jesus Christ What? Hang on, he's saying that he was in a gang-bang and they crossed the streams. Is that a weird Ghostbusters sexual orgy reference? What do you mean cross the st oh, cross the streams. Shh.

Uh I um we came to Bernie's situation. What were you doing with it? Where did you take it? To Toys R' Us What? were you doing with a dead body at Toys R' Us? Weird. I think he should get us out of there. Get us out of there, Bill.

Next week though. Gimme iron. Hairless pets. Weird.

If you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping, you're up here shoplifting. Bacon. Did you say ten pounds? That's a bargain, I'll tell you one. Eddie. Two two, join me in my office. Fat man. Sup. Four friends. With a money making scheme. I'm sure you can afford the twenty five. I'm gonna afford it as long as I see it again. That's quick. Easy. I'll have you silly dad. And very expensive.

I'll see you for half a million.

Alright then, Manny. All young fellas getting deeper than they could handle. I am panicking. How would me half a million pound? God woulda give you one week to find it. Let me tell you about it, Eddie Aaron. If Aaron don't kill you, then your father will. I've got a plan. However, you are these fellas. You can hit 'em as soon as they come back. They will be prepared waiting. We're on.

Right, where was we?

Guns for show.

Lights for a pro.

Good God knows how much it is stinking weight. Is this a declaration of war? It's a shit load of cash.

And a traffic order.

Uh, I hate traffic orders.

Look, stock at two smoking barrels. Ninety ninety eight, eighteen, an hour and forty seven minutes. Eddie persuades his three pals to pull money for a virtual poker game against the powerful local mobster, Hatchet Harry. Eddie loses, after which Harry gives him a week to pay back five hundred and thousand pounds, you fucking monkeys.

You mugs. Um yeah, well let's let's read out R_J_'s um little piece about this and then uh we'll get into some uh guy richness. So R_J_ says, lock stock and two smoking barrels. It's a deal. It's a steal. It's the deal of the fucking century.

I'm just reading his you know, he's quoting here. In fact Nick, I think I'll keep it. There you go. I thought you'd s I'd start you guys with a quote because this is the power and the impression of this film Wh. wh whenever I mention lock stock to anyone you, can't help but start really off the quote. Yep, much like our beloved classic such as Big Trouble and Little China, the burbs jewels, dog soldiers, et cetera. Now I mention dog soldiers because personally I think the two films book end nicely together Obviously.

completely different genres, but I'm talking about the well-written scripts, the characters, the quotes, and the pace. Every scene complements the next to a climactic final, much like a fuse leading its way towards the powder keg at the end. Uh he says I won't get into the film too much, as always I'll leave that to you guys, but suffice to say I am a big fan, and he ends with it's been emotional. It is it is a quote

this film, isn't it? Absolute quote-a-thon. Incredible stuff. Gav, when did you first see Lockstock?

Uh b when it first came out but, it would have been on D_V_D_ so, I was twenty one. So I was a very good age for watching this film Um. yeah, very hard out on d I can't remember. I can't remember. I brought it out as friends and I got together.

I'm gonna add some beers add, some joys I imagine and watched it.

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't get to sit in the cinema either, but I remember there was a guy that I knew who were very it was a bit of a w it was before internet well, it's not internet is there, but we didn't have it like we do now. Um b uh it's it was a bit of word of a mouth really, it's a sort of a have you seen this movie? Fucking hell, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is this is yeah, a comparison it's like Tarantino at the same time when pulp fiction came out that soundtrack being massive all, raised by dogs. Mainly more pulp fiction. Uh uh funny enough, I already used to put Guy Ritchie at like our kind of more youthful, energetic, childish British version of Quentin Tarantino in a way.

Yeah. A lot of energy. Yeah.

Um so I ended up taking a chance, and I just got back from Hong Kong uh with a suitcase full of cocaine no, a suitcase full of Jackie Chan V_C_D_s. How do you remember this so much like uh th th th th that you were watch this movie and what was going on. So I got back from Hong Kong and I had all these Jackie Chan movies on V_C_D_ which is video compact disc Didn't. really sell those over here. But you could play them on a D_V_D_ player.

ordered a D_O_ I needed a D_V_D_ player, so I bought a D_V_D_ player just because I had all these Jackie Chan movies. Massive thing, it was huge, the first D_V_D_ players that came out. So it's about two thousand, I was about twenty years old, and then I said to my girlfriend at the time, oh, I tell you what, I'll go out and buy some D_V_D_s. So I went out and I bought two D_V_D_s. My first D_V_D_ I ever bought was lock, stock and two smoking barrels, so I'd never even seen it. And that's how I know this story, because you always remember the first D_V_D_ you

I do. Oh, I do. Oh, nice. Uh I think Enter Dragon and possibly um um uh the horror movie um ho House on Hoard Hill, but a remake. Right not really really random, yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, so that's how I remember it, and that's why I've got a really weird clear plastic case, because that was what D_V_D_s came in first of all They. didn't really come in the North standard. Um so yeah. Easy. Mm-hmm.

you know, uh there's a lovely thing with the editing style for it and stuff, the editor himself actually was a music uh made music videos um and that's what Howard did and stuff like for example the montage when they got drunk uh they they put that together and they're like oh we're kinda making a music video uh in a movie, then they tested it and test audiences loved 'em getting drunk 'cause you gotta remember this was also the British time of the late mid to late nineties where it was like fucking Brit pop and

drunk and Oasis and all that stuff was a big thing as well. So um the British audiences liked them getting drunk, so they cut that scene in a bit more. Um this guy Richard's first film um he had worked his way up, he never went to film school, he worked his way up from um being like a runner in the film department, he just went straight into working in films, which is kind of the best way to do it to be honest, if you can tips if you're fifteen and you're listening to this, probably not, and you wanna uh probably best thing to do is just get in the apprenticeship and just go straight

in, to be honest with you. Um each hard film score didn't work out for him. Um from he worked his way up to making music videos, uh for money for making that he put in to making a movie called The Hard Case which is a short film twenty minutes long which is like a precursor, all kinda showed this it was basically the card playing scene in the movie. Um so yeah and um that got seen um uh the script kinda got out there and it was a bit of a different script

for people like everyone as I started talking about in London say have you had this script is I just wasn't it was just uh really fresh and different. Um and um they they had the chance with like some Italian producers came on board and then they pulled they pulled and they literally already those people lined up to go. Ray Winston was gonna play Harriet Hatchet and then Italian producers pulled out and I think it was a case of like can't hang around.

Um, and they were out again, which I bet they're gutted with now 'cause it would've made so much money and they're probably like oh, shit Um. so other people came on board. Um um yeah, uh it's the script started off at twenty million, uh with no one, you know, on on no like big names really. Sting was there, but Sting's a music name, he's not an actor name. So it's quite a weird one and Vinnie Jones' first film, so it's bit of a weird one really. Um a first time director as

well, uh Well Vinny Jones uh just quickly the reason he ended up being in it is because he'd heard that there was a script going around with a description of one of the characters in it that said hard man football thug style bit like Vinny Jones. And he was banned from football at the time because of violent behaviour, so he had nothing else to do to make money, so he said well I'll I'll have a go at that then. So it was him being let out of prison uh let out of the

police cell for uh uh f beating up his neighbour and um and this first scene was the door scene, smashing the door in. And there's a wooden block there. They put a wooden block, that's what you're smashing into. But the cameraman's down there filming it and Guy Ritchie said to Vinnie Jones scare, the shell out of the cameraman for me.

Absolutely. Um so this started off as a twenty million movie, it went down to eight hundred thousand. That's a little bit different.

That's that's less than one million. So that's uh one twentieth less of the uh original idea of the film. And so that's why like Ray Winston is out and the sort of stuff like that Um. so they thought of that thought of that guy from uh the the old driver from the good Long Good Friday for Harry the Hatchet. Um a lot of actors around in London were excited when this came out. Uh there was a real buzz around all the youth actors thought fucking hell have you heard about this movie, it's getting made Um. it's

a new London gangster movie, da-da-da-da, and it's just really getting, you know, it helped the whole the finance come on. Even though it was not financed yet, it helped things come together a bit more.

Uh yeah Matthew, Vaughan produced who went on to make a lot of different films as well didn't, he? It's he it's he directed he directed all the old uh King's men films. 'Cause that they feel like sort of Guy Ritchie type of films as well don't, they? Yeah. Yeah yeah, um and he's gone on he directed some of the X_ men movies as well, so he's gone into a lot of superhero stuff now as well.

Yeah, totally. And uh Guy Ritchie's gone on to make loads of good movies um and bad movies. Uh recently he's been a little bit like yeah, I'll make a good one then like oh, not very good one. Gentlemen, great movie. Then he made a couple of movies which they're like uh not as good. Pretty cheap dialogue in them actually. Um uh when they're filming this movie, you know like generally in most movies you sort of check the dailies and go back to a screen in cinema screen, check out what they do. They were what they were getting in a van and watching uh on a V_C_R_ a Polish t

T_V_ watching little bits and as long as they had a picture come out they're like great let's move on 'cause that's how they check it. So it's really like you, know no, budget no, money f, fucking let's just get in this van and just watch it. Can you see it? Great. Carry on. You know. I don't know. I don't like the colour palette at all on this. It's n no, it's horrible. Uh-huh. And

Uh-huh.

And they would cho they chose a particular type of stock which would um saturate the colours a bit so, it all looks a bit yellow and brown. Do you not?

I quite like it.

Uh basically no, everyone was passing on it and the producer b this is this is good though, isn't it really. The producer's friends are Tom Cruise and happen to be staying at her house in America. Like this producer that come on board I p I don't know if afterwards or what, 'cause it seems like a bit of a big producer, a bit of clout. So maybe she came on after the film was made. I think that might have been the case Anyway. So no uh one was really bothered by it. Um all the act all the p audience members had

to do test screenings liked it, were laughing and they knew they had something here, but all like people who would buy the film marketers would were not interested. So sh this is from around Tom Cruise said, can you go down do me a favour just go to go down watch a movie and he's like send me a screen and she's like no no no can, you go down. So when is it it's like six and it's like four o'clock, so what it's like two hours you want me to go alright, I'll do it for you 'cause apparently Tom Cruise is very good like this.

and uh he went down there apparently everyone was just gotta sitting around and as soon as Tom Cruise walked into the screen room they all went oh my god and uh and they all just looked up and then Tom Cruise apparently laughed all the way through it. Then again he's a bit manic already isn't, he? Scientologist and all that shit is fucking yeah, I'm Tom Cruise I'm. uh I'm sure he's a lovely guy, but he is a bit fucking out there. And uh just laughing over the whole thing and after as he said every none of you guys by this movie are crazy and walked out and apparently then it went into like a

I'm binning frenzy.

Because if Tom Cruise tells you to do something in Hollywood you, kinda do it really 'cause he does sell films, he knows what sells films, you know what I mean.

So, you know, if it wasn't for him you, never know he, might've this movie might just spin up my nose underground movie, go oh, if you see that movie it's really good, but it'd have been a slow thing. But because of him, this would gave like great notoriety and big pop popularity and helped the uh music universal, whoever it was, I don't think it was universal, whoever it was, a polygram maybe, something like that, come on board to help with the soundtrack for it, because before it would have been harder to secure so many songs. But as soon as you get Tom Cruise in there, you know, so basically Deadbolt, when we

making it a feature film, we need to produce to be friends with Tom Cruise. It helped with that.

I'll get him to stay over my house uh, help babysit the twins. I bet he's I bet he's amazing I. bet he can fucking ba I just I just say stuff and they're asleep. Uh well done and that's 'cause I'm Tom Cruise. Um and of course this spawned the career as we said of Guy Ritchie and Guy Ritchie does have a s a a style which hasn't is kind of dwindled a bit in his last few films, but in his first few films it was very quick cuts um rough and

ready, um lots of violence but done in a cool way, like you said quite Tarantino-y very, he's very uh you can feel that the um the influence of Tarantino and particularly his first two or three movies.

I think he went downhill with Marion Madonna.

Uh a a weird mo moment didn't, he?

Um which which is great yeah, Brad Pitt, you know, we've still got big big people in that one.

I then went to watch his next big film after well I didn't I didn't see Swept Away at the cinema but, I did see Revolver with Jason fucking saved. Absolutely terrible film Thankfully. he redeemed himself with um rock and roller which I quite enjoyed.

Yeah, it's not amazing but, at the time I remember enjoying it uh going back it was mm so so.

Yeah.

Yeah, weird. He then uh he made some Madonna videos but, he then made Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr. and Duke Law. I really disliked them and I I don't know why I, just really didn't didn't like the first one. Um I do I think I've seen the second one Game of Shadows. Um just not a big fan of them. Um I tell you what I am a fan of though, he did then go and make The Man from Uncle in twenty fifteen w and I thought that was brilliant.

Yeah, I've got on Blu-ray 'cause I came out with one of those massive halls of Blu-rays I got last year Um. and I I kept hold of it 'cause I was like I'll go watch that again 'cause I enjoyed 'em.

His career then started going a bit funny. He did King Arthur Legend. of the Sword which, I've never seen uh in twenty seventeen. He then um directed Disney's Aladdin with Will Smith. What a strange place to go to but, uh I remember reading.

Well, I remember reading Guy Ritchie directing a Disney film. What what's next? Tarantino directing Dumbo wha wha. Um and then he then came back to what where we know him from Uh. he made The Gentleman. which you and I he found off. It's brilliant though. Uh and the next movie he did which you don't like but I did was

wrath of man. For some reason I remember you not really enjoying that as much.

Uh I was watching it and um the dialogue was like I was like what? Uh uh things were pulling me from the film because certain words were said and I was like that's s clunky. It's like poetry f for a fucking minter or something. What what are you doing? And I looked it up and it was like written by these two guys. I was like why are you not writing it You? do good. Why are you why are you getting these people in there to do have watched your movies together? We could do that like you can. Okay, thanks. And uh

it put me off. Uh yeah. And then the next one he did it, was it was all right. Oh no I've not seen that sorry, No. the next one. Yeah it, was yeah it's got bitches alright, but again I think it's those those two same writers I was like s please don't. But the gentleman's just come out to the T_V_ show, it's coming out in the next couple of days on Netflix. But yeah. Well check it out.

Yep. Who did it for? Yeah he, did it. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well we're, real swift again Well. maybe it could be a uh I'll do one for you just to make shitloads of money and then I'll just do some more for me.

Yeah. Well that's what w what's what what um Ben uh Affleck said in um Alright, this was something, wasn't it. So there we go. So let's very quickly talk about the the um cast and then we'll get into some uh smoking barrels. So we got Jason Fleming who is a great actor, career's been all over the place, but he's great actor and he placed home in this Dexter Fletcher, who I've always loved ever since he was in press gang. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know the one you

But if you look at her nowadays, uh her sister looks more like she you'd imagine what she'd look like now.

Yeah, they're they're twins, aren't they?

Uh that's, mine then. Um so yeah, Dexter Fletcher plays soap. We got Nick Moran as Eddie. He's kind of pretty much the main character really in this. Um but the the shining light really, uh and it was his first movie. Stay from his bakery. He does skinny, young. He's not muscly, yeah. Um yeah. Um it's really I remember thinking this when Aftis came out um and this is t again before we had the fucking smartphone in your pocket. Um thinking I I'm going at all that main person from

stock, not really seen him in anything and, imagine that I thought he was gonna blow up.

Uh Nick Moran. Yeah. Yeah, he's done a few bits involved but, no. And then rai randomly Jason, Statham turned into an action hero. Yeah. Well I remember trains uh the transporter and the transporter the transporter came out It's. a cross between train spotted and transformers. Uh yeah. I remember that came out and I was thinking what the guy from Lockstock is in is in a m

movie in, it was amazing. Um obviously Vinnie Jones we've talked about how he got the role and he's amazing in this as well, really good. And then yeah we got Lenny um Lenny McLean as ba Barry the Baptist who never got to see the finished film 'cause he died a month before it it shot his finished shooting. I read his book once by the time Lenny McLean's book and it it's quite a big book and I was oh it's quite a big book and but the font is almost like and then I let's turn the page starting to next

run okay, after okay, I gave up yeah, smoking yeah, cigarettes uh f okay alright, and then yep, oh I yep, next page started yep, two box okay, 'cause uh why is this fun said being that his mates are a bit fic I reckon. Yeah, that's why the font was so b it was just like this is crazy big font I c and that's why the p no I got through the book really quickly. It's

okay, okay, okay, people are like yeah, look at that, speech reader and I'm reading Lenny McLean's book.

And then there was loads of pictures in the middle Um. we've also got um P_H_ Moriarty that which we said who played Raze who's in the last movie and he plays Roger Horay. Vaz yeah, he based on uh Rory Breaker.

Yeah, knowing that we were doing this, I would've taken my recorder and said go on, so it's like this is Rory Breaker, don't you, a podcast on Hordill, you know.

Styn.

Pank. I hate Pank He's. just run those like a little ferret, isn't he? If it's just a little fweasel ferret, like oh girl why, I don't wanna know you. Um.

Billed with great characters this, movie. Um uh we've all got very cool names Barry, the Baptist, Harry that, yeah.

Yeah, bless him. There's a he's got a traffic warden back here. He's got like a cleric coming back to back his head. I feel so sorry for him. Let's get into it. It starts off like an episode of Only Fools and Horses again. I've seen this actually in Only Fools and Horses, exactly this. Banter with a suitcase selling stuff which is next, then the police come along. And uh they have to scarper.

So the narration over the top of this is by old uh Alan Ford um who kind of introduces us to these characters. And again it's all done in a very cool way. And it's always done in a and we get the impression that this is slightly an exaggerated reality, you know, just from the way like they c they call him Bacon. He's been inside PlayStation so often people started to call him a policeman.

It's playful and it's comical and you know what you're getting. You're kind of getting into like y you know you're gonna get in sort of sort of gangster thing. But you're kind of like oh this is gonna be a good fun. Let's go get some popcorn and you know let's turn the logs down. But kind of enjoy enjoyable though. It's it's accessible for multiple people.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, so Bacon is selling loads of nonsense on the street. This is Jathan Statham and he sort of like is May Eddie uh pretends to be one of the punters in the crowd. He goes oh oh I'll buy one off yeah yeah yeah. Bloody oh that's a good bargain. That makes everybody else wanna start buying whatever it is he's nonsense he's selling them. And then all of a sudden the roses shower the roses. I haven't heard that one in a while, rozzers. I don't know why the police are called the rozzers.

Don't know? Yeah. Um and we get the soundtrack kick-in and we get the freeze frames and the slow motions and all the guy richisms that were so amazing at the time. We'd never seen anything like this you, know. Um. Well yeah, that's true. And the soundtrack of course um you know every song is a banger really in this. You know it's all

The editor might have well been working with him before doing music videos and they might have actually got a style already going on.

Tom Cruise might have been everybody.

With a mask like Mission Impossible.

And Vin Diesel. In a in a van full of diesel. Do you reckon Vin Diesel drives a van full of diesel?

Most vans take diesel, Vin Diesel.

Possibly enjoys this van around it with diesel in it.

Why diesel? Gavi petrol.

I'm I'm Gavi four star. That's not any more is, it? Gavi unlettered.

Gavi petrol.

Danny petrol. Danny petrol. He sounds like a character Danny. He sounds like a fucking god. Danny petrol.

J_ v yeah, Gavi unlettered's boring. Do you hear about Danny petrol? I'm Gavi lectured.

Ooh. Gavi hybrid.

Ooh hello.

It's like Danny Dyer though isn't, it? Well anyway they run away from the cops um like I said we get this narration and he introduces them both. So we've got um uh Bacon and we've got Eddie and then we meet Tom, played by Jason Fleming uh who's with Nick the Greek uh who's a character who pops up quite a few times hilariously throughout this film and he's trying to sell Nick a stereo and uh Nick the Greek basically buys themselves absolutely everything just like everybody in this film really. Um

this is what he says about it's a it's a st it's a deal of the sens deal of the century. In fact I'll probably keep it and he's like well I'll buy it, but where are the speakers? He goes uh don't come with the speakers. It's just a stereo. No speakers. You know, I'll throw in this shitty red phone for an extra tenor. Um and it turns out they've all got these four friends have all got twenty five thousand pounds each in cash. And they go and meet the fourth of their gang who is soap.

It's because apparently uh Nick who plays Eddie Eddie apparently is a very very very good card player not, just normally good, just exceptionally good. I uh I don't think these lads are gonna be part of twenty five grand uh uh nearly willy, you know, unless they thought it was a sure fire bet that he is gonna come in at the races so, to speak.

especially especially soap soap, who's the fourth member. He's a chef, he uh he runs a restaurant and they call him soap because he likes to keep his hands clean. He doesn't get involved in any criminal activities. Even here. Yeah it's, on my own. Yeah. Um yeah, this is a riff on uh this is definitely a riff on Beverly Hills Cop, isn't it Like? Jesus, Billy, we gotta talk. It's like it there's

definitely a Billy from Beverly Hills got there, because the quiet one is suddenly the one who's twice the price, you know. Um but yeah, they've all got this t this twenty five K_ and yeah, like you say, it's because Eddie is gonna go and play this this card game where the entry to the poker game is a hundred K_ but, it's big stakes and he's so good he can probably win, you know, win this um this card game so, it's a great open for movie, it's quite intriguing. And it bonds them

together 'cause you got these four friends in a gang um you know they're not a gang gang but they they're all sort of four different guys and they're clubbing together at twenty five K_ which has a lot of money you know. And he rings up Harry the Hatchet. 'Cause Harry's uh Harry basically is putting the game on. It's doesn't doesn't it's just doesn't seem like a sort of character you wanna be dealing with though to be honest with you. But maybe it's the only person playing a game at such big s mistakes Anyway. he rings up and says

Oh, is that you boy, is it? Have you got the money? Or if you got the money, you've got the money. That sort of thing and, he just lets it I. just hangs out and he says wha, so what's going on? I guess I'm in. Yep.

Who's his like fucking d like second in it, yeah.

And he says to him, what do you know about this kid that goes who's your fucking top notch geezer? He's great at cards, probably too good. We have to keep an eye on him. He could be a fucking liability. And basically he's got a reputation out here of like always winning poker and being really good. Uh. Yeah. So there we go.

we then get this low wide shot establishing uh our environment of where we're gonna be a lot later on and it it m we need this because of certain elements for the film's story. So this wide shot shows low wide shot shows these buildings got a taxi firm in the middle which w we'll come into play in a bit but then we got our boys on the right hand side but on the left of the taxi firm we've got basically another group of guys about four of 'em whatever all look a bit dodgy and they've just turned up and they

go into there. So we know that they are pretty much neighbours, so to speak.

Yeah, and um Ba Bacon and Eddie live in this little place next door to them and they they say we know that they're drug dealers next door. They're pr they're not very nice guys. I mean the leader of the gang next door is called Dogg and he's got a mate called Plank who's been established. I know I. care now Um. but they're like they're not just drug dealers. They're like they beat people up a lot and th th th th.

gotta say with this movie, it's very well-cast Dog. uh has a look. I kind of I dunno, there's something about him I'm scared of. If I even met him now, I'd be c it's that kind of like his turtle ring neck jumper sort of thing, his cur hair pulled down um curled down combed down, sort of grey in a bit and it's just something about him that I does not sit nice The. other old fucking plank like he could fuck off a little weasel. But Dog, Dog's just like something about him

Even when Dog's got a p shotgun pointing to the back of his head letter on, he goes, I'll find you Oh. yeah, I'll find you He's. not scared. No. And it's really well-cast He. just looks like someone you could actually meet He's. not he's not up there with the g big gangsters, but he's the sort of guy in the pub, but in the tour de if you look wrong way, look at him, because you fucking look at him. Do you want me to next finger heads in the tiles He's. that sort of character. We are now introduced to another group of very posh boys uh. Uh-huh.

before that we are uh we actually Jason Statham says, sh come here. And he lets uh whatever's uh here that you can he these walls are very thin and you can hear them talking about whatever they're talking about next hall. And that'll be the huge part of the world. Yeah, uh everything in here moves uh s uh as a story should in a film, moves everything along for a reason quite quickly. Yeah. Um so yes, we meet Charles, Jay, and hmm?

And and Winston, who are all very posh probably got daddy's money. Um I know. Chill Winston. That's a s that's a good thing. Yeah. And they basically they've got a big warehouse that they grow. They grow so much weed. They've basically got an Amazon rainforest of weed growing.

assume that these dudes are fucking operating this by themselves, we're not really thinking anything more of it, but later on we're gonna find out mister Rory Breaker is actually their uh fucking their boss. But we don't know this yet.

They're. very sloppy though um, and they don't really worry about security when plank comes to buy weed. goes literally goes out to get a f a c goes literally goes out to get a fertilizer comes back hours later uh with a c unconscious Gloria. And what what are you doing? Oh a a money machine, a money counter, and you've come back on fertilizer eight hours later and a unconscious Gloria. Alarm bells are ringing.

like he's like probably the biggest server on the bunch of see? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and playing we find out playing co this happens sorry this happens a lot, especially like still does, especially like in America now 'cause you get also many different weed growth stuff Back. in the day when it was uh obviously more legal and stuff that all the farmers that have grown out really in the deep parts of the woods where there's no sort

law, that shit would happen. People just come and just take stuff, you know.

So um Plank is one of their customers who buys weed from them regularly um which we'll be linking up a few of the plots later as well. We're then introduced to Big Chris and Little Chris.

Lorde I love the way that the song which Lorde Fines sampled it and just did the track which is incredible. I just love that loop. So good. Play the play the bass. Yeah. Good song.

He is kind of again a bit of a boba-fat. He works for Hatcher Harrie. But but he works for anyone that hates him. Yeah yeah yeah, he's a he's a Mandalorian really, isn't he? Yeah. So he's been sent to this tuning shop.

to collect a debt for Harry. And there's a guy on the sunbeds, his name's John, and he opens the sunbed and the last thing you wanna see when you're in your sunbed and you're just your t your speedos is uh if any Jones open up and look have a look at you, he goes now that is a fucking glorious ten you are sporting there, my sunshine. And then he slams it down on his head and he swears and he goes oi, don't you swear my sun's here with me? He goes Jesus Christ, that enclosed

money. And basically he says to him, you owe um Hatchet Harry some money and I'm here to take it from him. Uh and then he says his son goes, fucking hell dad, he's got more than a monkey in here. Which I don't know how much a monkey is, five hundred quid in his wallet, is that that's a monkey. Yeah. And then he goes up to he goes up to uh he goes up to he goes, fucking hell John. And that's where I get it from and I still say that and, hell to people, fucking hell John. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

'Cause Vinnie James is like, don't use language like that. So funny. Um we cut back to our four main lads and they're in a bar, which is Eddie's dad's bar. And who is Eddie's dad have sting. Don't stand so close to me. Which is weird that sting is in this. Um like over the years I'm used to it, but I remember the first time I saw this, I was like what the fuck is sting doing in there. But when I first saw it, I was like oh, sting, that was like a bit of a fucking

I reckon he is. But uh yeah, as he comes across the psyche, he's not gonna take any shit. And he does well in his scenes up against like Vinnie Jones and that, doesn't he? Yeah, he's a biscuit. Yeah. Yeah, of course, yeah. Um so he overhears the lads chatting about ho uh Harjett Hari's card game. And he says y you don't wanna get mixed up with the likes of Hari, do you? And it's

no dad no and he's still like even though he's like in his mid-twenties he's like no oh Jesus Christ what did I do. Um we cut back to Harry and Harry's got an interest he loves antiques and antique guns especially.

Or especially ones worth the value out. Thing is though this is stupid you you can't you're not gonna be able to sell these guns without offers in authentication of of them being bought properly and l legally. You can't just go nick them from a fucking manner and then be at Sotheby's trying to sell them next day. It's it they could be like no that that's that's ridiculous. I don't even know why they're in the catalogue to be honest with you unless the guy himself was gonna sell them and

they've nicked them and they're gonna put them in place. But then he's come here come along and say they're my guns they've been stolen. So I I think it's flawed.

He's got wind that these guns are in this old mano home which is basically owned by a couple of really old, almost dead people who have got no money and he says to Barry the Baptist, I want these guns no matter what, they're worth two hundred and fifty K_ each. So Barry then recruits our scouser friends Now. from anyone not from the U_K_, scouser is like a nickname for someone from Liverpool. And that's Dean and Ganny.

in Gany, or as they call themselves when they're doing the robbery later, they both call themselves Kenny. Kenny Kenny Kenny, are you right ken Kenny come, here Kenny, are you right Kenny? He says to them I want you to go and rob the s the stately home. He says well I do antiques What. we get uh what do we know about antiques? We know drugs, money, you know that sort of stuff. What the fuck do we know about guns, mate? He's and he says what do we know about antiques as well, and Lenny basically says to them if he looks

old is probably worth fucking money. Yeah, I li I'm with Lenny on this though. He's like stop fucking moaning. It's like me talking to my kids though. It's like me saying to my kids, I'm gonna take you out today and buy you all lots of things, and they just moaned me. It's like what I stop fucking moaning. So you relate yourself to Lenny at the end. Marry the barrier about this. Yeah. Um okay, so Eddie is now heading out to the card game. But but when they finish

um a fucking southern fairies and they're fucking northern monkeys.

It is, it is.

Um so Eddie

uh same as my good lady from Birmingham Um. so Eddie Eddie heads to the card game with his buddies and um they get to the entrance to the boxing uh hall where the card game is gonna take place and they're denied access by a real-life boxer I can't remember his name now um is on the door and he says you are coming in but you three can wait next door in Samoan Joe's and they're like Samoan Joe's. It's a bar next door, it's a Samoan bar.

Ain't there pub? There is a is a pub. Yeah.

On fire 'Cause. I'm fucking on fire.

Yeah.

They're not even shot.

No, it's very amazing this bit, isn't it, that the boxing ring is where they're clogging. Yeah. And he goes, and uh Harry says, you must be uh whatever his name is, Sting's son. And he goes yeah. And he says um did you know your d he says you know my dad, did you know your dad? And uh Harry says I didn't, but if you're lucky you keep talking

that you might get to meet him some day. So already there's this like animosity between them. It's like okay, maybe there's a back-story between they never explore it. Maybe there's a back-story between Hatchet, Harry and Sting at some point. Um who knows who, knows. Um cutting back to the stately home where Dean and Gary uh are kinda the the the r um uh the not the ref, the fucking sh the lady yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah yeah. The first film she did in like twenty years or something. Yeah, she was very much kind of like U_K_'s Marilyn Monroe back in the day. So they got her out of retirement for this. Um so yeah Dean, and Gary enter the stately home and you can just tell it's gonna go wrong. It's like a Mister Bean sketch. So uh I I if there's like gonna be this you lock stock universe 'cause they actually made this into T_V_

I think. I didn't watch it though. If uh it came out the year after, it was on channel four every night for like six ni six weeks. I recorded them all and I've still got them all on recorded V_H_S_. Uh each episode was called lock, stop and something different and it was really good. And you know the t you know the D_J_ from Human Traffic, a black f black guy uh who plays with the jungle and pretends that he's scratching and he's not, he

plays um soap, although soap's white in this. He plays a character called soap in it, and it's got a really good cast in it and everything. It's really good. Well, if there'd been a universe at a time, a lot sort universe, I'd have been happy to watch a s been off movie with these two guys, the Liverpool puddling guys. I'd have loved to just watch these two. Kenny? Kenny, come here. So what happens then? Well, how does it go ri no I'll tell you what I love when they go in, and he

and uh the the guy with the big ha haircut, the back of the perm that spent loads of money on his perm Uh. and he won't wear he won't wear a mask, tired himself. I spent eighty quid on this perm Um. uh do you think I'm gonna put a mask on? But he's in the background. As soon as they go in, he's trying to put a massive horn into a bag. And then he turns round and says, what are you doing? What are you doing? So what is he doing here? Yeah, it looks old. Don't stop it. Like we're here for the guns.

Yeah, you can tell it's gonna go wrong Um. so yeah, we'll come back to them in a mon minute. So back to our lads who are in Samoan Joes and they've ordered some cocktails and they get a given they get given especially Jason Statham he, gets given this giant jug full of fruit and little umbrellas and he goes, what the bloody hell was that? And he goes, cocktail you, ask for a cocktail. And he goes, ask for a fucking drink, not half the Amazonian rainforest. I mean you got anything else? He goes, well it's a Samoan

in it? What's the Samoan bar? This place is Samoan. It's like wh what's the Samoan bar? They just think they're like why are we in here? We just want a pint. Um and uh they see Rory Breaker watching the football, find them. And they say oh can you ask your your mate to turn the T_V_ down? He goes oh I mean you can ask him if you want, but I wouldn't. And they look round at him and they go oi oi mate, any chance you could turn that

and he just does this most intense thing where he looks at them and goes no. And that's it. And they all go ooh.

But I love to cut back though, oh this is amazing, to Gary who who who's who's basically got little l little bits of burning material, cloth or whatever, between the toes of the people who are in bed. And the

comes in and says Kenny, what are you doing? And he says I'm asking them again to tell me where is that money? And it's like what are you doing?

He says you've you've got a re really weird thing for torturing people and burning people's fee. You always do this. They're a bit like Marv and um Harry from Home Alone because one of them always wants to block the sinks uh they just wanna try and get the job done, but you've got like a stupid one and an even more stupid one.

It's like you fucking idiot 'cause it's all antiques you fucking idiot. But then he turns down and he gets his head blown off. And then he turns down and there's this massive circle out of his perm which stays there now.

Um going back to the card game, we find out that Hatchet Harry is actually cheating because he's got a little tapping machine on the back of his leg. And yeah, so he's watching on C_C_T_E_ to see what the other people's cards have got And. he's tapping Yeah. But that's that Harry. Yeah.

Well he he's pretty much fucked at this point, Eddie. We realise there's no way he can really win this game Um. but but but he still thinks he can though. The other people w are out of it. And Hatchet Harry, he's just like you know, alright let's keep going then son. Like uh and it g it starts getting really high. He says no, you're gonna need like what five hundredth grand if you wanna see me sort of thing. Oh fucking hell, this is like a heavy money they get into.

before they talk about that we get the w the scene that blew me away the first time I ever saw it and made me re-love this card which is the the card yeah, it's just with the dr with the drummer bass track and you know cards are flying around in normal t and then slow motion and then normal there's freeze frames, people smoking cigarettes, drinks being poured, people jumping on the table 'cause they've lost, people getting thrown out and it's just this crazy amazing scene that it's been done a billion

time since. But at the time yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

that in the song it's just sneakily cut in there. But it's it's the music video t cutting of it and stuff. Uh the editor himself still says he thinks uh Lockstalk's actually a kind of slowly cut movie. He says when I need to I've let look at uh let it linger for ages 'cause I I I w listened to a thing for the editor. Um but he said those bits were quicker. But after that I was just getting told and I had to just keep cutting quicker and quicker and quicker and quicker and quicker. But he says this movie actually is actually kind of it lingers for a while in places when it needs to.

Um somebody gets thrown out of the game violently 'cause he's lost and he didn't wanna g leave but they throw him out and basically Eddie is winning and it comes down to just Eddie and Harry um but like you said to Eddie again, the stakes are incredibly high I think.

Yeah and then he says to him if you wanna see my cards it's five hundred thousand and he's like well I haven't got that and he's like no two hundred and fifty thousand he goes well I'll lend it to you.

Then he goes I will and he says you will what? And there's a bit like yeah he will what? And he says I'll lend you the money Uh. no thank you he says no thank you you, know.

And then he's basically locked in then and he's got to show his cards and if he loses this game he owes actually Harry a per minute and yeah. So he loses because Harry's cheating with this little device.

Yeah 'cause just before he sees his cards he goes if I lend you this I'll want it back by Sunday and uh yeah that's right for every day that doesn't and he says to him I know that your cronies all helped you with this money I. know you wouldn't have been able to come up with it on your own so for each of them is gonna lose a finger. It's all f as far as I'm concerned all four of you owe the money not just you which he's kind of a bit relieved about isn't, he? Um.

And then yeah when he loses, when he realises he's lost we get this brilliant um effect on the camera and yeah. It's there. It's there. Well the camera's attached to Harry's body. So he gets up and walks off and then when you get that motion it's that hole really closer to the face and you're you're you're s like uh moving about the, camera does that with you.

You did say yeah and yeah can mute mute mute mute all the sounds around and stuff, have the music coming a bit more and it turns into the stoogees I wanna be your dog.

And he walks outside and he throws up um.

Yep.

So Eddie walks back into the uh pub and the lads are all in there Did. you did you did you win? And uh he goes no. And he knew.

Yeah. So we don't have to be filled in on it 'cause we already we already done it. Soap bless him. Zucks the Fletcher says well, maybe we could just boycott the payment.

He says if you're not heard of Harry the Etch-et, he runs that set shop a few roads away and he tells him a story about how one time a guy didn't wanna pay him and he grabbed the nearest thing he could which just so happened to be a fifteen inch black rubber dildo and he beat him to death with it.

So he's not the kind of person you wanna whoa half a million to. Oh dear. Um cut to dog, their next door neighbour who is torturing people with golf balls and golf clubs. Uh just to get some money from them basically stealing all their money from these guys who are also dealers I should imagine. And he's pinging golf balls at this guy who's hanging upside down a bit like the last film hanging someone upside down and touching them.

Just throws uh he throws a knife at him. Uh he throws the golf club at him first of all. Just throws uh he throws a knife as well. Uh and they do f they get their money um they've got a lot of money hidden in the uh the chimney. So we c we just get little glimpses of these gangs all getting up to their business. Talking of gangs, the ganger dealers, the posh boys, get a visit from Plank, the weasel. And he thinks he's a weasel. And he thinks he's a weasel.

Alright lads, how you doing? Fucking you know you got all this m all this money lying around. And they say um how much do you want Plank? And he's like fifteen hundred quid's worth so, fucking hell. Yeah. He knocks yeah, he knocks over a box full of all loads of money, sits on Gloria, whoa hey, what are you doing here love, you're alright.

Gloria, I love Gloria.

He just knocks over money and goes I'm not sure about that. And they go no, just leave it Plank. Just go sit over there, we'll do it Plank. Come on.

he's in and out of their place a lot. So. yeah. So cut back to the lads and they're considering their options Wh. some they consider should we put some money on the horses? No, that won't work. Eddie says uh should I tell my dad he might lose the pub? No, don't wanna tell him that yet. No, alright. What we gonna do then? Um Jason Fleming has an idea about setting up a fake dildo uh place where people fill out a

And then they post the checks back to them under a different name and cash it. And Jason's taken us like, well how long was that gonna take? And he goes, about three weeks. And he goes, well that's not gonna help for five fucking days, is it? We've got five days to get this money to him. Well, it's a great idea. Maybe I'll do it another time. Yeah, good one. Nice one. Um uh Plank yeah, you're right. So Plank t is telling Dog about the grow gang and all of their sort of, you know, money and and drugs that they've got. And this is

where Eddie, depressed sitting next to the thin wall, overhears. And he gets a brain wave Maybe. they can scoop in and and rob this gang ahead of or they can let them rob it sorry, and then they're gonna rob the money from Dog's gang. So he tells the other three about it.

And they're all kind of on board. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah 'cause he doesn't does at this point he hasn't shown his true

as yet. Um Big Chris gets called into Harry's office. Hello Big Chris. That's a nice shotgun you got there. Yeah, do you fancy having a look at it? No thanks, not my thing. That's because he wanted him to um hold it so his fingerprints could potentially be on it. But um Big Chris is very clever, didn't want to. He says what is it you want? And Harry basically says I want you to get the five hundred K_ from the boys. You c they they've got about four and a half

five days left to pay me and you're in charge of getting the money back from them. So not only have they got Ben uh Barry the Baptist cutting their fingers off, they've also got Vin they've also got Vinny Jones and his son. I wouldn't even wanna fight his son, let alone Vinny Jones. Like in hell. Um so they're planning the robbery. They need guns. Like I said soap is apprehensive about it. Who do we know that we could buy guns off of? Nick the Greek, Nick the

squeak, nip the Greek. Let's go see 'em. So they're talking about they go and ask Greek, where can we get a gun saying I don't fucking know, I sell T_V_s and stereos They're. like come on wha w if anyone knows where to buy guns, it's you, it's you, come on, it's gotta be you. Uh so Greek sa Greek says well look, I can help you out with the weed, I can prep the weed sale, and I'll try my best with the guns.

And Greek goes to meet our man from Samoan Joe's from earlier Rory, Breaker, who is like a massive ganja dealer, real like kingpin, but he's also a tiny little man as well, but with a terrible temper apparently, as we find out later. Um and we find out through cat from Red Dwarf. Uh 'cause cat we

the use of subtitles 'cause he's using so much Cockney Ryman slang, explains that the reason that Ma'am was on fire was because um he kept on trying to get them to turn the T_V_ down when he's watching T_ when he's watching football. So in the end he ordered a triple brandy, spat it in the guy's face, lit him on fire, but he'd put a fire extinguisher outside just before just 'cause he knew what he was gonna be doing. And then he said he looks back at the T_V_, his team are five nil up. And it's

Okay, this is gangster London life. Amazing. The Scousers go and see Barry the Baptist. Where's the antique guns We? sold those two? What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

you you better get down there. And it's just the way he delivers it. It's just like oh my God, he turns into like the Hulk.

He's like I don't care what you have to do, you get back and back right now. It's the way he does that though. Right yeah, he or I'll bring the ref on you. It's just a horrible horrible man Um. and who have they sold them to, Gavin? Yeah, no. Poor old Nick the Greek.

Tom let's get down to who Nick Nick um uh the p uh who played Nick? No, who played Nick? Whoever it was who played Nick the Great. Couldn't see his name anywhere. Oh yeah, Steve Marcus He. originally went for Tom's role because uh Tom's a fatter person and um and then they d changed it and actually ended up to give it to Jason Fleming and they thought it was actually funnier

he's he's not fat. So it's like a weird guy. It does go on a bit much though. It is a bit weird at times. Like you are fat and you should be fat. You look like you're fat, but you're not fat in it. It it does go on longer than it should do. But yeah. So that's that's that's only the last that's only the last shots. Can you have to come back.

In the bar. Yeah, but that's the that's that's yeah, the bar right at the end. Yeah, yeah. Oh okay. But there's one there was one bit in the middle as well. But it's got really poor right there. Yeah, so the Greek is now involved in this unwittingly 'cause he's got the guns that Barry the Baptist, A_K_A_ also Harry Hatchet wants. So. Yeah, Harry Hatchet, oh I've heard of him. He wants he wants your bar. Oh does it now?

He does it now, but he does Well. you could tell Harry Hatchet to fuck off Oh. whoa whoa. Only once and only once will I let that slide. And it just like come on, come on. Yeah.

Yeah.

He says five days. It's five days or your bar.

Basically. He got Jason's day from there in in a straight away they're like we need to record what's being said next door. Let's get some recording equipment. Why have we got real to real stuff? But then again I thought about and it's the sort of thing you can imagine Nick the Roo Greek going I've got a perfect thing and give them like some real to real and they're going why couldn't you just get a tape recorder. So that's why I looked at it like that after I just I did that myself you, know.

Nick the Greek is basically Delboy from ready for snores. He's got all this shit stuff Um. so yeah they um they're they record all the sort of the details of wh how they're planning their robbery Soap's. got some balaclavas which they initially take the piss out of but, then they realise that's a good idea. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Well he says to him, couldn't you have got anything bigger? He goes how about this? Pulls the machete out of his trousers.

They're fucking scary aren't, they? They're saying oh my God.

And uh this is where Sting clocks Eddie knocks, him out, his own son because he's basically now his bar is in danger because of his stupid son losing all the money and the poker even though it wasn't his fault 'cause Harry Harry cheated. Do you know what I mean? It's not really

Satan don't, get in trouble with him and now it's put him in i his old business into jeopardy. I would probably knock my own kid out as well.

And th and this is the bit now where they say, when we go in there, if someone wants to give 'em a bit of kicking, like Bacon or Tom, that'll probably help out a bit as well. And then this is where a soap says yeah, and make sure you pull out your knives, 'cause never no one wants a knife, do they? Guns for a pro no, but was it guns for show, knives for a pro. And they're just all looking at him like what is he what what's happened to him? He gets he gets proper stuck into it. So funny. So the neighbours, dog and his gang, dog and

Plank and the boys, they head out to uh rob the grow gang. And they're looking out the window, and they all come outside of these long brown coats and go, where are they going? Are they fucking rem moving a piano or something? And they go, oh, it's a good idea. We should probably get coats as well. Yeah, yeah, okay. Um then so Plank turns up at the posh boys. Hello? Oh come, it's Plank. Can I buy some weed? Uh

Willie's not in right now. Ah sorry, just let me in anyway. Uh w uh it's alright with you. We'd rather not if that's okay. And then I oh, they're counting s hundreds of thousands of pounds upstairs, aren't they They've? got so much money. It's ridiculous. But little do they know that Planck is obviously coming to rob them with his gang. So in the end um who is it that goes downstairs Is? it Willy that goes downstairs? Yeah, Willy. It's Willy that goes

says and he doesn't open the c the security gate and Plank's like why aren't you opening the gate and he says oh you know it's just security measures we've been told not to do it anymore um so we have to do our deals through the gate and there's where um Plank grabs him and says right don't you fucking move don't, you fucking shout uh or I'll blow your head off and then he just slowly falls down and faints and passes out. And the others all come in and go what's that what have you done to him and they're like go go go go go and they get there and they

can't get in and there's he goes to get in, he's got the keys he, frings the keys out of his hand.

This is like wha wha what Abbot Castellanos is going on here.

He says what did you do to him Plank? I didn't do nothing he, just passed out, did he? And he's just literally fainted, but his foot is very close to the gate unfortunately. So they they shout upstairs. Yeah. Yeah. He says he says get the gun Jay, get the gun.

It's a fucking air rifle. Just little airplanes. It's the fucking Bringo. Oh yeah, that's right. Isn't it I thought it was called the Bringer. Is it a Bringo thing? Um yeah, he's got a like a an Arnold Schwarzenegger predator style mini-gun. Is it but uh and dogs look at him like, why have he brought this? Again, it's just too many cooks. It's just a

ridiculous. So um one of them gets shot in the neck, it goes ow, it goes ow, what happens I? think I've just been shot. Which is a very famous quote from a um garage track that came out around the same time. Oxide and neutrino twenty, one s no, I can't remember what the song was called now, but um that was a solid crew. Uh so to get their attention, the gang blow off Willy's foot.

shoot 'em in the foot. Uh so in the end Winston has to go downstairs and sort of talk to them about what was going on. Um and they they're like we want you to open the gate. Um we wanna get the money. So they walk him upstairs to go and get the money. Meanwhile well that's all going on. They're loading up the car outside. Is there a traffic warden?

Rob Brydon, famous British comedian. Oh sorry, look, come round the back here and I'll just have a look let me show you right, I've already loaded up half the car yeah, Bang! knocks him out, throws him in the back of the van. What was he gonna do with the traffic warning? They didn't think that bit of the plan through, did he? Cut back to inside Uh. now, what they haven't noticed here is that

is, lying on the sofa, drawing all the sort of of commotion. So this time watching it as I came in I was looking at it and she's completely covered her little faces just showing though. I did tell Alice I was gonna tell this story.

So I'm gonna tell it now. I went to a house party once, seven or eight years ago with Alice. Big party, lot of people there. Everyone was wrecked. There was a hot tub in the back garden. There was a fire pit. There was a people roller skating in the back garden in just their pants. It was a weird party. Um and I was in the garden

drinking whiskey out of the bottle around this fire pit with these guys roller skating and all these girls and stuff. But it was just weird. And then I thought, where's Alice? Can't find her anywhere 'Cause. last time I'd seen her, she'd been in the hot tub. Couldn't see her anywhere. So I went up to her housemate, Joe, and said, Joe, have you seen this is about when she lived with him. Have you seen Joe anywhere? Uh have you seen Alice anywhere? He was like, no no, I haven't God. Where do you think she is? I said I don't know. So we s we checked the whole house, couldn't find her. I went out the front, see if she's on a

Even though you could smoke in the house. All I found was her bra hanging on the wall in the front garden and I thought 'cause I it was like five in the morning, my brain was all over the place, I was thinking she's been kidnapped. Now I don't know what I'm thinking of her bra. I thought she's been cheated on you as well, I would have gone with that. I thought she'd been kidnapped. Now Joe is a very fit guy, you've met Joe, he goes to the gym every day. I said to him, she he said I'll run back to our house, which was like a fifteen minute

like a twenty five minute walk away, but he probably ran it in like five minutes. So he sprinted back to their house and within like ten, fifty minutes he was back at the party and he was like she wasn't there and I was like oh my God, I can't find her anywhere, her phone's turned off. So I was looking around the house. I went I went in the living room and there was like six blokes all stoned s b with loads of spliffs playing um video games and I went has anybody seen uh Alice, she's this tall brunette, she's

a red top. Uh mate uh, do you wanna play FIFA with us? I was like no, I'm trying to find my girlfriend. Ran all round the house, couldn't find her anywhere. Went back in the living room. Are you sure you've not seen her? And then I realised she was glorious. She was there was a huge pile of coats under the sofa on the sofa and she'd cru crawled under them 'cause she'd got stoned in the hot tub and sort of spinning out. Been asleep under there for about two hours. They didn't even know she was in there. They all

themselves when she stood up. 'Cause she'd got in the hot tub earlier. Just her pants. It's one of those parties, Gav. So I told her I t sorry I told her I'd tell that story, so I don't know. Yeah. I tell her I t Sorry, I told her I'd tell that story, so I don't know.

No.

Um uh and all of a sudden uh a guy is macheteed. One of the guys who he goes to look in the other room where all the money is and one of the guys who they didn't think was there machetees him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They start they they go k fucking hell 'cause they find all the money and the weed and they go can we put it in the van, it's a lot. I might have to do two trips. It's fucking feeling there.

Dog's like I don't care if you have to do two fucking trips, get it in the van. Yeah. Um go back in there and it's g how are you doing? I'm fucking alright I live, but he's fucking here, chop my fucking arm off. So they go to kill this dude, but that's Gloria's boyfriend. So Gloria just rises with the machine gun. And it's slow motion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh yeah. It does 'cause she just shoots everything. Yeah.

Where the fuck did she come from? Punches her.

Yep. So back to our lads then they break into the next door neighbour's the dog's house and uh they're gonna wait for everyone and for a second they walk in the room Eddie's like right who wants a cup of tea? Cup of tea? The British Empire was built on cups of tea and biscuits and they're like what are you doing? You don't make a cup of tea? We're about to rob some people Come. on don't worry about it. He's what is Eddie playing at gov? He's a bit of a dick isn't, he?

Yeah, uh but he's forgotten the guns. Um and that's r the reason they did this, they changed it on s uh script 'cause the armorer actually forgot the guns. So they didn't have guns in the first place so they had to change the script to go. I was just right, they didn't even forgot the guns. So that's what it did.

Uh we should also mention that all they've got are these two antique rifles that they got from the the Greek. We did mention that The. the the the titular uh two smoking barrels. That's all they've got, which look ridiculous. I have no idea.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, put the guns in their faces and rob 'em. I do a really good job Yeah. They. they d yeah.

it. And then that guy's like, I'll find you. And he goes, yeah, bet you will sweetheart. And he goes, oh no, I'll find you. And he goes, you'll find me? What do you think this is, a game of fucking hide and seek? It's just like the the the dialogue is so funny. Um so they go outside and they get in the van and they go, what we got then lads? And he goes, fuck ton of weed, fuck ton of money, and uh a traffic water with loads of cleric coming out the back of his head. What were they gonna do with it? Dump him at the next

Uh he's just bea they end up beating him up. So Nick's had to sample the weed to Rory and Rory's like oh listen, what do thing though, Rory goes to smell the weed, he doesn't smell it actually open a packet and smell it, he smells the weed through the packet which I found was incredible, he must have smet a scent of a dog. Uh he goes oh mazing, how do you smell that? Um but yeah uh d yes it's not good though,

because this is his weed we're gonna find out.

Oh he says take it to the take it to the Snow White and the little growers. Uh and then he takes it to 'em and that's when his mate is boys all of a sudden go oh shit.

Scary they are.

Yeah.

R. Rory Breaker, who plays Rory Breaker, what's his name? Faz Blackwood. He said when he was a kid he used to go down to Ca Camden Palace uh and that's where it'd be the night and uh Lenny McLean was a bouncer. So he got to go alright Lenny, and then he'd go go on and you go in and he'd always let him and his boys go in for free and they'd never have to pay and all he'd have to do is say alright Lenny, how are you tonight? And he'd always let him in and he goes

don't know why he'd always do it for me. And uh so it's funny that he'd known him really since he was a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're like oh shit yeah, Yeah. He's like yeah he's like get fucking

that creek in here. Yeah. And he says he he he says a load of uh uh Greek stuff uh that wasn't supposed to b uh c that's not in the script. And he used to came out of that and he said to Guy like, go on let, me do that. Honestly, all my Greek mates will fucking love it. Let me say that. Go on, just let me do one. And he says see, he came out and he had it in, didn't it? 'Cause he got it says, in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. Um dog is

he thinks there must be a bug in there. He has to 'cause he he said we've had every toe rag from this side the river, you know, up against the walls. And then um is this a bit where they bash the hole in the wall by mistake? That's right. And then they figure out the next door neighbour is bacon, tom, etcetera. Yeah. And they realise what's happened. So everyone's getting fucked left, right,

centre here, um the lads have got a ton of money they, count it all. So much money. And another fantastic another fantastic uh they weren't gonna do this, were they They? went back and added the city. Yeah. Yeah, they've because it was tested uh in the audiences that they liked it more. 'Cause they didn't like that the editor thought it was too much like a music video all of a sudden. So we can't have too much of this. They it was a lot less. But like I said, it was it was that time of oasis and that, wasn't it. And everyone's fucking getting drunk and that

sort of partying thing. Late 90s Britain, you know. Yeah.

they got access to all these boos, Statham's doing backflips, you know they're all wrecked. They all wake up in the bar in the morning like oh what happened. I feel sorry for I feel sorry for Nick the Greek um but obviously uh um thing with Jiggy old Rory Breaker knows that Nick's fucking stupid. I g I know you're fucking stupid 'cause you wouldn't be standing there otherwise you, know bringing me in my own weed. Yeah yeah yeah. Um uh so he's like oh oh. Oh.

by accident because Nick puts his drink on the glass table and it smashed it and that was a that wasn't supposed to happen, but he plays on it and Rory plays on it and then that needs to have seen uh moments later where he then forgets that there's no glass when he goes back there and goes to put the glass on the table. So they added that bit in.

Oh I thought he'd put his oh. Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Ah.

But like yeah, did like that. That's how they had to do it 'cause they're like how else are we gonna fucking do this? So they just flipped it.

That's right. So um they've gone next door, dog and all that lot, because they found the hole in the wall and they get all their money back, but they wanna wait for the lads to come home, don't they Dave? Do you want them to go upstairs?

Fucking kill 'em. I love the fact that the boss just says to 'em just kill them and then it's like yeah, yeah, no worries It's. like hang on, your boss is telling you to kill. He's t getting you to do dirty work. You'll go down for this, you know. Don't know.

Yeah.

We forgot about the scuses. But Dean and Gary call Nick the Greek.

Greek Nick, the Greek we need those guns back straight away. He's like well, I've got 'em, have I? I've sold 'em No. no, we need 'em we need 'em now. And he's like what uh and he's he's packing up Nick the Greek 'cause he's fucked He's. packing up his shoe shop and all this stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. And they're like no, Danny the Baptist wants them back. So he's like I've got 'em. So he brings Barry back up saying that he hasn't got 'em. And Barry says you get those guns. Fucking hell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he says.

On moment. This is the moment you wanna know what's going on. I'll tell you what. You fucking get them guns or I'm gonna do torture in your family. And he's yeah, that's right. He says it'll it'll be trouble for your family. That's right. Christ. And then there's this when he goes I think that was Hattie Hattie Hattie. It's like oh, God. It's yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep.

know th is it Zoros the Greek I guess called, or Zor? or. And it's a classic song 'cause we all know this build-up to and it's been in loads of movies before where it's not on d-d-d-d-d-d yeah, and then it goes real fast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And uh uh Rory's like I want the grey skulls uh uh grey skies in London to be

He's just sorta wanting to go there and fucking make a deck of uh deck of weapons. Yeah yeah, probably, yeah.

He've g he walks in there like guns blazing as well with little Rory Breaker. Um yeah, so he goes to the lad's house, so dogs' boys are waiting there.

And these guys turn up, so the dogs' boys are all hiding under the thing. I'm fla Plank's fucking under the bed like a little weasel. So these guys turn up, these big massive guys turn up, they're black fucking leather jackets and all like leather clothes or whatever. And these big guns, all of 'em, all look quite into him doing like the black fucking black panthers all just walked in. And he's just like, what the fuck's going on? Can you imagine I'm Plank, you ain't got nothing to t get up there.

By accident, and then it goes off. So he uh so so the bot upstairs is in, he's been counting money, so he's gonna s jump out the uh uh the s stable window out the front.

Yeah, he jumps out, lands turns, right.

He goes alright, you got something for me there sunshine, that's him. And then he's got the guns, great. So he's got what he wanted from Harry, that worked out well for big Chris.

You're the driver you're the dr I'm the driver, you get the g no you get the fucking guns. And they're just arguing over that.

Meanwhile, dog

gets up uh, and then is immediately run over by Matthew Vaughan in a cameo in a car,

pulls 'em out of the car, calls 'em a fucking yappy, gets in the car and chases after um Vinnie Jones, cut back to the boys arriving, home and, it's just an absolute their house is just now destroyed with loads of dead bodies in it.

But it's turned out like what the fuck's going on here. And obviously their money's gone. Everything's gone. So it's just it's all their stuff's been replaced by a load of dead corpses.

Yep. No li they don't understand what's happening. We should also mention that the last man standing was Rory. But then he went over to kill Plank and Plank still had a bullet left in his gun. So they shot each other exactly at the same time. So yeah, there's no one left now. Um yeah, uh Chris gives the guns to uh one of the one of the growers wh uh the one who said it was was gonna finger which ones it was. He manages to get away. Yeah. Winston gets away. Uh

Chris gives the guns to Harry, he goes, here you go, thought you might like these, I know you like this kind of thing there i, well, well well well, thanks very much, Chris. Um and he rings up um he phones up uh ho ho Harry doesn't, he know Tom, um Eddie, and he says to him, well I've got your money.

And it's almost like he's gonna let him off for the five hundred K_ because what I'm more interested in is where he got these guns So. if you'd like to come into my office place. And he and so he puts and he puts phone out and says uh I think we're off the hook. And he says what? I said yeah, and he's really confused by it. But we've gotta remember that the Scousers are still there and they're gonna go in there to go get their guns 'cause Vince Jones comes out and he's got no guns. But they don't know that that's where that's where he

they're trying to get the guns for. At this moment in time, Harry the Hatchet and Barry the Baptist don't care about these scalcers, and they probably won't even think of them again, and they're up here and they're l they might be in bed and g about to go sleep and go oh, those fucking scalcers. But like th they don't even think about them now, which is makes it so even more funny.

They break in well, they sneak into Harry's sex shop and uh

then he gets back in a car and his c his son's been fucking held by by uh dog.

That's right. In the case

put your seatbelt on son.

And uh and he says to him I'll stick this knife in your boy if you don't drive, and he goes well I can either drive us there in five minutes or it's a fifteen minute walk. And he goes well drive us there, and he goes alright I'll drive us there. So yeah dog dog wants to get um get this money back from wherever it is that he knows many changes been. So it's all leading up to this crescendo now. The scalcers uh sneak into Harry's and they find

Harry loading and polishing one of the lock stock antique guns. Um he shoots Gary uh then uh the other one comes in and shoots Harry. But then what they don't know is that Barry the Baptist is there with the fucking axe which he throws in the back of the last one. And then he turns around and he goes what the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? And they all just sort of die. They've all killed each other.

So Tom and Eddie, as ordered, have come in to Harry's sex shop and they've been told to come in.

But then they find their bag of money. And they're like hang on a minute, this is our bag, this is our money. And then Tom says I'm just gonna get these guns. He goes what are you doing? He goes I just wanna get these guns a minute.

So uh Eddie realises they're in the clear, but Tom wants to just quickly grab the guns. We'll come back to him in a minute. Because outside, Big Chris takes this opportunity to crash his car uh to smash into the other guys' um then he drags dog out of the car and says, never in my fucking life have I met somebody who was so fucking rude to me. If you listen, that's what he's saying. But that's what he

but it doesn't sound like that 'cause it's. It's horrible when he's doing that. It's really horrible. Um and yeah, bash his dog's head in basically. Then him and his son get out of the car and wander off 'cause his son's seen this kind of thing many times before. Yeah. His son's gonna be ripping people's T_V_ out of appliance. So um big Chris goes back in to have a word with

but then he finds uh Tom with the guns and uh big Chris realises that Harry's dead, so they just both part ways and don't say anything to each other.

I think he probably does, yeah.

Well it's pretty obvious, he must think that.

Dunno.

And then the boys are all in the bar at the end.

Can't believe they've lost all the money. About three times now they've lost all the money. And all the weed They've. done all this for fuck all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Harry's dead, so the main thing is they're okay now, but they're running money straight for it. Um s we should also mention that Sting picks up uh Eddie and have a bit of a go at him.

What happened? They had the money bag in their car because Vinnie Jones drives into when he gets out of office, he looks in and says oh sorry about that mate, you're right. And then he goes cheeky fuckers. Yeah, and takes the bag. And that's when he walks in and sees yeah.

Um being interviewed about what's going on they're, all off the hook.

They're in a pub disgusting and like the only thing I can figure out now, the only thing that connects us with the robbery and all the killings is those guns.

Yeah. But before they can do anything, Vinnie Jones walks in and he looks at Sting and Sting says they're over there, he goes over, he goes alright lads. And they all think they're right. No, Tom's not there at that point. They've just sent they've just sent him away.

Yeah well, that's it. Yeah, they've told Tom to get rid of the guns 'cause then he says to them there's your bag back. What you should be th I think the words you're looking for are thank you. He says now I'm not gonna say anything to anybody about anything. What I have done is taken some money from my boy and me. Uh if you don't think that's fair, when you've counted the money, then come see me any time alright. And then he walks off. Then he goes oh, one more thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's

phones ring ha a phone in mouth, hand on the guns, hanging over a bridge trying to push 'em in and that's where we end.

I'm sure that was it from the talent job 'cause we never quite know either way.

Actually the end no the ending was uh they changed it Well. uh probably was like you said, but the ending originally was um uh Finny Jones and his kid just go walking after them.

They've got the money and he just goes after them says and i his kid says who's that dad and he says to know let's go find out and it ends like that open-ended and uh Guy Ritchie came up with it and said I've got an idea and that's when they pulled Fingman Jiggy back and he'd gone on to another movie Jason, Flemming had longer hair and that's why I wore that hat.

And we do see that Jason Statham um and I'm sorry that um Finny Jones and his son have got a snazzy new car and he says son we are officially in the money-lending business seatbelt. And yeah that's the kind of end really. And it's a fucking roller-coaster. Hard film to talk about because it's a lot going on there I. hope everyone's been able to stick with us and it's v a pro long conversation that's been going on for a while.

But it's it's one of those movies that most people have seen anyway and it's fun to talk about fun to quote. Yeah obviously huge thumbs up it's it's very well written very well acted very funny the the comedy holds up very well even though it's nineteen ninety eight Um. it's very old film it's getting on for thirty years you know in a couple of years' time it'd be it's minimal and it's it still does yeah, and and I still think it's Guy Ritchie's best work.

Yeah I could show this to um my my I could show this to like I don't know about my doors but I shou could show this to larger in five six years and you'd probably find it quite good. Yeah.

And speaking of time let, us get out of here and come back for the outro. Thank you very much for your suggestions R_J_ it, had been good choices thank, you very much.

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Oh we're back.

And we're back to say goodbye and we must thank R_ J_ McCready our King patron of the episode for selecting two fantastic London gangster films. Um if you've not seen either of them or if you've only seen one of them, they're both a hundred percent worth watching. The cream of the crop when it comes to London gangster stuff, so put it but R_ J_ must remove the crown from your head, put it back in this little box ready for a couple of episodes of time and the next patron will be wearing it.

episode, great fun, terrible accents that we did. Gav, do you wanna know what's coming up next? I love that. We should do that every time. What's coming up next? Uh so our next episode, hundred and fifty one, we're gonna be getting lucky with Chucky. Yes, Charles Blake three from nineteen ninety one, which was temporarily banned in the U_K_ and we'll get into that and why that

uh and then uh nineteen ninety eight's Bride of Chucky. Hmm After. that episode, a hundred and fifty two, that will be our fourth John Carpenter special 'cause we are coming back to the master of horror, our favourite director, and we've each selected a film I've. selected nineteen eighty three's Christine the killer car. And I've selected uh I don't know the year but, Maelth Badness.

four, starring Sam Neil. So that'll be a good fun. Um and then after that, it's another patron thing. Uh it's episode a hundred and fifty three is gonna be Jamie's pit. She is still she's still sitting on what she's she's still thinking. I think she's narrowing down. So I don't know what she's selected yet. Don't don't be stressed. Don't rush. Just f yeah. Yeah, I know

there's certain patrons where you kind of expect them to pick different things, but last time Jamie picked those wicked, amazing, high exploitation movies. But yeah, that went s up to there Yeah. Yeah, absolutely You. never know. She m sure might throw a curveball We'll. see. We'll see. But that's what's coming up over the next three episodes. So thank you again R_J_ for selecting those and sending us your email and your support. Um I'll do some admin, just do our housekeeping, and then it's time for

us to say goodbye to you all.

Ding ding housekeeping. Okay, so we are the podcast on Haunted Hill. Thank you for listening, supporting and all the other things that you do. Uh we've been going for ten years. We love doing this. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We are a proud member of the Legion Podcasts Network. If you wanna jump on over to Legionpodcasts.com to find out more about us and all the other shows, all the other um historical episodes are on there for us and all the other shows on the network. We're also on Facebook. The podcast on Haunted Hill is our Facebook page. Uh it's

huge community on there that's again it's been going for ten years. You can join us um join us and you can post up what you're watching, what you're looking forward to, trailers, posters, jokes, memes, gifs, all that kind of stuff. It's really good fun. You can also reach out to me and Gav on there uh through insta not instant messenger, whatever you call it on Facebook, Facebook messenger, that's the one. Um nee Legion also has its own uh Facebook page as well again, as you would think, it's just Legion podcasts. And we have an email address if you wish to uh email us. It's the podcast on Onzital

look dot com with suggestions questions, queries, anything that you want to ask. Wherever you're listening to us is where you can continue to listen to us. We're on most podcast platforms or pod catchers, a Spotify, YouTube pod, and I've Apple, and many many other places, and prat forms and prat form, prat forms. And we're on Instagram uh which I just mainly use to promote the show and the episodes, and that's the

Podcast on Aunted Hill, Insta. Um we haven't mentioned deadbolt films, well we did briefly mention it, but deadbolt films or deadbolt films media is our production company. Yeah, it's it's our official uh uh you know uh of of we are also a proud member of deadbolt media, I suppose. Yep. Yep.

stuff, comics and many many other things including this podcast and another podcast that carved us which, is called, yes which, is true crime and mysteries and other things, um lots of gory stuff on there and good fun if you guys wanna wanna hear some weird and wild tales. Um and we have a YouTube channel as well which, is Deadbolt Films, you can search for that. And do subscribe to the Deadbolt channel, it's probably the best way to actually um uh get uh know when there's uh a little information and stuff

up from us 'cause um we put up the odd little video shorts or things like that with stuff. And uh we are working very hard actually behind the scenes, stuff will be coming to your eyeballs again soon.

indeed indeed we have some exciting things planned uh we're st we're we're cracking on with stuff and go going out for a meal a meal a week today with the guys. Yep. You're not coming. You can come if you want. Uh I'd love to get away from the ki I mean I love my children, but what Uh. and finally dead bottle films is on Instagram. Just go find dead bottle films. And finally the big one um because this was a patron pick is thank you to all of our patrons

thank you guys so so much for your support. Uh if you want to become a patron, just go to uh patron and search for the podcast on Haunted Hill. Um you can become a patron for as little as a pound or a dollar a month um or as much as you like. Uh it doesn't matter though if you wanna just keep listening for free, that's absolutely fine, just maybe share the episode or tell people about us. Um but if you become a patron uh you get um access to our entire back catalogue um every fri every freaky Friday we're posting at one of our old episodes in

You also get a T-shirt in one of three colours, in the size of your choice, and you get to select your own pa pa pa page, run, pick, pick, pick, pick. Um which is where you can choose two films like R_J_ did for this episode. Um tell us why you love them, read out a blurb or anything you want. You don't have to say anything, you can say as much as you want. You get to to select the programming for that episode. You also get access to other exclusive content which we do, but often time to time

and other short sort of little mini podcasts and stuff as well when we when we can. We haven't done it for a while, but when we can. Um you also get your name read out at the end of the episode. So I'm gonna do that now. So thank you very much to all of our patrons Um. mm I'm gonna do Cockney voices as you would expect for each of these uh patrons. So and you don't have to say thanks, Gav. You can just listen. But if you wanna say thanks, you can. And so thanks very much to thee. Thanks, mate. Uh s s s I think it is.

Don't call ya. Thanks very much to Matthew Goodly. Thanks very much to Jamie Jainins. Thanks very much to giving this wife. Cheers to Sarah Kaye. Thanks a lot to Rachel. Cheers to our old mucker, R_ J_

Yeah, cheers mate, fuckin' hell, fuckin' hell, John.

Fuckin' chill, chill Winston.

Cheers.

They said it in a funny voice. D_ Sorry D_ You've. had your name read out about ten times I_D_. D_ D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_D_ There we go. You even got a song 'cause your audio is patron. So that's what that's what you get. A little song for each of them. Don's is easy. His would just be don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don-da-don Well. well there we go. Two o two of them have now got

with the other guys. So uh so yeah stay tuned for more exciting stuff guys. We've done some London gangsters this episode. Thank you for listening. We've got Chucky, we've got John Parker uh yeah indeed and a s and a franchise for the next one. So look forward to getting to some child's play stuff. Uh and I've got f part three on the V_D_ I. sort of like that. And one part four cool? Oh yeah it's, been there as the the girl thing yeah, okay cool.

I haven't got any more than that on D_V_D_, I've only got the first four on D_V_D_ Um. but yeah, I'm looking forward to that So. thank you very much everybody. I don't remember three in the slides, I couldn't tell you anything about it at all, so. Three is the one with the paint balling and the military school brilliant, absolutely brilliant, and shocking scenes. And the reasons it got bad, the re reasons it got banned before talking about it. It w wasn't some of this shot at Brookwood symmetry. I'm not sure, but it got banned because

it was blamed for the death of a very young boy here in the U_K_ uh by two boys that tortured him and killed him, and they said that it's because B_ by child's play three. Yeah, we won't go into the details of that, but we will explain why it was temporarily banned in the U_K_. But enough of that, that's for the next episode. So it's it's a good night from Barry the Batcherstaht. It's a good night from Facking L_ John. It's a good night from

a little bit in stern and it's a good night from me.

And it's a good night for me and Bob Hoskins soaping each other up in the hairy shower. Oh God. What's a rubber? Does hair come out the faucet instead? Like you know does, it come out the top. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh there we go. Good night Gav. Good night. Uh by the way

do check on the uh on the uh bed for Bob Hoskins naked. Check it check it check the shower.

Yeah right. Good night everybody. Kenny Kenny. You alright Kenny? Come here Kenny. Uh g good night Kenny. See you again soon people. Bye bye. Thank you for listening to the Podcast on Haunted Hill. We will be back again real soon.

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